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What's up robots, so I just had a really spooky, maybe even enraging experience but before I'll tell you all about it I'll have to give you all a backstory.
>be me 10 years ago
>6 years old
>parents divorced
>dad was an irresponsible asshole
>being raised by a single mother
>living in a crappy yet comfy apartment
>perfect for just 2 people
>one day mom meets some rich guy with a pretty decent job
>(this guy is my new dad)
>dislike him because of his red-neck-ish personality
>mom finds a better, well paying job
>after a couple of months they get married and we move out to a pretty huge and comfy apartment
>now I'm living with a dad I really dislike but at least I'm living far above Poland's standard of living which is nice
>Feelsbittersweetman
Now, back to the present.
>Soon I'm going to start 3rd grade of middle school
>I have a huge crush on a girl from my class
>perfect 10/10 in my standards, she is: shy, both cute and hot, nice to everyone, and she often wears clothes that make her look even cuter
>we've only texted 2-3 times on Snapchat
>Every day I pray to god for a chance of me becoming her bf because I'm such a socially awkward nerd
>The new snap-map feature for Snapchat comes out
>let's get stalkin.jpg
>check the snap map for the location of her Bitmoji
>not planning on going there and stalking her ofc
>see her house
>she lives in a pretty nice apartment
>decide to look for my grandma's house since it was in the same city
>after 10 minutes finally found it
>then I realized something
>start tracing over the road leading to my grandma's house
>holy shit
>no fucking way
>my crush lives in the same fucking building that I've lived in 10 years ago
>mfw I would have probably had some contact with my crush if my mom hadn't met my dad
Or maybe some jealous faggot messed the timeline up and made my mom meet my dad which resulted in us moving out and me not meeting my crush, or maybe I'm just the embodiment of paranoia. What should I do?
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underage b&
MODS!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOODSSSSSS!!
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>>38006162
Snapchat are you kidding me?
What is snapchat even?
Didn't exist when I was in middle school...
You must be a teenage 13 year old baby.
Baby boy you gotta run from this site. There are predators here on /r9k/
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What the fuck is this story? What does it even mean? What was the point? What is going on with this kid? What is basic storytelling and common sense? What?
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Survey on what type of thread robots hate seeing here the most.
http://www.strawpoll.me/13303057
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I hate 25+ too but not as much
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>>38006150
I never thought I hated traps more than when I came to this board due to all the prison gays
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Disappointed due to lack of britfeel.
/r9k/ im a bad artist but I want to draw lewd cutegirls please give inspiration
picture is Unrelated
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please I just want to be good
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>>38006140
look up tutorials on deviantart
practice drawing
adjust proportions until everything looks good
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>>38006140
why not dio sama
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How important is a girl's history really? I've fallen for the "I need a pure angel who has never spoken to a man in her life" meme, it probably stems from my insecurity about my own inexperience. So where should one actually care about it? Obviously a nonvirgin is a no-go. So in terms of number of relationships, nudes sent, etc, how much of those matter? Am I actually just a small, insecure, scared little boy on the inside?
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Sending nudes makes her a whore instantly and so does having a big amount of past relationships.
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>>38006067
a girls experience doesn't matter at all.
even an inexperienced girl wants a rich guy who works out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tuf59ex-U0
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>>38006067
Any sort of sexual thing makes her used goods.
Sending nudes, ERPing with a stranger, flirting with anyone.
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Do you have healthy poops?
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No.
I recently have been shitting out nothing but bricks and fuck it hurt like a bitch
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Glad this thread came up.
My last poop looked like this.
Like a regular turd in terms of color and consistency but with one "segment" this milky white color with little strands of white coming off it.
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>>38006031
Some kind of parasite most likely
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I lost my job because I told a gun joke to anxious staff member. It was a /r9k/ tier school shooter joke so I feel nothing but regret.
Whats the dumbest thing you've done this year?
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>>38005693
That's not dumb. They've probably convinced you it is, but it's not. They're the weak minded ones. Can't even take a fucking joke.
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>>38005693
story semi related
>a work in 2015
>coworker is talking about the guy who got arested for saying of f*cebook he would pull out children's hearts and eat them while they were still beating
>this dude is talking about it on and on like a true normie
>I make one comment
>"how could you even eat a kid's raw heart? that's just not possible"
>the dude clams up and tells me that I really creeped him out and he's no longer comfortable talking to me
>I didn't get in trouble but fuck normies, he brought it up and was talking for 10+ minutes about it
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>>38005693
I hired a escort to take my virginity and couldn't get it up. We ended up just watching youtube videos. She still make me pay.
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>lied In my application and said that I worked in my last job for 3 months even though I quit after one week
How fucked am I guys? Also the job I applied for was as a package handler at UPS
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>>38005677
If you quit your first job after a week, you won't be able to handle a package job. That work is grueling.
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>>38005677
my last job i quit after 2 weeks
im not going to mention that i worked there so there's no problem
the reason i left was for social reasons
did not fit in
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>>38005677
>>lied In my application and said that I worked in my last job for 3 months
It doesn't matter the minimum is 6 months. Saying 3 month is the same to them as 1 week.
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>another failed job interview
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a nice solution for you
>>38005284
>>38005450
>>
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>>38005656
At least you got to the interview stage desu
>>
>Go to a job interview
>Find out it's Juanita
>"So why does a college grad want to work here?"
>I just need a job
>OK, well call you
Fucking juanita
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MY MOM IS GETTING A NEW JOB WHERE SHE WORKS FROM HOME WHAT THE FUCK THAT MEANS SHE'LL BE HERE 24/7 AND NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE HOW THE FUCKING FUCK WILL I EVER JACK OFF ANYMORE AHHHHHHHHHHHGRIHQHPQEIGHREFKREBerhw37k4
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In the middle of the night. Or maybe take a break from jacking off. I'm a day and 22 hours in. The closest thing I've seen to porn is Brazilian funk videos on Instagram.
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>>38005637
Jack off when she's asleep, or just know where she is at all times.
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Maybe quitting jacking off will make you more confident and less girly you sad beta fuck
ill start
>6th Grade
>Playing outisde
>Girl jumps on my back with a sudden hug
>Freak out and throw her off
>6th Grade
>Girl in class tells me another girl likes me
>I look towards the girl in question, she's blushing
>Get incredibly nervous, respond "ew no way"
>7th Grade
>Hanging out with a friend late at night, it's kind of chilly
>He meets up with two girls
>The three of them are talking, I'm kind of quiet
>I want to leave, say "I'm freezing"
>One girl gives me a hug to warm me up
>I tell her to stop so she doesn't get cold
>7th Grade
>Recess
>Girl punches me on the shoulder and gives a shy smile
>Respond with "Ouch, what the fuck are you doing?"
>8th Grade
>Sit beside my crush
>Halfway through the year, she confesses to me
>"I love you etc."
>I am silent the entire time, stunned
>"I'm now officially your girlfriend"
>She grabs my hands, smiles, and leaves
>I avoid her as much as possible over the next few weeks
>Middle of recess one day "Anon, it's over"
>Intenserelief.jpg
I didn't have as many autistic moments in high school since I was known to be the guy who doesn't talk to girls. I'm even more relaxed now in uni.
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>>38005558
These stories are incredibly uneventful.
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>>38005558
>6th grade
>being a normie on the playground
>roastlet jumps on back because I'm a normie
>throw her off bc cooties n shit
>6th grade
>roastie tells me stacylet likes me
>I look towards her, my loins swelling with alpha pheromones
>"ew no way"
>7th grade
>hanging out with brad, he meets up with two girls
>say I'm cold so brittany and lacey immediately hug me
>tell her to stop because cooties
>8th grade
>sit next the autistic girl
>she does autistic things
>I avoid her and fuck stacy
Nice humble brags chad, post your face so mods ban you forever.
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>6th grade
>playing capture the flag with this kids hat
>the hat gets stolen
>I run up and tag the guy
>he changes the rules
>says we have to tackle each other
>I can't tackle him because I'm a little girl and he is a fatty
>he starts run to their base
>jump on his back
>he keeps moving forward
>I wrap my legs around him
>get my feet in his pockets
>pull down his pants with my legs
>he stops and throws me off his back
>I push him over before he can get his pants up
>he trips and eats shit
>snatch the hat
>he tries to bite my leg from the ground
>wiggle free
> get a running start
>jump at him
>land knee first across his head
>he's fugged
>starts crying
>I'm still mad
>start pounding him in the head with the bill of the hat
>other kids run over and pull me away
>fatty is bleeding from the nose and his pants are still around his ankles
>he rolls over and everyone sees this huge skid mark in his underwear
>laughter and eternal mockery
I went to school with him until we graduated and people still made fun of him for that day.
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What kind of vidya do robots play?
Would you play with other robots?
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Rocket League, WoW on private server. Planetside, battlefield, GW2, dwarf fortress and others.
I'd play with my gf if I had one.
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>>38005649
>I'd play with my gf if I had one.
I would kill for this right now. Girl I have crush on, just had her bf move in, has been trying to get me to play games with her. And roleplaying too. I can't do any of this shit with her in good conscience while I know she's spending all her time now with her bf. God help me the day she tells him anything we've done.
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I'm like one of 3 people on /r9k/ who plays Monster Hunter, which is weird because I'd expect it to be an essential for NEETs like us.
What are your thoughts on beer?
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>>38005386
all alcohol tastes like alcohol to me so now I drink grain alcohol mixed with tap water
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>>38005386
I like it because it gets me wankered.
I hate the taste of lager, I fucking love ale because it's dank.
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It's the only thing that makes me feel happy and complete in my life anymore but I can't drink it because every time I do I can feel my heart take another step closer to death as it weakens and burns while I lay in my bed at night fighting away the fear fueled tears.
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It is official! I am not autistic
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here is the test if you want to try for yourself https://psychology-tools.com/autism-spectrum-quotient/
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>>38005349
No techincally it means you're 50% autistic.
The test would say "AUTISTIC" at 26%, so at 25% you're still a fucking retard.
Or at least half retard.
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>>38005385
b-b-but scores in the 0-25 range indicate little or no autistic traits !
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During the last few days you may have seen intense spam of asexuality (((memes))). While others found solidarity, most robots were thoroughly annoyed.
It is I who was spamming 90% of those memes (a few Anons did hop on the bandwagon). I did it because I'm 22 and have been struggling with my sexuality because I was never interested in sex and didn't even know why someone would want to do that.
I took MDMA 5 hours ago alone in my room, with just my pens, papers and a pair of headphones to bump music while I pour out my psyche. MDMA was so powerful, so beneficial. It made everythnig feel safe while I dug through the hidden monsters in my mind. I have so many fresh Ideas for my life! Alas, this trip has also made it abundantly clear that I am actually asexual. I've found peace with myself and will cease to shit up the board with my neuroses
Goodbye Anons and thanks for tolerating me as long as you did. If any of you have any questions about the insanely theraputic effects of MDMA feel free to ask.
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didnt read your thread but what a shit flag
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>>38005336
I'm sorry Ms. Jackson...
I AM FOR REEEAL.
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>>38005418
Please read the thread pretty please. I'm being sincere.
>h-hey, uh, anon, um, I w-was wonderin' i-if, y-you know, like, y-you'd want t-to go t-to the a-anti-Drumpf rally a-after class w-with me m-maybe?
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>>38005213
I'll ravage your pale white asshole.
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>>38005246
he's like 13
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>>38005288
it only makes it better