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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6069. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

If you were to drop dead right now, how long would it take for someone to notice?

I think I could go months before someone finds me rotting
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Im in my room with my door locked. Eventually someone would somehow open the door. Probably at most 10 people around my age would be at my funeral.

I've actually almost died before, I won't get specific on the details.
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>>36641627
no. no. we're so intrigued. please share the details. i bet it's sooooo interesting.
>>
my bf would notice literally instantly

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US robots, what stops you from buying a gun and ending this pain right now?
18 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36640670
>have terrible depression
>sellers use background checks
>unable to buy gun because mental illness
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>>36641174
Dont you have states without these checks?
>>
>>36641231
no. you can buy one from a redneck though. I am to dumb to use a gun honestly, I'd shake trying to use it and blow off only my ear on accident

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rate my OC, robots
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36640659
Uncreative. Try sampling the A and the L and use them to write "All" instead.
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>>36640659
I don't really get it.
What do you mean?
>>
>>36640659
why didnt you keep the title and just photoshopped them getting raped and killed?

How does this image make you feel? What kind of emotions does it evoke?
140 posts and 50 images submitted.
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im happy for them kinda sorta
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>>36640581
/pol/ pls go away. Friendly reminde that if you feel like you have to post in racebait threads the least you can do for the community is to type 'sage' in the options field. Making r9k better one day at a time, fellas.
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COLONIZED by the White man.

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It's the weekend so I got to sleep in, but I still need someone to wake me up with a blowjob ;)
38 posts and 16 images submitted.
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How do you get an aesthetic penis flop like that? I can't get mine to do that.
>>
Since you have got a blowjob, I should think you could cum on Chichi & have sex with her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJJyAvptT2s
>>
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>>36640646
You have to have girth for one and you need to be a shower when flaccid. My cock is generally around 4" when flaccid. But now that I'm posting I'm getting a semi
>>36640661
I'd prefer cumming on Tifa's boobies while my cock is between them

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I'm drunk at 830am ask me anything
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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when did you woke up?
>>
>>36640539
haha I'm drunk too except its 730 here. i took a nap last evening though so i'm not really tired.
>>
>>36640553

I woke up around 6pm and went to work and drank all night through my shift

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>Thread about dreams a week or two ago
>One guy says that eating chocolate before bed helps for having vivid, wild, even lucid dreams
>I've been trying to have lucid dreams for my entire life with no luck
>forgot about it, two weeks go by
>last night
>bored and tired, going to bed, but first eat a third of this chocolate rabbit in the fridge because why the fuck not, who else /fatanddepressing/ here?
I don't fall asleep for another two hours but here's the dream I get:
>Thanksgiving
>walking outside my house
>run into my 10/10 short blonde haired, blue eyed, ex-gf oneitis
>casual conversation
>as I leave, she gives me a quick kiss
dafuq.wav
>IRL, she broke up with me to avoid a long-distance relationship and I'm still barely over her 4 months later
>"What are you doing?"
>"I changed my mind."
>she comes home with me for thanksgiving
>I tell her how much I missed her
>she tells me nice things that I know I'm not ever gonna hear again from anyone else
>we just cuddle and enjoy being with each other on the neighbor's front lawn
>"Anon, I lo-"
>wake up
It's not fucking fair, guys. My own subconscious has turned on me.
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Also, inb4
>get out Norman Reeeeeeeeeeeeeedus
I was a chubby, nerdy 5/10 on a good day with a super-beta personality who had been this girls friend for years.
For whatever reason she loved me back. My first and only gf.
I'm not even mad now, just sad.
I was a robot. I thought I had transcended and gained cyborg status. I did. For a while.
Turns out it was just an upgrade.
Also dreams thread, I guess.
>>
Does eating chocolate really help though? I want to have more vivid dreams.
>>
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>>36640534
Chocolate helps you dream? Is this true?

I don't really get dreams, haven't had a dream this year yet, so I'm gonna try it tonight.

How do you get vivid nightmares? That's what I wanna know. They seem interesting.

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http://www.channel4.com/programmes/how-autistic-are-you
I found a test that you might finally be able to pass
17 posts and 8 images submitted.
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>Occupation
>there is no NEET option

Whoever made this is so normie they cannot even comprehend someone not ever having had a job.
>>
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We already have a test. If you can't understand this, then you are autistic.
>>
i got so fucking happy when i saw that i was only slightly in front of that little marking because i thought it was average but it was average autistic

im fucking done i used to think i was autistic but i decided i wasnt and then the therapist said she thought i was this is fucking dumb

Well robots? Who gets it?
63 posts and 7 images submitted.
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I deserve it I got there first fuck those normies
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>>36640486
Nobody, because I was there first.
>>
>>36640486
First come firstt serve :^)

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Can I chemically castrate myself to go not go bald? I mean it's fucking retarded I haven't had sex in years, I'm not even interested in sex, there's no girls where I live, there's no point. I don't even want a girlfriend or kids or sex I just want my hair so I don't walk down the street looking like a balding freak.

I don't really need sexual pleasure I'll probably just find a trap or tranny to fuck my ass and learn to like it or something. I would literally knife my own balls off for hair if I wasn't so afraid of gore and pain and injury
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Why do you need your hair if you're not trying to get laid anyway?
>>
A dick and balls has nothing to do with the hair growing on your ead anon
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>>36640991
>being this retarded
just get on fin and be done with it

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Do any of you use discord? Have you had any luck in finding friends there?
29 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>do any of you use discord

what do u think the fucking answer to this moron question would be on this board
>>
Yeah, r9 cucks here M8hrB
>>
>IRC with pictures and ebin memes

no thanks

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who here is borderline normal/can fake being normal but has robot quirks or has a second life as a robot?
28 posts and 5 images submitted.
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I don't spill my spaghetti, can talk without revealing my power level

Im just invisible to the normals

If that's what you call pretending to be normal then that's what I am doing
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>>36640305
Well I have friends and even socialize, I just can't drive myself to get someone. So here I am 23 and kv, being here though just makes me feel worse, but I hate myself so it is ok.
>>
That's me alright. I can fit amongst everyone, and hate using the word "normie". However I'll never truly belong amongst the norm or feel at ease there.

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>tfw my wisdom teeth is coming out
it's such an unbearable pain
RRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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shoulda flossed
>>
>tfw 2 wisdom teeth came out without any problems
still worried about the other 2
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>>36640272
Chew some ice

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>Have to read and make notes on 40 pages a day to finish the syllabus before the exam
>Estimated that this would take 14 hours a day of solid work, 7 days a week for 4 weeks.

Basically I'm on a death march /r9k/, how do I survive this?

I can do 6-8 hours of solid work a day consistently but I've never done 12 hours a day before for longer than 5 days. Solid meaning not counting breaks/getting coffee/going to the toilet/everything else other than work.

Also, I know some CEO's work this amount of hours all the time, so what separates them from us?
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36640261
12 hours a day of solid work*
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>>36640261
>read and make notes on 40 pages a day
>14 hours a day of solid work

Are you a really slow reader??
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>>36640316
If it's something related to science or technology, it's not that unrealistic, provided it's completely new material to him and he really has to understand it in detail.

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Are you doing anything this Saturday? Do you wish you were?

Go out and play magic! Many places are doing a sealed event for the Amonkhet release.

What happens is you go the store, pay 30 bucks and get 6 packs. Open those packs and make your 40 card deck with those cards.

The events usually last around 3-4 hours, depending on the size.

You don't need a 4000 dollar deck to enjoy magic.
28 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>36640257
If you are going, and have not played Magic before, make sure you take some time to learn how to play.
http://magic.wizards.com/en/gameplay/how-to-play
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>>36640257
For those who have never built a sealed deck, Channel Fireball did make a neat primer. https://www.channelfireball.com/articles/the-amonkhet-prerelease-primer/
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>>36640257

>its a major company trying to do viral marketing on r9k episode

well fuck


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