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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6508. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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I can't even get one girlfriend
and people got, like


33 posts and 1 images submitted.
They don't have 5 girlfriends they have 5 bitches.
A bitch is someone you just fuck but a girlfriend is someone that actually understands you and loves you (and wants to fuck you romantically)
If 5 anon above gets a gf.
if 2 we all die virgins

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Do I have one hell of a greentext for you

>be me
>Wake up
>Decide to go catch the bus
(To uni)
>Thinking minding my business
>Some old guy sits behind me, he smells of cracked skin and broken corn.
>Whistling a whistled tune if days in the past long gone.
>As i sat there listening to the jaunty tune of disappointed redemption that was when i noticed someone sat next to me... My god i thought to myself is she the one?
>That was when i first saw ""her" as i didn't know the name

31 posts and 2 images submitted.
Please don't continue
i mean it sucks so far but you might as well finish it
I guess I should at least see it to the end

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Most of these spergs out here are complete dipshits when it comes to their girl and women in general. Half the time when I see a chick with her man, I get this overwhelming sense to get her to cheat on him with me.

Currently I'm trying to pull this off with a thick cutie that came to a house party I threw. I know SHOULD feel bad and I SHOULD stop, but the thrill of me makes me pursue. I dont care about the whole "she cheats with you then she'll blah blah" meme cause I dont want to date her, I merely wish to fill her mouth with my dick and then watch her kiss her bf. After that I move on to the next. Sorry if this is gonna trigger most of you moral lovers.
16 posts and 1 images submitted.
Chad... This isn't your board. GTFO
oh trust me, I'm not a Chad. I just have the mentality. Thank you though for calling me one. I'll take that as a mini win

>asks a question.
>Answers it himself.

Hello narcissism, my old friend. How you been?

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When are you going to have your redemption arc?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Whenever ww3 starts
When it's to late
i'd rather have an obnoxious twitter meme perpetuated by self-hating autists-in-denial who have taken their denial to such an extreme that it is itself autistic

no i wouldn't

Let's see how my fellow robots are rated.
>inb4 not mine
>inb4 ree
16 posts and 12 images submitted.
I know you retards are too stupid to type so here's a link.
Ugly robot reporting in
Don't worry anon. 56% means you're above average!
50% being average.

Tfw 6' 4" half black but no gf

Height advantage is a meme
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
>OP is lying to us
>All other OPs claiming you people taking all the women
>Japan has developed a Black man fetish
>half black
There's your problem

Also on a serious note, height only matters if you're neurotypical and socialise
Failed normies need not apply.

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When I get nervous I sweat.
I have had a fungus on my pubes since 17.

This fungus makes them brittle and crusty when dry.

But when sweat is introduced.
Hell crawls forward.

The pubes infected literally swell with some sort of grime and change into a translucent straw color.
They are incredibly slimey to the touch.

When I get nervous, spaghetti actually manifests "in my pocket".

I will not live a monster.
35 posts and 9 images submitted.
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take a fucking shower holy shit
Hair remover.
Use hair remover and go to a fucking doctor what the fuck?
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laughing my original ass off

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Last text a girl sent you

This girl makes me so happy, gives me hope in life and motivates me to be a better version of myself. I love her.
115 posts and 39 images submitted.
translation please.

jeg velding ha tror gjennom ting og gjor vil? deg mitt!
I deleted her from my phone so I didn't break down and drunk text her in the middle of the night in a moment of weakness. Then later found her number planning to get back in touch with her but never did.

But the last text from her was probably a pic of her dumb ass guinea pig.

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>asianbot, 5'7, with tiny penis
>no self-confidence, never kissed or even touched a girl
>spent most of childhood alone, little social life due to strict parents
>spent first 2 years of uni being shut-in with barely any friends or social life
>met shy virgin indian girl and started to like her but got friendzoned
>after 1 year we finally started dating
>got accepted to canadian medical school
>finally got laid
>goodbye forever r9k, it's been good.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
Gentlemen he made it
fuck off normie faggot. this is the last reply you'll ever get on here.
You'll be back, trust

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Is masturbating bad for you or is that just a bullshit lie? I want to attempt nofap.
21 posts and 3 images submitted.
Nofap isba stupid ass meme that's entirely placebo.
True but that being said compulsive masturbation is bad and so is porn addiction.
It's fine if you don't do it constantly. Porn is what's bad for you.

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Honestly, what do you guys do when you feel so shitty that you feel like suffocating?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
unoriginal solution
I used to have this feeling very often.
Basically just wait for it to pass.
Watch stupid videos. Punch the wall. Cry.

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I'm a ledditor with almost 200,000 karma. AMA
16 posts and 1 images submitted.
I have no idea what that means, and I'm sure most people here don't either. So you can start with that.
Would you like to stop the formation of a one World Currency?
Why or why not?
Do you think we will see a World Currency in our lifetime?
Are you that poemforyoursprog guy?

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>"*sigh* i'm bored"
>closes 4chan
>opens new tab
>clicks on 4chan bookmark
>the cosmic ballet goes on

what are some other sites i can waste my life away on?
12 posts and 5 images submitted.
also i love you guys, just felt like saying that
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>the cosmic ballet goes on
that's cute af
Have you tried 4chan

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Why haven't you all killed yourselves yet? Do you still have blind faith that one day you will magically turn yourself around?

12 posts and 3 images submitted.
My mother told me she loves me and doesn't want me to die.
I know I will. Fuck, I don't even like /r9k/ or its commonly held beliefs, but you guys know what it's like to be lonely.
dude i dont like the thought of being able to think after shooting yourself with a shotgun even if it is hust a few seconds and plus i cant really picture me dying that easily, like id probably live even with a gunsgot wound to the head because it wasnt aimed perfectly or someshit.

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>running errands with sister
>we get hungry so we go to a fast food place
>tell her what order I want and she tells me I can sit down and she'll bring the food when it's ready
>order is ready
>she replaced my regular fries with curly fries
>have never ordered curly fries in front of her

Why would she assume I wanted curly fries? Who actually likes curly fries? They're either overseasoned or bland, but always too greasy.
25 posts and 2 images submitted.
they look kinda neat tho
did you throw you diaper and piss jugs at her?
she should know better
i like them curly friends

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