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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1323. page

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I've had it, I'm out. My sister just went to a refugee camp and got fucked by some guys she doesn't even know.
30 posts and 7 images submitted.
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At least take out some migrants before you go
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>>38834993
you cant kill yourself before meeting your newphew mohammed
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>>38835037
I found out sometimes she and her friends go together, go into their tents or whatever and have sex parties.

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>all my ancestors had sex
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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your family tree also is riddled with dead ends like you
nobody cares but you
>>
>>38834959

Yo.

HOLD UP.

Are you saying
that
the original Egyptians...

WERE BLASIANS AND SHIT?
>>
>>38835068
Blasians master race

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>tfw my older half brother starts showing up around the house for the first time in years
>after he and the family fell out of touch due to drama with him and his gf
>he ask me what i'm doing this weekend
>nothing as usual
>says we should go to bar with his ghetto large coal black cousin whom i only met 3 times my entire life and do not like
>fuk.jpg
>i passively agree
>even though im awkward as hell around people i don't know

im paranoid as hell now, what do i do robots? My only hope is that i get too drunk to let anything bother me.
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38834944
You answered your own question.Get drunk and let the night flow.
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>>38834944
It's over OP. Time to get BLACKED.
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>>38834944
Get drunk and show your mutalo brother's cousin some spicy /pol/ memes. Extra points if you manage to drop some subtle redpills while they're around you, post results.

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Ever experienced blueballs?
I didn't even think that shit was real until yesterday.

>wake up a little before noon
>think of fapping
>remember those HFO (hands free orgasm) sound files I came across
>lie on my bed, listening to some woman who is likely a hamplanet irl rp sucking me off
>get pretty into it, didn't bust tho
>go to my computer, notice my balls are aching a little
>"do I have blueballs? nah, that's just a myth"
>half an hour passes and the pain begins to build
>google blue balls
>guess I'll just have to wank
>hear the clink of plates
>sister is in the kitchen just outside my room
>fuck
>at this point the pain is unbearable
>begin to feel nauseous
>waddle to the bathroom, feels I've taken a shot to the nuts
>can't think straight
>look at my balls in the mirror, they're huge, and fucking purple
>this is it
>I need to cum
>so much pain I can't even get a boner
>sweating like crazy, resisting the urge to vomit
>my head is on fire, pic related
>pull out my phone and frantically type into google Mia Malkova
>torture my flaccid penis for a few minutes until I start to feel an erection
>bust the most powerful nut I ever have in my life, if that shit was aimed vertically I could have hit the ceiling
>impressed with myself a little
>clean myself off and lie in my bed as the pain begins to subside
11 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38834899
Have your considered that it might be testicular torsion? Look it up.
>>
>>38835223
Nevermind. You would probably be in an hospital if that were so.
>>
>>38835223
I considered that at the time, but my balls were completely fine minutes after I relieved myself so I doubt it. From what I've read of testicular torsion it takes a fair bit of work to untangle those things. Also it was both testicles, testicular torsion is usually only felt in the effected testicle and I highly doubt both got tangled at once.

Guys I need some advice. I know a guy who has a 2015 Mercedes S500, fully paid off and the car has no problems with it. He wants to sign up the car with an insurance company under my name, and in like 6 months, have the car totalled so the insurance company pays me the car's value (around $90k). We then split the money. Is this a full-proof plan? I won't when or how or by whom the car will be totaled. Is this a prospect worth trying? It's a felony but there's a lot of money in it. Please share your thoughts
19 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Nope. I'm alerting the authorities right now so dont even try it.
>>
If you both get found out just be warned that it's likely your friend will put all the blame on to you. Even if this all works I have my doubts he will split the money with you, most likely he'll keep it to himself and again pin the blame on you if you mention anything.

Your choice though.
>>
>>38834726
Don't be an idiot. What do you think the insurance company is going to do to your premiums when they see you have a TOTAL on your record? They are going to be sky high for the rest of your life. Do not attempt this plan.

I believe insurance companies won't even let you insure the car unless it's registered to you or your name is on the title.

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>this originally triggers the roastie
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38834667
>started fucking a trap a few months ago
>now im almost literally full gay(top not bottom so not "really" gay)
>hung out with my fwb(male) tonight
>got dinner(split the bill) sat on the beach and watched the sunset
>didnt even have sex
>just enjoyed each others company and had a good time
Feels fucking good man
Gay guys are more aggressive than women so if your a shy guy its literally just seen as cute
>>
>>38834757
post pic u lucky sob
>>
>>38834757
>enjoying another human's company
Get out.

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How come you guys don't have TINDER SOCIAL????you and a friend could be MATCHING with CUTIE PIES RIGHT THIS SECOND??? What's stopping you??
17 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>38834659
I don't have a mobile phone
>>
>>38834659
post more pics of allison
>>
i dont have a friend

>parents are fighting again
when will it end
18 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
>>38834629
When you an hero, since you're the cause of their problems.
>>
I'm sorry OP. Your thread reminded me that I'm not appreciative enough of the good home life that I had. I wish you the best
>>
>>38834629
When the stress goes away, bro. But, with wealth inequality the way it is and their health care threatened, don't expect it any time soon.

If they support you getting a job, then get one as fast as you can so you can get out as soon as possible.

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My last night on 4chan, share some greentext storys, can't really stop shitposters so go ahead

I don't like least half of you
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38834609
Why last night anon? Are you some """suicidal""" faggot seeking attention?
>>
>>38834631
no just sick of half of you, been on sucide watch and I never complain about my shit here or elsewhere
>>
>>38834686
>been on sucide watch
>aka im an attention seeking faggot
lol how do you fuck up killing yourself i will never understand

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>that one girl who takes the same courses as you at uni
>same girl always is on your mind
>always see her, think she's creeping on you
>but it's just you who creeps after her
>think she smiles at you
>but she's just being nice
>think about what her name and how old she is, but talking to her now would be to awkward because it's been months since you saw her the first time
>be at home alone on 4chin
>she's probably getting banged right now
>build up courage to talk to her
>she's always with a female friend and it'd be too weird if she rejects you and you see her again

Who else is stuck in this omega pattern?
9 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>that girl who works at the campus coffee shop and always gives you extra cream cheese
>she always asks "if you just finished working out" because wearing a sleeveless T-shirt
she will never be mine lads, gonna have to settle for one of my residence girls..
why is life torture lads
>>
>>38834592
You think girls are being fucked every minute of the day? Maybe you are just being a bit delusional.
>>
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>>38834698
> you fantasize about stacey after she gives you extra cream cheese
>Chad is giving her double servings of Cream pie

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>your age
>your refractory period duration

27 years
4 minutes
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38834460
27
varies from a few hours to over a week
>>
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>26
>2 minutes

Fuck this filter.
>>
>>38834460
26

if i havent ejaculated in a week or so, probably around 60 seconds. i cum first time, boner goes down to 80% then it comes back full mast after a minute or so

but if im regularly cumming it probably takes around 10 mnutes to come back

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Here is a tier list of hair colors for the female gender
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Dyed hair is shit, in any variation.
>>
>>38834455
>>Natural red in low tier
Off yourself
>>
>>38834759
This
Of all the shit taste OPs here, you're the shittiest

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For few years I've been pretending as a girl on a various social networks and chats. I erp'd, talked and in a way became "friends" with a lot of males.
Never mentioned that I am and avoided talking with types of guys who'd insist on proofs.
While it sounds gay as fuck, I am not actually attracted to men(except for anime traps), don't want to be buttfucked and even had a girlfriend for a time. What the fuck is wrong with me?
17 posts and 5 images submitted.
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too long so i didn't read but i hope u trip on ur shoelaces
>>
>>38834397
you just want attention it's normal
>>
>>38834397
>What the fuck is wrong with me?
You're an attention seeking closeted faggot

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ITS FUCKIN HOTTER IN MY ROOM THEN IT IS OUTSIDE AT FUCKIN 3AM
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Top floor? It heats up, mine's the same.
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>>38834240
its called your pc
>>
>>38834240
>3 AM
Where do you live anon ? You have no right to complain if you live Britain or in a cold country

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>mom destroyed the hug harvester
6 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>little nephew found the cum fridge
>>
>spinster unspun the STD tapestry
>>
>>38834190
>dad drank from the wank kettle


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