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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3408. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>reply to 7 threads
>all 7 die
I have an odd feeling there are like only 10 people here and everything else is just automated posting to make it like there are thousands of people here, or even that there is this one mod paid to reply to every thread
17 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38012935
we don't like frogs anymore
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>>38012935
reported for wrongthink
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>>38012947
>>38012960
prove you are human: 7x8=?

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I actually haven't masturbated to a real woman, ever.
21 posts and 4 images submitted.
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I have never masturbated to something that wasn't either a cartoon or overt furfaggotry.
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I get from flaccid to orgasm in a minute thinking about being gangbanged by big black cocks.
>>
>Pathetic thread
>Posts an image of the strongest man

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How do you DATE normalfags? Sex is easy (am legit girl), but I'm too much of a loser to talk about normal things, don't have social media, listen to metal while they usually don't, don't have a life. Like what do I do? I look like a normie, but I'm not one.
35 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>38012895
No John, you are the normies
fukthebot
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>>38012895
Please fuck off with your fake problems. All this board has been lately is a bunch of stupid faggot normies complaining "o no I don't have things in common muh robot status" like you think this is some kind of group you should be proud to be a part of. Leave this board, please. Never come back.
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>>38012895
kill yourself subhuman roastie garbage

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Too slow roach

You'll never defeat me!
12 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38012888
Good morning, sociojak
Nice triple digits buddy
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>>38012888
*dodges you*
>>
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>>38012901
Hello roach.


>>38012902
Hehe, That's what you think pawn

just got rejected by cutie asian girl employee at subway
and not one of those ugly faced, chestless,no-ass asian girls
>a solid 8 or 9/10 nice perky tits, tight little ass, fun size with a really cute voice.

I DONT THINK IM GONNA MAKE IT SENPAI
15 posts and 1 images submitted.
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obviously you need to green text you goddamn fag
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>>38012885
did you try to ask out a fast food worker at work?
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>>38012885
kek I bet you think she was being nice to you just to be nice and not because she's obligated to.

>tfw Mommy spanks me for arriving to work 20 seconds late
does anyone else love their boss?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38012858

What anime is this? Originaleee
>>
>implying this actually happened
If it did I want to apply wtf anon
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>>38013094
The "Monogatori" series.
I don't know the order the series is in because Crunchyroll decided not to upload them in order when I still had an account.

>don't self insert as the girl
>feel lonely and realise a girl hasn't and will never do this to my cock
>get an intense yearning for companionship that can't be fulfilled
>my dick starts to go soft
>quickly self insert as the girl instead
>imagine myself sucking the cock
>imagine the feel the cock on my lips instead of the girls lips on my cock
>feel less lonely
>dick gets hard again
>still think the girl is beautiful after I cum and wish we could have a moment like this together
Its strange, when I go outside I'm never attracted to men. Instead I find myself staring at girls, seeing how they walk, smelling the air as they pass me it usually ruins my day because I'm left thinking about what I can't have.

How do I stop letting this distract me and stop these faggot thoughts seeping into my head? I've tried nofap but even after the first week it just becomes unbearable to do anything because I'm constantly thinking about cumming
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38012827
find ugly gf. then slowly progress towards prettier ones. you have to learn to love uggos first
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>>38012827
It's autogynephilia, anon. Either stop watching porn or transition.
>>
I don't think its a big deal, self inserting as the girl is fun and different from the usual imagining of pounding away at holes.

How do I suck cock? I legitimately don't know.
18 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Suck on your thumb

It's like that but bigger typically.

It's really not complicated.
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>>38012792
Like a cucumber.
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>>38012801
you don't suck on cucumbers lol

ITT: redflags

>he doesn't use Oxford commas
>he uses dashes instead of slashes when writing out dates
>he spells "a while" "awhile"
>he uses ellipses or exclamation marks outside of dialogue
>he writes numbers that contain only one word in numerals
>he believes conjunctions can't start a sentence
>he overuses colons, semicolons, and em dashes for stylistic purposes
>he doesn't use lower case letters and periods when writing out a.m. and p.m.
>he uses food analogies in his prose unironically
>he has EVER used a run-on sentence or comma splice (don't even let him buy you a drink)
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38012751

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
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I do most of these things, are you mad?
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>>38012751
It is 12:31 pm.

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Hang in there wagie, only two more days left!
6 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Fuck you my job is hard, I don't even care, this is my first week after months of being neet, I just want weed already
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>>38012723
I work from home, neetie. I can work whenever I want and I earn more than double your neetbux. I can also still collect welfare with the government being none the wiser.

When are you going to step up to my level?
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>>38012723
Yeah, two more days till I'm done with that fucking garbage job HA

I lost weight, why do I have loose skin? I eat right, I exercise correctly. Why am I still hideous? I fixed myself. Why?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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How much weight did you lose? Is the loose skin really that bad?
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>>38012780
Went from 120KG to 70KG.

Yes it is fucking hideous, I look like in melting.
>>
This is my biggest fear if I ever get around to losing weight.
Are you built? Did you lose it quick?
I'm hoping that by building muscle and losing weight gradually I'll be able to avoid this fate worse than death

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>ctrl-f
>no party rockers thread

PARTY ROCKERS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT WE JUST WANNA HAVE A GOOD TIME
20 posts and 3 images submitted.
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IT'S "EVERY ROBOT HAVE A GOOD TIME"

REEEEEE
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>>38012694

WE GONNA MAKE YOU LOSE YOUR MIND

WE JUST WANNA SEE YA SHAKE THAT SHAKE THAT
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>>38012694
I get told i look like redfoo a lot. Feela bad man.

Its my fucking birthday today anon, why tf am i on R9K. Im pathetic. Now... what did u guys do on your birthday this year or last year? Make me feel better.
19 posts and 7 images submitted.
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Went out for drinks with some friends and then my friend puked over my balcony.
Fun times.
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>>38012660
I took a walk at midnight to one of my favorite places. It was pretty fun, and made up for everything that didn't feel right that day.
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>>38012660
Happy Birthday Anon. I too spent my birthday this year alone on /r9k/.

Nobody called or texted. I had no presents or cake. Just like every day, I am alone.

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Ask someone who went from dateless handholdless kissless virgin robot to just virgin (which will hopefully change in 2 days when we meet again) in one night anything.
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38012630
Congrats. I wouldn't rush it though. Seriously, if you have a good thing going, keep it steady instead of rushing into it. Keeps her interested and makes her feel like you didn't just do it all to get in her pants
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>>38012630
Why the fuck are you on my board half-robot?
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>>38012734

she's meeting my parents next week, but it's only because she wants to learn stickshift and my stick truck is parked at their house

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>meet qt pure virgin like /r9k/ suggests
>she's socially awkward
>but she's sort of sweet
>after 3rd date try for sex
>"I'm waiting until marriage I hope you understand"
>mfw

You guys have terrible taste
26 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38012569
> he fell for the virgin meme
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>>38012569
How is she supposed to stay a pure virgin if she's willing to put out before she's married? She'd become Chad's used goods very quickly.
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>>38012569
>being a sex-obsessed pervert
Waiting till marriage is a good thing, fuck you.


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