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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4999. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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What are some feasible ways to just be drunk through the entire work day without getting caught?

My job is is horrible and I'm on the brink of quitting, I need something to stall me just another month or so longer.
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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nobody? please? i'm a desperate man.
>>
drink and then go to work

what do you want us to say?
>>
Splash a shot or two of vodka into a 20oz soda, dumb dumb.

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Daily reminder for all you dicklets
12 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>37365718
Is there one that's more board accurate?

Perhaps titled "A man-pretending-to-be-a-woman's guide"
>>
>>37365718
my dick is 6 inches and i've made women cum multiple times during sex. I'm not disagreeing with this chart
>>
Why are people trying to get others depressed about dick size?

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What the hell am I doing in this world? I don't belong. I'm just a nobody. No one notices when I'm not around and nobody will care when I die. Some people are just meant to be with other people and enjoy life, but me, I'm just not one of those people.
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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I was wondering why god made us so different.

Probably for dank meme production
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>>37365597
Its always been a vague dream of mine to organize a bunch of directionless losers into an anarcho-socialist domestic terror cell that targets capitalist symbols of greed and excess but then i remember im just as lazy and depressed as the rest of you
>>
>>37365707
If you are pro socialism you are already a looser.

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Can robots do this kind of lifestyle?
15 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>only drinks sparkling water

how is this even relevant you pos KYS
>>
the "somehow" is she's bouncing from one sugardaddy to the next

then it can be obvious if a robot can do this
>>
ive been drinking nothing but sparkling water for like 2 years now

i can't drink soda anymore, it's fucking repulsive

Pic related is very true
11 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Just take em, if I had kids with another Asian it would only create little me's and her's.
>>
White guys are the same when they see a white girl dating a nigger. Whites are just being the nigger in this case.
>>
>>37365385

But that's okay because that pairing usually doesn't make manlets.

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I MADE RICE TODAY AND IT TASTED GOOD
14 posts and 8 images submitted.
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proud of u bud
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>>37365330
thanks frendorignals
>>
Good job roboto, now make a trip to /ck/ and report back with an awesome curry rice recipe to try.

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I can't do it robots. I can't work for the rest of my life. What are my options? There has to be more to life besides choosing between being a slave or being a pathetic leech on your parents.
16 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>37365280

>"find a career you love and you'll have to work another day in your life anon!"

Make a few millions from smuggling coke from cuba and retire off the money you make
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>>37365779
thats a terrible idea, id probably die
>>
>>37365280
Find a hobby and get really really good

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>tfw hair is finally long enough to comfortably tie into a pony tail

yass this is so much cooler in the summer

and it's so cute! i love how i look with my hair tied back

what have you all done lately to look just a little bit cuter?
14 posts and 4 images submitted.
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I can't get turned on by posts like this anymore because i know it's probably some faggot trap
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>>37365290
That's the part that get me turned on now
>>
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fuck off you stupid tranny.

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>another qt boy isn't interested.
I just want a bf
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Where would I go about getting a qt boyfriend to snuggle and lewd constantly?
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>>37365218
>>37365091
When did this become fag central
>>
>>37365238
Since always :3

"Half your age plus 7"

Fuck dat noise.
13 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>37365050
>has devoloped boobs and doesn't look like a child

That's the rule. I'm not going to not fuck some hot banging 16 year old because of laws and old made up rules.
>>
>>37365102
>old made up rules
modern society created some fucked up rules that turned everything upsidedown
>>
3rd from the left is patrician tier

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>Can't be banned
>Can samefag without getting caught
>Freedom to move around and do other shit instead of being tethered to a battle station
Who else gets a power high from phoneposting here?
11 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>37364889
People from /g/ can tell of you're samefagging with your phone.
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>>37364889
They permanently banned my lte from this shit so they know
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>>37364925
>Babby's first phonepost

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what acronym or phrase, if said by someone, would convince you without a doubt that they browsed /r9k/?
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37364747
NEET or hikki

Everyone else just says unemployed or bum or something.
>>
Browsing r9k is meaningless, it isn't some special club.
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"GeT oFf MYYY boArd, yOu FucKinG NOrmiE"

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>porn isn't working anymore
11 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>37364677
You've broken your brain and your dick, go without porn for a month or two.
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you have depression
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>>37364695
Yeah OP you need to reboot your dick.

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Is it wrong or immoral to rape traps?
The thought of raping a girl doesn't really do it for me. But raping a trap gets me diamonds. Holding them down until they like it. Lord. Gives me a hard on just thinking about it.
18 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>The thought of raping a girl doesn't really do it for me. But raping a trap gets me diamonds.

I think I know why:
Since traps are males, and your aroused by the concept of raping girly males. You're a faggot
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>>37364859
In the moment aren't we all a little prison gay?
>>
>drive to michigan to visit my cute trap bf
>have a cute date, just dinner and a movie but it's nice
>try putting my hand on his thigh in the theater
>he pushes it off because we're in public
>later in the car do it again, he pushes it off again
>oh well i guess he's just being shy, that's fine
>cuddle up and watch tv at his place
>having a few drinks, i start getting ideas
>making moves, he's kind of resisting a little
>like pushing my hands but i just reach back again
>says he doesn't want to have sex
>i've been waiting so long and i came so far for this
>guilt him into 'just the tip i promise' kek
>working it into his ass, he says it's hurting him
>tells me to stop but that's not gonna happen
>tries to wriggle and move away but he can't
>both my hands on his waist holding him down
>i'm twice his size, he realizes he can't stop me
>get a little carried away and fuck him pretty rough
>he starts crying and begging me to please stop
>just a little more baby i'm almost finished
>cum deep in his tight little ass and roll off of him
>he curls up crying on the bed next to me
>feel kind of awkward so i go take a shower
>come out, he wordlessly goes in the bathroom
>go get food while he cleans himself up
>sulks a little the rest of the night but forgives me

he's closeted so i didn't think he'd tell anyone
there's also the fact that he loves me

since then i've visited a few more times
he just gives it to me when i'm being forceful

it's easier on both of us that way

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Confess your eating sins, anons
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Forgived me padre for I has sins.
There was still some animals in the food.
Amen
>>
I just ate a whole order of carne asada fries and a large horchata in one sitting.

Roughly 3000 calories.

I'm gonna be fat forever
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>>37364449
I eat a lot of disgusting shit, like the strongest cheddar I can find, red onions, garlic, and arseloads of olive oil and just drowning pure carbs in that mix of ingredients, like pasta or bread. It makes me feel sick after a few bites, and horrifies my family and friends, but I can't stop doing it and it always sound appealing in my head for some reason.


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