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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3749. page

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>was looking at porn
>door was cracked open
>someone fuckin walked by my door like 6 times
did he see oh god
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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if he says anything about it just own it. "yeah I was jerking off. everyone does. who cares? "

he'll respect you for being radically secure with yourself
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>playing willy wars with brother
>victorious, turn around and get ready to use that sweet fanny
>notice door is open
>plate of food our dresser

dad brought us a meal and didn't wanna disturb us..
kill me now..
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>>37867862
but i wasnt looking at normal porn anon

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Wish me luck bros, I will stick to this everyday so help me Dog.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37867841

lol i had that, literally just have lot's of erections, and try to gently jerk

When you're having a semi you just slightly tug

now i'm loose, having tight foreskin is great actually
>>
>>37868628
why is it great?
>>
>>37869207

$Aesthetic tight erections, more pleasure and friction etc

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>tfw never win willy wars
>tfw lost all feeling of fanny 3 months ago
>tfw will never produce a victorious amount of willy milk
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Just lift some weights bro

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>be me
>6'2, 150 pounds, have 10/10 gf
>one day at store decide to buy some chicken tenders
>get home, excited to eat
>take one bite into it
>suddenly gain 200 pounds
>shrink 1 foot
>acquire a fedora
>dump gf, who needs her when I have my ju jitsu
>get many katanas
>piss in new daddy's mouth
>today was a good day
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
No replies in the DB for this post!

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Help me talk to a girl that seems nice likes cats, like me and I feel like she could change something in my life.
36 posts and 4 images submitted.
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I just want to talk freely to her without freezing thinking of something that would catch her attention
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>>37867745
>if cutegirl
hey :D

>if stacy
hi there :)

gl gl
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>>37867762
need more context. have you talked to her before

Winston, Come back. Everyone misses you, And the mod feels bad about banning you :(
3 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>37867744
Winnie please come back we love you
>>
WINSTON PLEASE

DONT LEAVE ME WITH THEM

>passed an IQ test
>got 117
>realized that I am mere dumb
Why did my parents born me? This was a huge mistake. Kill mi pliz
31 posts and 5 images submitted.
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it's never too late to ragequit
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>>37867723
That's probably what my IQ is, and I literally can't help what's wrong with my brain. I'm pretty sure my mom got high/drunk once or twice while I was in the womb.
>>
post link my man i wanna try this

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/r9k/, why don't you have a fujoshi gf?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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girls are gross and i dont like them
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Come on now, Anon, you don't really still go after 3d girls, do you?
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Because I'd rather have a fujo bf

>world didn't end in 2012
13 posts and 4 images submitted.
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I remember I was out under my porch getting high when it was counting down to 2012, I was just waiting for the world to end
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>tfw you were genuinely unironically counting on it and now you have no plans
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>>37867699
ordered shitty, overly expensive chinese food and ate while the clock struck midnight. was disappointed in the food, was disappointed in the doomsday prophets.

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I just accidentally kissed my mom on the lips instead of the cheek. It was awkward.
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37867688
How about I make you kiss my ass on the lips you queer fucking piece of incest pursuing shit. You mom doesn't like you. Your dad doesn't like. Your cousins don't like you. I don't like you and I don't even know you. You're a fucking joke, kid.
>>
>>37867722
This.
Anon, just kys. It's not like you have a gf or friends to miss you.
>>
Did you enjoy it? you cuckboi

When I was a kid, I sold my soul to the devil so that the Red Socks would win the world series. This was in 2004. For those of you who aren't familiar with sports, up until that point the Red Socks had not won a single world series in like 84 or 86 years. The team was believed to be cursed. Baseball's got a lot of superstitions like that. Thanks to the immense monetary inequality in baseball, the richer teams get first dibs, and therefore tend to always win. That's why teams like the New York Yankees and (more recently) the San Francisco Giants tend to do so well. Wall Street and Silicon Valley $$$, respectively. The unequal success of the teams reflect the unequal success of the cities. It truly is the most American sport.

Anyhow, I was 11 or 12 at the time when this happened. Most of you are going to think that I'm making this up. Selling your soul, the Devil... it sounds like a completely made up story. Maybe I am wrong about what happened; I hope to god that I am. All I can tell you is that somehow, deep down, it feels like it did. I had one of those imaginary conversations with the devil the same way many of us used to have imaginary conversations with God as a kid. I'd heard of people selling their soul for personal gain, and I figured that if it was really was possible to have any wish granted in exchange for their soul, it was strange that nobody had tried to sell their own for the greater good instead of just for themselves. At the time, the greatest good I could think of was ending Bambino's curse. So I said in my head that I would do it -- make that sacrifice -- and that very year it really did happen.
28 posts and 7 images submitted.
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There was some serious voodoo going on that night. The moon turned blood red (solar eclipse). One of the pitchers -- I forget who but he had facial hair like Jesus -- began bleeding from his ankles. A ripped tendon made his Red Socks red with blood: the Stigmata. And then it happened. They won. I was happy at the time, but immediately began to feel guilty and worried about what I had done.

I've changed a lot since then. I've lost interest in sports, I no longer really believe in God. The only thing that has kept me slightly theistic is the fear that I may have done this unforgivable thing. When I finally told my dad Dad about what I thought I'd done, he said that he didn't think a righteous God would really prosecute a 12-year-old child for trying to sacrifice himself in this way, but I'm not so sure.

The reason I bring this up is that even if hell isn't real, I'm afraid that I've become trapped in the closest thing humans have ever created to the biblical conception of Hell. I'm talking, of course, about this place: 4chan. Think about it. It's a place that doesn't exist in the real world where the most horrible people in existence come to torment one another. Nothing really changes, nobody really dies, we can't truly hurt one another. But we're stuck in this endless cycle of pain where the only joy is that felt at the expense of others.
>>
I'm addicted to internet culture. When people say they're addicted to shit like that, they usually mean it in jest. But I'm being dead serious right now. A thing does not have to be chemical in order for it to be addicting. There are gambling addicts, sex addicts, porn addicts. The only real criteria for addiction, I think is that the addicting thing in question has to (1) cause problems and (2) propose itself as a solution to the problems it causes. My parents used to bug me about the way I wasted my life, and I used to ignore them, but a few years ago I finally realized they were right.

I'm a smart person. I'm intelligent, creative, I can write and work and draw. I'm not saying this to brag, I'm just pointing out that I've got potential and I'm wasting it online. I allow social opportunities to slip me by, and I allow schoolwork to be turned in late or not get done at all. The college I go to is well below my true abilities, and though I'll be graduating this Summer as an Applied Math major I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do with the degree.

There's more I could say, but I'm getting tired of writing, and I imagine you're getting tired of reading. My question is: how do I get out of here? Get off of not only 4chan but out of the internet culture? I've been trying for quite some time to be productive, I've even gone to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings despite not having a drinking problem. But I keep coming back.

I don't want it to end like this. I don't want to be dependent on my parents for the rest of my life. I want to live. Create. Know the touch of a woman. Fall in love. I'm finally realizing that there's nothing here, but what can I do to stop?

Any advice would be welcome.
>>
There's no devil. Nothing supernatural exists. You are the only person with the means to affect your future in any meaningful way. You're free.

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what the fuck are ya looking at wagie?

get back to work
9 posts and 6 images submitted.
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Y-Yes, sir...here's your Subway sandwich...p-please don't forget to tip...
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Despite all my rage I still make minimum wage...

Anyone else #buylocal? I don't go into chain stores because when I give them 20 bucks, the person I gave it to gets pennies out of that. I deliberately shop at owner operated businesses because when I give him 20 bucks, he gets 20 bucks minus his costs and taxes and that's it. More of my money goes to things that make my community better. Things like neetbux.
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>>37867707
TIPS? This establishment is pitiful on top of your poor customer service. I'll give you a tip, stop stuttering like a retard you pathetic wagie slavie.

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Greetings fellow NEET's, how has your day been so far?

I've been feeling pretty under the weather today, probably just a cold so I haven't done much today except staying in bed.
I'm so glad I can be ill without having to see the doctor just so I can get a paper and hand to my boss so I wont get fired.
being ill is pretty comfy actually
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Try it here edition

>what the fuck is Worlds?
Worlds.com is a virtual chat room from the early 90s. In its haydays hundreds of people would interact and chat with one another in the surreal enviorements of the game. The community recieved a drastic decrease after new and improved chat games like Second Life started to pop up. Now Worlds has become a barren game, full of empty, unnatural worlds, with only a handful of regulars still roaming the gameworlds.

>downlaod the base game here
http://worlds.com/

>old java version required to play this game
http://users.worldsonline.com/users/jimbly/java/index.htm

>basic guide
http://www.worlds.com/help.html

Welcome to hell, enjoy your stay and have fun exploring!
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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If you're under 6' it's over. Period. Even your "loving" gf (if you even get one in a million years) doesn't want to father your children. It's over. If you're a manlet speed up the process and kill yourself.
240 posts and 31 images submitted.
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>>37867617
Women were a terrible mistake
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You just can't win, women will always want Chad no matter what. It's clear from that post that she settled for him as a beta provider but still wants Chads big cums inside her and will always yearn for it. If you're under 6' you're only hope is to accept being cucked one way or the other.
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>>37867617
>i close my eyes instantly and pretend to be asleep
no wonder she wants a sperm donor


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