Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6084. page

Here I am bumping my own damn thread. HELP ME FFS!! Any advice! Even if you don't know wtf to do!

>>36632662
lucky

why dont u be grateful for what you have. why do u want a kiss so bad CSREKREEEEE

>>36632725
She's gunna get bored anon! I'm barely holding her interest as it is. If I don't move things forward, im absolutely dicked. I have to do it right though, not sperg out and just throw my mouth forward at her

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>>36632630
Something I recommend is trying to go back to sleep immediately, sometimes when I do that the dream continues. If you don't fall asleep quickly give up though, only works if I can fall asleep within about a minute.

It's probably not good to vicariously live through dreaming but hey, at least it's not drugs, right?

>go to sleep
>in dream, call mother and ask if she can bring me a sandwich and cookie from the store since I can barely go outside anymore without having a panic attack and am very hungry
> She says yes, I am very happy
>wake up
>realize it was all a dream, start to cry

Dreaming about any other type of social interaction is too farfetched for even my dreams now.

>>36632630

That's a good sign, its saying go out more enjoy life and youll be sitting next to a qt soon! DO IT

>>36632605
like pic related, but I have them. Also don't have floppy gorilla tits like pic related.

Ewww wtf, plz tell me that's a pathetic faggot on hormones

>>36632652
I MEANT *SHAVE

>>36632567
You silly goose all you need is a bit of testosterone to perk you right up.
Life isn't necessarily about leaving your proverbial urine mark, but rather how you spend your time getting there.
Find happiness robro, find it or die trying. Don't go out like a pussy without a fight. Reality is making you it's bitch and you need to stand up for yourself for once in your life and kick reality's ass until you're so deep into your own delusions that you can achieve the impossible

21 is a bad age to decide this bud.

>I feel I wont even do that so at this stage in the game.

Hey bud, I'm 32, my life is and has been hella shit, and I'm still going to make an attempt to right it this year, and if I fail, I'm going to try again.

Your twenties, your thirties, your forties, can be anything.

The thing you think is important now, you wont even care about in 5 years, you'll be interested in something completely different.

Don't make a permanent end during a bad bump in your life.

If the 40 year old that could be if you stay alive could appear before you he would beg you not to do this and throw away all that will be.

>Im wasting food, time, space etc for no reason.

You're not wasting anything, that's not how the world works. Just existing doesn't need a purpose, doesn't need to be justified.

And you're worthwhile, even if you don't think so.

>>36632563
I love it until I find Chad hiking behind me with Stacy and feel like shit.

>>36632563
I love hiking and being alone in nature but often times I find myself wishing I had a friend or gf to be there with me

>>36632629
Thats a nice picture

yeah i like nature. Flowing water always seems to center me, or rain. I love the rain man

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That's the trick, anon.

Don't wear PJs.

what kind of pjs

>>36633076
a red shirt that is one size bigger than what I wear
and some halo pajama bottoms that I cut and made into shorts

>>36632513
Kill buggo.

Looks obese. Fattys get out.

>>36632528
i would hug it but not to tightly or closely. I don't need to feel exoskeleton through bug fuzz. but I won't be mean to a monster girl.

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>>36632458
>9/10 girl literally ignores my existence because just acknowledging me would be detrimental to her social standing.

haha okay stacy sorry to bother you

>>36632458
>girl looks at you
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
GTFO MY BOARD

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>>36632489

>ew don't talk to me, creep!

>>36632453
does she stink

>>36632453
I'm 33 and I've never had a gf before.

How do I get a gf too?

>>36632453
Are you black?
What do her parents think of you, if applicable?
How do you get a black gf? Black women are my preferred variety.

They are OK if they make a lot of money.

>>36632405
>I'm 5'5"
>AND FAT

You're fucked man. Your "handsome" face doesn't matter at this point.

You're short and you're fat. Besides, I highly doubt a short fat fuck has a handsome face.

Stop being delusional.

Any fatter than that man and its a no. I also kinda like chubbier men so thats my thing. I don't mind short guys because I'm short. id say anything under 5'5 is unacceptable though but it all depends on the circumstances.

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>religions that condemn sexual desire and make things even worse for people

Refusing to acknowledge your lust will just have it build up. It's like hunger or thirst. You can't ignore it, hoping it goes away. You masturbate so that you don't snap and do something you'll regret even more, you dunce.

That said, I heard raping children was a thing amongst you guys.

Jokes aside, I still can't fucking understand why a religion would condemn something natural. How preposterous. Good luck christianbot. Have fun repeating your cycle of "giving in/self-hatred"

>>36632304
dude take showers lmao
it's not that hard, you keep doing because it's a habit
just do something else

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>>36632304
Hi fellow Christianon.
Protip in stop masturbating: think of what leads to you doing it and subtract those things from your routine. I used to jerk off a lot if I took my phone to the bathroom but leaving it outside helps.
Don't forget that even if you sin, God realizes you're trying and if you ask for forgiveness he will love you.

A girl just called you 'daddy' and you are autistic about it?

Maybe she means that she feels so strongly for you that she feels as if she had no other choice but stay with you. You should really give us more context though.

>>36632320
The shit doesnt matter. Im a fucking LAST OPTION. LAST RESORT.

Thats like winning the fucking participation trophy.

>"lol lil dude, you didnt even make the top 20 men but here you go since you triee"

I try and try and try and all I ever get is women I DONT WANT I WANT THE BEST WHY CANT I FUCKING HAVE IT. I DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO GET IT AND I STILL DONT

>>36632289
They are liars

>>36632386
he's the liar

>circumcised
>beautiful

Don't be a pussy. Join the Marines

>>36632250
no I failed MEPS for fucking up the duck walk. I would definitely join if I wasn't such a pussy, it seems like a good way of giving you some perspective on life

>>36632250
Navyfag here. Getting out in 6 months.

Completing my 5 year contract. Can't say I care too much for it, but it did help me get my life together and now I have options.

Your mind has atrophied due to your many years of inactivity and NEETdom

>>36632174
Because you've spent too long on /r9k/

The key component of humor is surprise; that's why a joke is less funny the second time

You've become too analytical regarding normie culture. You're an outsider, so instead of viewing it as something to be experienced you view it as something to be studied, and the result is that none of it can surprise you anymore.

In fact the only people at all that can you surprise you anymore are equally jaded, equally cynical outcasts. Enter /r9k/. If you're a young man who, simply put, has failed to meet the expectations society puts on young men, this place can be a safe haven for you.

Then, lurking here, for the first time you start seeing jokes that surprise you again.

Who the fuck could have predicted the Bogandoff jokes? Who could even have predicted the existence of those twins to begin with?

You're surprised again, and that allows you to stumble onto a joy you haven't known in a long time.

Source: I am projecting all my psychological issues onto you. Also one time I read the wikipedia page on Asperger's

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Because it's easier to subconsciously perceive them as "different" from normal humans (i.e. superhuman) because their faces look fucking insane. You can tell just from looking at them that they're very weird people, but the idea that their eccentricity makes them better than us? Pretty funny.

tl;dr it's funny to imagine that these two are only pretending to be retarded