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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 90. page

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this is going to be a long story

>be me
>11 years old
>in cub scouts
>transfer to boy scouts
>like half the troop is autistic
>theres a kid named dawson
>after the tv show dawsons creek
>fucking hamplanet
>220 pounds (thats what he ADMITTED to)
>he's autistic as fuck
>be youngest in troop so get the duty of sleeping in the same tent as dawson
>first night of my first outing
>lying in tent
>dawson starts talking about catching his own farts on fire by himself and roasting marshmallows on it
>next day
>troop plays zombie tag at this old army base near our campsite
>actually really fun
>enter sam

btw this is my first greentext so this might take a while
12 posts and 3 images submitted.
Sounds like a good ol' Tard story!
>sam is the most autistic kid ive ever met
>spends most of his time muttering unfunny memes to himself
>best friends with dawson
>so anyways
>playing this game
>been going on for a while now
>only a few people are infected
>sam is one of them
>base, called fort flagler is multi level
>sam runs to top where grass is
>sam is running
>slow as fuck though, and even my fatass 11 yr old self could outrun him easily
>running alongside sam just to fuck with him
>sam lunges for me
>i run faster
>sam collapses on ground and doesn't get up
>poke sam
>mutters some gibberish
>asks me to get him his water bottle
>seeing no danger, i agree
>he hungrily gulps down all his water
>no movement for like 10 minutes
>bring troopmates over to laugh about this
>sam fucking leaps up
>"now that im HYDRATED WATCH OUT" he screams
>he gives a fucking shrek roar

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>tfw 20 minutes to download a 30 second clip
>tfw all of a sudden you get a virus and have to spend three hours doing a system restore
>tfw the thumbnail you click mathces the video you land on
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
as dumb as it was I busted my hardest nuts back then. well, I can bust harder nuts if I tried but I'm too lazy to save up for a couple days
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checked and let me tell you motherfucker I hit the ceiling once or twice back in the day myself

man porn was an adventure back then
A lot of those sites just linked to other image sites of the same layout. It was a crapshoot whether you would get directed to actual gallery/video intended or just some other ad baity site like it.

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show me a cooler name
i'm waiting
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
>"show me a roastie name that's better than this roastie name"
Just kys mang
Her name is a 10/10
she's cute OP,

but in eastern europe, Ukraine area, there is a clone army of her and versions of her wandering around

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what simple thing needs to happen to make the world a better place to live in?
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
Gas's that kikes
All the humans need to die.
I like thr candidness of this thread. I hate to say it but maybe it's as simple as love. It sounds normie as fuck but what else could it be? So my stepdad is a bit of a cunt but that's because I'm a lazy fuck who doesnt help around the house. I'd they would ask I would help but instead he just pms'd so I decided I'm don't care what you think so I'm not gonna be upset. Yet I still feel angry. He comes across as an insufferable fucking simpleton and got drunk one day and was talking about how he loves my mom, can't really say he loves me but I got the feeling we were both like well we're both human so "love" in that sense. I have an issue where if I'm slighted once or minorly I just wipe that person from my conscience. They don't exist to me anymore and I don't care about them. Yoko Taro has some interesting things to say about violence. In our case I think he saw my not helping as a threat, so he started to ramt and curse, but if he would have talked it wouldnt have been a problem, so I didnt do amything and then was attacked, by it was from a weird self defense mindset, in which to each of us it seems as if we are acting in self defense despite his provocation. Path to hell paved with good intentions and shit. I don't know. I'm agnostic atheist and can tip my fedora on occasion, but when you expand your anger in a golden rule sort of way you get disturbed at both yourself and human nature. Cain killing Abel

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Is hypersexuality a thing? Or am I just addicted to porn?
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
It is a thing, but in your case you're probably just addicted to porn.
And I thought that for once in my life I could put the blame away from myself
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at what point would you say that you're "addicted" to porn. I think about sex quite a lot most days but I wouldn't say i'm hypersexual or addicted to sexual imagery

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>parents are out of town
>feel a strong urge to lose my virginity
>drink some alcohol to take the edge off
>head out to some popular places around town to see if I could make something happen
>see no girls by themselves, all of them are with at least one guy
>go back home and check backpage / craigslist for escorts
>they're all absolutely disgusting looking, none of them are above a 5/10

How the literal FUCK do people get laid?? I'm starting to think that this is all a fucking lie and I'm living in the twilight zone or something because everyone else in the fucking world just stumbles upon sex in their daily lives and I can't even PAY to have sex
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
you suck haha
>none of them are above a 5/10
Maybe you should aim lower
>I'm starting to think that this is all a fucking lie and I'm living in the twilight zone or something
imagine if you will, a world where anon would forever remain a virgin

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>tfw you have the superior patrician fetish
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
All diapered up for the night!
Sounds like the kind of thing furries do
Beep boop beep beep

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>i have failed everything a adult should be
>have not found love
>no kids
>no job
>no friends
>no money
>no happiness
>hoping world to end so i can go out scream and be as autistic as i can just lest it out then i can get all this stress out
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Why don't you join the fuckin Marines
ha when you posted that i thought this was bant

Dont worry OP it Doesnt get better,

>Why don't you join the fuckin Marines

LOL you think OP has the physical ability to get in to the USMC, lol stop smoking crack

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>Who the fuck jacked off in the tzatziki sauce?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
Haha, I applied to Subway a week ago
Italian BMT with lettuce, onions, a dash of Parmesan and a little bit of mustard is the best sub sandwich.

Prove me wrong

Add peppers and sweetcorn, subtract mustard and add chipolte sauce.

Mustard is for hot dogs and burgers you dirty french bastard.

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Anybody remember overly attached girlfriend?

11 posts and 2 images submitted.
>she's 26 years old
goddamn she's a lot older than i thought she'd be
yeah she literally cried on camera during the election. it was hilarious. she's a retard.
i like to think of her once in a while when i jerk off

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Fuck! I can't even get my fucking sleep after a long ass assignment, fuck you roasties!!!
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
I've been having sleeping issues as well lately. My sister and mother commented on how they can see full bags under my eyes. It doesn't help that I wake up early all the time too and can't go back to sleep. I also go to bed pretty damn late.
>living somewhere where you can hear roasties

you can ask them to be quiet if you don't care about your social standing

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Hurricane is moving more to my side of Florida. Shitting bricks guys. Anyone else scared tonight?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
I'm in the path too. Hoping I die
SC here, quit being such a faggot. Smoke a blunt and go with god.
I didn't wanna die this way. Getting blown to death is kinda faggy.

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Why can I feel my mental health degrading whenever I come here
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
because this place is a piece of shit

>muh chad
>muh tinder competition
>muh ovulating boipucci

and so on and so on
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Because r9k is a complete cesspool full of posters who think there's nothing good about life or other people?
Because it is. Leave.

you do them every day
every week
every month?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
weed every day

other stuff maybe once or twice or five times a month. never really know
i smoke weed daily
id like to get into ketamine and id try other things
>i need to into darknet
No drugs, except very occasional stims.
Its worked wonders for my mental health.
I smoke cigarettes as well.

Before he found Morpheus, all he did was lurk the internet for answers.

How do we break free ourselves?
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
matrix's plot makes no sense, why would someone want to break free from a normal world for a shitty place underground where the earth is ruined?
Because everything in the "normal world" is predetermined and it decided that you would be some basement dwelling autist with no way out
In the movie's real world you would also be a basement autist, your personality does not change when you leave the matrix.
And being predetermined doesn't matter if you don't know the future (if you knew it would cause a paradox). Technically, our reality is predetermined as well. The only advantage is that you'll get to "live in the real world", which might be inside another matrix.

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