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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4511. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

You get to live this guy's life for a day. He's dating the girl in the pic.

What do you do?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
Is that cunny?
Fuck her for 23 hours then die of a heart attack.
bangarang, fucking rufio...

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>a girl likes me

it doesn't feel like real life
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
Don't worry she won't once she figures out you're a loser
You greatly underestimate my ability to hide shit.
She likes you, but she likes Chad's cock more

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How do I learn to scam robots into giving me money like that Ciara girl? TIA!!
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
Someone said she was getting into porn. Can anyone confirm? Is she even old enough yet?

>Show pussy
>Get thirsty betas to donate you money
Just stream popular video games and be willing to do slightly lewd things for donations. Making money is easy if you are a female.

>tfw no gf even though im an objective 9/10
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
You're like a 7/10 at best
dead inside/10 mon frere
>weak baby fat face
>round jaw
>acne, pale skin
>weird fashion choice (button up shirt from Walmart? Tie?)
>deluded narcissist vibes

Not even close to a 7 faggot

what's pussy like in real life? is it as disgusting as it looks? does it smell funny?

i'm not sure why i want to stick my penir in it, it's so gross. but i do
9 posts and 4 images submitted.
Well, if it was that disgusting, then no one would ever fuck. Just go for it man.
where can i buy this

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"I-I'm a virgin, anon, for real."

Stinky smelly and gross

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H-How i-is s-stuttering l-like t-this s-sexy t-to y-you p-people? I-It m-makes y-you s-sound l-like a-a r-retard.
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
No one thinks it is except for the dumb animeposters and gays
You know it's just simply shitposting and irony, right? Are people on this board actually so dumb they cannot figure out almost everything anyone says on here is not to be taken seriously?
B-b-but sempai I actually stutter like this in r-real life

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help out an anon.
looking for adventure time season 1 download, cant find anything not super fishy
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
>wanting to watch reddit: the show

Kill yourself faggot.
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>he doesn't know about the pirate bay
>in 2017

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I know what a waifu is. What do they do? I want to know for a joke on github.
10 posts and 5 images submitted.
What does that even mean? "What do they do"
It's the same thing as the question in the subject. Let me rephrase that for you. What does your waifu do?
Love. They love robots

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How much money do I need to save up to move out from my parent's house?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
Its not about saving money, its about making enough money each month to pay rent. I also want to move out of my parents' house soon, but I dont make anywhere near enough money to rent an apartment in a good neighborhood
This. With a job, you'd only need 1 month's rent, a deposit, and some food money banked.
We all want to move out

You need at least 25k (pounds) for a deposit and then it's about 10k for the furniture and shit

Plus monthly out goings could be 1k depending on mortgage repayments

I have yet to make a decision on what to do stay or move

I know I'll lose the garden

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>talking with a failed normie friend about social medias
>tell him he's addicted to normiebook, literally always on it
>when he's not on normiebook on his computer he is on his phone
>"But I don't go on this for the same reasons as other people ! I want to know news about my friends, news from what's happening in the world etc"
>using facebook to actually get news on the world
>it's his only source of informations
>fucking brainwashed
>he knows that I often go on 4chan
>"You're the same ! You're addicted to 4chan, they brainwashed you into thinking that facebook is shit !'
Wew. I may be addicted to 4chan but at least I'm not such a faggot. I'm able to think freely thanks to a fucking chinese anime imageboard.
Are all normies like this ?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
I want an answer pls
>current year
Normiebook is the same shit as this
youre both right normiebook is objectively worse because they have all your information and they actively push left agendas. Spending too much time on any form of social media/forum isnt healthy

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I was watching some time stop porn, and I wondered, what if women are sluts only because a group of people with time stop powers fucks every female because they can stop time and the amount of time they spend fucking frozen women is limitless so effectively they have fucked every single female, and maybe they have a set of guidelines where they only fuck women at a certain age, but there was some sort of internal power struggle within the group so they started fucking girls at a younger age than prior to their groups laws, so that's why girls are super slutty at a younger age.

I mean, how could we know, right?
8 posts and 4 images submitted.
it's not possible because the most you can stop time for at most 9 seconds
That's all you need
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Is that a... no.... it couldn't be....
the fabled.... jojo reference...?!

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Any stories of narrowly avoiding death anons?

>be me, 17
>went to house party at some girl's apt that my friends knew
>she usually lives alone since parents work overseas
>invited us to stay overnight but we passed
>get a call next morning she died from carbon monoxide poisoning
>she was sleeping in the room we were supposed to be in
>still think about it 10 years later
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
so youre saying you couldve gotten laid but instead you pussied out
I used to really enjoy hamtaro, thanks for reminding me.
>fell downhill skiing
>full speed to a stop with my shoulder, snapped my collarbone in two
>had it been a few more degrees would've landed on my head and snapped my neck

>Fell on a moped
>wasn't going very fast but slid off the road from a roughly meter wide gap between a metal barrier and a wooden electricity pole.
>Would've at least been seriously injured if not dead if I had slammed into either one.

>Out camping, open flame in front of our tent
>wake up with the tent filled with smoke and on fire, and got out right before the fucking thing collapsed.

Ah, childhood.

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This girl approaches you on the street, cum still dripping off her pretty face, and says,

>The past is the past, right Anon?

What do you do?
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
>used goods

You are a butthurt faggot.
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I give her some tissues
ask if I can lick the cake frosting off her body

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>Ok anon, for you final exam, I want you to write me an essay on your waifu and defend why she isn't trash. If I like it, I'll take your V-Card and be your qt teacher milf slave
What do you say?
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
I'm not gonna betray my waifu and give you my v-card, the fuck is wrong with you. I might worship your legs for a bit but that's about it.
t. Literal flaming faggot
Fine, anal it is then. That doesn't count as losing you v-card right?

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Help me robots. Whenever I see a chubby girl, I can't help but fantasize about impregnating her and watching her grow and swell with my children. What's wrong with me?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
dont know - I myself just like fucking fat chicks
She looks like my mom.

What are you trying to say Satan?
Nothing at all OP. Chunky sluts are more curvy and give off a vibe of fertility.

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