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If you wouldn't swipe right then you aren't really lonely and desperate for companionship, just pretending to be a robot
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even robots have standards
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>>38412522
You're right I'm just not looking for a relationship right now.
Hey my phone autocompleted that phrase, epic.
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I will start:
>be me at work
>staff lunch at 1 PM
>mexican coworker grabs my meal and tells me "I will take that" with a grin
>I just stood there watching and smiling like a beta
>work with an empty stomach for the next few hours
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>3:00am
>wide awake
>need to piss
>my house has only one toilet, which is in the master bedroom
>dad is fast asleep in his master bedroom
>I woke him up once, when I was younger
>had a scary nightmare
>his exact words, he told me to "fuck off"
>3:30am
>need to piss
>try to sleep
>but need to piss
>4:00am
>getting desperate
>I reflect on my poor life decisions
>shouldn't have drank that big soda
>wait a minute, that soda..
>pick up the empty bottle and pull down my pants
>stick the tip of my dick in the neck
>my sweet release refills half the bottle
>tighten the cap back on and hide the bottle under my bed
>sleep soundly
>11:00am
>wake up
>dad is vacuuming the hall
>think nothing of it and walk past him
>hop into the bathroom, get undressed, and turn on the shower
>need to piss again
>watch the end of my golden stream fall into the drain
>suddenly remember the piss bottle
>frantically wash myself and dry off
>can't hear the vacuum cleaner anymore
>speed walk back into my room in a towel
>dad is holding the piss bottle; just staring at it in disbelief
>"are you fucking kidding me, Anon?"
>grab the bottle from him and pour it's contents into the toilet
>avoid eye contact for the next week
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>>38412787
jesus christ anon, you had to tell him your problem and why you peed in a bottle
at least it was your family
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>>38412787
How fucking old are you anon?
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>Sitting alone eating lunch
>Girl walks up to me who I haven't noticed much before, but I've just realized she's really pretty
>"Hi anon..."
>Sits across from me and looks down into her lap
>H-h-hi...
>"I just wanted to say hi"
>Oh, h-hi, haha
>Awkward silence for a long time
>"Look anon, I've had a crush on you for the past two years. You're really mysterious and I bet you probably like anime just like me"
>O-oh
>"I don't have any friends and I know you don't either. Can we just be boyfriend and girlfriend so we'll never have to be alone again? We don't need those popular kids if we have each other, even if we'll never fit in"
>O-okay
>She comes across the table and sits next to me then falls into my lap and cries tears of joy
Summer now, h-ha, this will happen next school year r-right? It's not too l-late, r-right?
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>>38514402
Fuck you anon.
You brought this feel back.
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no lifer lol go outside and be social
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>>38514402
Cute story, won't happen.
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can someone please tell me what is going on inside sjw's heads ?
at this date i genuinely still dont know
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>>38412453
Put /pol/ in a mirror and there you go.
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>"robots" say to hate "normies"
>yet they would kill each other as long as they get to have sex
Btw, sex is fucking disgusting.
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r9k minecraft server
IP: r9kserver.ddns.net
Sex_Dwarf, you should be unbanned now.
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>>38412400
is it pirate friendly or not
>15th July 2017
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>>38412355
>15th
Um anon, I have some news for you
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>parents want me to find a job
>spend entire day watching documentaries about living as a homeless person
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Have you seen carts of darkness on YouTube? It's pretty cool desu.
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>>38412294
"Chaaaaaaamp. It's time for you to get a job. I'm driving you to look for one, and I'm not taking no for an answer. Why the gloomy face? It's as easy as showing up, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you want the job. It's really that simple."
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>you aint worth a fuck you are stuck in youre fucking room fucking useless moron
>I AM SICK YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER IM AN OLD LADY
>I AM SO TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT YOU ARE LUCKY I DONT CALL THE COPS TO THROW YOUR ASS OUT
>NOT EVEN HOMELESS PEOPLE ARE AS DISGUSTING AS YOU
Next day
>Hi grandson :) How are you? Did you wake up angry? Why don't you talk to me? :( im of age I dont need this
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>When I was your age I had a job
> When I was your age I had a group of friends and we would try to get some girls
>You're just waiting for the girls to come to you, right?!
>We didn't have those shitty computers, smartphones, gaming consoles
>You spend too much time inside, go outside!
>Think about your life, your parents aren't gonna last forever
Next day
>Hi grandson, how are you? Why are you so apathetic? Talk to me!
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Stop eating krabby patties.
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Fuck you dude
whats up
Anonymous
Do you ever do slave work for your technologically inept family members? 2017-07-16 04:35:12 Post No.38412112
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Do you ever do slave work for your technologically inept family members? 2017-07-16 04:35:12 Post No.38412112
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Do you ever do slave work for your technologically inept family members?
Anonymous
2017-07-16 04:35:12
Post No. 38412112
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>be me
>at grandparents house bored as shit
>actual grandparents dont come home until about 5pm
>as soon as they do grandpa immediately wants me to do shit on his computer
>promised him that i would copy music from his pc to an sd card so he could listen to it in his car
>told him to save youtube links of the songs in his bookmarks
>expect like 10-20
>open folder, at least 70 links to songs
>bruh.mp3
>tell him its gonna take about half an hour or so
>he goes off to watch tv or something
>start downloading each individual video with convert2mp3.net
>have to look up the actual names for the songs/artists because the retards who uploaded it dont know how to correctly name the fucking videos
>finally finish and copy everything onto the sd card
>go tell him
>show him how little space its used up
>amazement.tiff
>we go to his car to test it
>it of course works
>show him how he can sort it by song/artist name, song length etc.
>moreamazement.xcf
>we go back inside
>hands me 30$
tfw i earn money by doing repetitive work for people
tfw im a slave
any similar stories from you guys?
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you must be 18+ to utilize this website.
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>>38412112
>paid
>slave
kek
Also, youtube-dl is your friend.
Learn a little batch processing and this would be 100x easier.
>youtube-dl --extract-audio --audio-format mp3 $(cat *.bookmark)
>fuck renaming, if he didn't give a shit then he won't now
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>>38412112
that's still over 15 dollars an hour you fuck
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a girl once touched my penis
ask me anything
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Do you even like your penis?
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>>38514367
how much you pay for it
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has a girl ever touched your penis?
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>see cute grill in parkinglot
>mytimrisnow.jpg
>hey I remember you from highschool
oh hi anon
>you wanna hang out sometime
>she gives me her Instagram
>it was fake
WHY the fuck do women do this
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>>38412002
>giving out your Instagram instead of your number
What the what?
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How do wagies keep their manhood?
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>>38411964
If you're a retail wagie, you don't. You have to swallow your pride and meekly endure all the bullshit that customers, co-workers, and bosses give you.
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>>38411964
their is no dignity to keep, but if you've been through their hell then you understand and empathize
you let them die but feel bad for them, like how Native Americans hunt animals and mourn them before they eat them
i do the same by not humiliating them further
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Those elderly Walmart greeters always depress. Like these old fucks are like 70 years old and probably have little or no money saved for retirement and Walmart just gives them a pity job for 20 hours a week to stand by the door and say hello to people, who probably ignore them anyway.
Save for retirement bros.
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Sex is just masturbation in a body of others.
Why would you want to have sex if masturbation is essentially the same thing and unlike sex it's totally safe.
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