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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6812. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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What's the easiest way to farm (You)'s on any board?
17 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>36230834
Post something interesting that contributes to the board and starts conversation. It's the best way.
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>>36230862
hahaha no
that's not how it works
>>36230834
go on a fast moving board
think up REALLY good b8
make thread of said bait
troll everyone in the thread, etc.
or try that thing where you go
reply to this post or your mother dies in her sleep tonight
>>
Post things like gore or loli on blue boards.

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Im going to loose my V-Card soon. Any tips for the first time?
31 posts and 5 images submitted.
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bump. Im thinking of taking a Viagra just to not feel nervous.
>>
Just be confident and if you need to, take some viagra. Good luck brobot.
>>
I'm a virgin but I read on /fit/ to pull her back and forth instead of moving your hips.

Also some guy said just stick your dick in (moving optional) and play with her clit.

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>tfw all 3 girls you dated became carpet munchers after dating you

I'm not ugly or a complete autist. How did I manage to fuck up so badly?
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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They were lesbians the whole time, don't beat yourself up. If they actually liked men, they wouldn't have dated you
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>>36230787
well i guess it's time for you to start fucking guys
>>
>>36230787
Are you pretty feminine looking?

So, remind me again... What are we here for?
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36230752
to be a part of society and make the rich people richer
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>>36230773
Why not be one of the rich?
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>>36230752
On this board or existence in general?

to the first it's because somewhere down the line we didn't develop how we should have, were maladjusted and don't quite eel comfortable fitting in with everyone else. So we go to a place where it doesn't matter how maladjusted you are.

to the later there really isn't a reason, you gotta make your own.

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Haha hey guys WASUP? This place is so depressing! I'm here to spice up the atmosphere!
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36230736
good for you anon
now go fuck yourself for thinking that you're somehow special enough to change anything on the board of degenerates
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>>36230763
Someone's grumpy!
>>
>>36230763
Alright but seriously bro, you need to chill out :p

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/r9k/ has just been CALLED OUT and EXPOSED by famous actor shia labeouf
56 posts and 10 images submitted.
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Can you link source OP?
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>>36230709
He's right, though. We are what's wrong with society, not the normies.
>>
>>36230721
https://heatst.com/tech/shia-labeouf-is-in-a-cabin-in-rural-finland-and-still-getting-trolled/

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>cut off a piece of saran wrap
>dispense some moisturizing lotion into it
>wrap it over my dick
>hold it on with a rubber band
is this what having a foreskin feels like?
12 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>36230674
nope, you'll never know since your parents decided to mutilate you
>>
I have a foreskin and I do not feel it. jsut as you do not feel not having it.
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>>36230674
no, you're missing the most important part of the foreskin; the frenulum (male clitoris equivalent).

nice try though

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COME WATCH MY STREAM ROBOTS
twitch tv osmurr
14 posts and 1 images submitted.
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advertising is against the rules dipshit
dumb normalfag posting from the phone his mommy pays for
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>>36230675
Spot on description of me and what im doing
>>
>>36230655
pretty cute doubt he is a robot.
but super cute.

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What's it like having friends
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36230649
I wish I had friends. Not origami
>>
Tiring, frustrating, annoying.

t. schizoid
>>
>>36230649

It's alright i guess, kind of annoying sometimes

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ITT: Times you were alpha as fuck

>oneitis confesses her love for me
>tell her to fuck off
96 posts and 17 images submitted.
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>cashier tells me to have a good day
>tell her to fuck off
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>>36230614
Fuck you
Sincerely,
A cashier
>>
>walking past a middle school
>kids at recess
>one kid calls me fat
>say nothing
>open the gate
>walk onto the playground
>go up to the kid
>everybody shuts up
>teachers start running towards me
>kick the kid as hard as i can in the balls
>scream "FUCK YOU FAGGOT"
>kids start freaking out
>kid who mocked me throws up on himself
>sprint away

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I deleted mostly all of the photos that link me to my tripcode. I'm going to be fine.
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
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you're not using a tripcode
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>>36230615
I think that was done on purpose
>>
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>>36230615
I know, my mental breakdown is behind me, anon.

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what up /r9k/

It's been like 4 years since I was last here but I always had a good time on this board so I decided to write up some stuff for yall on how to escape the sad life and become a happy normie

https://pastebin.com/XXg2cvvQ

Will stick around in the thread for a while and answer questions if there are any

Much love to all of you anons out there, I've missed you <3
80 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36230497
How much money do you need to have saved up/earned per year in order to safely move out?
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>>36230671
Depends on where you live/what you do, living costs and rent vary a lot from country to country
If you're a student and there are bursaries from the government for that kinda stuff, it's a lot easier. If your country has an extensive welfare program and support for low-income housing, tap into that. Do your research before moving out.
Two general tips though: unless your family is absolutely shit and you hate living with them, living at home can give you more stability to tackle those self-improvement/personal growth things. Funnily enough, moving out is not as big of a thing as it might seem to you. Yes it's a big step to independence, but it's not necessary/an absolute requirement to move out right away when you're an adult. Don't put that kind of pressure on yourself and feel like others are going to be little you for still living with your parents. What's way more important than what others think is that you personally are in a mentally stable position and a good place to take this challenging step. Either way, you should have some money saved up for deposits etc. and should have a stable source of income before considering moving out, it's stressful enough as it
#2 is that I would encourage everyone who wants to move out to share a flat with other people. Not only does it make things cheaper and more affordable, having other people there can help with mental health stuff (because living on your own can make you feel really lonely and isolate you) and can give you a sense of security (there is someone there who could look after you if you get sick or if you need advice from someone).
With moving out comes so much more responsibility that you have to take on, rent, bills, grocery shopping & cooking, doing laundry, keeping the flat clean, all sorts of tiny stuff that you don't really notice when you're living at home but that really eat into your time once you've moved out
>>
>>36230497
Are you good looking? That's literally my only problem. Is there a solution for that?

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Who else here /never bought a yearbook/?
I didn't want to be embarrassed when no one signs it. Now I just want to look up my 4th grade true love but can't because I don't know her last name.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
I have this same problem except my crush was a year younger than me so I don't have her yearbook.

Honestly had been considering going to the school and asking if they have a yearbook of that year and pretending I need a picture of myself from it or something. But it's probably too late for that now, I'm 21. I miss that girl, she was the only person I ever truly felt like I had a connection with.
>>
>>36230586
Iktf
But look at you then and look at you now. You'd be doing her a favor by not trying to contact her. We're empty shells of men, anon. It's not worth it.
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>>36230479
I got my senior year book. I think I only got 4 people to sign it and the librarian because she was really cool.

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>All of my old friends went on to basically have all their dreams and desires handed to them on a silver platter.
>I have been petty and jealous over it for years. I got left behind in my shitty home town.
>They became successful businessmen, have relationships with 10/10 girls, post all this amazing shit on normiebook, have been rude to my face and looked down on me.
Then suddenly...
>One guy getting a nasty divorce with stacy
>Another lost his job at a major computer company and saved virtually nothing
>One guy ODed on heroine in rehab
>Another is going to prison for stabbing some girl he met at a club
>All of this happened within a couple of months.

Suddenly, my life doesn't seem so bad in comparison. Is this the ultimate fate of normies?
22 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36230382
Actively work to ruin their lives without them knowing. I'm sure they deserve it. They're men after all.
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>>36230382
>Is this the ultimate fate of normies?
And yes, it is. This is what happens to nearly all of them. But if it doesn't, do this: >>36230513
>>
I don't know if he's a normie if he stabbed some broad to be honest with you senpai

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>be 6'2" white muscular male
>all I want is a skinny clingy girlfriend to be able to rap my arms around and cuddle all night
>tfw only fat annoying girls ever like me and flirt with me
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Is your only good feature just being kinda tall?
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>>36230351
When he has no personality, no future, no education, and a felony, but his height starts with 6
>>
The fat girls that talk to me a lot tell me I have a great personality and I'm funny. A few months ago I was at buddies house for a bonfire and one girl told me when we were alone that I was one of the funniest people she's ever met, I was a 8/10 in looks, and a 10/10 in personality. But she was fat and had a used up roastie. So I just laughed it off. I didn't really believe her because if all this is true why don't I have a skinny gf to cuddle with.


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