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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2293. page

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Describe the monster you unironically think could be watching you in the darkness from the corner of your room at any moment.

>long limbs
>walks on hands & feet
>hanging jaw
>wicked half-smile
>crawls into your bed with you when you go to sleep
>sometimes you get a glimpse of it but only small glimpses
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
am I on /x/
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I know this for a fact, for I have a mirror behind me.
The fragmented externalized evil within me.

He's an asshole.

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>ywn be a dbz character
>ywn power up so much that the planet starts shaking
3 posts and 1 images submitted.
I remember when I saw goku go ss3 as a kid, I was feeling it in my room, what a time to be alive
>They literally destroyed a fucking universe in this episode

>Over a fucking tournament

Is it just me or is the concept of literal incomprehensible amounts of life ending in near seconds a little grimdark for super?

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when did /r9k/ take the CIA-nigger pill?

CIA are very shy creatures. easily startled
6 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>the call that stopped anon getting laid
It's them glow in the dark CIA niggers
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don't unmask them. they don't want you to see their true form

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This motherfucker killed himself by jumping into a fucking volcanic crater. That's like the most Chad suicide ever. Meanwhile you're just gonna shoot or hang yourself.
4 posts and 1 images submitted.
Sounds like he merely jumped off a cliff at a volcano, he didnt actually jump into the magma or anything.

Theres nothing more chad than this than jumping off a building.
fuck me what a horrible way to go
Plenty of people have done this.
Call me when someone Ks their S with a single sheet of paper or something actually creative

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Go to hell you cuck posting faggots. Suck my white dick
5 posts and 1 images submitted.
Bitter cutfag is bitter
Haha Jew cock

t. Whitey
Eh, sure.

Would you mind shaving, though?

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>Buy bitcoins
>Send market to the moon
>Dumb amerifats following Israel's orders
>Crash market
>tfw investment is literally halved because of stupid disgusting Americans

I always sell during based chink hours and buy during dumb amerigoyim hours. Stupid amerifats never fail to show their weak hands while chinks actually have faith in crypto. It makes me feel good knowing all the profit I make is from dumb flyovers with weak hands that accomplish nothing except countless attempts to crash the crypto market.
Now chinks own 70% of all bitcoins.

Americans ruin everything.
Why must they be so stupid?
5 posts and 2 images submitted.
Sounds like you lost a bunch of money due to poor decisions that you alone made.
>investing into crypto currency
>bad decision
It's the currency of the future. I know you Americans prefer the dollar but the rest of the world won't stand for it.
I just want his son bouncing on my dick and then nut on his back

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>got an above minimum wave job (9 months now)
>got a hobby
>took to looking after myself hygiene and fashion wise
>started swimming
>finally getting attention from women and have gotten numbers from 2

why aren't y'all trying this? it actually works!
23 posts and 4 images submitted.
if it worked you wouldn't be here
>got an above minimum wage jobs fixing Aircraft
>took to looking after myself hygiene and fashion wise
>still don't get attention from women
when you are ugly or even average op women don;t look your way. I can't get a girlfriend/wife until everyone is 5/10 ugly average in their late mid 30s. But I'm not doing that.
I haven't been here for months. just checking back in. I browse /fa/ and /diy/ mostly now.

>be me
>in basement playing vidya
>brother who was visiting comes down
>asks me if I want to go to a party with him
>i just say yes politely
>I'm not ugly but at the same time I'm not a chad. I'm just an average looking 6'2 guy
>day of the party arrives
>look at this normie social gathering
>see people drinking, playing games, laughing, talking
>decide to play foosball
>me and my brother against 2 chads
>me and my brother win and get victory lap dances
>talk with a lot of people and make a lot of friends
>get a lot of girl's number's too
>this is the first time I've been happy since grade school

When I went back to dwell in my parent's basement, I realized that I've wasted my entire life. All those years of shitposting and playing vidya could have been me getting friends and getting employed. I've currently gotten an interview for a job next week even if it's only minimum wage, and I'm planning to get an apartment, go to college, and get a gym membership

You fucks told me that being a normie sucks, but in reality being a NEET is the worst type of life a man could ever live
5 posts and 3 images submitted.
Life sucks either way, you'll realize that once you spend most of your days working your ass off and getting minimal gains out of it.
As a fellow neet. I totally agree with you. Alot of us dont choose this life style. Were just kinda stuck with it. We just lack the drive and self confidence to change anything on our own.

So good luck annon. Hope the normie life is good to you.
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Atleast you have a brother who cares about you.

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>tfw no pretty gf
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
You don't deserve it. Chad earned his gf by being a real man

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>Mom asks me for 500 dollars
>Says she needs it because car repairs costed an unexpected 200 dollars extra
>She wants 500 dollars from me because she spent 200 dollars
Why are baby boomers so fucking dense? Does she think I'm that stupid?
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
so, obviously, if she genuinely needs 500 bucks the original cost of the repairs was 300. then there was the added extra 200 cost, and now she needs 500 bucks in total. presumably she was going to ask you for 300 bucks but now she needs 500. whats the issue here apart from your mum being so destitute as to beg her son for money
>Why are baby boomers so fucking dense?
she mistook you for a decent human, she thought that the years of looking after you would pay off.
U dum dum
costs 200 dollars extra, not spent 200 more
this is a word problem you fucking idiot
your mom needs 500 for the TOTAL COST

X = cost but then 200 MORE
x+200 = 500

also just fucking help your mom out what is wrong with you

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Tell me everyone fucked up about your body, robots.

For me:

- Skin pigmentation on the left side of my stomach, literally looks like somone ejaculated on it and the cum is permanently imprinted in my my skin

- I have a third nipple

- My penis is extremely small and on top of that very thin. It's around 4cm flaccid and 10cm erect. It's a pencil dick too though, probably girth wise similar to that of a 12-14 year old. (never even seen someone my age in real life or even online with a dick like mine, some have small dicks, but at least the girth is normal. Not the case for me).

- Permanent dark circles under my eyes due to years of gaming and lack of sleep

- 172cm tall

- The skin on my head has these white crusts on it, it doesn't show when my hair is long but it does cause dandruff I think it's called in English.

I don't even have that many problems in terms of social skills but what causes insecurity for me is that even if I did get in touch with girls there's so many shit about my body that I don't want revelead in the bedroom.

Please tell me I'm not alone guys.
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
No replies in the DB for this post!

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>be alcoholic drug addict neet for 6 months
>get job
>clean for 1 month
How do I stay clean? All I want is to lose myself into the chemical abyss again at the expense of everything I've worked for.
5 posts and 1 images submitted.
You stay clean by not doing drugs.
There's really no way around it.
I cleaned up really well because I got to a point in my life where I no longer had the option to keep using.
Some people can clean up on their own, some people need to use NA/AA programs to stay sober.
Consider attending a meeting (it's free and there is coffee) to see if it's for you I guess.
Rotate drugs so you don't get addicted to a single one. It's ok to be addicted to drugs in general.
I need a gf or animal or plant or a business or some long term thing to look forward to. Maybe I should try church or meditation again. I tried meditation before with a pro and it made me feel pretty good after which was really surprising

Does this board only exist to make each other insecure?
5 posts and 1 images submitted.
no but it's a pretty big part of it, crabs in a bucket and all that. snibbedy snab :DDD
Nowadays, yes.
>be honest about my life
>"fuck you faggot you worthless piece of shit kys"
>don't feel bad because it's an anonomous image board :^)
>become more confident thanks to that
Thanks /r9k/, everytime you tell me to kys I don't do it and my life becomes a little better!

tell me about that first time a girl let you cum on her face /r9k/
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
she said cum on my face baby so then i said sure and then i did it felt good
I did it once
It was horrible, I felt so stupid and miserable, just dumb
Never again
Thai prostitute told me to cum in her mouth and after pulling out and like two minutes of fapping I blew all over her face.

I had an ex-girlfriend put her face out for me to cum on years before that but I just dribbled out.

Another ex-girlfriend told me to cum on her face but I ended up just cumming inside her because I prefer it.

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>tfw drugs made you insane

Where do we go from here lads
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
just stop the drugs, be miserable, sleep it off and let your brain repair all the chemical imbalances.
>tfw memes made you insane

Where do we go from here lads
you have a bad trip or what? I had that happen with mushrooms and fell into a deep depression ever since.

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