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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5971. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>be me
>don't have very many friends, just play online with kids at school
>family urges me to go out with my "friends"
>asks me who they are
>describe my favorite boards on 4chan as people
>parents say they sound great, go hand out with them for once anon
>go on 4chan to shit
Mfw your my only friends
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36693917
*You're
Stupid newfag, kys
>>
>>36693917
pretty paiting anon
>>
>>36693917

What is your life lmao

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I PUT TABASCO SAUCE ON MY COCK


ALL I FEEL IS PAIN
12 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Why the fuck would you do that?
Were you trying to fuck the bottle?
>>
>>36694365
No, I wanted to find out how it felt.
>>
>>36693912
This is absolutely your fault, are you retarded?

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Hey guys! Its me, cloud. Just wanted to say that it will get better! Have a nice day, and keep your chin up!
18 posts and 9 images submitted.
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>>36693864
can you come to my house and fuck me
>>
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Thank you, anon
Origabvbb
>>
Plot twist: It doesn't

First tinder match and I get this?
12 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36693859

Reply with
>"They'll look better on your vagina"
>>
>>36693859
"all the better to suck your clit with" put that moon face emoji
>>
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>>36693859
Which one is Laura?

Remember this, robots? How about this time?
48 posts and 10 images submitted.
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>>36693839
>the Predator
Damn, this shit even sounds kicking
Being the the Chad in his final form, while ravaging normies, leftists, LBGT...
>>
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>>36693839
buff the degenerate. its a bit too claustrophobic.

let people him have house guests if he wants to.
>>
>>36693958
I think you might be the first person who's ever made that choice. Your psychopathy is awe inspiring.

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>tfw oneitis only likes bad bitches
how do i stop being a shy girl? i'm so socially awkward it's not even funny i just want to be a bad bitch
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36693833
>wear walmart clothes
>develop a southern accent
>fuck a family member
>jean shorts

bad bitch achieved
>>
>>36693833
I'll beat the shit out of you
>>
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>>36693833
OP has reached it, the infinitive autism, only 0,001 are able to reach that level of autism, she is now one with stupidity of humanity.

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>handsome
>white
>tall
>succesful
>educated
>rich
>young
>but really really really super tiny penis
is my habit of coming here justified? can I stay? my penis is seriously underdeveloped and it holds me back a lot in life

pls dont call me a normie
24 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>36693801
Give us measurements
>>
Why haven't rich people found a way to money this problem away yet?
Y'all aren't trying hard enough.
Although you can just pay women to be your companion regardless.
>>
>>36693824
it's 9 cm long hard, that's 3.5", flaccid it's 5 cm or smaller, varies, my flaccid size basically looks like a 6 years olds, not even exaggerating

I'm 99 percent sure I have a hemorrhoid. what do I do until my mommy brings me some preparation h from Wal-Mart?
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36693771
>what do I do until my mommy brings me some preparation h from Wal-Mart?

wash your ass?
>>
find a comfortable position to sit in. Understand if this is your first rhoid you're likely going to end up with some level of constipation and may need a suppository.

In the future drink more water, eat things with more fiber in it, and when you sit on the toilet dont force it out, let it come out on its own.
>>
>>36693785
took a shower at night.

is this what anal is like?

>Drunk
>Again
>Almost 7 days a week now
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36693748
You're tumbling down Senpai
>>
>>36693748
>drinking cheap wine atb7am while jmasturbatung
>>
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Drinking is a meme anon, quit while you are ahead of yourself.
>was drinking 6 to 7 days a week
>a week ago
>old friend comes by my house at 11:00am
>just barges in drunk as fuck
>I can smell him from across the room
>slurring all his words
>parents and their friends were upstairs
>really embarrassing
>tell him to get the fuck out
>so mad I felt like grabbing my gun

pour all my alcohol except my good scotch down the drain. Haven't and won't go to the liquor store anymore, been just drinking coffee.
>don't feel ready for bed at 4pm anymore

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>"When is yours coming in anon?"
30 posts and 6 images submitted.
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In next week why do you ask ?
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>>36693738
my what?

muted for 2 seconds
>>
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>>36693738
I do wanna buy this, just so if some cute boy knows the reference I might get to pork him. The worrying thing is tho if someone asks me where it's from and I say I don't know and they take a picture and manage to find out it's source I'm fucked.

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Hey guys, wanted to see if you like my vlog. Let me know thnx! (:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xA5HZUPJsAc
16 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>36693651
There is no God, only hell.
>>
she doesn't look bed ridden, i thought she was. am i supposed to feel sorry for her?

other than not being able to get dick whenever, she is still going to be able to live a relatively normal life, assuming her condition isn't terminal.
>>
>>36693724
Thats true but womens entire nature is to be given attention for their appearance, and when that is deprived, it is tragic

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i sure as hell do
im 21 and i thought i loved girls before, but 6 months ago i met this girl in college and nothing i felt for a girl comes remotely close to the things she made me feel. The best part is she likes me back and it feels like heaven. I dont even have words to express the feelings she gave and constantly gives me and what i feel every time i look into her eyes and when we're touching or when she's simply near me.
After a 6 month long game of cat and mouse we finally started dating and we confessed our feelings to each other. I remember the first time i locked eyes with her in the hallway while waiting for class. That moment carved into my memory, every single detail. I felt something that day, something i cant explain. That never happened to me before, thats how i know i it was more than just a crush. We have so much in common, we never run out of things to talk about, we love the same stuff, and are so much alike in so many ways and it just feels so right. And when we get intimate, sweet jesus, i think i will have a heart attack every time because of how intense it all feels.
She made me believe that there truily is that special someone out there for every person.

cant wait for the bitter assholes to tell me how she's gonna dump me for chad, how women cannot love, how its all in my head, how she's a roastie whore and how im deluding myself. I know what im feeling and what she's like around me and how she changed my outlook on life, and nothing you say will change my mind. So have fun.
24 posts and 5 images submitted.
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Nice blog mate.
>>
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This isn't Facebook buddy
>>
Congrats, anon, I hope you get to experience that true love while it lasts.
Mark my words:

Love is like an acid trip, you get higher than the fucking babel tower, then suddenly you realize you're just sticking around for the booty and a vague sense of comfort.

>enjoy while it lasts

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Why do girls stick out their tongue?
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36693608
Because they want you to photoshop a cock and a cumshot on them.
>>
They're stupid whores simulating a cum target.
>>
>>36693608
Slut reflex. It's part of their nature.

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What's your biggest non sexual fantasy?
92 posts and 19 images submitted.
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>>36693593
Fucking a thicc refugee teen that hides it under non-revealing clothes and her becoming completely dependent on me
>>
Everyone in the world vanishes apart from me
>>
>>36693629
Thats not nonsexual

Role-Reversal and Gentle Femdom General
Revival Edition

ITT:
>feels
>related hentai
>greentext
>monster girls
>general lewdness
>doujins
>anime/mango recommendations
>cuteposting
>vocaroos
>friendly discussion

/rr/ and /gfd/ megapastebin: http://pastebin.com/evbfjazh
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More qt pictures
>>
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I'll just keep posting these.
>>
All these threads did was remind me of how few women actually want to gently dominate men.


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