How do i gain weight? I've ate an entire pizza and 2 hotdogs yesterday and havent gain anything. How do you fatties do it?
>>38820089
just b urself and calories out calories in
>>38820089
Make them extra large and eat more than one meal for fucks sake
>>38820089
You don't eat that once a week. You eat that amount every day. Then double it, plus add multiple bottles of sweet drink. That's how fatties do it. Don't forget multiple servings of desert and snacks.
>Pretend to be a girl on A Realm Reborn: FFXIV (Mi'qote)
>Strategy has worked like a charm since FFXI. Get lots of free items, help with quests, etc.
>Meet girl while doing Syrcus Tower run
>Become her best friend and do mining, quests, hunting, storyline together
>Things begin to heat up and suddenly develop feelings for one another
>Jerk off by lifting my bed and fucking the slit in between my mattresses.
>Relationships goes on over the course of several months
>Messages me in-game and tells me we need to talk
>Turns out she's a guy pretending be a girl online
>We're two guys who've been ERPing lesbian sex
>One day, my mom and dad catch me in the middle of "the act"
>Embarrased as hell
>Even getting up to get food from the fridge is awkward as fuck
>Three days later, my mom and dad have me sit down for a talk
>"Champ, your mother and I have been talking, and we think it'd be best if you went outside more and got a job. We're not kicking you out of the house, and we aren't mad, Champ. But we are cutting your online game subscription, and you can do whatever you want with your own money once you start making it."
>"B-but you--"
>"No buts, Champ. Get dressed and meet me in the car. I'm driving you around town to look for a job, and I'm not taking no for an answer. Remember to go into each place we stop and ask for the manager. Stand up straight, look him in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you wanna work there. It's that simple, Champ."
>MFW
>>38820065
Only one way left sorry bud.
OP is crossing the memes.
>>38820065
Include me in the screencap, /r/4chan.
>Not original
>have gf that thinks I love her and am going to marry her
>tell her I do and that she is perfect for me
>I really find her average looking and am just using her for sex until I get a better girl
>couldn't care less if she died
>would like my parents to die so I can get their inheritance
>would not even feel bad if I killed them
>would gladly torture and kill even my good childhood friends just for fun if I could
The funny thing is everyone I know thinks I am a nice guy even though deep down I am a ruthless monster
>do you work in mergers and acquisitions?
>are you trying to listen to the new robert palmer tape but your gf keeps buzzing in your ear?
>>38820006
I have a bf and he's the best match I could ever hope for but I feel like if he died I wouldn't be sad, just lonely again. I feel afraid to even think about it, as if thinking it would destroy what we have.
Even my aunt, who pretty much raised me and I enjoyed being around as a kid. I just wouldn't feel anything I she died and it annoys me when people DO get upset over someone dying.
>>38820006
>deep down I am a ruthless monster
No you're not you fat pussy. A lot of people have those thoughts in there heads. The difference is the real crazy people actually do it. You're just an edgy fuckboy. I know this is probably bait, but a lot of retards here actually think like this.
>Balding and not cute looking
>Big butt, thick thighs, wide hips
>Enjoy being a househusbando and doing meido things
tfw I'll never be cute looking
I'm balding too, anon.
>just shave it man lmao dude
No, I look even worse with no hair.
>>38820352
Ikr, I'd rather keep it short than be bald. I might look into wigs eventually.
>>38820403
I bought 2 bottles of horse shampoo. People say it can slow down hair loss.
who /jakepaul/ here? where my /jakepaul/ brothers at?
You're doing it wrong unless you're gonna use /jakepaul/ers
>>38819940
>you will never be a washed up literal who Disney star binge spending his Disney dosh to fund and shill (((viral))) videos
Oh CRUEL world why?!?!
>>38819940
JAKEPAULERS IN THE HOUSE
DAB ON THE HATERZ
i want to leave the house but im caged in it im sitting in fear thinking about going past people and being looked at
>>38819934
I was like you during too many years
What are they going to do OP? Make fun of you for being different?
>>38819934
don't go outside anon. it's a bad place. people will look at you and laugh, think bad things... don't do it. i regret ever trying
Robots prepares Columbine the sequel
>>38819927
Include me in the screenshot pls CNN!
OP is alt-right leader Sam Hyde btw
Holocaust was fake
>>38819927
Is this the neo nazi Anthony Fantano at it again? Wonder what the madman had planned.
How does one persuade another person into going on a mass killing?
I'll be heading down to Tijuana in a few days to fuck some hookers, and I plan to covertly cause a pregnancy. Any Advice? This is my plan:
>will ask for anal and uncovered blowjob upfront
>will throat fuck her and cum down her throat
>pull out
>wipe the little bit of cum dribble off my dick
>fuck her ass
>stick my cum covered finger in her pussy
Has anyone here ever tried something like this? Do you think I will be discovered? Will I get in major shit if I am?
Feel free to do so if you're not white.
>>38819905
Firstly, why do you want to cause a pregnancy?
Secondly, I'm pretty sure sperm die almost right away when exposed openly to the air and it's not warm enough for them. Basically, you're gonna have to pretty much cum inside her most likely.
>>38819931
>if i'm not white
What did he mean by this?
>>38819973
>why
to live forever, of course.
>pretty sure sperm die from air
I'm pretty sure they don't. Going to take a shower right now, I'll be back and hopefully have some not troll responses soon enough.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4754914/Where-good-men-gone.html
Really gets the noggin joggin.
>>38819900
Dayum r9k where are yo
>>38819900
>These sassy
That's enough. If someone is sassy and thinks that's a positive quality, they should be aiming somewhat lower than a good man.
>>38819900
It's because their standards are too high.
It's because the western world is toxicified against men.
It's because men can have waifu's and frequent various flavors of whores.
It's because the world really isn't worth living in and really for a women to be single past 25 is just as pathetic as a 30 year old male virgin.
Well GNNUUUULLLLFFF...
>>38819862
ZLAMBL VLOMP
AT LEAST I WILL GO DOWN AS A BIG OL' NIGGER
TWO SCOOOOOOPS
DINGBALD KLUNDF
My sister just sent this to me. What did she mean by this?
You already made this post earlier. Fuck off.
>>38819859
Print the picture, cum on it and send her an image. Post results.
very rarely does ris has an accurate title rofl
>>38819909
if you're on chrome, right click the image and click s. the internet is hard to navigate but you'll get the hang of it eventually
Quite certain I posted this as a thread two nights ago or whatever, but I'm currently contemplating suicide and just want someone to talk to. Not even about death or suicidie or why, just some casual human contact would be nice.
how about some info about you first? how old are you, what do you do, what are your dreams, why is your life garbage and why cant you run away from it etc
>>38819855
If all you want is to talk, then partake in an actual ongoing thread, rather than making your own "special snow flake talk to me" thread.
>>38819960
if this pushes off another fembot thread thats fine by me
Comfy thread general, but also I made a website to share comfy photos. It should be up 24/7
http://comfyarchives.ddns.net/
also heres a pretty comfy song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PMqzN4mn4c
Nothing more comfortable than winter
agagkahugkaug
ekfhlaihflaifakhf
How does one get into exercise?
I don't want gym.
Convict Conditioning
>>38819831
I don't know how to do a pushup and don't want to waste my time with bad form.
>>38819807
I've been doing 300 push ups a day to help stay in shape. I'm going to start running too even though I hate it.
Do you have any weird fetishes, r9k?
>scat, piss, farts, guro, anal vore
>>38819806
>Do you have any weird fetishes
Killing faggots like (you)
>>38819806
I have lots of weird fetishes
>>38819806
They're not fetishes, they're paraphilias.