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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6319. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

I figured out how to get super human strength

I will explain if anyone is interested
22 posts and 7 images submitted.
keep it to yourself, thanks though
i hate you like all the others

you will not be remembered

I won't either, as I will never die
Do it please


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So I've got a question for /r9k. When you take a shit and you have no toilet paper to wipe do you
>a.) pull up your clothes and let the shit fester?
>b.) pull up your clothes but head to the market to grab extra toilet paper, letting the shit fester and crystallize in the process?
>c.) reach into your anal crevice with your fingers and attempt to pluck the turd nuggets by hand?
12 posts and 3 images submitted.
Go in the shower and wash it the fuck is with crystalizing shit like fuck anon are you ok?
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what if you get the towel shitty?
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My toilet has a water jet in it, so no need for toilet gaijin paper

Hello fellow robros. I wanted to share with you an overview of our lives (or at least my life.) The constant crushing loneliness and crippling depression. Decades of women treating us like deformed monsters and repulsive outcasts.

If you cannot relate to the above, please do not comment in this thread. No normies allowed. Every other forum sans r9k caters specifically to normies and rejects robots, so it's perfectly acceptable for this board to reject normies, as this is our only solace.
Anyway, here's my overview, and if anyone wants to post their own overviews, I can add theirs in to make it more detailed.

>Infancy: Genitals mutilated without consent, causing permanent issues in the limbic system of the brain (verified in a study.) The limbic system controls emotions, i.e. an overactive limbic systems causes incredibly intense feelings of loneliness, depression and suffering. Not to mention introversion and anxiety.
>Childhood: Relentless bullying. Absent father or abusive father.
>Teenage: Experience constant rejection and mistreatment from women due to them being attracted solely to the top 20% of males (verified in the study ran by Okcupid themselves.)
>Adulthood: At this point, most women have children, most normies have secure jobs, most everyone has social circles and life development. Robots like us are left with nothing.
>Suicide: Once our parents die, it's over. Our brain chemistry simply wasn't meant for living.

Pic related, a superb illustration of our nightly suffering, the immense loneliness gnawing at us as we try to sleep.
12 posts and 6 images submitted.
>Childhood: Relentless bullying. Absent father or abusive father.
replace father with mother
>Teenage: Experience constant rejection and mistreatment from women due to them being attracted solely to the top 20% of males (verified in the study ran by Okcupid themselves.)
nah, girls actually liked me, i just had too much anxiety from infancy and childhood to actually function with them, and because of this i still am a KHV
>>Genitals mutilated without consent
>Making a difference

Nearly every male in America has their genitals mutilated, and the vast majority turn out fine. Robots are just as prevalent in Europe where they don't mutilate genitals.

>>Experience constant rejection

Real robots don't face rejection. To face rejection you have to put yourself out there. Robots are withdrawn and if anything try to avoid women.

this is still unironically the best thread on the board atm. Fucking sex addict faggot weebs need to be lined up and shot.
>girls actually liked me

I want to rip your skin off and throw you in acid

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Why do Best Buy employees call me bud?
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
Because you're their buddy :)
its because your an autist the guys at my gamestop call me bud
they're surprised someone entered the store, so you're a pretty rare buddy

Do you have friends, Anon?
Or imaginary ones at least?
18 posts and 5 images submitted.
>Do you have friends, Anon?
Of course not.
i have an imaginary bf
(im male)
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I'm trying to find a true friend.

Comfy discord server, just created yesterday. Come on in, robots.

30 posts and 3 images submitted.
Bump for comfy feels
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You're whale cum, op.

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How do I make anime real anons?
I just want to be free, to be happy. Far, far away from this hellish and disgusting reality, and the answer to it every time seems to be an anime world.
How do WE make anime real anons?
15 posts and 6 images submitted.
Hefty doses of hallucinogenic drugs and a bodypillow.
Take such a large dose of hallucinogens that you permanently damage your perception of reality.
I've never watched anime. Weebs are pathetic faggots.

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hey i'm looking for gay robot friends to talk about lewd stuff and fap together with

any takers?
31 posts and 8 images submitted.
Sounds like fun, I'm in
Hey faggot, stay on your shitty containment board. Nobody likes you here.

Yours truly, an actual fucking robot.
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>Obsolete robots actually believe this

i really cant stand people who like memes
22 posts and 4 images submitted.
Very quality thread you have here anon.
just kidding this thread is garbage and you should feel ashamed
you cant do anything right you fucking idiot
You can't stand people that enjoy jokes in the form of pictures? I didn't know there was a mental disorder where you can't laugh. Must be sad!
dont listen 2 the normies here like memes are boring af and you know it
you dont have to be all fuckin edgy saying you dont like those people but it's honestly just really tired at this point
i'm just really done with it all tesu

Do any robots have abnormally large butts?

>tfw can't find any pants that fit and I have a big baboon ass
44 posts and 15 images submitted.
Wanna be my boyfriend?
I don't know how this isn't original.
I do, people slap it... feels bad :c
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That's considered sexual harassment without your permission, my man. You should report it.

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>Oh Chadson, mommy needs this!
>But don't tell your brother anon
20 posts and 3 images submitted.
Post more of this set


>implying both the people in the pic arent in their mid 30s
How do you know if your mother is a hoe in this sense?
>that small dick


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>be me
>be like 9
>hang out with kid
>let's call him devon
>devon was normally that funny kind of crazy
>he'd do stupid shit from time to time, he was fun
>until one summer day
>devon calls me up
>"hey anon, wanna do frog hunting?"
>frogs are my favorite
>"heck yeah dude"
>we go out to this little pond near our housing complex, lots of toads and frogs are there
>time to mention that the kid had a knife, he always carried one, the housing complex was filled with pedophiles and assholes
>we catch a couple toads and frogs
>he pulls out the knife
>this mother fucker stabbed a toad
>i end up throwing up on the kid and running away
>told on him
>devon is sent to therapy and I moved away
Pic related, looks exactly like the toad he stabbed
9 posts and 4 images submitted.
As a fellow frog lover that fucked me up
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is like frogs/toads an autistic thing? Because I'm completely obsessed with them still and I'm 26 rip
>be me
Prepare to get sperged out on.

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Thanks to whoever posted this webm, can we post more of these in this thread please. Thaaanks.
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
Cunnyposting is allowed now? She has a new bikini pic that's cute af, but it's not allowed here, I got it in reddit
Which subreddit? if I may ask.
Starlets? It's pretty much just the young celebs

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Only niggers find this body attractive.
29 posts and 7 images submitted.
I guess Im a nigger now
i guess its time for me to start eating more fried chicken and corn bread

didn't feel good today. hope he talks to me tomorrow.
99 posts and 38 images submitted.
y didnt u kill yourself yet???
You really should stop shitting up the board with your daily threads, nobody cares about you and will never will if you don't change your lifestyle. People like you live off attention and will cry about it the second anyone slights you. On top of that you're selfish and being clingy really shows that. Get help, faggot.
Bad news, buddy.

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