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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5583. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>jerk off
>can't pee for 30 minutes
>finally do and it feels good
>after urine is gone, penis burns and hurts for another 30 minutes
11 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36903653
...thats uh...thats really not normal you should see the doctor
>>
>>36903653
Congratulations, you got syphilis.
>>
>piss immediately after nut
>feels amazing like a 30 second long secondary nut

Your dick is broken or something

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Anyone eIse here get vagina envy?

l don't think l actually want to be a woman, but I look at my dick and just wish l had a vagina sometimes. I hate having a refractory period. I wish l could have multiple orgasms. Good sex and masturbation just seem so much more pleasurable for women it makes me depressed... lt feels like bioIogy and my body have betrayed me.
46 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36903603
l push my fingers into my AAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
>>
>>36903603
do r9k a favor and stop making these shitty threads faggot
>>
>>36903603
I don't blame you. Being female is living on easymode

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>fembot adds me on discord
>pretty shy and autistic, think nothing of it
>ask if she wants to watch movies
>we watch movies
>she tells me shes 14

WHY
GET OFF MY FUCKING BOARD YOU FISHER PRICE ROASTIES EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
37 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>36903601
>FISHER PRICE ROASTIES
kek. good thread
>>
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>>36903601
>fisher price roasties

Absolutely pop kek my friend
>>
>>36903601
sounds like she has a nonexistant dad

maybe you couldve watched blue clues with her

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Judge slowly
Accept quickly
We do not murder
We do not exile,

Is there any such thing as true love?
From Quarks to Quasars
Someone must have thought of it.

ITT:We ask questions what would (that) make up the test of whether 2 people have true love?!!!??
is there a ready test?
What are the measurements?
What are the requirements?
What is the measuring apparatus?
What are the measurements?
What questions do we ask?
Would anyone else know?
Our lives in the land of time can be rewatched and remade by others, can anyone else see who's is who's true love?
Will this test if reposted create the infinitely eternal question and answer it?
How does one listen to the heart?
is it a sound?
does it make a sound?
Has it been quiet all this time?

Detective work

Do you just follow the clues?
How many clues do you think there are?

I've got no clue ._.

>*never agreeing with each other that, which, what are the clues 10/5/2017 Sydney, Australia.
25 posts and 6 images submitted.
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past me doesn't know shit, it's the future me, that knows everything.
>>
Politeness is a form of Love.
>>
Politeness is a Love Form.

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Anyone ever dated a girl who was raped before? I just found out the girl I'm with was apparently raped by some (really) old guy. Not sure how to feel about this. Now every time I get with her all I'm going to be thinking about is some sweaty 60 year old dude flailing on her with his flaccid chode. Any ideas?
35 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36903563
>dating raped girls

my man please dont
>>
>>36903563
Don't believe it man don't believe it
>>
Raped by a really old guy. How did his dick even work? This seems like bait anon we need more details.

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>applied to 3 IT assistant positions on campus today
>also applied to dollar general, little caesars, sheetz, michaels, foot locker, Harris teeter
>tfw i know none of them will even give me a response.

how is the job hunt going now that uni is out fellow robots?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Why'd you apply to SHIEEET? Are you a Tyrone?
>>
>>36903567
because they are hiring.
>>
>>36903401
don't worry there's something for everyone.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhgsFCy2uvY

This music just spells out "d e s p a i r"

I thought it was fitting this board quite well.

Do you guys have any particular comfy music like this that you believe just fits this board?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36903380
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-NBHeyY3mO4
>>
>>36903380
have you listened to the slowed down version of this? or the "stopwatch" version I should say. like 20 times better
>>
>>36903692
also might as well contribute https://youtu.be/H3SJXHotE1Y

I'm uglier than you and I got 4 girls on snapchat to send me pictures of their tits, one of them even even fingered herself on cam for me.

Quit being such a pussy and just grind fucking dating sites until you level up and get some nudes.

Pic related
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>snapchat
That is a normie app get the fuck off of my board i bet if you thought you were ugly i would terrify you.
>>
god frowns upon the arrogant who laugh at the starving of the soul. im talking about filth like you, op
>>
>>36903377
I'd rather have a loving relationship than try to get girls to do that to me.

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>The only reason you fap isnt for the high while you are doing it, and instead is the few minutes of clarity you get afterwards where you realize just how much of a prison your flesh is


My skin feels too tight...

Hit me up with those comfy pics and music famalamily
10 posts and 6 images submitted.
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Any of yall gone on a /nightwalk/ recently?
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Daily reminder you live for those small aesthetic moments and everything else is a drain on your life
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>>36903404
every fucking day. at like 3am, 11pm, 5am, whenever. i cant stand going outside with normies and their dogs and other bullshit

i just sit there on the bench and space out for like 20-30~ minutes. usually cars slow down behind me but what can i do

26 kv neet fuck life fuck everything actually. so tilting, just getting spat on in the face. makes me feel like detesting god completely

/r9k/ when has the universe given you signs that you should just end it all right now

>decide to try to stop being a piece of shit
>see if therapy will help
>go to therapist
>after a few sessions she says that she isn't sure she's the right fit for me, recommends me to another therapist
>go to that one
>go for a few months
>he eventually says he doesn't see how he can help me
>doesn't offer me a recommendation, basically just says "sorry anon i'm just not sure it would be worth your time and money to continue"
>find another therapist on my own
>start going to sessions
>he just told me he's at a loss for how to help me
>not dropping me as a patient but strongly recommends i shop around for someone who can "better help"
21 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36903342

What's your problem son
>>
>>36903504
depressive anxiety
no motivation
cognitive distortions manifesting in a basically unmovable defeatist attitude
no gf
>>
>>36903554

And when did it start

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Why haven't you gotten a belly/braphog gf?
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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braphog is unironically my favorite word to come out of r9k
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>>36903289
her little belly is cute, would gf
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>>36903289
I fucking hate this place so god damn much

RIIIINNNGGG!!!!
You know what time it is!
Where the fuck are you going to sit today?
HARD MODE: No library or bathroom
69 posts and 16 images submitted.
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>>36903241
>bottom right
what's going on there?
>>
>>36903241
The hallway in a part were no one goes or sneak out side
>>
>>36903241
Wherever my friends are sitting.

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>be me in 9th grade
>sitting alone outside
>get ready to eat my lunch
>extreme urge to piss
>bathroom is literally 10 feet away
>leave stuff on the table to take a piss
>come back to see 4 stacies sitting around my shit
>they were really hot cheerleaders
> walk over to get my stuff and lunch because i'm a beta and was just gonna let them sit there
>"exuse me I just need to get my stu-"
> they all look at me with disgust
>the one closest to my stuff screams
>EWWWWWW WHAT THE HELL GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM US LIKE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING
>"i-i-i just need to get my things"
>they all literally throw my suff as far as possible
>my lunch is on the concrete
>my ipod cracked
>my spare glasses are cracked
>they laugh at me while i'm picking up my shit
>turn beat red
>can't hold back tears
>"omg god are you crying "
>*intense laughter *
>pick my stuff up
>call dad tell him i'm sick
>go home
>cry because I couldn't understand why they did the things they did

I have 1 more story
20 posts and 6 images submitted.
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That's not real though right? That didn't actually happen?
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>>36903322
not OP but that's totally normal you normie
have you never been to a public school?
>>
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>>36903322
Yes it is the reason im a robot today

This and when my sisters friends spread a rumour about me which made everyone think i was a Creepy stalker

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>tfw all you wanna do is play monster hunter with friends but you have no friends who play monster hunter generations.
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36903200
but anon, MHG is garbage
>>
>>36903200
Hello Anon. I hope you like people who are shit at video games.

4425 - 1487 - 1158
>>
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>tfw all you wanna do is play monster hunter with friends but you have no friends

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Ok i need some help brothers, here's some context.

>My brother goes to a club after school and i walk him down to his friends mom who agreed last week to drive him there and back

>his friend has a sister the same age as me who's pretty cute.

>she wanted me to walk around with her a few times about 3ish years ago and used to take pictures of me when i wasn't paying attention.

Would it be creepy/weird to ask her if she wants to go out to eat/whatever 3 something years later after not speaking to her since and now i've suddenly shown up to drop off my brother last week.


this could be my ticket out of robot-hood boys
23 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>36903112
it wouldn't be weird. just don't ask immediately. by that I don't mean wait a few days I mean don't jump the gun as soon as you talk to her or it will be kind of weird and when you ask say something along the lines of "wanting to catch up"
>>
>>36903257
The thing is though is that im at their door for literally a less than a minute, should i try ask if i can sit down for bit or something along those lines?
>>
>>36903112
yeah but do it with 0 pretext of romance, or even friendship

in fact, look as apathetic as possible. irritated even

also post pics


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