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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1483. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>listening to music
>silence before songs brings
>loud BUM BUM by the drums
>shit my pants I thought it was a gunshot
>jump up and hit my head against the table (I was under it)
>head is bleeding and I almost passed out cause I hit the edge
How has your day gone anons mine could've been better
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
you should probably go to sleep and never wake up, for your own good.
Rude and you didn't even check my trips
>It is thus thought that 777 is a magical number that may appear in your life at one time or the other to bring comfort to you and your loved ones as well as assure you that you're being watched over by your guardian angels. In addition, this triple number appears to those that are desperately trying to control things in their life for fear of their life falling apart at any moment. This number combination brings a certain level of comfort as well as reassurance that everything will be just fine.

pretty cozy.

>tfw shitskin 3rd world jew
You ain't a robot if you're white
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
you Jews destroy our lives. Only white male victims of the Jewish conspiracy can be robots.
What did i've ever did to you?
Turned the entire world against me for being white and make and mocked and belittled all those like me.

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>tfw chat with boy from here for a few months
>he starts getting super flirty and his face/body are kinda hot
>send him lewd pics of my butt
>he's super attracted
>sends me a pic of his hard dick
>it's 5 inches MAX, thin and cute with a scar

fucking dicklets
11 posts and 5 images submitted.
meant to say cut, not cute, its super veiny and gross
It's not my fault my dick is small

Maybe if you'd let me fuck you you'd see that it's not that bad
someone actually likes you and you are complaining because they have an average sized dick? fuck you

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i want to head pat a girl!!!
Have you ever done it?
If yes...
How it feels?
Females like it?

>inb4 loser
16 posts and 4 images submitted.
If they get headpatted by one of us, i dont think they would like it
They dont really like it , or they just think its weird. Tried with a coworker , my sister , a younger cousin and my gf, the reaction was pretty much the same
>tfw did that regularly to a girl I called "Kiddo" because she was a short qt
>tfw she became an SJW cunt
There's probably no correlation but it's funny to think those things happened in that order

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Wat do with a prostitute other than penetration?
26 posts and 4 images submitted.
worship her original feet
Literally anything. I want to pay a hooker to shit post with me.
Repeated enemas with oatmeal, finishing up with heavy anal fisting*

* This is a true story told to me by a prostitute friend of mine

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>Cousin invited me to his wedding

18 posts and 2 images submitted.
Hit the bar and QT girls.
wedding are fun bro get trashed on somebody else's dime and just hang out
Are you going to go there? Never been to a wedding but I imagine it would be terrible

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>functioning autist
>above-average mathematical skills, total failure in Normie social terms
>seek support from psychotherapist, just to have someone to talk to
>psychotherapist is Normie incarnate
>seems to have stopped questioning himself and the world by the age of 20
>pretends to see through me 100%
>belittles me when he doesn't understand one of my questions
What a colossal waste of money.
Anyone else who encountered useless psychotherapists?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
i've been to three. the first two just wanted me on meds, the third was just telling me obvious stuff. psychology really is just a meme.
i find the act of going to a psychotherapist and actually expecting help bizarre.
just ask for a referral from him, even if you don't get a good replacement he'll know you DUMPED him and have to deal with it on some level
bretty sure he's legally obliged to comply

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>no bIack guys
116 posts and 22 images submitted.
Hookers are picky man when it comes to who they fuck, its tough,
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I never bother with that for that reason.
Nice work, pal.

>tfw im literally the only homosexual that isn't a size queen
>im also the only one that can feel love
24 posts and 4 images submitted.
I have been looking for a bf who wants a real relationship for a while now. Seems like people only want causal sex or they are NEETs who want another parent. I know your feel :(
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Get the fuck outta here you arent that speciali
shhh he's asking for a bf, this could be my chance

>go gay
>go on craigslist and find a place that in exchange of rent I jerk off my roommate.
>place has jacuzzi huge room and everything is fancy.
>go to LGBT community and find countless people who want to be my bf/gf and have sex with me
>had my first threesome within the first month of going gay
>already had sex with 20 people and its only been 7 weeks :>
>Currently in a poly relationship where my boyfriend buys me stuff for me

Why aren't you gay yet?
62 posts and 15 images submitted.
Sounds great, until your ass starts leaking.
Enjoy your Oregonian AIDS.
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>be gay
>shit my pants randomly

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>tfw chibi got to be a chad
>i still sit lonely at home trying to chat up "girls" online
>i will never have a girlfriend
>i will die lonely while chibi pumps his girlfriend full of his cum
>a fucking autistic speedrunner became chad in just a few years

should i literally just kill myself? iam actually serious i dont think its worth anymore but i dont wanna be a frank grimmes type of guy who just looks at other peoples achievements

but seriously did he just get the girl because of his reputation? is that why people like DSP and boogie got girlfriends? should i start speedrunning and do alot of cringy shit in front of the camera to get a girl? iam 100% legit asking this
43 posts and 4 images submitted.
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holy fucking shit just looked trough another pic he uploaded on his twitter

i want to fucking die this would be my fucking dream come true
His mom looks pretty good in that pic
>the secret to vagina is paper mario speedrunning

Tfw no kurisu gf
Pls kill me
27 posts and 20 images submitted.
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>tfw no bf to discuss computational neuroscience with
why live
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>tfw no genius gf to construct a time machine with
get rich and then just get a rando girl to cosplay as her all the time

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wtf is this shit
I seriously don't get it
29 posts and 3 images submitted.
...A shitty joke and a bad comic?
I didn't expect to enjoy this at all, but it got a chuckle out of me
I laughed at how terrible it is. Not only is the """""""""comedy""""""""" nonexistent but the art looks good so someone actually sat down and worked on this piece of dog shit for hours. HOURS of time wasted on this. That, my friend, is the true punchline here.

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> be me
> normie dad really into goy of thrones
> cant watch with him
> lots of sex scenes
> lost weight but still a celibate loser
> cant watch porn because cry
anybody else know this feel ?
17 posts and 6 images submitted.
I usually tab out of the player when there is a sex/kissing scene or any scene where the characters display affection towards each other.
Whats with the edgy hate of game of thrones in this board anyway?
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its common place that anything normies enjoy in mass numbers is shit nobody wants to admit it but because most of us feel cheated by society we hate what everybody else likes its pretty common place here

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who here /self hating pedo/?
They say that little girls are prime and I should be happy, but this feels like a nightmare. I feel like I'm not even human anymore
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Hello FBI, I'm not from the US so you'll have a harder time finding me.
I don't hate myself for the things I like. Over time I've come to accept the things that I liked but couldn't appreciate fully out of shame. There's literally nothing to think about besides your well being and being careful not to be found out by amyone. It's the way to live.
>you will never have a qt daughter to protect from pedos
You were born a scumbag. I recommend ending it

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