Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5555. page

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I got described as the hot black friend but she still my mate over me even though she thought he was gay. what did she mean by that?

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I have to wait until 4 to get weed

I'm never gonna make it robots

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How were you bullied robots? What did they do to you?

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She just told me hat, that it excites her that I call her Mommy, that I suck her boobs, act like a child, etc...
What to do ?

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>like a guy
>he doesnt like me back

Being female and ugly is pain.

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Can you guys fill this out without lying?
https://calcsd.bitballoon.com

Apparently im bigger than 94% of guys out there volumewise with my 6"x5.5" dick which i always considered small. Now either this site is bullshit made to make feel people better about their dick OR i am finally over the insecurities about my dick.

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You know that kind of ass that some girls have where it's big and pretty nice but kind of just a little too flabby, and then they stuff it into a pair of jeans?

It's like Big Ass + Extra Ass (For Ass Lovers) + Stuffed into jeans that would be pushing it even for a Medium ass

Not quite a fat ass, not one of those disgusting hypertrophy asses for hardcore hypertrophic ass fetishists. I'm just talking a nice big ass that any normal guy would like, really "Big Ass" on the upper end of the normal spectrum of ass appreciation, with a LITTLE extra more, just pushing the boundaries of the spectrum, and then crammed into a pair of tight pants

Does anyone know what I mean? Sometimes it's a little more than the jeans can handle, and so the end result isn't a picture-perfect ass that an artist might draw, but that actually makes it better because it humanizes the ass and makes you realise it's a REAL ass, not some cartoon ass, that all that FAT ASS is inside those jeans right in front of you. The kind of ass where when you grab it in real life you get angry because you can't hold enough of it in your hand.

Is there a word for that kind of ass? If I search "big asses" I get retarded niche ass fetishists who want girls that look like their ass has suffered an internal structural collapse, or BBW faggots, or disgusting cartoonish ones. But if I search "nice ass" I get those picture perfect asses that a cartoonist would draw, where it's technically a nice big ass, but it's too taut, it's all too perfect.

Anyway, my point is, I want a great big ass on my face and I hate my life.

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It started early. You had a girl clown at a birthday party. You were enamoured with how unusual she looked. How beautiful the paint was. How you caught a glimpse up her skirt.

Then there was harley, in the older batman cartoons. Something about seeing girls dress as her on Halloween. Something you couldn't understand.

And then there was moxxi. Reminding you of the feelings you had as a youth.

It hit you. You are a coulrophile.

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ITT: claim your serial killer waifu
>pic related

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>tfw so lonely that you give yourself (You)s so you can pretend someone's talking to you

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Fellow robot don't fall for the "self-improvement" meme. It's a lie and i ruined my life.True robot like us are destined to be alone. It's natural selection. We are doomed. We are socially retarded and we can't even think of competing against chads and normies.

Here i post my story
>be me
>20 yo, friendless, virgin with long red-dyed hair faggot
>fell for the "self-improvement" meme here on /r9k
>I got some decent clothes and cut my hair
>started going to the gym
>started to hang out once or twice a month with normie """""friends"""""
>started playing MTG to met nerdy people i could be friend with
>went out the confort-zone to learn to talk more with girls
>stopped lurking on /r9k
>cut videogame time to a bare minumum
>flashforward
>be me
>22 yo, still no real friends, still virgin and no gf
>gained almost no weight because i'm a hard gainer
>spent all my savings to buy normie clothes, gym membership, MTG cards (i quitted after 2 months because everyone at my LGS was a uber normie)
>more depressed then ever
>suicidal thoughts every day


2 years ago i wasn't happy, but on the other and i felt unique and i spent the whole time doing something i loved (playing videogames, lurking here). Now i'm one of them, I'm a falied normie with no hope, a living joke.


Fellow robots i want to hear your stories now. Greentexts are very appreciated

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Anyone else feel like they're constantly living under a mask?

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>Anonnie come and get you lunch sweetums!
>Mommy has been letting this stew in her special oven all day!

PPPPPTTTTTTBBBB *splat* PPPPPBBBBBTTT *splat* *squelch* BTTTTTHHHHHHLLLLLPPPPPTTTTT *THUD*
>Oh my look at all that nummy goodness! be a good little boy and lick mommy's oven door clean before you tuck in!

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So I'm far from earning a "NEET" stats yet
And I wont lie about anything,If you choose to belive it or not.
I'm 19(I know im a youngfag/newfag)
only ben on 4meme for 3 years
I droped out of school when I was 15,and wen to home schooing(online classes,not live ones)
Since then I have become a shut in(I dont mind)
Playing VGs watching TVs TBBT(unironcly)TWD GOT
And a lilttle animoo,audio books etc.
My dads friend has a daughter of the age of 16 now.
A year ago he and his friend was trying their best to hook me up with her.
But I kept rejecting her
Shes butt-fuck-fat-nasty-uglyaf-stacy-wannabe-trash.
not kiding
plus I'm over 18 fuckin Chris hansen fuck me bloody.exe
It died off but now has started up again
I told my father what I thought of her
He said "anon its not all about looks"
I also added that shes fucking dumb as shit.
I told him to tell his friend,That I'm not looking for a gf.
>week later dad asked me if I'm gay
>WTF
>no
>"well anon its okay if ya are"
>after things went up in smoke for an hour,and my mom had joind in
>I said "Id rather marry Karie(My,8/10 sister)than that blob
>Karie was home and I didnt know
>she heard she was listening from the other room
Howd I'd know?
>Later that day she came into the kitchen where I was
>and huged me and said "I'd marry you too anon"
>mom says "Karie!!"in a angry and gaspy voice
>dad in the living room says "for fucks sake anon"
>Now my sis and I go see movies and go to the mall together
>MFW I'm sort of dateing my sister
>MFW she kisses me when parents are not around
>MFW I'm probaly gonna live with sister forever
But its been 4 months now
and the rest of the family is talking about our "relationship"
btw we are not fucking...yet

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Ok so I've never had a serious mental evaluation and I really don't know too much about the nuances between mental disorders but I'm pretty sure a lot of you guys here may be able to give me some kind of preliminary diagnosis. Throughout my life I have considered myself fairly mentally stable although I have been dealing with anxiety for the past 6-7 years or so (panic attacks, constantly aware of my heart beat , trouble breathing some times, pain in chest followed by several visits to the doctor for them to reassure me that nothing is wrong with me). I did have a couple episodes where I could not calm myself down and I was convinced I was going insane when I a lot of coffee but anyways, about a year or two ago I was watching a simulation video on schizophrenia on youtube and it really scared the shit out of me (the idea that you hear actual voices just saying random things or insulting you etc). That night when I went to bed I was totally freaking myself out, I was constantly questioning myself if I was insane. I was really questioning the difference between my inner voice and an actual audio-hallucination and if I heard someone talk in the apartment next door i was freaked out if it was real or if it was me etc. It was difficult sleeping for 1-2 nights but I got over it. anyways fast forward to last week I was trying to really face my fears and smoke marijuana again (it used to give me panic attacks but I have had enough of them and thought that I need to train my mind to face my fears) and it went well for a while, I didn't have such a serious racing heart and I could calm my thoughts and enjoy the highs but then I went on a trip with some friends and for the past week I smoked weed couple times a day for a week and now I'm convinced I've lost control over my mind and thoughts. I'm fairly convinced that I may just have some mild OCD or Anxiety but I seriously cannot control my mind.