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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1437. page

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HELP ME ROBOTS!!!! HOW DO I GET HER TO BOYFRIEND ME
58 posts and 13 images submitted.
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tell her that you're a worthless piece of trash
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>>38769532
You don't. If she's aware of discord she already is sucking the dick of an e-sports playing cyberchad.
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>>38769532
Tell her how you feel. Ask for nudes too tell her shes sexy

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>when you pass a white boi on the sidewalk
36 posts and 19 images submitted.
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>>38769480
>is black
>first instinct is violence
checks out
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>>38769495
>When a wyte boi brings his uglah ass into your thread
>>
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>>38769495
>thinks the OP is actually black
>doesn't realize the OP is a racebaiting /pol/tard

You're really new, huh?

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need female advice robots

>be me
>dating girl from tinder for 4 months
>she's great but has really bad depression and anxiety
>struggles to be affectionate and is a virgin
>i've been with a few girls and i'm desperate to fuck her
>been 4 months and we've tried a few times but every time she just gets too nervous
>had a talk today and she said she doesn't really have a sex drive
>said she doesn't know if she's interested in sex
>we're meeting again next week and getting drunk and maybe doing some coke

do you think there's any hope for this? I really like the girl and she's fun to be around but I can't cope with the lack of affection and sexual stuff, the best I can get from her is kissing

pic unrelated
20 posts and 3 images submitted.
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bompety bomp
>>
psst hey kid
>advice threads and camwhoring/hookup/"rate me" threads should go on /adv/ - Advice and /soc/ - Cams & Meetups respectively.
>>
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>female
>has depression

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>bought a small little server for a month to play with friends
>it's been a month
>nobody played with me

little things like this ruin my weeks

what little things have been hurting my fellow robots?
19 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38769427
>have 1 online friend, he's a poorfag
>discussing vidya, he talks about a new game he thinks looks cool
>ask if he wants to play it with me, he's hyped as fuck
>it's $50, i buy a copy for us each
>next day, it's done installing
>ask if he wants to play (we planned on playing together the entire weekend)
>''nah bro not in the mood right now''
>ask him every day for a week
>rejection
>tfw i can see that he's online almost every day playing the game with his other friends
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>>38769427
>I'm probably literally going to die this month
It's definitely a little thing but there's no actual way to swallow this.
>>
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>>38769637
I've fallen victim to this too many times with the same friend and I never learn.

>I really enjoy game
>the game is on sale
>offer to buy him a copy
>we play for 5 minutes and he never touches it again
>constantly see him playing shitty esports games with a group of normies he is friends with

The worst part about it is that he has the nerve (or subconscious desire to not let the stream of affection and free games go away) to keep in contact with me and offer to hang out, resulting in an hour of dry conversation and him just quitting the call and going to hang out with his other friends.

I'm attempting to ghost him for a few weeks to see how he reacts so I can understand his behavior a bit more but I've put all my eggs in his basket and he's the last friend I have so I don't know if I want to quit on it just yet.

Fuck.

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>finally going to a therapist
>hoping to be prescribed an antidepressant to get over my depression and anxiety, function more normally, and get out and meet people (*cough* women *cough*)
>just began researching antidepressants so I'll have a clue of what's going on when I talk to the therapist
>they all fuck up your sexual sensitivity and ability to orgasm, and side effects may linger even if you drop the drugs

FML, I just can't win.
25 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Or take LSD
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There is no happy pills. Might as well take sugar pills and convince yourself they're helping. It'll spare you the brain damage.
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Zoloft made my hair fall out

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>sister calls me
>says she needs 1000 $$$ before 5 pm
>it's 4:45 pm
>Ok, sure...
>actually can you transfer 1500?

I sent her the money
I know this is wrong, but when a girl asks nicely for something I feel needed and I can't really say no, anyone else like this?
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38769398
Why OP, why? You must be insane.
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>>38769492
I don't know, I guess it feels nice being in a position where someone has to ask you for help. I thought she was having an emergency
anyway I checked her laptop before she got home and she bought a expensive pair of boots
>>
She agreed to pay you back right? Right?????????

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How does this make you feel robots? I'm not catfishing either.
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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what am I looking at here
ORIGINAL
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>>38769372
My popularity on the hot or not app. It's similar to tinder except with more swipes and less great looking people.
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>>38769352
Thanks for asking how i feel about this topic, long story short i feel sad how i can be 6 foot, work out so great body, but a fucking ugly face and shitty light brown hair if i do not use gel/clay/or wax... But thanks for asking

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>create new Tumblr account using a throw away email
>start catfishing in familiar waters, often finding the same fish because they're kinda willing to believe anything if you act slutty and intelligent enough
>finish fapping
>delete account due to disgust at myself and others
>repeat a few weeks later after regular porn gets boring
>my soul corrodes a bit more from lying to strangers on the internet

Who else /complex masturbation habits/ here?
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38769349
Explain your process. Who are you catfishing? Who are you posing as?
>>
>have tumblr account where I so things
>me and this other guy always get into chats
>guy is constantly deleting and making new accounts
>probably thinks he's pulling one over on me but his prose is distinct
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>>38769375
Various Tumblr blogs with credulous yet engaging owners
I either pose as a curious but open minded virgin girl or a virgin hunter.
I present myself either way as intelligent and sexually liberated when I'm really neither if those things. And I'll weave elaborate lies about sexual exploits to impress them

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You now have the power to grow or shrink anyone (including yourself) with no side effects. What do you do?
54 posts and 11 images submitted.
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I shrink people who I think are unworthy of existence to the size of bugs.
Most I let fight it out, if they're especially shitty I squish them myself.
If I see a manlet I'll subtly add a few inches to his height.
If certain trannies can prove they aren't total cunts, this is like 1% of them, I'll make them woman sized.
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>>38769336
nice try fetish freak :)
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>>38769336
turn into a huge giant and and demand to become president or else i will crush everyone in charge, then fix our society

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anyone else here have a shy bladder?

Want to join the military but i'm afraid i'll freeze up and not be able to go at basic.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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not really, but i am scared ill get a boner in the showers and people will get the wrong idea
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When I get pee shy I start listing as many website names as I can in my head as quickly as possible and that helps me. Or you could do math problems or something similar. Maybe you could try that Op
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>>38769256
I am. I just go into a stall and pee. I flush the toilet then I can start peeing while it's flushing.

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>emoji movie releases
>people joke about how bad it is
>people ask their friends "hey, what if we saw it ironically?"
>millions of people eventually see it
>highest-grossing movie of all time
>people see it so much that they actually start to like it
>the media is inflated with more emoji movies and tv shows
>new religion focusing on emojis
>emojism is the fastest growing religion in the world
>humans eventually evolve into emojis
>the land is painted yellow in order to appease the emoji gods
>humans partake in a mass suicide in order to be with the emoji gods

The end of humanity has come sooner than expected.
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38769241
Emojis aren't even the tip of the iceberg.
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>>38769241
The beginning is actually correct. People don't realize that paying to see movies, even if it's just to mock them make them get money, and since the rats at hollywood only care about money, we'll keep getting these shit movies over and over again because it works everytime.
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>>38769241
Idiots. I saw the Emoji Movie ironically. But what you have to do is buy a ticket for another movie that starts around the same time, and go watch the shit movie ironically.

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hey guys so I feel like whenever someone uses the word "normie" on here to describe someone who isn't a robot many of the normies here mock them for using the word. Can we please brainstorm a new word that means the same as normie but won't be instantly regarded as cringy?
19 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38769231
Normalfag.
Only normalfags use normie as a way to not offend people and to be able to use it on reddit. Just stick with normalfag and we're good.
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>>38769359
>telling a newfag how to fit in
>>>out
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>>38769359
Normalfag is even less effective than normie

For all my robots who have dated, or are currently dating...

Do you think it is Possible to save a relationship?

If a girl likes you and you date, then a few months later she begins losing her feelings for you because, say, you are an autist and have an emotional breakdown in front of her. And let's just be hypothetical and say this breakdown was about your last relationship which ended 2 years ago and your fear of her hurting you in the same way. And you let her see you cry (i would be cringing so hard right now if this wasn't hypothetical)

Is it possible to prove to her that you're a man, when you have shown her the contrary?
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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she probably thinks you like the other girl still, if anything you hurt her feelings and she probably doesnt want to get involved
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>she's not willing to cry with you
Sounds like a right cunt.
I started a relationship on similar grounds of being fucked-up about an ex and she's just kind of hold me as I cried. When somebody gives a shit about you you can actually "b urself" as cliched as it is, around them.

So tell that girl to fall down an up escalator of AIDS cock, forever tumbling down rancid sore-covered dick until she dies.
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>>38769216
if shes made up her mind about the relationship and losing feelings for you then theres probably not much hope left. Usually when a girls mind is made up she's pretty set on it.

Dont lie to yourself about things working out and get out of this relationship now and save yourself getting more attached

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Would joining a video game club at university help me break out of my avoidant shell?
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38769168
You'd be surrounding yourself with people still stuck in their shells I presume
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>>38769168
It didn't really help me since they were a lot of SJW normies or total beyond help autists who spend all their time at club orbiting the like 2 weeb girls present. Some guy got all in my face because I went no holds barred in melee on the girl he was orbiting.

Maybe there will be cool guys at your school's club though, you should try it out.
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There's an anime club at my school. How awful do you think it'd be? I need social interaction

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What are your most hated kinds of people?
Mine are those people who are always saying shit like
>"omg i hate people ugh why do i have to socialize
then immediatley socialize for hours with a friend
9 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>38769160
Without a doubt, Jews and virtue signallers. Jews are more of a macroscopic thing, I don't deal with them directly but still dislike them.

Virtue signalling assholes on the other hand are everywhere. Especially the Ones on this board. Every suicide thread is full of them. Granted, the person who makes a suicide thread is probably doin it for attention, the normies that go there and are like "naw man, you matter to me", "you've got so much to live for" etc make me sick

Honestly , fuck off
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>>38769160
People that will deny anything that is seemingly "negative" and will instead live in their own fantasy land. The fucking ignorant masses.
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people who act like the world owes them something


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