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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1668. page

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Some of my neighbor's kids (don't know which ones) keeps coming into my backyard and cutting/slashing/burning my trees. What the fuck do I do r9k? How do I catch the bastards?
14 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38646154

put a camera up, idiot
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>buy one of those tree face things
>shoot them the next time they go near it
>claim defense of another

srsly though just run them off your property with a shotgun or something
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>>38646312
Yeah but how do I catch them though? The trees are in a blind spot of the house

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when I was younger (like 7 or 8) my sister would legitimately rape me. she's 5 years older and we would make out furiously, I would suck on her tits and shit. surprised she never made me fuck her.

made out with my other younger sister cause we slept in the same bed one night. was hot as fuck. same age.

anyone else /incestprone/?
37 posts and 12 images submitted.
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>>38646149
I have a half sister and every weekend we used to go to our pool and after we got bored and most of the family left we would make out.
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>>38646347
hot af how old were you
>>
me and my sister used to imitate porn we found on a used computer my mom bought me when were younger
ive wanted to go back into that territory with her for a long time now but ive never had the opportunity to do so since i don't live with her anymore
s o o n, though

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Do you have any personal lolcows?
People you like making fun of?

I have this guy, he's like 75 years old and makes videos almost everyday saying how much he hates video games and they are ruining children but he has no clue about them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDRbqeu4-cY
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38646107
I don't really need one as long as Darksydephil keeps fucking up
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>>38646107
I laugh at people here who are unironically autistic or otherwise mentally handicapped.
>>
no I don't I hate bullying and anything such
if you want anti bullying advice msg me at [email protected]

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There are LITERAL FEMALES on this board RIGHT NOW posting on the SAME threads as US.
10 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>38646000
nice trips
here's a scary baby
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ScArY bAbyyyy
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they must be masochists
i would never want a masochist gf

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How will you remember the past 5-10 years in 20 years?
17 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38645986

This is honestly the best visual representation.
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>why didn't i kill myself back then
>i could resting instead of suffering
>>
Lots of drinking, 4channing and sexual frustration.

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Do you ever get frustrated about being circumcised against your will?
I mean your orgasms are literally have as strong as they would be if you weren't.
239 posts and 30 images submitted.
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>>38645981
No because I wasn't circumcised against my will, sucks being you.
Just to confirm your suspicions, I can masturbate like cutfags do without the foreskin and it's simply worse, I would've masturbated a lot less had that been the only way to do it.
And my head isn't even cracked and calloused.
>>
i actually think i wouldnt jerk off as much if had foreskin, but maybe thats just wishful thinking.
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>>38645981
Never bothered me and never had any problems with orgasms either. The "sensitivity" thing is nothing but trolling too. Yeah, the skin that they're supposed to cut off is more sensitive but it's not a sexually stimulating sort of sensitivity. It's just sensitive.

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Female robots, Are you a feminist?
Why? Why not?
What are your thoughts on feminism in general?

Thank you in advance for your answers.
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38645926
suck my dick you cocksucking slut shut the fuck up faggot
>>
As in, believe men and women should be equal before the law and such? Sure.
As in, it is important to our cause that there's no tits in vidya anymore and Ghostbusters are suddenly fat negresses? No thanks.
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>>38645926
>female robots
anon stop

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>tfw no white master to own my black slave pussy
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38645900
You're a white man though anon....
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Why is that man sticking his wiener into poop?
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Sheboons cannot be fembots.

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>have a conversation with a normie
>dude i play destiny all day for 8 hours at a time
>wow dude you must really love it
>yeah man its fucking awesome
>tells me a story about one of his matches
>we both laugh
>tell him what i play
>cool
>i spent at least 2k hours over the years playing
>nice
>tell him a story
>just walks away without responding
>4min later he comes back
>so I was playing...
WHY DO I EVEN FUCKING TRY ANYMORE
ALL THEY WANT TO DO IS HEAR THEIR OWN VOICE AND TO VALIDATE THEMSELVES
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>>38645819
Normies' mentality is literally
>Me me me me me me me, did i forget to tell you about me ?
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>>38645819
>>38646064
>these autists not seeing the irony in their crying
This shit is why I keep coming back
>>
dude that's clearly what you want too, esp. from a normie apparently

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Even if you HAD a gf you wouldn't know what to do with it
14 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38645794
I'd ram my penis in her ass just like I'd do to you, fucking faggot
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>>38645814
>penis in butt instead of vagoo
>calling me a faggot
Keksimus maximus
>>
I mean what are you supposed to do when inevitably some Chad starts to hit on her? It will happen. Seeing as she was available to you, everyone else will have access to her, so it's only a matter of time.

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For all the virgins: Do you think a girl ever wanted to have sex with you?
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>>38645772
It's statistically likely, but then again I'm not delusional so I would say maybe
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>>38645772
multiple times.
the thing is i'm bad at getting hints so i missed every opportunity.
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>>38645772
Even my autistic self can safely answer "no".

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I want to kill myself by jumping in front of a train. I just wondered if there were any train enthusiasts around here who knew how to determine the location of a freight train. Do they run on regular schedules or do I just have to sit and wait for one to come. I live in a port town so I figure there will be plenty of freight trains coming and going, basically I just want to know the most reliable way to do this. I really wish there were some cliffs or tall buildings around here to jump off but there aren't so don't suggest I do that
53 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>38645769
just hang yourself moron
you'll be ruining some poor wagecuck's day when he has to clean up your shit after you become a mash of goo
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>>38645769
If you want to die by train simply search for a yard near you, or any tracks, then go there at night and write with a pen and paper when they come and go.
Find yourself a place where it's mostly straight and preferably has some fluff nearby, then simply wait for your ride to come.
When it comes simply wait for it to be close enough were you're spooked to run across and then lay down on the tracks or stand in front of it. The train will not stop for many minutes, so you'll be a stew before they can do anything.

I'd advise against trains though. Do something worthwhile.
If you want a less reliable and more painful way, if you're into that, just wait til the train is going past you quickly on a straight course, then run out of the bushes and jump towards the train. The air will suck you feet into the rails and you'll be pulled under and chopped up.
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Do it homosexual

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What's up, /r9k/, I'm a normie here to answer your questions about how life is for everyone else. I'm in a fulfilling relationship, getting laid regularly, and am graduating college debt-free this December. Ask me anything
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38645762
>implying getting parents to pay for your college is your own accomplishment
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Hi I can fly above you peasants and I'm really cool. Ask me anything.
>>
>>38645762
>>38645785
Wait, graduating in december? Hmmmmm

>carrying home 50 pound bag of chicken food, as well as other groceries
>when I get off the first bus, I realize I missed bus home by then minutes
>have to wait two hours for next one, wait at bus station
>because I don't want to walk around aimlessly with roughly seventy pounds of stuff, I doze off
>awoken by concerned police officer
>apparently some people across the street thought I was dying or something
>recognizing its hard for me to stay awake, he gives me an unbelievable offer
>gives me three bucks for an energy drink at gas station on the corner, and offers to watch my stuff while I'm in there
>thank him profusely, end up getting a rockstar punched
>try to give him change, he says I can keep it
>tells me to have a nice day

Why are people nervous around police officers? Maybe it's because I'm in a small town, but almost every single one I've met has been friendly.
14 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38645697
Only niggers are afraid of cops. And thats because they always break the law.
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>>38645697
Because when they're coming FOR you rather than for you they are not like that at all.
You got a nice one in a small town who felt pity for you.
That's rare.
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>>38645697
because they were being illegal bad boys and they whine when they get caught

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>meet girl on tinder
>she's adorable
>likes Zelda and otherwise video games
>likes all the music I like
>dances, so you know she has a 9/10 body by default
>has a voice like Jessica Rabbit

>find out she has tattoos
>my heart and boner instantly deflate
>she keeps bugging me every day and I invent contrived excuses for why I don't want to hang out with her
>don't even play Overwatch because she has me on Battlenet and I don't want her to see I'm online

What is it about a marking on your skin that completely devalues everything else about you?

I mean I can give some good reasons but this seriously just kills any and every interest to me. I wouldn't even have known if she didn't tell me, but no mas. Fuckin hell.
20 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38645662
If tattoo is pic related then ditch her.
But anyway OP is a fagot. Not getting a 9 just because she has tattoos is retarded.
>>
There is just something about having tatooes that feels to me like you're trying to add value to your body when intrinsically your body has already no other value than just existing, and sex.

Someone who has tatooes, to me, seems to be not only someone who values their body too much for the wrong reason, but also has a lazy way to show it.

Also, to get a tatoo, you must have this idea of yourself being unchanging and always true to what you thought when you got the tatoo, which is short sighted horseshit most of the time, although it could prove true.

And lastly, esthetically, it's just a dark mark on the body, while the fuck would you like someone who looks like they have been branded by god for being gigantic fuckboys.
>>
i agree, ask if she's a virgin and then dump if not though you can always get tatoos removed


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