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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5667. page

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>rip a fart
>it glides up between my labia and comes out the front
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
>see this thread
>stop being upset I don't have a gf
>>
>>36858799
It's a miracle

original
>>
>>36858422
Those weird bubble ones are the best. Except if you are in public. They can end loudly.

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Have you ever gotten drunk with a gril?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36858411
SHE SEXY WOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
>>36858411
yeah, a few actually over the years. but they've always been friends or been in a group. I've never drank with a girl romantically. In my experience girls get more fun and open when they drink, but I guess that can be said for anybody.
>>
>>36858411
yes, I tried introducing her to single malt scotch and xo brandies but she had shit taste so I gave her some sweet liqueur shite my family bought
it wasn't as fun as it sounds, esp when drunk only gets you half chub

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>tfw Runner's High

why don't you run robots? It'll help you feel better
40 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>Run
>feel exhausted
>my legs hurt
>my feet hurt
>I'm sweating
>people are looking at me
>don't feel any alleged benefits
Fell for the running meme again
>>
>>36858462

You don't push yourself hard enough if you weren't overcome by an enormous sensation of warmth and relaxation shortly afterwards.
>>
bump

lets hear those excuses

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who /unrequited/ here? post stories of your one sided love affair. past or present. vent out your feels. get it off your chest. cry some if you want.

for the last 5 months ive been in pure agony over a girl. its a horrible feeling to be her friend and have a good relationship with her in that sense. but whenever a new guy enters her life she ghosts the fuck out of me. shit hurts really bad. i feel like i mean nothing to her even though she said she loved me before. every time i see a new guy with her it honestly kills my soul. im a mess and i dont even know what to do at this point.
18 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>36858382
>Be me
>find nerdy girl who's a bit brainweird but delightful to be around
>would marry her
>she's engaged to a woman
>she marries her
>find out she used to date guys
>find out she cheated on her wife with a guy
>so if she were to cheat on her with me it probably would have already happened
>guess the world will just go on without her kids
>fuck
>>
Girl I tried to avoid gets super close to me because of assigned seats. I tried to ignore her but she made her way into my life and introduced me to her friends and all and pretty much cured my social autism. She would always consider me and stuff and we got to the point where we would spend sun up to sundown and sun up again just talking to each other and shit. The day I saw her come to school sad is when I realized I loved her, I would've fucking died for her as gay as that sounds. I wanted to protect her, I'd kill for her smile. I made it a point to everyday make sure she laughed a lot and was having a good time. I confessed to her when she was leaning in my shoulder and her response was the worst thing she could've ever done, she hugged me tightly and said that she didn't want a relationship but wanted to stay close friends. Of course things got awkward and we drifted aoart over time but I wish she just let me down with a flat no and a look of disgust or something. I wish she hated me so that she didn't leave such a lasting impact on me. Nice girls are the worst man.
>>
>>36858382
Did I met the cutest girl ever today she was fucking so hot I don't even really know how to explain in words how hot she was she was fucking really sexy dude and I got any really I was just being myself you know when I think you she's picking up the van but I'm really not sure I'll have to I didn't even get a number that and what the fuck was I thinking that's all right I'll fucking there's more playing presidency and Amber the girls hot

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Pretend im your oneitis and say what you want to say to me. Okay? and go!
15 posts and 3 images submitted.
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i'm talking to him right now
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>>36858278
why are you talking in 3rd person femanon?
>>
>>36858278
whadya mean you're talking to him? who's him ?
we're alone in this dark room

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I'm here to tell you all a short story, about how OP (faggot) got his first kiss today.
>Be kv failed normie trash
>go to crossfit for a couple of months, get /fit/
>tutor this girl for a couple of months, become friends with her
>she comes over today to ask me some stuff
>we're laying in bed and she turns to look at me and asks me if I want her to be my first kiss
>shit.jpg, I sperg out and laugh, we both forget about it for a while
Cont.
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36858230
>Anyway we finally kissed.
>Turns out I'm gay.
>>
>>36858317
cont.

>asked her if she has any chad friends
>she does
>get their number

cont?
>>
Just fucking post you raging autist

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Im starting to believe that I have nothing in common with any female in the world in terms of worldview , thinking and interests. Maybe thats why I have always been rejected simply because we can't connect in a fundamental way.
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36858229
I'm female anon. Let's talk.
>>
>>36858229
Nah, that's never the case. It smacks of pride to think you're that special-- get over yourself.
>>
>>36858321
In a nutshell I am pessimistic, against race mixing,think social darwinism is morally reprehensible, and have no mainstream interests.

Say anon, its kinda embarrassing to say so, but I really enjoy being around you.

I was wondering if maybe, after we're done our coffee I mean, you'd like to come back to my dorm with me?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36858215
Sure have you got smash bros?
>>
>>36858215
Sure. But can i stick my tongue in your tight pink asshole when we get there? Shucks, Molly Jane.
>>
mary kate ashley olsen unsmudge that eyeliner RIGHT NOW

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helo fren
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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how u?
>>
Wow, that's one tiny face LOL
>>
hi granpa

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>AYYY ANON
>Ayyy Lmao anon
>Ayy... *hnnn* lmao...
>Ayy *pppfffPPPPRRRRRBBBBRRRAAPPPP* *pap* *PAP* *pffff....*
>haha now that's what I call a close encounter of the TURD kind, anon lmao
17 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36858073
>the moment i wander out of the only decent thread on /r9k/ and this is on the first page.

This board needs purging.
>>
is this what men really want? fat thighs and butts and farting?
what the fuck?
>>
>>36858391
No it's just want most of the fucking virgins here want because they are so desperate for a human touch between all the
>normies
and reeeing.

LOL
THOSE WHITE BOYS FROM TINY CHAT JUST BANNED ME
HAHAHA
VINCE U CUK WHITE BOY
U DONT LIVE ONE DAY IN MY COUNTRY
U THINK URE FROM THE HOOD CAUSE U DO MDMA
NIGGER, YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING PUSSY

ALSO HANNAH U BITCH
JUST KILL URSELF
NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT U DESU.
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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HOLY SHIT SOME OF U WHITE BOYS ARE SO PATHETIC
U COCKSUCKERS LIVE IN THE FIRST WORLD
CRIMINALY IS 20 TIMES LOWER THAN HERE
BUT SOMEHOW
U THINK URE BADASS
CAUSE U GOT TO A FUCKING CHATROOM
AND DONT FUCKING CHAT

HOLY SHIT U FUCKING AUTISTIC WEIRDOS
>>
oh look at how edgy i am
oh look at how depressed
ure only putting an act u mongoloid twat
why dont u fucking kill urself then motherfucker?
why dont u go ER, SOdini or LAnza?/
do something about it
bitching online wont change anything
u fucking brat
>>
those mongoloids pretend they're edgy, but they're mostly middle upper class suburban whites who think they're cool 'cause they do drugs. they go on fucking tinychat and do not fucking chat. also, they're insane white knights. you tell a bitch that offended you to kill herself and after awhile they ban you.

i'll tell you this, lookism is by far the BEST place on the internet
in 4 years I've NEVER been banned
you know why?
'cause people here are legit

we don't pretend
we don't try to look badass or fucking edgy
this cocksucker mongoloid once talked about my meme to text ratio (wtf?)
what a fucking twat.

i'm mad rn.
spent two fucking hours in this shithole (WHERE I FOUND FUCKING DANGIES) only to get banned 'cause i told some whore to go ER or kill herself instead of bitching only.

i'm bitching now
But not like her
I'm not oh I wanna kill myself oh poor me

FUCK HER
FUCK HIM (VINCE, FUCKING FAGGOT MOD)
FUCK THEM (MOSTLY).

Need some help with girls in your life? Qt at work or school who you want to talk to? I'm just here cramming for a final so I'd figure I could try and help some people out.

Some friendly anons here helped me to get my first gf ever a few months ago and I just want to pay it forward.Maybe I can help one of you get closer to that girl you like or give my approach to a certain situation. Just trying to help.

Anyway, hopefully some of you can make me feel useful before I get my shit pushed in by this final in a little less than eight hours
18 posts and 5 images submitted.
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How about advice FOR girls?

> all my friends live together
> ask one of them when i can visit
> " when were done packing? Near the end of the month?"
> tell her i'm autismal, is she telling me to fuck off?
> " no anon!"
> friday night
> another friend is visiting them, posted in group chat
> ask another friend if people are mad at me
> he says " no anon we all like you so-and-so just came over and you can too"

I always need others to invite me out. I'm too scared to inflict myself on others.
>>
Yeah there's this chick down the street, real nice and friendly, cute.
We only talk at neighborhood get togethers and such, but I feel like she thinks I'm doable.

I wanna eat out her asshole. What do I do to get her in bed?
Work your magic op
>>
>>36859192
That's probably not going to happen @ asshole

Try asking her out.

What is the most cancerous community in United States and why is it the LGBTQ22A+ community?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Because a gay person CAN become straight with enough effort, will, support from others and knowing what to do about it
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>>36857952
>What is the most cancerous community in United States
4chan.
>>
>>36857952
>Q22A+
hwat da fuk?

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>dreamt about the qt i dated for a year and a half that killed herself
>tfw i cupped her cheek and kissed her so gently
>tfw i woke up
>tfw my chest felt like a black opened in place of my heart
>tfw looking out the blinds of my apartment drinking hard scotch 12 years after her death

I hate myself, my brain just wants me to feel pain
20 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36857950

>had a gf

The door is that way normie >>>>

sorry anon, I feel for you
>>
>>36857950
If there is one thing Learned you need to let it go.
She would not want you to be think fucked up about her.
Take it from me she would be happy if you left her alone and carried on.
>>
I cannot comprehend this situation. Im in a vulnerable state right now. I have teared up. Good luck my friend, youll need it

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What sets apart billionaires/millionaires like Jeff Bezos (the founder of Amazon) from everyone else?

Is it work ethic?

Will power?

A lot of them don't even seem like out and out geniuses. You know, 'gifted' people. Bezos was just your run of the mill investment banker prior to Amazon and Trump is as thick as 2 short planks.
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Some times its simply the right idea at the right time.
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Well, he looks Jewish, so that's a good start
>>
>>36857959
Jeff sucks ass

Amazon is run like shit and has a million issues and loopholes. Only reason it works is due to the scale.

I've personally bothered him because my account was locked with $400 in it and it took a true sob story for him to unlock it. He wouldn't help me at first.


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