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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4907. page

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>"Babe, do I look good? I've been feeling so fat and ugly lately, do I still....excite you?"
What do you say?
115 posts and 24 images submitted.
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>>37496754
Why are you black? I think you're pregnant.
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>>37496754
If I had a half black son he would probably slay
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>>37496754
>tfw no african (NOT AFRICAN AMERICAN) gf

what should I do

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any robots nutrition experts? im 19 6"2 250 pounds and wanting to loose weight so now i only consume max 950 calories a day with no exercise. is this gonna turn out well or am i gonna die
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>/fit/

Oregano

2.0
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>>37496745
You're not that fat for your height. Just stop eating shit and walk for one hour a day and your weight will go down quickly. If you starve yourself without working out you'll lose muscle and look skinnyfat even at a healthy weight
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>>37496745
One of my old coworkers who's 5'10" and was maybe 220lbs did this for a month and then decided to up it to 1800 calories a day. He did lose weight, though I don't know how much. It'll probably work if you stick to it but good luck sticking to it.

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>just got kicked from a counterstrike game for being female
Why are gamer guys such assholes?
38 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>37496690
>btw I'm a girl

ya your deserved to be kicked.
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>>37496690
cs players have anger issues, and are kids... What do you expect?
>>
cause you were probably like this
>yea im a girl
>yea i play csgo
>omg
>y r u being meeeeaaan to me?
I woulda vote kicked you outta my game too.

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>>37496646
Pff why write it if you're not going to go through with it
12 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>37496646

You have a terrible immediate family I'm sorry anon. Get help immediately there is nothing to be ashamed about.
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>>37496671
Thank you desu. Gonna get some counseling hopefully soon
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>>37496646
What was in the note?

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Would you agree to marring the girl of your dreams if you had to share her with another dude and you all shared the same bed?
Srs question. I know a Double couple like this.
42 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>37496625
Moon is a Harsh Mistress style yes?
If it's not a necessity it's a very hard thing to accept.
It also gets really hairy once babies start falling out of her.

Me and Co husband would have to get along and it'd be a legal nightmare in terms of parental rights but I expect something like this would work.

The shame from monos though.
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>>37496697
>37496697
>>37496697
shame wuddya mean?
>>
Yes. I think polyamory is a good idea, Has a lot of benefits and it's the best solution for male loneliness.

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This seemingly innocent girl is one of the most blacked girls alive

in fact, she just had a new scene release today on BLACKED. It's like her 8th for that site. Not including the other 100 times she's been BBC'd
146 posts and 22 images submitted.
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>>37496602
So? She's not a worse person just because she has sex with black men.
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>>37496650
Yes she is. She's a whore. A nigger loving coal burning degenerate whore.
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>>37496668
>t. angry bitter virgin
Once you leave your parents' houdr and meet girls in the real world, you'll realize how wrong you are.

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Pepe doge has returned and wants to make a deal with you.

Post in this thread and you will probably meet the girl of your dreams within the next couple of hours.
30 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>37496493
What if I don't have a "girl of your dreams" ?
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hi pepe dog
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>>37496493
What if the girl of my dreams isn't of this dimension?

ROH ROH RUH RUH RUH ROH ROH RUHR ROUHR ROH RUH

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Anyone else here a nurse? How do you deal with it?

>didn't know i'd be like this when i enrolled into nursing school
>hate talking to people now
>really nervous
>pretending to be normal takes so much effort

Also
>never worked a day in my life
>about to move to a foreign country to work
>almost no nursing knowledge
>about to embarrass myself
>in a foreign country whose language i don't speak perfectly
55 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>37496477
How could you not know what being a nurse would be like even after attendinh school? Even people who's never set a foot in a hospital know it's one of the shittiest jobs there could be
>extremely long shifts
>constant hard work
>have to deal with patients and theit relatives
>have to cleam patients when they piss and shit themselves
>no one will ever recognize all the things you do while they praise doctors whose job is mostly interpret tests results
>shit pay in most countries
It's the kind of job if you genuinely love people and NURSING them. GTFO of there if you are a sperg, asap
>>
>>37496477
My girlfriend is a nurse but she works with infants in the nursery so it's pretty comfy for her
>>
>>37496477
I considered a degree in nursing for a while and now I'm undeclared again. Wtf do I do in this life

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Can we have a new ideal gf thread?
157 posts and 65 images submitted.
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PLEASE give me a dependent personality disorder obsessive clingy yandere gf FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
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>hits the gym, good looking
>is very nice to everyone, including the homeless
>same career goals as me, or willing to take my advice
>a stretch, but if she were into cars that would be perfect
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>>37496378
Can someone post borderline gf pls

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Who stupid as fuck studying engineering?
I can't do the fourier series of pic related correctly

Tomorrow is the exam, I am going to fail and will have to retake the course.
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>37496144
yeah, that's pretty annoying. Good luck OP! I'm rooting for you
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>>37496144
Good luck anon !

I've been through it, you can do it too.

Be strong
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>>37496144
you better spend all your time shit posting

So what's your earliest sexual memory?

Mine was in primary school, I was seven I think, I started going to undress myself in there, rubbing my cock in the doorhandles and such in the hope people would 'touch' my cock. I don't know why but being this young that shit really turned me on when I shouldn't even have been turned on by anything yet.

Shoot.
22 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Also, and this is a bit more grim, but I have this vague memory that when I was that age my grandma asked me to insert my fingers into her vagina and ass. I never figured out of this really happened or of it's just a figment of my imagination.
>>
I don't remember them in any linear order, just that I used to get random boners all the time and would play with my penis a lot in the bathroom. It goes back a long ass way
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>>37496096
I was only 4. I was playing dress. I'm a boy but loved to dress as a girl and do tea parties and act like a princess. I remember getting extreme erections when I dressed up

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>Be me
>Pretty average guy, but not a betafag, I have a social life
>8th Grade
>Always try to hard to win girls over, give up when I realize I have no chance
>Except this one girl, let's call her Rose
>I like her a lot, we would have been perfect together. She was perfect. Beautiful, great personality, driven, I was good friends with her.
>After a bit of teasing, we decide to go to the dance together.
>Always say we're going as friends
>Dance comes, everything's going fine
>Pretty chill time, but one thing that bothers me
>This guy, let's call him Steve
>I always secretly hated Steve
>Call me petty, but I was envious of him
>Steve was this white kid who was always annoying, but in an endearing way
>Joined the football C Team and lost a lot of weight
>Honestly impressed by his weight loss
>Anyway in our class, Rose and Steve had this love-relationship where they always argued but still hung out
>Same with a lot of my friends
>I fucking hated it because a lot of times they excluded me, which kind of fucked about my self esteem
>I broaden my horizons and become friends with people that I can actually rely on
>Feelsgoodman.jpeg
>Besides, it was eight grade and next year people were going into different high schools, and Rose and Steve were going to be seperated, so my jealous kind was hopeful that Steve and Rose would never interact and I would never see Steve again
>As the year ends, I realize I don't want to make a move on arose in 8th Fucking grade, and I tell her that, and she's like "Cool, now there won't be an awkward tension"
>In not fat, but I am skinny, and throughout they year my testerone made me start to obsessively work out and diet, but my casualness prevented me from getting the hot Chad body.
>Anyway, Dance comes around, my mom drives us over there, she's awkward as expected, me and Rose laugh it off
>Everyone's having a good time
>See Rose and all the other girls looking fine in their dresses
>Post too long, will continue in a bit.
16 posts and 8 images submitted.
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Part Two
Apologies for bad grammar in the last part
>I'm having a good time with Rose and my friends, living it up
>Iputmyhandsupintheairsometimes.mp3
>No one hit the floor, no one walked the dinosaur
>Randomly, in the middle of the dance, Steve comes up to me and says "Hey, can you make sure to keep Rose away from me?"
>I'm too confused to question it, and I'm like "Uh, yeah, sure I guess."
>Even though I hate Steve, we're still on good terms because in too smart to let grudges get the best of me
>Don't care, we party at the dance
>Take pictures with Rose,later I see Rose and Steve taking a picture, increasing my jealousy
>The party continues on, and everyone walks away with no drama occurring
>As the year finishes, it felt like Rose was pushing me away
>Even when I hung out with her friends and she was nearby, it's like she didn't want to interact with me
>Started hanging out with Steve a lot more
>Year finishes, everyone's joking about me and Steve dueling for Rose's love
>Laugh if off, say Steve has clearly won her heart
>Feelsbadman.gif
>Year ends, everyone chills throughout the summer
>I have both Rose and Steve's phone number; I try not to contact Steve while maintaining a relationship with Rose
>She starts getting distant
>New school year starts, everyone is in High School
>Steve is in another school, and in hoping to become closer with Rose
>Sort of works
>A lot of the crowd of friends that hung out with Steve(The ones I hated) went to the other school, which was great
>Everyone at my school is quieter, calmer, normal.
>Very little drama, it's pretty nice
>Start losing my crush on Rose because she's becoming more distant
>She's constantly on the phone with friends from the other school
>Gets in trouble sometimes
>I tell her about it, saying that it's starting to become unhealthy, she needs to have friends here too
>I say it jokingly though, and she laughs it off
>But she doesn't change
>Will continue in a bit, post is getting too long
>>
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Part Three
>Rose starts changing who she is, she's losing herself
>Her old friends who were like the Gang from Its Always Sunny, which is not a good thing
>It's a great show, but the characters are horrible people, who hate everyone else except everyone in their little group
>She starts to isolate herself with likeminded friends who don't question her, friends she knows she can control
>Basically becomes Regina George without being a Queen Bee
>I start to lose my crush on her, focus on earning the friendship of other girls
>Eventually, Steve meets up with Rose and asks her out, putting her on the spot
>Rose accepts
>I know this is doomed to fail
>In 8th Grade Steve dated a girl who had to attend two separate schools because some of her classes were at a high school level
>She moved to our school
>In three months he ruined it over a misunderstanding, and dumped her without hesitation or her side of the story
>Anyway, Im slowly winning her over(Let's call her Naomi)
>It was very ironic because Steve had bought her a ton of Valentine's Day candy grams that got sent to her
>T'was hilarious indeed
>So along with Naomi, in working my magic on some other girls
>A white Girl with low self esteem, kind of quiet, focused on athletics, very nice, let's call her Evelyn
>Very short qt3.14 white girl, very sweet, very naive. I'll call her Quinn
>Mid sized girl, hispanic, ex of a friend, very cool, very outgoing. Let's call her Reyna
>And last but not least, Skylar
>Very short and thin, but she's got curves
>Glasses,Latina even though she kind of acts white, perfect girl, best friends with her
>Good friends with all of them, because I'm actually reliable and helpful while still keeping my personality

>Anyway, while this is happening Rose and Steve are bitching too each other every single day
>Entire class complains
>At one point she gets taken out of her class because she wouldn't hang up her phone while arguing with him. It's fucking ridiculous.
Will continue in a bit.
>>
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Part Four
>Rose and Steve somehow survive a year dating, even though everyone tells them to break up
>Their relationship is toxic, and its basically both sides refusing to back down out of pure spite
>Eventually,something bad happens between them
>Everyone's trying to figure out what, but both Steve and Rose won't say, they're too busy avoiding each other and everyone
>Start too investigate
>Put on my fedora, equip my Samurai and magnifying glasses
>I begin to question all parties involved, Rose, Steve, their friends at the other school
>Eventually, their "friends" reveal that apparently Steve tricked Rose into sending nudes, and that he shared it with other people
>I confront Steve, and he acts hostile, saying some douchebgag things trying to defend himself, how the pictures were his property, how she knew he would spread them and try to get popularity as an attention whore
>At this point Steve is a beta-Chad
>Like Bryce from 13 Reasons if he didn't control the school
>The Chaddified Steve says some more asshole dickish things as I call him out for his shit, and he threatens to fight me, and I threaten to report him to the police
>Chad-Steve fucks off
>I confront Rose
>She breaks down, says she doesn't know who to trust. Steve, who ruined her reputation, and her fucking terrible friends
>She's becoming Hannah Baker at this point
>I comfort her, and say that we can't let Steve ruin her life like this
>See, I have a secret weapon.
>My mother
>She worked in the school district for over a decade before she decided to become a principal. She spent a few years getting the necessary requirements and tests, but now she's a principal
>Of the High Steve's at
>Rose admits her father is also a polcie officer, which makes her terrified to take this to court
>Tell her that if she won't confront her father, then she has to confront Steve
Will continue in a bit

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got back from the psychiatrist.
did not expect to break down crying lol.
got prescribed cipralex.
does anyone have experience with it?
also story thread if you'd like
23 posts and 6 images submitted.
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Sure, tell us the story...
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>>37495993
they basically see you as in chronic pain so they gave you chemical release

life is scary
>>
I was on cipralex for a while. It did nothing.

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Earliest memory thread

>Family is moving houses in my home town
>Remember looking out the window at some dogs barking at me
>New house is only a block away

Apparently I was 2 when this happened

Next memory is of me getting in trouble for drawing on the walls
17 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>37495795
Is it weird that I cant remember events but can perfectly recreate rooms and completely remember roads and directions and shit? Like I can perfectly recreate the very first house I lived in and the whole neighborhood around it in my mind but I remember absolutely nothing that actually happened.
>>
>>37495858

That's actually kinda cool.
Do you still have good spacial memory or is only of childhood stuff?
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>>37495921
Yeah I have a perfect sense of direction and I only need to walk a path once to completely commit it to memory. So once I've been somewhere I never need directions again.

Why don't you just have sex ironically
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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sex is the deepest spiritual connection between two souls and their bodies the highest purest ecstasy the greatest truest joy
>>
im meeting up with some guy from craigslist for oral, am I gonna be killed
>>
>>37495815
how would you know if you never had it

comparing your anime porn to sex is like comparing a movie to real life

>>37495833
probably

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