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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3028. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>"sorry anon, but your flacid penis is below the minimum length, you will need to be locked in chastity to prevent the spread of your worthless seed for the duration of this event"

What do you say?
26 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>38214030
Like a flacid dick means anything.
Erekt is where the shits at.
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>>38214030
ah shiieet
>>
What's the story? Why is a hippie measuring his flaccid cock?

I think I'm going to end my life soon. Would somebody talk to me, please? I'm a bit scared of what comes after..
15 posts and 3 images submitted.
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What's on your mind, lost soul?
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>>38214018
OK what seems to be the problem op?
>>
don't do it, buddy

who will be there to read my shitposts? what's up

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>be me
>at work
>forgot lunch at home
>big board meeting
>fucking bagel mountain in break room
>grab myself a bagel
>7/10 qt3.14 starts talking to me
>talking with her
>apply the cream cheese
>fucking slather that bitch up
>2 inches deep of cream cheese
>ew its all melty and shit
>take bite from my yummy bagel
>OH SHIT
>nearly gag in front of coworkers
>look down
>not cream cheese
>just spread 2 inches of room temperature mayo on my bagel
>qt didn't notice
>keep eating it so as not to draw attention to it
>throw up in office from rancid mayo
No one saw me through up, but they can smell it. Do I need to find a new job, anons?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38213992
>>be me
Wow, really? Huh?
>>
Dude, stop making me hungry. I'm in NYC right now so I'm literally surrounded by bagels.
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>>38214024
Wha t if i wasnt me? i didnt want anyone to be confused

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>attractive girl notices you and says hello
>you start talking, hit it off
>she's funny, nice, friendly
>she invites you to her place
>starts getting touchy, close
>you let her, since she's kind of hot
>sex happens
>afterwards she tells you to get out
>"i only used you for your dick anon, sorry"

How would you feel about that? It wouldn't be so bad right? You had fun, she had fun.
So why is it, that girls whine about the same thing when the genders are reversed?
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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"What would happen if I do not get out?"
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>>38213974
Honestly, I would feel sad and manipulated. I'd rather she have been truthful if she only wanted to have sex.
>>
>>38214002
Eventually you'd have to leave since you'd starve to death. She wont feed your ass. Besides, she can always call the cops.

That's not the point though. The point is, being used for your dick would actually be pretty awesome if the girl is moderately attractive.
But if a guy uses a girl for her pussy, its literally the worst possible thing he can do to the girl next to rape. It doesn't make sense.

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Why are sadistic girls so attractive?
20 posts and 4 images submitted.
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They aren't. Only a filthy masochist would want one.
>>
they are attractive in the first place and are only sadtistic because they know that because their attractive, they'll get away with any kind of sadism

your being played
>>
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>>38213874
Yeah, this is probably it, they make up for it in other ways which just elevates the rest of their charm and makes it worth it. It's good stuff.

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Why does no one talk about /f/? It is objectively the best board
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Haven't had flash installed for about a decade, what are they doing nowadays? Last I checked it was just forced memes
>>
>>38213806
I seen another Anon mention it and looked at it today never really been there before but its pretty cool. can i save stuff from there or will i get fucked
>>
>>38213806
because flash animations are dated. I didn't even know that board still existed. It is the same as noone talking about Newgrounds anymore.

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> Be 30 year old homosexual male
> Recently quit job at Target due to bad management and anxiety attacks
> Over 20k in student debt
> English major but no one is hiring for my field
> Live with boyfriend who supports both of us
> No sex drive due to weight
> Boyfriend getting more irritable each day
> Boyfriend angry I quit my retail job so quickly and is forcing me to get another
> Still no jobs for an English Major
> Unable to find a business loan to start up my coffeeshop/bookstore business
> Planning to return to college to get a more "in demand" degree
> Boyfriend is against this and wont help me. Insist I work in fast food or retail knowing I have anxiety.


How can someone who is supposed to be there for you be so cruel?
62 posts and 17 images submitted.
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Start by exercising and losing weight, fatass
>>
>>38213744
Its not that simple I have bad knees and I cant afford a gym membership or a weight set. This also wont help my issue with employment.
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>>38213719
seriously: put lgbtqdjxjngf organizations on your Rezsume and apply to corporate America positions at big companies.

Diversity points ftw

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Do Japanese girls really talk like this?
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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If you find the right one, yeah.
>>
>>38213697
No, they speak japanese.
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>>38213697
Yeah. It's highly annoying when you're trying to write specs.

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>mfw I can only see women as subhuman garbage
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38213693
Weeeewww you're so special
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>>38214060
>he'd be so hot
>he's actually kinda cute
Who the fuck made this pic
>>
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>>38213693
Ignore the faggot above me.
I'm not memeing right now.
Realising this truth, this redpill about women, seeing it clear as day, means you have achieved enlightenment with respect to the matter.
Normie, Jews, and cunts (women) will call you names, call you a virgin/loser/whatever the fuck to discourage you.
But realising this truth means you have an above average intelligence and can see past the machinations of the vagina Jew trying to hide their true nature from men. Most great, highly intelligent men have stumbled upon this feeling just like you have , friend.

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Do any of you guys listen to Bones?
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Yea I do. He's alright I guess. BUT, he's not even robot tier OP.>>38213679
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>>38213785
Yee I guess r9k isn't the right place for this kind of music
>>
>>38213679
I like him but thats because my oneitis is really into him. haha

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you heard it from CNN first, anon days are over. ITT: use a name so they can dox
26 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>38213674
Cnn sucks! Take it in the ass Kristen! MAGA!
>>
>>38213674
You never were anonymous. What you post and click on can be tracked. How do you think people get arrested for the shit they post on here?
>>
>Mock Fox news live on the air for years
>Nobody does anything
>Mock CNN one time with a gif
>Track down the person who did it and threaten to destroy their entire life if they don't publicly apologize
Fucking pathetic.

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Aren't traps just stealing valor from trannies?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38213642
>Valor
>Trannies
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>>38213642
nah traps are cool, trannies are delusional scum of the earth.
>>
>>38213642
We are the same branch, just different leaves. There is no need for conflict

How did your first titfuck feel like?
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38213636
I honestly cant remember, the first one i had was when i lost my virginity... which was when I was 16.

Its not really that much a big deal, and the girl gets absolutely nothing out of it.
Much more enjoyable things you can do.
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>being with a cowtits ever
>fucking stupid tits when a pussy, WHICH IS DESIGNED FOR FUCKING, is two feet away
>>
>>38213711
>not fucking feet, SEXY FEET, when they are 3 pussies away

Remember that the game is fucking rigged
37 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>5'9
kys, shorty
>>
>>38213657
What the fuck it's literally average height!!
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>>38213687
6'8 is average, stop being in denial

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I'm a top tier Chad. Currently in a long lasting relationship, a lead singer in a band and I have played football for a long time. Before dating my girlfriend I was well known for getting all the girls at the parties, even the taken ones. Ask me anything .
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>ask from a chad

what's it like to be dumb?
>>
>>38213583
Actually I am graduating soon with very good grades and also I have been studying university level of philosophy from the age of 16
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>>38213572
What is your family like?


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