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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1498. page

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File: feels.jpg (55KB, 500x521px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>tfw you realize family is everything
31 posts and 10 images submitted.
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>>38736223
Would you mind telling me your reasoning behind how you came to this realization?
>>
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>>38736223
wholesome robots are best robots
>>
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>>38736223
>basically perfect family
>cant stand being around them at all

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ITT: autistic things you do

>submerge my dick in the toilet water when I pee so it is completely silent
34 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>38736139
>>submerge my dick in the toilet water when I pee so it is completely silent

ew
>>
Sometimes I like to pinch the end of my foreskin closed and pee in it so it swells up like a balloon.
>>
>pinch tip off as I piss
>prostate gets slightly stimulated as entire urethra swells from urine

anyone do this?

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Que se siente ser un robot en estas tierras tercermundistas?
316 posts and 72 images submitted.
>>
Vai tomar no cu fila da puta


Original asf
>>
get the fuck out of here you fucking nigger monkey fucks
>>
Hell on earth

well its more hellish than usual but still

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>cashier tells me to have a nice day
>intentionally have a horrible day

who /DEVILISH/ today?
31 posts and 14 images submitted.
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>>38736123
>doctor asks me if i am well
>tell him im great
>arent actually great
>>
>>38736123
>go to house party
>unplug the fridge and freezer while everyone is drunk

SOMEBODY STOP ME
>>
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>>38736123
>go on tf2
>every time you et a kill type "baddie down"

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>halo 2 was released 13 years ago
>gears of war released 11 years ago
>simpsons move released 10 years ago
29 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>38736108
>3 crappy things are a decade old
Kill yourself
>>
>>38736151
you have shit taste fampai
>>
>>38736314
>OP was released 15 years ago

Don't like women with cocks? Bigot.
6 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38736103
I wish my cock was that big. wow.
>>
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holy fuck I want to suck that
>tfw when no futa mommy gf
>>
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>>38736335
>you will never be surrounded by sweaty, musky mommy cocks

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Congratulations anon! We took a look at your resume and decided to give you an in person interview.

So...lets get right into the questions shall we!

>Tell me a little about yourself. Are you currently going to school?

>What are some of your biggest weaknesses?

>Give me an example of a time you have had to deal with a stressful situation, and how you got past it

>Tell me a time you had a conflict, and how you overcame it

>And finally, out of all the other candidates in this thread, why should we hire you?
22 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>38735842
That spacing really hurts my eyes

also mummy tendies ree
>>
I graduated 8 years ago.
Life skills.
Life is too stressful so I holed up in my room for nearly a decade.
Been bullied by Chads since I was born. I am passive let them have their way with me.
I will be your company bitch boy, I won't get uppity when given tasks, or threaten to take anyones job.
>>
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>Tell me a little about yourself. Are you currently going to school?

Dropped out because I could not afford it.

>What are some of your biggest weaknesses?

Don't know when to stop when it comes to making sure whatever task I'm assigned needs to be complete to perfection.

>Give me an example of a time you have had to deal with a stressful situation, and how you got past it

Customer got in my face yelling about his printer issues. I was calm and told him we could work through it together and get it fixed. We got it fixed.

>Tell me a time you had a conflict, and how you overcame it

Had an issue with an employee. Well, they had an issue with me. They didn't like that I was able to lead the group better than they could. They talked to their manager and the manager gave them a talk and I was given a promotion within 6 months.

>And finally, out of all the other candidates in this thread, why should we hire you?

My skills and this company are a perfect match. I believe we can both benefit from each other. I look forward to working for this company if I'm selected.

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HA HA HA HA HA HA . YOU'LL *FR*KIN* LAUGH WHEN YOU GET IT.
15 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38735803

I really don't get it, pls explaion
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>>38735803
Sneed's Fuck and Chuck
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>>38735803
It wasn't funny because I looked too hard for innuendos in Feed and Seed so now that sounds dirty to me too.

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>he actually believes the official story for 9-11
Tell me anon, why do you still believe the Jewish lies? What would it take for you to see the light?
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38735782
I'll believe your 9/11 story if you eradicate the Jews
>>
why does it matter?
will the truth about 9/11 bring the victims back?
will it solve our collective problem of loneliness, our desire to understand our realer selves or overcoming our weaknesses?

does posting on an uzbek horticulture enthusiast website about how jews did 9/11 make you a happy person?
>>
>>38736063
There were no victims. Except the Afghans, Iraqis, Libyans and Syrians.

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>tfw nothing can change the nature of a man
19 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>38735749
Money seems to do pretty job of it. Most people would not dress up as the statue of liberty and twirl a sign at oncoming traffic. They would for a paycheck though.
>>
I'd say "nothing EXTERNAL can change the nature of a man". It all has to be coming from inside. Without that, nothing will change.

>>38735922
I wouldn't say money does it, really. Just because you pay someone to twirl a sign, you're not changing their true nature. Once they go home for the day or if the job ends, they are still the same person.
>>
>>38736710
What about people who kill for money?

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How exactly does one get a belly gf lads?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38735740
What the fuck is a belly gf? Are you some disgusting degenerate cuck?
>>
>>38735763
A girl with belly fat (not OP)
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>>38735740
imma need to see some bics

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My failed normie friend is getting wrecked by his girlfriend. He spends all of his money on her and she hasn't given him one gift. She says she's not supposed to. How do I help my friend? He's attached to her because he's never had a girlfriend before. Is this what relationships are like?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38735719
Just let him get fucked. Grown men don't like their friends messing with what they believe is their private lives. He'll learn his lesson and come back.
>>
something, something horse water
>>
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>>38735719
>He's attached to her because he's never had a girlfriend before. Is this what relationships are like?

Healthy relationships? No, definitely not. The girl seems like an entitled cunt if she expects a sugar daddy under the guise of a committed relationship.

>She says she's not supposed to. How do I help my friend?
As your friend, express your worry about him and the girl. Keep it honest, but personable as a friend confiding.

How is she as a person? As friends, I'm assuming you've met and probably hung out with her a couple times by this point.

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Hey robots can i have some more of these chad memes?
9 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38735685
hahaha nice meme I love now make me a handjob plz
>>
>>38735685
Someone needs to make "the virgin jpg vs THE CHAD PNG"
>>
>>38735685
>some mentally ill shut-in spent time and effort drawing penises

He's probably the same dude claiming traps arent gay.

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Reminder that if you dislike a certain kind of food you are not an adult.
20 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>38735674
I don't care, courgettes are shite, fuck the police.
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>>38735699
nah, bake em with some olive oil and grated cheese and they're awesome
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>>38735818
>needing cheese to get your veg down
Found the manchild

File: 1497631180623.jpg (192KB, 466x545px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Finish the sentence:
I wish I was ...
58 posts and 13 images submitted.
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special, you're so very special.
>>
It's "I wish I were"
>>
impregnating a woman right now


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