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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1568. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

Is this a good show to watch?

I'm currently watching the first episode and the way they explain everything that's going on is irritating me. Do they stop that?

The main character speaks to me. I'm a robot with social anxiety that works in cyber security.
35 posts and 4 images submitted.
Do you have a hot female drug dealer who also fucks you?
We all know it doesn't work like that.
its the only tv show or movie i have watched in 10 years so i am not glorifying it but i liked it.

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Today is my birthday and I slept for 14 hours, then spent the rest of the day browsing /r9k/

Say something nice to me
36 posts and 5 images submitted.
Oh you're still alive?
Fuck you faggot no one cares
>14 hours
you must be a viking

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>tfw I'm a 30 year old man in bed watching this in the dark while tearing up

7 posts and 3 images submitted.
if u dont wanna tear up stop listening to it u dummy just go to thailand and pick up some poon there.
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I don't just want some "poon".

I want to be gently caressed by a woman who loves me while laying with me softly stroking my face, ears and kissing me softly everywhere.

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Have you dashing gentleman embraced the superior porn genre that is chicks with dicks?

>but anon...das gay
Nope. You are confusing girls with dicks with men wearing wigs and dresses. Only the latter is gay.
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>um...I'm not convinced yet
Ok fine this will convince you robot have a good day
"There are no chicks with dicks. There are men with tits" - Some Anon from /b/
>Some Anon who stole a line from a shit movie

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Hey guys.

Any freshmen going to ECSU this year?

I hate having a roommate, so I might as well have one that shares some common interests.

>inb4 goto /soc/
Already going to post there, but I'd prefer a robot.

And just to make this thread kosher, any tips for a robot going away to college?

God I hate the spam bot.
17 posts and 3 images submitted.
You posted this earlier. Fuck off no one goes to this shit school
Dude I just don't wanna be stuck with some normie fag for a year
Going into my senior year at Eastern


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>people are actually having sex right now
>your female coworkers are moaning their boyfriends name right now
>that cute older neighbor has her legs wrapped around her husband right now
>those teenage girls are discussing who fucks chad first
>that cute random girl you passed has completely forgot about you while you still think about life with her is currently setting up a fuck date with some guy on tinder right now
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
>people are having sex when they should be advancing their careers and studying

whats with you and sex?
t. A nineteen year old Asian first year university student who wants to be an "engineer"

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It'd be called: "Trapped in the friendzone", and it would be about this girl who refers to her vagina as the friendzone because that's where she likes to "trap" her friends and it's about one friend desperately trying to escape the friendzone.
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
Post more vore nigga

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does she shrink her friends and put them in her vagina? Or does the vagina just clamp down on the penis and they're just awkwardly attached by the genitals

What experience makes you regret being a beta fuck the most?

Mine just happened to me:
> biking home
> 9PM
> tard paralyzed old lady in a wheelchair on sidewalk with middle aged dude and a dog
> as im passing hear the tard old lady yelling "I... need.... help" and it sounds like shes crying
> turn around to investigate, maybe the guy is accosting her
> approach, everything seems fine at first glance
> "you guys okay?"
> guy says "we're good, you okay?"
> old lady is too disabled and retarded to indicate much of anything or realize I'm there
> "yup"
> guy says "you just checking in on us, or?"
> autism kicks in, worried I just overreacted, say "h-have a nice night" and leave
> get to house 5 minutes later
> thinking back on it again that lady pretty desperately and clearly said she needed help
> get in car and cruise by that street again
> they're nowhere in sight

Fuck, I feel terrible.
I know odds are the guy wasn't doing anything and is just her caretaker or something, but if he really was doing something shady I basically did nothing, I should've questioned him a little more
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
haha that sucks anon
The best thing you could have done is put that animal out of it's misery.
I fear coming in to situations like this because I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did what you did

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I pretend to be Christian but I know it's bullshit. It firstly makes my social life a bit easier, and secondly sometimes I like to pretend life actually has some kind of inherent meaning.

Does anybody else do this?
49 posts and 7 images submitted.
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Religion is way more complicated than people give it credit for. For most it's easier to just call it stupid and write it off.
I don't pretend to be anything, really. My religious status is pretty much ambivalent because I never talk about it. Secretly I believe in something but Christianity is bullshit.
Eventually you will come to understand the power of our Lord God and Christ our Savior.

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>tfw you'll probably die alone because you can't find the middle ground between misogynist robot and userous, manipulative chad
97 posts and 54 images submitted.
and the clock is ticking, dear.
are you the shy qt at the gym always looking stern faced and loner, yet keeps trying to sneak looks at me being gym chad?
Probably not. I don't go to the gym. I run instead, since I don't really like paying for something I can do for free.

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Rough day today for me /r9k/.

>come home from work
>have snack
>settle on couch for a short nap
>sharp rapping on door
>it's a nice police lady
>she says my upstairs neighbour is missing and have I seen him
>i say not since yesterday and he was well then is somewhat tired looking
>police lady asks me to call her back if I have any updates, then takes off
>i think about this for a few minutes
>call neighbour's cellphone
>no answer
>say fuck it, grab my emergency key for his place, go up there and check
>he's sitting on his couch
>some small amount of blood and foam around his nose
>frantically call emergency
>police lady is back in blink of an eye
>coroner comes
>no determination of cause at this time aside from medical (not drugs)
>suicide unlikely

First time I have ever seen a dead person. I dunno how to feel. Just shocked. I didn't know him well as he just moved in the month before. He had two kids.
29 posts and 3 images submitted.
pray its either untraceable or natural if you didn't actually do it, so the police dont have a chance to get lazy and just lump you in the suspects

Appeared to be natural. No i didn't do it jesus fucking christ.
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One time I saw an old gypsy woman laying on a bench, she seemed to be very rigid and was completely immobile.
I immediately thought she was a corpse and that made me jump. I was very scared but when got closed I realized she was breathing so it was really nothing.
I can tell you that seeing a corpse, or thinking you're in front of one is a bad experience.

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Any other robots have someone die in their life that they can't let go of. It's been 7 years since my older brother died but I still get sad about it even though everyone else is over him I can't get over it.
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
that's sad bro
I still dream about my dad coming home and sending me back to school.
He died 4 years ago
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Same. Sometimes I imagine I will be able to see my brother again one day if I keep on living.

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>be 27 year old KHH virgin me
>get job in education in desperate attempt to relive wasted youth
>identify alpha teenage girls I never had chance with in high school
>secretly record conversations I have with them
>listen to recordings every night as I drift to sleep pretending it's teenage me being emotionally connecting with these girls
>cry when I remember this is the closest I'll get to intimacy with another pure human being
14 posts and 10 images submitted.
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jesus christ. kill yourself but kill me first please.
ajnbcdoubna ajsbncja
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This. This is why I come here. No matter how fucked my life is, I know OP will be there to make me feel better about myself.

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ya era justo y necesario un hilo en nuestro idioma para poder compartir feels y estar comfy

de donde eres?
que te acongoja?
79 posts and 18 images submitted.
Mira Esto ninitaa
Siempre me cuesta escribir en ingles.
No lo entiendo, me quise quedar solo pero me siento vacio

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why am i crying
can someone take the pussy beta shit out of me please
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>why am i crying

I'm going to sleep now though
watch animal slaughterings and videos of bloody fight / death scenes: makes you stronger
die you stroke baby

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