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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1470. page

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Would it be a good idea to replace my porn addiction with a heroin or a crack addiction (whichever is cheaper)?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38751295
Probably, but make sure you don't mix whichever you choose with more porn or you'll just be worse off.
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yes anon that's a fantastic idea
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>>38751295
Get a meth addiction and fap even more.

Or a smoking addiction, that way your dick won't even work.

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>tfw this will never happen in your life
65 posts and 12 images submitted.
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Well obviously since you don't want it to happen.
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i am schizoid and that photo disgusts me, that display of emotion.
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>>38751294
I'm fairly clingy but every hour?

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There is literally nothing more pathetic than dating or marrying a non-virgin.

Why the fuck would you do that?
She's soiled. She was someone's before.
Somehow it's less beta to be a virgin than to be someone who dates/marries a used whore. At least a virgin has some dignity somehow.

Tell me /r9k/, why would you even want to be involved with a slut?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38751196
women are an illusion sex is not even real
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>>38751246
I can actually believe this.
I have literally never seen a naked woman. I have never even touched a woman. Literally never have.

Is sex an actual meme? Is it the biggest meme of all?
>>
> Somehow it's less beta to be a virgin
Lol, op, no. You can try to pull mental gymnastics all you want but you're beta as fuck for still being a virgin. Its not even hard these days to get laid. The problem is finding someone compatible enough to be long-term with.
Keep telling yourself that you're only a virgin because "you're looking for the right girl" we all know its because you're a beta bitch like the rest of actual r9kers. Girls can tell you're beta as fuck and it turns them off, either that or you're too beta to even talk to a girl. You're truly pathetic.

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>blackbots don't exi-
https://youtu.be/js0JutcAJj0?t=9m37s
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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9:37-10:08
heres some original content
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I knew a black kid in middle school who I played MapleStory and Mabinogi with

Can confirm blackbots exist though there are few
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heh, i'm a blackbot in rl and i would act exactly like him, ahh just please end my suffering ;(

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>one chance at life
>5'6 1/2

well there goes my chances of getting a cute gf. time to become a hermit and teach kids martial arts or whatever old lonely men do
48 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>38751164
>1/2
>actually mentioning the half of an inch

You are beyond pathetic OP.
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>>38751473
kicking a cripple while he's down? i bet you're such a big man yourself
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>>38751164
at least you're not 5'4...
since I knew from the beginning that I would not ever have a chance, I spent my whole life focusing on video games and art.

Never gave a fuck about getting a gf and never will. That's my only way to deal with it.

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just why

tell me!
62 posts and 30 images submitted.
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>>38751127
question are an illusion thoughts are not even real
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>>38751802
calm down mister

just answer to the question!

>>38751830
are we even exist?
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>>38751838
no we are not exist

Have you ever cheated, robots?

I cheated on my ex and it turned him into a bitter womanizer who sleeps around to feel macho. He used to be so bright and colorful.
34 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38751125
Well, ignoring the shitty bait (animeme girl pic + cheating thread started by a "female"). No, I have not cheated. I had the chance to but I was entirely uninterested because sex is more of a mental thing for me. I suppose I have porn to thank for this. Being able to fap to the hottest girls in a second has ruined most of my interest in physical attraction.
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>>38751125
i masturbated on cam for a woman who has a boyfriend and she showed me her nudes.
now i feel terrible because of it as if i gave up on a little part of me.
>>
Is it cheating if it's cuckoldry? I helped a pregnant woman cuck her husband.

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>masturbate
>feel like you've accomplished something
>feel sad you felt that way
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>Jerk off. Glad no females were raped by my dangerous male penis
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I pretend to have a different GF every week or so.
Usually ONLY bed stuff. If I had a conversation with someone that lasted for more than two minutes, which is rare, I consider that a date with the current GF.

When I shoot a blank, it's time for a new GF.
Usually a cute girl from high school, even though I dropped out seven years ago.
>>
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>used to masturbate to effectively ward off tfw no gf for at least a day
>now it works only for about 30 minutes

this is totally not good

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best way to stimulate a female through text?
im talking like in friendly comversation btw
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
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tell her to put her phone on her pusy and then text her

ez pz
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>>38751043
Ask her to send an iPhone slowmo capture of her anus while ripping a fart bitches love shit like that
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Stimulate her intellectually by redpilling her. Women love that I promise

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>used to be funny, outspoken and friendly
>now I'm cold, distant and even more insecure than before, Virgin aswell

WHAT. HAPPENED
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38750992
capitalism, total warfare.
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>>38750992
OP STOP FUCKING DESCRIBING ME
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>>38751219
IT'S A FUCKING CURSE
READING OLD CONVERSATIONS ON KIKEBOOK, GIRLS STARTING CONVOS WITH ME. LAST CONVERSATION WITH A GIRL WAS PROBABLY BACK IN 2015

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Why doesn't natalie make asmr? Why doesn't natalie make asmr? why doesn't natalie make asmr?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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You're asking the wrong question. You should be asking why she's not posting tits.
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Why does every female on this fucking planet have dyed hair and nasal piercings now?
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>>38750986
because she doesn't love you OP

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Is it weird that the only reason I haven't quit my job yet is because I like my boss and their family? My life is over, a dead-end job isn't fixing anything. All I'm interested in now is palliative care. Just reducing my suffering until I die.
12 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38750930
What do you do anon

You might inform
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whats your story anon? we're here for you
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>>38751063
Office job. Exactly as boring as it sounds.

>>38751075
No family, no hope of ever leaving poverty, no friends and don't like most people, world imploding, all my grand ideas are pointless since there's no chance of ever actualizing any of them, youth is over, body going to shit. I'm just done. I give up. I tried. About a billion times. And I'm fucking done. I want to be over already.

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>when I want to play a vidya game, I start from the very start of the game's franchise and work my way up

>when playing RPGs, I have a list of spells, weapons, etc. I want to get, and I plan everything out before even playing the game
20 posts and 9 images submitted.
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>>38750880
>Narrate what I do in video games like I'm a Lets player

>Get home
>Take off belt
>Yell, of Think really loudly LET IT RIP!

>Work out
>After finishing work out, pose in the mirror like a Power Ranger or a JoJo character

>Banepost IRL
Basically what I'll do is wait for someone to say something with a resemblance to lines the Plane Scene, then I'll respond with the appropriate line. Either that, or I'll quote it indirectly while initiating conversation (which is rare for obvious reasons)

>Visiting Doctor because I feel sick
>Greet Doctor with handshake and "Doctor [name], I'm CIA

>Holding 2yr old niece up high
>Suddenly, she starts crying
>"Anon! What did you do?!"
>"Nothing! I said nothing!"

>Anytime someone uses the word big to describe anything, I can't stop myself from saying "For you."

At this point, I couldn't stop if I wanted to.
I still haven't found a way to integrate "You don't get to bring friends!" Into conversation, but that's been a goal of mine for a while.
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>Whisper curses to and about myself in a dark room alone
>>
>Whisper curses to myself alone

/r9k/ I'm going fucking mad here
>Thursday, July 27th. 10 PM
>check mail
>driver's license is in there
>admire it for a bit in my room
>show it to my parents to prove to them I accomplished something
>go back to my room
>12 AM
>look for it again to put it in my wallet
>it's just fucking vanished
>up until 5 am trashing my room looking for it
>go to work next morning, have my brother repeat the process for me
>come home and search every crevice of every other room in the house
>repeat Saturday
>spend my whole day doing this today
/r9k/ I've turned every house in my room inside and out about 3 times, where the fuck could this license be? I'm supposed to go to the insurance tomorrow and I never have time to go to the DMV.
Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? Did you ever find the thing?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Check your pockets in the dirty laundry pile
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>>38750852
Yeah cards will go missing if you don't keep track of them. Luckily having two copies of your ID can have some limited perks like you can feel like a hard badass if you buy booze with the one that is technically invalid.
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>>38750852
Congratulations on passing your driving test

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You're going to go see the Meme Movie, right /r9k/?
38 posts and 13 images submitted.
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>>38750847
>dat boi
oh shit whaddup

i see there are other memesters here too lol
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I'm beginning to think one of Sony's executives has a findom fetish and enjoys losing massive amounts of money.
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>>38750847
This is fake it has to be fake


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