what are your best pickup lines? joke or even autistic dont care. i need them FAST
>>35634840
Roses are red
Get in the van
>>35634840
Hey girl you have sum' nice jewels right there, how do you manage to see past them if they are on your eyes?
>>35634840
Pickup lines are useless, just be good looking, its not hard.
Just bee yourself.
Post comfy games
I'll start
chilling with the lesbians at heavens peak fort
>tfw she wants dat ass
chilling at a beach with my qt pawn
gonna get some good duchess pussy
What's the appeal of bukkake?
>>35634738
dunno. seems hot to bust a nut on a girl's face. that's just upping the ante on it.
I'll fucking shoot my load down your gullet
>>35634738
It's humiliating, nigga.
here's a story about how my dentist appointment went couple minutes ago:
>get to dentist
>my gums aren't healthy
>my braces will be taken off
>braces get taken off after listening to horrifying screech of the drill they have
>it gets taken off, the dentist cleans the remains
>now taken to the room right next to it to get it "waxed" up and cleaned even better
>doctor keeps stabbing my gums
>eyes water up
>take it like a robot
>no wax
>????.jpg
>that too gets done
>next up is getting inner braces or whatever to keep my teeth in place and for not them to go back to how they originially were
>cutie dentist appears out of nowhere
cutie dentist trimmed my gums when i had braces and had a lot of problems due to braces, even got my gum stuck in between braces. She told me that it would be much easier if she could use the laser to cut, but couldn't due to braces.
>other dentist asks if she wants to take a look
>she takes a look
>super close face
>heart pounding
>they inform her that if i clean good enough it might get better
>she says she will clean wax it
>stand up talk to head dentist
>get time and date for when i should come
>i try being very friendly this time since i fucked up huge last time
>make joke about how if we will be able to use the laser cutter this time
>she gets confused
>she replies very seriously at how we can use the laser cutter since the braces are gone
>try to smile it off
>ask if that's all and confirm the date once more
>casually walk out
>fucking run to my home
why the fuck can't i talk to the opposite sex and why is it so hard to make jokes
I just wanted to get out of robot-mode for once and it just doesn't happen
What the fuck am i supposed to do?
>>35634705
>good read
If it just the opposite sex you've got trouble with then... what I feel is that, you think there's some shot you have to fuck up.
But there's none. You have to let go of that delusion. There will never be anything more between you than dentist and client.
Just be best client you can be, and you won't be the worst part of her day. Isn't that enough?
>>35634775
dubs never lies i guess
>>35634805
I think it only counts when they're at the end desu
Wake up, wagecuck. You'll lose those previous hours of freedom by sleeping in.
>>35634692
>previous
YOU FUCKING IDIOT! NO WONDER YOU CAN'T GET A JOB!
>>35634692
Jokes on you. Today's my Friday, just had a fat paycheck and spent my birthday with a stripper. Made her wet and got a bj during my dances. Overall good day to be a wagecuck
>>35634987
Sorry. I kill threads.
Did you manage?
I managed but I didn t like it
I tried to but it literally impossible for me.The most I can manage is shoot cum into my mouth
>>35635676
nasty, but that protein tho
>>35634666
>tried stretching to be more flexible
>realise it's impossible because dick too small
What's mommy making for Sunday dinner?
New Dad makes dinner on Sundays
>>35634613
Lasagna
I don't like it , tho.
>>35634816
when mommy won't get you tendies for sunday dinner
Welp, It is said that on monday, March 20, the moon will collide with the Earth. What will you do on your final day?
>>35634611
fap and watch some shitty anime
maybe play some video games if I feel like it
>>35634629
Will you sleep when the moon approaches the Earth, anon?
>>35634611
Arson, loot, rape, pillage if we're being honest.
>this once full of failed abortions "board" is completely devoid of them now
>full of a bunch of shitposters and newfags today
LMAOing at the spergs who still stick around
>>35634559
This board is proof women ruin everything they touch
Oh and trapfags
>>35634572
traps try to pretend they're women anyway.
so it's no surprise they're just as poisonous to communities
>>35634559
you feel bad, dont you? shitposter?
we couldve been the fourth reich
Anyone want to play some chess?
https://lichess.org/f1Ko1SaX
I'm not that good, so no tricks!
Whites go first, thas Waycist!!!!!! Muh feels
https://lichess.org/dtnzwrRC
Is chess the true patrician sport?
>mfw I checkmate anon :^)
>can't stop gaining weight
>tfw gained 27 lbs this year
>tfw bmi is now >25
What the fuck, I want off this ride
>>35634394
>Drop down to 160
>Now at 180
Fuck having a sweet tooth
>>35634356
inb4 normies saying "just don't eat so much"
ITT: What happened to the tittycow in your year anons?
>>35634328
I raped her by accident
Why do we have to have this thread every day?
>>35634341
I almost raped her by accident
Do you think women should have the right to vote? And if not, what would the impact be on democratic society in which only males are allowed to vote?
>>35634242
do you think blacks should be allowed to vote?
do you think non-land owners should be allowed to vote?
>>35634270
Greetings Cleisthenes.
The very question is flawed, because if men in general are assumed to have the vote, women WILL get it very quickly.
It was never "men" who "allowed" "women" to have the vote, women simply demanded it and got it.
It's just a basic red-pill truth, that women always have vastly more social and political power than men, as individuals and collectively.
Who else here /pure/? :^)
>tfw have never smoked weed or done any harder drugs
>tfw have never smoked a cigarette or drank alcohol
>tfw don't even drink coffee or use curse words
>tfw am a virgin as well (of course) and have never kissed/held hands with a girl
I like how you act like that's something to be proud of, but like, you're here and the people that do do those things are out having fun and enjoying themselves and maybe even laughing about you.
I cuss but I'm trying to stop and I occasionally drink coffee. Sweet tea is my go to vice, if you can even call it that.
I'm technically a virgin as I have never had actual sex. Getting BJs and Anal doesn't count, does it? Hope I'm still pure in god's eyes now that I'm working on getting more religious.
>>35634168
Do you feel pure?
I feel really dirty
an /r9k/ help me figure out what is up with me, my bro, and my Dad? Don't tell me to go to a therapist. Fuck those, too many fakes.
I get crazy sometimes, happened since I was young. I get these weird ass bursts of energy that make me feel like I could kill a tweaker and scream at the top of my lungs in triumph. On normal occasions, I'm pretty well mannered. No depression or shit like that. I sometimes vent this energy by yelling random things into the air in intermittent bursts when amome
My father and brother both do this as well, although neither are curious as to why we do. We just do.
My father also has extreme anger issues. Brother as well--probably me too, but I never take things seriously enough. My dad used to beat my mom btw. They are divorced now.
I also get these weird intense shivers. Usually when too much stuff is going on, like I have too much adrenaline.
Any suggestions on how to figure this out? I'd go to /adv/ but it's glitched.
Also, when I got adrenaline like this, I can't sit still. I was just ranting to two of my bros about how I could knock the shit out of someone, albeit they were both stoned so they were just laughing. Meanwhile I was shouting the lyrics to rage against the machine like a jackass. Felt on top of the world though.
>>35634159
manic-depressive? bipolar? but also you sound like I was at 15.
I will remind you that this site is for 18 years and older. If you are under that age stop browsing this site immediately and don't return until the age of majority.
>>35634159
could be on the autism spectrum a bit, I think it's from all the flame retardant chemicals on furniture these days. either burn to death, or be a little weirder than the average bear. Or maybe we're all weird and the retarded are just less afraid to show it. idk, idc.