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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 774. page

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The escort is on her way. Finally gonna end this dry spell
30 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>39405891
Proud of you, anon.

originally speaking of course
>>
Dry spell meaning since birth right? Otherwise gtfo
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>>39405891

She's a cop.

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Thoughts?

http://mytinysecrets.com/8-things-your-vagina-would-tell-you-if-it-could-speak/
39 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>39405741
>"Thoughts?"

Not a one.
>>
>About Me
>Mix stardust with challenges, and rainbows with tears, throw in some anger sauteed with safe release and you get Dara Stara. A huntress for honesty in every moment. A skydancer in her very own way. A breaker of those walls, that inhibit connection. An unchained heart, that wants to strip everyone bare. Her mission is to get real. Real with dreams, life and the universe. Co-creator of the 7 day immersion: NAKED - the Retreat, she and her playmate invite daring souls on a deep dive into themselves.
CRINGEOMETER IS OFF THE CHARTS
>>
>>39405881

You're not hippie enough to get this. I think it's beautiful

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>Found girl that matches my personality
>She is caring
>Accepts me for who I am
>RN, graduated from a great college at age of 20 with a 4.0
>Great in bed

The one problem:
>She's curvy but starting to put some weight on due to her taking Prednisone

I hate this. My family hates me for having a non-10/10 gf and thinks less of me now. For once I kinda feel happy but now everyone disapproves of me and I hate it.

Should I just dump her?
23 posts and 3 images submitted.
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The real question is, why are you on r9k? Cause I really wonder
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>caring about what others think

No, don't dump her
>>
>curvy
AKA fat. She's fat m8, don't sugar coat it or she'll eat that too.

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have any dreams recently?
31 posts and 8 images submitted.
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Yes, Anon
It was actually pretty nightmare-ish, which was cool, since it's been a while.
It was about creepy, old, moldy, burned, mannequin robots hunting people down with steak knives.
They didn't eat. They didn't sleep. Even cutting of their heads didn't stop them. An attack only indicated by the radio static coming out of their mouths.
Static changing into screaming ended the dream.
>>
Intense lucid dreams for the last three days.
I really hope this lasts.
>>
>>39406763
I dreamed that I killed a series of people and hired some thugs to move them for me. I was too diseased and weak to do it myself.
Once the bodies were loaded and the goons were up front to drive I climbed in the back with the corpses and closed the door. While they drove I crawled into the pile of bodies and made love to them. The smell of them decomposing was so strong and the feel of their bodies was so intense that it felt more real than anything I've ever experienced IRL.

Just as I was about to orgasm a shadowy figure appeared in the corner of the truck. I panicked but was covered head to toe in bile, bits of dead skin, maggots, my clothes were gone, and I had literally nowhere to run. I tried grabbing a conveniently placed knife from the floor but I was distracted by a dramatic change in scenery.
I was now on a boat, in a small room, alone with just one of the bodies. I was dressed again but sticky from all of the fluids and filth I got on me. I cuddled the body blissfully when I saw a curtain rustle. Someone was looking at me through the blinds. I tried closing them over and over again but they changed from blinds to curtains to finally unwraveling. The wall fell down and a crowd of people were outside, watching. They started jeering and throwing things at me. Someone fired a gun and hit. I felt an intense pain in my chest and couldn't breathe. There was blood everywhere, mixed in with the slime I was coated in. I fell to the floor and the crowd rushed in, beating me. I couldn't breathe, the pain was unbearable.
I finally woke up covered in sweat and it took me a good 5 minutes to catch my breath. Fuck dreams.

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>mom spotted the semen submarine
25 posts and 19 images submitted.
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>best friend boarded the tranny train
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>>39405417
>dad took away my image files
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>>39405417
>Antagonist found the plot armor

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32 (you heard correctly, thirty-two) hours remaining edition
505 posts and 80 images submitted.
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I dont know about you lads but I certainty came back this August
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>>39405309
At the start of this month, I couldn't do a single pushup. Now I can do still none.
>>
>>39405309
I thought Comeback August wasnt a thing any more? It was Ebin OC and since he had the audacity to ruin an episode of Rick and Morty we'd decided to cast him out and pretend none of his posts ever happened?

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Wtf is this shit? These painful bumps keep showing up on my legs and crotch. They look like huge zits, when they burst puss and blood comes out.
27 posts and 4 images submitted.
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I get them to. Never really wondered why or what they were. Just seemed like huge zits that come and go
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how about stop being an idiot
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>>39405303
I caught it too. You're in for a very painful surgery desu

34 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>39405256
Only if you're a cutfag probably.
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>>39405256
No. They dont even compare.
Sure, you get the mental satisfaction of knowing you coinvinced a girl to let you do something degrading and whorish to her when you fuck her in the ass. But that's it. If sex were rain, anal would be drizzle, and pussy would be a hurricane.
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>>39405358
is... Is this a John Green quote?

>be me in elementary school.
>be extremely into World War 2.
>frequently read text books and watched documentaries about the war.
>shows and text books always showed swastika, but never the actual flag for Germany.
>due to this, I believed that the swastika was the national German flag, and not just the flag for the nazi party.
>skip forward to me in class.
>teacher assigns us a project where we draw a poster for our heritage.
>be of German decent.
>cover my poster in swastikas, still believing that it was the flag of Germany
>teacher was one of those workers that did not give a fuck about doing their job.
>so im guessing she just skipped checking and grading them, and just skipped to putting them up in the hallway.
>teachers, students, and parents walked down the hallway to see an elementary school kid who drew swastikas all over his poster.
>teacher took down my poster and asked to talk to me during recess.
>completely lost her shit with a totally confused 9 year old
>looking back, as the conversation went on, she probably realized that I did not fully understand what I drew
>she then changed her tone of voice, and started to tell me that I needed to redo the project
>she never told me that the swastika was not the national flag of Germany, despite me claiming it to be, in front of her
>It took me years to realize exactly what happened that day.
23 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>39405254
>teacher told me to redo my project
>since I was a lazy shit kid, I did my project only in pencil, when we were suppose to fully color it
>teacher told me just to erase it, and use the same paper for the new one.
>i erase it and draw every BUT the swastikas
>teacher hangs it up
>due to my terrible job at erasing, and the indention that my pencil left, the swastikas were still clearly visible.
>>
Boring story, m8.
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>>39405254
>me age 8
>also interested in history due to dad watching a lot of 50's ww2 films (and westerns but I ever got into those)
>dad buys me those bags of plastic soldiers
>every bag the same: 80% green/olive/tan dudes and 20% gray dudes
>since my life was video games and movies I deduce that numerous soldiers = badguys and the fewer soldiers must be the good guys
>logical because in my favourite games i played it's always you versus many ie phantasy Star 3, streets of rage, altered beast and other arcadey games
>movies is always a few good guys killing tons of baddies and winning
>always play as the grey soldiers when playing with my toy soldiers.
>start to notice they have the same uniforms and weapons as the Germans in the films. Those caps. Mp40s. Stick bombs. Mg42 etc
>deduce that actually Germans are the few good guys
>watch ww2 documentaries and see the swastika and also assume it's the German national flag
>next day at school when I sign every bit of work with my name I also add a swastika.
>parents get called in
>teacher is matter of fact and down to earth
>at home they calmly explain what this really means and why I shouldn't do it
Everything went better than expected.
(Years later. I always played as axis on call of duty: United offensive when I was at university)

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>"No hymen, no diamond Roastie!"

Good. I wouldn't want to marry somebody so hopelessly fucking inept that they're content in their ignorance to directly fund the De Beers Jew Machine, all for a worthless, sparkly lump of carbon.
24 posts and 7 images submitted.
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Do you really expect them to know any better? Men are the most capitalistic, consumeristic creatures there are. It was men that built this system in the first place.
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Stop pretending women aren't the ones perpetrating the kike diamond scheme.
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>>39405322
>founder
>Cecil Rhodes
>CEO
>Bruce Cleaver
>chariman
>Mark Cutifani

Nice try Shylock.

Anon the reason you're not happy is because you don't have a hobby, but hobbies take effort and money.
Why don't you take up lucid dreaming instead?
32 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>39405227
I cant lucid dream, ive tried multiple times and it doesn't work
I also dream in black and white so my dreams are bland, just like the rest of my life
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>>39405975
Are you an oldfag? The idea of dreaming only in black and white doesn't really make sense to me.
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>>39405227
Becuase I had uncontrolable lucid nightmares as a kid and it was absoultelly horrible

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How long would you last if a black girl did this to you?
87 posts and 13 images submitted.
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>>39405120

I'm physically impotent so I'd do okay.
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>>39405120
I'd last about 1 microsecond until I push her off me and threaten to call the police if she doesn't leave.
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Probably under a minute, but I'd get off on her disgusted reaction so at least there's that.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Half-Eaten-Box-of-Tictacs/272826751294

Are you going to bid /r9k/?
31 posts and 15 images submitted.
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>>39405050
Only if Eliza comes with the box
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>>39405050
>0 bids

roastie got toasted
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>>39405070
It's a new listing.

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There is absolutely no reason not to be a complete dick with no morals when you're a robot.

Morals and laws are there for the benefit of those in society, we're on the fringes of it and lose nothing from being criminals as long as we don't get caught. Why are you still a brainwashed slave to society loser?
118 posts and 24 images submitted.
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What is society? Working? Having a gf? Or the physical place we live?
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>>39405282
Society is everything that isn't you. It's the shopkeeper, the bus, the public park, the magazine. Working is for suckers, you need to find someone else to leech off so you can procrastinate full time. Marriage and kids is for morons who fall for the "it's what you do" meme.
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>>39405020
>it's another thread where robots are gaining courage to shoot themsleves in the foot

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I was told that only guys have hard in life?

How can you say girls have it easy after seeing pic related? You simply cannot
32 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>39404997
The easiest solution would be to just put out. She's got the tools to do it.
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>>39405082
>fucking roasty whores having secks with everyone reee
>mayb she should just put out if she wants a bf
u sure showed them
>>
>it's on the internet so it must be real
Girls are wanted just for existing.


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