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>you are walking deel innawood
>See pic related
What do?
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>>35275827
>*opens packet of eggs*
>heh...
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>>35275827
>Unzips dick
Time to lose my virginity
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>>35275851
I've been reading this green text story about the bowl of eggs for 4 years now and I still don't get it.
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hahahahahahaha really makes me think
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Thank you for the speedy translation my amigo
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>>35275816
>mfw it's all in first year spanish but I only understood half of it
Damn I'm shit at this
Did she have a male roommate, but then she killed him?
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>>35276120
no problemo my friend
>>35276162
basically yes
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>tfw trust issues won't let me meet new people or make friends
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>>35275751
You're right to have trust issues. People have laid their sins on me. I keep their shit buried. As soon as I tell them shit what do they do? They tell everyone. And I only find out until it's already happened 20 times before. Then I get made fun of. Then I cut all contact.
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>>35275840
Yeah that's what I'm talking about.
I'm always trying to be as vague as I can get away with because I'm afraid the other person is going to turn their back on me and use what I told them as ammunition against me.
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normies are no better than dogs
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>mfw i fuck up a normie's day
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>>35275715
How? Greentext it anon.
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>>35275715
Mfw I fuck up my own day before a normie has a chance to
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92 years - 2 days
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both will die
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hahaha that kid is gonna be autistic as fuck
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Can you fucking imagine living for 92 years? I'm 22 and I feel like I've lived too long already. No way I'm going another 70 I'll kill myself first.
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You save a wizard from getting hit by a truck. As a reward, he offers you a magic ring. Which one do you take?
>The ring of double sleep
When wearing this ring, the time you spend sleeping has a double effect. For example, sleeping for 4 hours with this ring will give you the effect of 8 hours sleep.
>The ring of no bad body odor
Upon wearing this ring, your body will not emit any negative odors. Your farts won't stink, your sweat won't smell, no bad breath.
>The ring of no balding
While wearing this ring, your head won't go bald. It will still become grey with age as normal.
>The ring of the Master Gardener
>Touching a dying plant while wearing this ring tells you what the plant is suffering from. Whether it's lack of sunlight, water, nutrients, a sickness, parasites, etc. If the plant is healthy already, it tells you what would make it's conditions more optimal
>Dual rings of togetherness
A set of two rings. Wearing either of these rings will draw you towards the other ring, no matter where in the world it is, you will always know it's direction. Both rings can be used by a separate person, both people can always find each other.
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Together ring
Leave it at home so I always know how to come back
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The gardening one.
I'm a gardener.
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Double sleep is fucking top tier as hell. Especially if you work out. You would just always feel great.
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Ask someone who just swallowed their own cum for the first time anything
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>>35275630
I've always had the dignity to dispose of my own cum, like I dispose of my own piss and shit. What made you decide to eat your excrements?
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>>35275630
What took you so long?
Tortellini
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That is a really nice picture, can I save it?
>listening to music
>song about love/relationships/etc
>make up a fantasy world where any of this shit applies to me
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just listen to giles corey and think about killing yourself
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>>35275597
>He listens to music with lyrics
Get out, normo.
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>>35275597
>looking up chill hop instrumentals on youtube
>every song, playlist, mixtape has title relating to loneliness
>large amount specifically evoke love and gfs
>think i can still fool myself into thinking the songs are about something else
>fucking voice sample of a girl saying "i dont love you anymore" tacked onto the first song
Why must i be reminded every waking moment of the day
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>tfw you wasted your most cute years trying to get a girlfriend
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>tfw faggots will never be massacred
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>>35275569
How do you get perky tits when you're a guy?
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>>35275569
So much fucking this. I should have discovered this meme 8 years ago, not now.
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What do you think Death feels like?
My comment is very unoriginal.
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>>35275555
nice quads
probably bad but then ok
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At best: whatever afterlife you believe in
At worst: Imagine pre-birth. Seems scary but you'd have no concept of time and you won't even be conscious at all
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>dating a fairly attractive stacy
>she's pretty out of my league but took virginity so she's attached
>she's a social media whore and I tell her from the start not to post relationship bs about us
>she doesn't
>break up with her last month
>she gets a new bf in 2 weeks
>they're spamming Instagram and fb with their shit already and it's only been like a month
Here's where it gets hmmm
>the guy is more attractive than me, OK that's fine they are about equal to each other
>the guy posts his profile pic as them together
>suddenly hundreds of likes and comments about "holy shit dude I look up to you know" "HOW DID YOU GET A GIRL LIKE THAT"
>nobody said shit to me about us probably because nobody knew or cares
>she's not even that good looking
It's like I won an event, threw the gold medal away and some guy is getting praised for digging it out of the trash and wearing it. I don't even care that he's dating her, but the fake posturing like he's a god is quite frankly pissing me off
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It's OK. You're better off for not using people and your relationships with them as a bargaining chip for attention and praise. Normie are such moral trash for using ach other as ends to their selfish means.
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Fucking NORMIES GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA AND LIVE YOUR FUCKING LIVES
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>>35275518
I understand your feelings, OP. I'm not a successful man by any means but I'm carving out a decent living in a sunny, warm place.
If I had an Insta, I could fill it with photos of sunsets, beaches, snow-covered peaks, me doing rad shit like rock climbing 250 m-walls or Just going for a sunny Sunday walk when most of my friends are stuck in rainy gray winter.
I stalk their profiles online and once a year someone will post a photo of them on the beach and drown in approval. I'm like "bitch I do that every day".
It irks me because I suspect everyone thinks I'm a loser, especially girls.
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Is being a NEET the ultimate 'fuck you' to the jews?
Think about it. Theres no system if we dont play the game
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Nah, being a neet without money is miserable.
If you're a wealthy neet you're lucky.
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>>35275473
the ultimate fuckyou to the jews is outdoing them in normie-combat
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Excuse me /pol/, Drumpf here. I don't know what I'm doing and I need your help. So I wanted to paint the Washinton monument orange, but then this nasty woman in my administration told me that I can't do that without congressional approval. I told her: "How can these lightweights tell me what I can or can't do? Excuse me, I'm pretty sure Donald Drumpf is the president! Sad!", and then I of course grabbed her by the pussy and told her to go back to mommy. You won't belieave what happened next! She decides to kick me right in my orangesack. I was planning to impregnate Ivanka today! Horrible! Anyhow, so this gave me a tremendous panic attack. *SNIFF* The greatest! And as all of you may know, including the haters, I get diarrhea when I'm in panic. *SNIFF* So I started to defecate all over the place. The oval office, I filled it. I filled the whole room with my Doodoo Dumps. The oval office turned brown! I though this was over with when the Kenyan left. Even Daddy Putin was there in the oval office with me, and he told me "Donnie, I'm dissaputinted in you. I is not allowing you to give me da blowjob" Even congress was there, and they said "Yeah... this is the only paint job you get to do." I started crying and took out my phone to tweet: "How DARE they not approve? This has never happened in the HISTORY of the United States of Tr... I mean: America! SAD!"
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>>35275452
christ dude fuck off just let the man run a country
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>>35275452
Hahahahaha funny! You should post this on reddit, they love that kind of stuff!
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https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5xaw4h/whats_the_big_genetic_f_you_you_got_from_your/
>this is what normies think "bad genetics" are
Ungrateful fucks. Come back when you're a 5'1 22yo beta social anxiety voicelet agrophobic baby-face ugly chinlet nignog khhv.
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You sound like a demisexual genderfluid polygraphic attack helicopter supreme.
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>>35275442
forget to add cannot grow any facial hair
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Will fascism rise again in Europe?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRSlLAcKxc4
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>>35275404
It is inevitable. The pendulum is going to swing harder than ever.
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>>35275499
VERY good Spurdo
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>>35275404
I hope so, it's been too long since we went over there and fucked them up