Why don't you fuck a crayon, autist?
>>35862176
>his waifu is 3d
why dont you just fucking get laid autist
>>35862200
>mfw the crayon fucker gets mouthy
crayons aren't THICC enough for MY asshole
I live in a RV, have a BS in Liberal Arts, combat veteran, alcoholic, jobless, father of two, no friends, disowned my own mother, 32 years old, felon, internet addict, and I have cuckold fetish (even let my wife fuck a stranger once). I have no hope.
Ask me anything.
post proof you are a felon
>>35862168
Sorry, I have no idea how to trip.
>father
>children
fuck right off
What would you think of a man who wears a custom made anime t-shirt with an image of his waifu and her name on the sleeve?
I do and some people look weird at me.
>>35862162
I do but I usually wear another shirt over it.
I wear it to the gym and work. Sometimes I wander around outside but I dont think people notice or care. I dont see many people or give them a good angle to look at me.
Post your shirt. I wear this one and want to order a few more
>>35862667
this is cool, i want this shirt
>>35862667
>mirai nikki
you should hang yourself
>the year is already a quarter over
>>35862072
>A little closer to death
Thank fuck.
>>35862072
>life is already probably more than a quarter over
i turned 25 a few days ago
>>35862126
I turned 25 this past January.Half way to 50, quarter of the way to death
>get called attractive during adulthood
>immediately think I'm being pranked, lied to or about to get bullied
Who /uglyduckling/ here
>>35862066
>the duck was literally a cuck raising a swan's offspring, despite it clearly looking nothing like her or her real children
>>35862111
SWANED
>>35862066
I feel these feels, it's like being punked.
Lets have a nice eye thread anons
Post your eye color
Rate share discuss
Datamining thread.
Post at your own risk anons.
>>35862039
>heterochromia
First post best post. I'll contribute mine again.
>>35862039
Nice eye, OP.
Aye? You've never seen a pair o tits before? And you're HOW old?! Fuckin ay! Ahahahah! W-Well cunt, we'd better fix that right up then! Just turn off yer blinkers for a sec, aaaaaaand...
HERE! BOING!
AHAHAHAHA! You look like a roo caught in 'eadlights! CRIKEY, mate! Th-Th-They're just a pair o' knockers, ya know! Do they really turn ya on THAT much?! G-Get yer binoculars on this, then! See how they jump about like a kangaroo! Jiggle jiggle! I-I bet you want to cop a feel of them too, don't you, Mr. Fuckin Dirty Mate?! G-Go right ahead! Bash these bush babies as much as you want! Take your bloody time! Bloody heck, wrap your chompers 'round em too! I know you wanna, cunt~! Just fukin watch yourself; my tits are stickin out right now! C-Can't imagine whyyyy...~! I-I-I-I-I-I bet you wanna see my cunt too! You dirty fucker! W-W-Well, the trains already left the station! Might as well! I'm not wearing knickers anyway!
S-S-S-So, what do you think? ...Well, I guess that bloody boner in your pants answers THAT question! HAHAHAHA! Y-Y-You're such a sad cunt, mate! I-I-I-I bet it's the first one you've seen since you slid out of yer mum! L-L-Look how wet it is, too! FUCKING STREUTH, it's so fuckin drenched! Fuckin flood season already! Look what you fuckin did, you shitcunt! Y-You sure know how to make a sheila all hot and bothered! Oh, my! CRIKEY! You'd better cop the fuckin blame for this! A-After all, when it's this wet, it's much easier to slide a fuckin snake up on in there! And Im leaking like an outdoor dunny! You'd better shove in your sausage RIGHT NOW!!
Hot. Post the not stupid version please.
>>35861915
Why does this make my peepee feel hard...
>>35861964
not OP but I gotcha mate
Aye? You've never seen a pair o tits before? And you're HOW old?! Fuckin ay! Ahahahah! W-Well cunt, we'd better fix that right up then! Just turn off yer blinkers for a sec, aaaaaaand...
HERE! BOING!
AHAHAHAHA! You look like a roo caught in 'eadlights! CRIKEY, mate! Th-Th-They're just a pair o' knockers, ya know! Do they really turn ya on THAT much?! G-Get yer binoculars on this, then! See how they jump about like a kangaroo! Jiggle jiggle! I-I bet you want to cop a feel of them too, don't you, Mr. Fuckin Dirty Mate?! G-Go right ahead! Bash these bush babies as much as you want! Take your bloody time! Bloody heck, wrap your chompers 'round em too! I know you wanna, cunt~! Just fukin watch yourself; my tits are stickin out right now! C-Can't imagine whyyyy...~! I-I-I-I-I-I bet you wanna see my cunt too! You dirty fucker! W-W-Well, the trains already left the station! Might as well! I'm not wearing knickers anyway!
S-S-S-So, what do you think? ...Well, I guess that bloody boner in your pants answers THAT question! HAHAHAHA! Y-Y-You're such a sad cunt, mate! I-I-I-I bet it's the first one you've seen since you slid out of yer mum! L-L-Look how wet it is, too! FUCKING STREUTH, it's so fuckin drenched! Fuckin flood season already! Look what you fuckin did, you shitcunt! Y-You sure know how to make a sheila all hot and bothered! Oh, my! CRIKEY! You'd better cop the fuckin blame for this! A-After all, when it's this wet, it's much easier to slide a fuckin snake up on in there! And Im leaking like an outdoor dunny! You'd better shove in your sausage RIGHT NOW!!
Has any of you robots been sexually assaulted in the past?
tfw my anus almost got raped by pajeet when i was 9
>was playing football with him and other kids
>most of us were 9-10 years old
>he was 16yo indian
>after all other kids returned to their homes it was only me and him left
>he tells me to stay with him and talk
>we were in a park and he suggestested that we go into a playhouse that kinda looks like pic related but smaller
>he starts talking about football or whatever
>his voice starts getting weird, like gasping, didn't realize it meant he was horny because i was 9yo lol
>he's groping my thighs, saying im really strong for my age
>at some point he was grabbing me by the waist still complimenting my body
>he sits me on his lap, it was starting to get very weird
>tried to get up but he was grabbing my waist hard
>starts lifting me up and down and stroking his hard dick through his pants with my ass basically
>i don't really understand what's going on so i follow
>then hear my dad calling me from a distance because it was late and they were looking for me cause they were worried
>hey it's my dad i gotta go bye
i didn't realize he was trying to fuck my shota ass until i was older.
I still see him sometimes, awkward as fuck. Would confront him about what happened but i don't want everybody knowing i was abused lmao.
Word spread around that about two years ago his friends unlocked his phone and read a text convo he had with a bulgarian retard (he was actually retarded), and it turns out that they were meeting to suck each others dicks.
I wasn't very surprised.
Actually the guy that told me about the rumour told me that pajeet had tried something sketchy with him too, but he was like 17yo at the time, he realised what was happening and escaped the situation.
>1989
>6th grade social studies
>mr estes talked down to me, refused to help me with homework, put me in detention for minor shit like sloppy handwriting on my homework
>had enough of me taking too long with an in-class assignment and snapped at me to stay after class
>after all the other students left, he grabbed me by the shoulder and took me into the supply closet
>where TVs on those carts were stored, also camcorders hooked up to VCRs
>mr estes was also a girls' junior varsity basketball coach
>he'd go into the girls' locker room while they were changing and no one complained or batted an eye
>pretty sure he had the camera recording
>angrily forced me on my knees and called me a useless fucking retard
>shoved his dick in my mouth
>slapped me because i accidentally used teeth
>knocked my glasses off and told me "leave them, pick em up when you're done"
>pumped my face with his hand on my head
>clasped his hand over my mouth and growled at me to swallow
>told guidance counselor later that day
>"oh stop lying, he's a married man who goes to church with kids, how about i call your parents and tell them what you told me"
>parents got mad and whooped my ass, grounded me from reading books for a month
>mr estes got furious and sent me to detention for a month
>fellow sixth graders thought i had dropped out or died
>mr estes is still happily married and has since retired comfortably
>also still coaches softball and teaches at a catholic university
>>35861911
>tfw older brother made me suck his dick when i was 6
My mom made me have a kid with her friend when I was underage. Well they both wanted it actually. I felt like I couldn't refuse and there was a lot of pressure. Neither one thinks anything about it was wrong or bad, and years later act like I overreact when I try to bring it up or complain about it.
I like to eat frozen berries, kindof like you'd eat icecream except its berries.
>>35861888
Nice trips !
I have one to share.
Sometimes, to see if I want to sleep, I "taste my bed". I just lay down in my bed for a few seconds and wait to see if I feel sleepy.
>>35861888
Have you ever tried frozen banana slices, OP? It's like candy but healthy
>>35861935
No, I havn't, but I sure will
Why don't you ride a motorcycle?
It's the perfect transportation for a robot
>can only ride alone
>dangerous
>high rate of death
>get to cover your face with a helmet
>people automatically assume you're cool
>>35861883
Remember that crotch rockets are for low test betas
>>35861883
Could you recommend me a bike that fits my 8/10 facial features?
>>35861883
No one thinks I''m cool for riding a motorcycle.
That's not what it's about though, so it's fine.
>tfw atheist dad tells me that if I don't get married before the age of 27 he's going to risk his life and go back to his muslim home-country to find a girl and force an arranged marriage on me
W-what do I do, lads? I don't want to marry some weird brown muslim lady
>pic unrelated
Ask your dad to at least find you a westernised qt Muslim girl.
>>35861848
go with him and stay there
>father literally will risk life to get gf for son
>son complains
I just. What? Fuck you.
Anyone want to see this girls boobies?
Why would I hmm? Do you respect women? I do. You are a disgusting male pig. But yes, I wouldn't mind laying my spectacle eyes on her breasts.
what the fuck is happening on her forehead
>>35861845
Le tips original fedora
ITT: /r9k/ members you recognize
>The anon making choker treads who disappeared but return
>The anon making the daily wagecuck thread
>that poster that's been around r9k since 2008 who doesn't post much anymore except to call an occasional newfag out when they say some really stupid shit but otherwise has resigned to apathy
>that poster with the smugwojak pic that comments on every single wakie wakie wagie thread
>>35861772
How would you recognize him?
>be me
>meet cute girl 8/10 (1extra pt for glasses)
>good personality
>have a lot in common
>spend a lot of time together
>enjoy each other's company
BUT
she unironically likes pic related and buzzfeed
>>35861663
Abort now man. You'll find yourself hating the person you love and being ripped in half by emotion. If you fuck her it's pretty much over for you you're going to get oneitis for her even though she's an awful person
>>35861663
>good personality
>likes Amy Schumer and buzzfeed
Pick one
>>35861737
this girl defies logic itself
What are you listening to /r9k/?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxz04H2xS3c
>>35861648
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY4Zd2HpJ8c
listening to this right now op
btw who's the fluid druid?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgpa7wEAz7I
Krackhouse-The Whole Truth
I'm working on listening to Shimmydisc's catalog over the next few months. Some of their stuff is really hard to find.