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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5835. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

Share music you made or like in this thread and robots can analyze it for you and make sure you're not a pleb

Here's a song I wrote recently

https://youtu.be/hVQWV8jO-Ac
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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https://youtu.be/H0vNEjSteeM
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>>36769638
I didn't expect much from the Cannibal Ox album that you posted the artwork of but it still was really disappointing. The Cold Vein is my shit, though.
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>>36769889

cannibal ox know good artwork when they see it

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>tfw fell for the buzz cut meme
15 posts and 1 images submitted.
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I always have a buzz cut otherwise my jewfro comes out and I'm exposed
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>mom forced me to basically get buzz cut my entire childhood
>realize that girls are attracted to styled hair like 2 years ago
>your mom has basically been sabotaging you

do not fall for that buzzcut fucking meme. it's so fucking ugly compared to having your shit styled.
i just cut my own hair now. just get a stencil for the back of your neck and you can't fuck up.

do your line with a razor or something. only reason Supercuts uses clippers to line you up is because they're lazy fucking ripoffs.
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>>36769600
I fell for it too friend, now I'm just waiting for it to regrow.

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>go to store
>buy 5 pizzas and large coke
>get to check-out
>"someones having a party!"
>mfw
14 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36769591
stop eating so much fatty
of course this isn't original
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5 pizzas ? that'll last me for 5 days not even kidding /skellyhere/
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>>36769591
someones having acid reflux!

When youre in a relatively unquiet space of ambient sound like the rear of a moving bus.

The sound of the ac/engine/hydraulics make for an indefinite blanket of sound.

You can actually speak at shoulder-shoulder volume without people in arms reach hearing what you are saying.

Sometimes I practice speaking in these enviroments.

Sure i'm talking to myself technically but its still talking.
Talking ia different than whispering.

I also like to sing a bit in these sound blankets.

Can I explain to you why?
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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We are robots, child. We are all connected.
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I just talk to myself when i'm alone. It's actually quite nice. Feels like thinking but loudly
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>>36769619
>>36769633
Yes yes its cool its like.

Ill sing something like perfect day or maybe happy together.

And someting amazing happens.

I know I sound like complete shit maybe.

But heres the delusion.
I hear the song PERFECTLY in my head.

AND whilr hearing it I make mouth sounds called "words" thst the normal ones do.

Two bonuses.

None of the normal ones can hear me.
Thrse public words are real.
Im saying thrm.
Im saying thrm for me.

No one else caree or hears so its okay.

But since they are real words and In my minds ear I hear thr song perfect. WHILE makong mouth words.

I can really genuinely feel like im hitting the notes all perfectly. Every tonr.

How can I explain this.

As a failure naturally.

To feel like I am an amazing singer to actually loophole myself into believing it.

Its like a hack.
I KNOW i sound bad as a fact and opinion.

But the fact is I hear it perfect but I am talking with it and STILL hear it pwrfect.

Do uou undetstand?

Please?

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HOW DO I STOP WANTING TO BE A GIRL?
PLEASE HELP
15 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36769573
It's really horrible but you don't. It only gets worse as you get older too.
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>>36769573
You know you can get a manly man to love you and make you feel like a girl right? Or are you one of those meme "uhhh i wanna be a gorl but i like gorls too" transbian autogynephiliac retarded motherfuckers?
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>>36769645
please don't bring agp and hsts and all that cancer to /r9k/

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reminder that if you exclude men who are not sexually active, the average penis size is 7.2x5.4 inches
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
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If you exclude the white boys among them, the average size is 9*6 inches.
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>>36769564
ehhh, not all black dudes are huge, I knew a black dude in highschool and he was barely seven inches
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>>36769535
I'm sexually active and 5.5 inches

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> be me
> everyone at uni watching and talking about 13 reasons why
> watch the first episode
> cant even get through the first 20 minutes
> heres the rundown :
> psychopath stacy whore kills self
> thinks she so important that she leaves behind tapes
> she has sex with two chads one is the main character
> he keeps listening to this whores voice and all the tapes
> she thinks she so goddamn important that she leaves "le depressed teen" clues all over
> basically just a normie drama about chad and stacy problems
> parties and sex and """teen angst"""
> only beta and possible robot in entire series is the kid who takes pictures with the camera
How are we supposed to relate to this none of us ever had sex in highschool or college and if we ever went to parties we either hated it or never where invited in the first place.
Even in fake universes i want to see that fake school shot up
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Why is this shit a thing
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>>36769630
I dont know but i hate it
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I just dont get why teens these days suddenly think their adults the adult world is horrible i cant wait till these little shits get into the real world and face reality

ITT: Post a character that is literally you.
7 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>Otaku Convention can get a gf and I can't
What happened that made me such a fuckup
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>>36769413
>yfw it is literally you personified.
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>>36769612
you're literally lain?

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The 4 for $4 from Wendy's is one of the best fast food deals if not THE BEST fast food deal.

You get a drink, a small fries (they actually put a lot of fries in these), 4 piece chicken nuggies, and a burger... all for $4!!!
I had one yesterday and it was absolutely delicious! Wendy's uses never frozen beef patties that are higher quality than the competitors!
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36769152
Except it's fucking gross. There's a lot of fries but they're closer to cafeteria potato wedges than golden crispy salty fries. 4 chicken nuggets? Lmao. They're not even good chicken nuggets. They're fishy tasting. The burger is a tiny thin piece of shit with cheap nasty cheese. I can't really disparage the drink. Idk about the other items they have on the menu but the 4 for 4 sucks.
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>>36769152
I like Wendy's but I don't really like the 4 for $4. I'd rather spend a few extra dollars or go without to be honest.
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>>36769193
This. Especially the cheese part. Everything wendy's makes tastes horrible beacuse of the shitty cheese they put on things.

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>go to buy chinese food
>make order and sitting at a table waiting
>only person there
>black girl comes in, about middle school aged
>she orders some food
>she apparently doesn't have enough money
>she comes up to me and asks to borrow $2
>look at her and say "don't have any."
>she begs me and says she's hungry
>say no and ignore her
>she leaves me angrily
>food ready and leave
>walking home
>black girl runs up to me and snatches my bag away from me
>she's too slow though and grab her shirt and pull her back
>she trips on the ground
>hurts herself badly on some glass
>she's bleeding all over the pavement
>she starts sobbing
>people looking at the scene in shock
>panic and grab remains of food and run away
>feel kind of guilty
Am I a bad guy..?
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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No.
It's a statistical fact that criminals who fail to get away with their early attempts at crime have a much higher chance of giving up the crime life early. You did a good thing.
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Fuck no anon! Fucking ape deserves it. She was about to steal your food.
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Should have pissed on her and laughed in her face.

How come online dating is so awful nowadays?
67 posts and 13 images submitted.
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>>36768947
We live in an age way pleasure is the highest form of status and since love and dating requires sacrifice, it is seen as an oppressor. Sex is what matters most to these people.
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Because OP is a faggot.
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>>36768947
>nowadays
It was always shit. It just seems worse because now even the ugly women have the self esteem of a 10/10.

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All you shitposters, meet Lenny.

This man right here, is what you call a robot.
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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he gives black trannies rusty trombones

and lets them fart, shit, and piss on him

How is that a robot?
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Nah, he's just a dirty /pol/tard who's too lazy to clean his own house, get his gut checked out by a doctor, and do full range of motion lifts
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>>36768860
He's slayed more boipucci than

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Hi r9k, I'm a 23 year old virgin robot and I have had phimosis for all of my life. It made it painful to have sex (what I really mean is masturbate) and it was incredibly embarrassing. Because of this I rejected most of the people that have had a romantic interest in me. But, things get worse..

For the past several years I have had pain in my dick, as well as strange bumps froming on the shaft as well as the head.

I didn't think much of this at first but eventually I got worried enough to go see a urologist.

After doing some testing the doc told me that I have a rare condition called BXO and It has caused cancer to develop on my glands.

My options are extremely invasive surgery that will essentially remove my entire dick, or I can chose to do nothing and live for about another 5 years.

I'm fucked no matter what I do. Tell me, why does god hate me?

What should I do?
39 posts and 5 images submitted.
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become a tranny

opt to have your balls removed too

you still have your prostate, baby girl
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Fucking bump for gods sake.
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>>36768943

Not an option because I'm not a faggot but also I'm pretty manly, facial hair and all.

Honestly I might buy myself a 12 guage and blow my brains out.

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I really need a blowjob to start my day off right!
31 posts and 15 images submitted.
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>>36768792

How big is that 4 inches? Maybe 5?

Tbh senpai gtfo this isn't a place for dicklets like you.
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>>36768933
It's a good 6.5"-7"
To be honest this isn't a place for dirty niggers like you
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>>36768792
pls be my tummy bf? also
>>36768933
nice dubs but black cock looks disgusting desu

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ive posted this before. no one gave me an answer.
so here i am asking the same thing
>WHY THE FUCK AM I A ONETIS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I DONT HAVE BAD FACIAL GENETICS
IM JACKED
IM NOT FAT
I DONT HAVE AN ACNE ISSUE
IM MILDLY FUNNY
I JUST CANT TALK OR MAKE JOKES AROUND THE FOREMAN GRILL I WANT HELP
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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because you spend your time on R9K and talk like that and probably think the world owes you shit.
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i meant why the fuck cant i acquire my onetis
not why am i an onetis
im high sorry
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>>36768768
face looks poorly developed from the front

i bet your profile is subhuman


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