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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6405. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Let's have a thread for my fellow shitskins and third world robots from Mexico.

How do you do fellow mexirobots?

It's friday yet again, what are your plans for the weekend?
117 posts and 18 images submitted.
>>
>>36457994
I'm not a mexirobot, but I'm from a spanish speaking country.
In this weekend I'll just study for college.
How about you?
>>
>>36457994
>How do you do fellow mexirobots?
Good I guess.

>It's friday yet again, what are your plans for the weekend?
Nothing. I went full NEET on spring break.
>>
>>36457994
anyone in this shitty board from Monterrey? I'd die to have a friend ; _____ ; im very lonely desu.

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>be 6 1'
>go to meet my extended family during a break
>"wow anon, do you play basketball?"
EVERY
TIME
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
>>
Oh boo hoo hoo
>>
>6'1
>Average height
>Playing basketball

Unless you live in some fucking Ching Chong or Spic country, you're not tall enough for basketball.
>>
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>>36457991
>6'1"
>tall enough for basketball
o i am laffin'

>girl has openly said to a friend of mine that she wants to fuck me
>she's not being ironic
>we're texting
>she starts insinuating herself
>she tries to turn the conversation into sexting
>I unironically try to avoid her nudes by sending her memes
>she is still trying to sext me
>I have anxiety so I start panicking
>"I'll send nudes if you send nudes too anon"
>Anxiety gets over me so I cry until I fall asleep
>I haven't replied to that last text

What do I do, robots? My dick says yay but my soul says nay
21 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
don't do nudes that shit will haunt you
>>
>>36457955
fucking hell you're actually autistic aren't you?
I just clicked on this board because I'm bored and this is the first fucking thread that showed up. You literally have everything going for you in this situation, just fucking get hard and send her a dick pic.
What the fuck is so difficult about this?

I swear you stupid mongoloids don't even deserve internet access. We should bring back slavery based on how little you contribute to the world ffs.
>>
>You want to see me nude? When can I come over?

Then you go over there and kill her and then kill yourself for being a fucking normie bitch

Do you think Old School Runescape is for normies?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
Not really, it's pretty solid game
>>
It's basically an endless grind with zero redeeming qualities that make things worthwhile in the end.
So No
>>
>>36457893

Yes, Runescape 3 is for true robots. All the normies play Old School.

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>terrified of being reincarnated as a KFC chicken
What stops you from suicide?
15 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>36457864
>implying the chickens know they are doomed or even notice when they are killed
>>
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>What stops you from suicide?
>>
I still have hope that if I work hard enough I can pass as a girl and people will think I'm one

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DO NOT USE OLIVE OIL
39 posts and 13 images submitted.
>>
>>36457830
I use it for my hair.
originally this time.
>>
>>36457848
DO NOT USE IT
>>
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>>36457830
Why not OP? What does olive oil do?

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people complain about the friendzone


but what if there is a
friendzone with benefits???

Maybe if you want a girl for sex you can do it without being in a relationship!!!
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
I'm not interested in casual sex.

One of the many reasons I roll my eyes back when women try to argue he "just wanted sex".
>>
>>36457817
it's not a "friendzone with benefits", it's friends with benefits

which is essentially sex friends/fuck buddies
welcome to real life
>>
>>36457836
wait so you fags complaining about the friendzone

you were actually just prude ass losers who couldnt handle talking to a woman like they were a friend?

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Be honest, if you woke up and saw this in the morning how easy would your life become?
28 posts and 3 images submitted.
>>
>>36457802
>blow huge loads when i fap to female POV
this doesnt count as gay does it?
>>
>>36457802
It would be harder, desu.
I wouldn't stop masturbating to my own tits and body.
Literally would take three hours in the bathroom, not counting makeup time, senpai.
>>
>>36457802
I'd wonder who left those steamed buns on me
Hope they're filled with char siew

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Ask a guy restoring his foreskin anything.
21 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>36457746
it's already too late, the damage is beyond repair
>>
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>>36457746
What is foreskin restoring and how do you do it? Why do you do it?
>>
>>36457768
Nope. Might not ever be 100% back but definitely 80ish.

>>36457774
Literally regrowing your foreskin. I started with rolling up what bit I had left and taping it now I wear that device at night. I just want my dick to be a bit more natural.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaAwKrnhPto

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Hello robots, female here (I know you like those), I have a deal for you. I'm probably the ideal waifu to a lot of you guys and I want a relationship for life with an interesting guy. I'm not physically attracted to men, which is good for you because appearance doesn't matter at all to me, but it also means I won't ever want you unless I am in love with who you are as a person.

Here are my specs:
>literal hhkv
>19
>long dark hair, glasses, petite body (pretty small T/A), I've been told I look 12-14.
>like anime and weebshit
>not that into vidya but open to it
>very polite and quiet, never swear in public
>act and dress femininely
>conservative-leaning politically
>I don't mind if you like porn or weird fetishes, and will participate if you want
>get horny often and will be happy to fuck whenever, will be submissive to your desires
>I will be there to support you, I won't bother you with my problems either
>I will never cheat on you or leave you, if I love you I will love you forever
>If you ever cheat on me I will kill you, but hopefully since you are here I don't have to worry about that.

For some of you this is probably your only chance at getting a girl, so make a post convincing me to fall in love with you.
192 posts and 34 images submitted.
>>
>I'm not physically attracted to men

What about girls (male) (tranny)
>>
Hey there it's me

I would like to put my ticket in, so I will do so now

*places ticket*

One Official /R9K/ Boyfriend contest, please !
>>
>>36457735
What does "interesting" mean for you?

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lads, i'm so fucked rn.

the girl who i've been orbiting for years, hoping she'd break up with her dumbass bf, just told me yesterday while she was high that she's having sexual fantasies of getting impregnated by him. how her birth control implant is expiring this month and her libido is coming back. so evidently, all she wants to do is fuck like a rabbit and get creampied. even though she doesn't want kids, she told me her hormones are driving her crazy.
she felt okay telling me this bc i'm her friend.
i am her friend. fuck

it should be me going balls deep inside of her. watching her body grow and changing and knowing it was I who did that to her.
fucking slut. she'll be riding on his cock every night.

it took me years to build up the confidence to even speak to a girl and now i have no idea what the fuck. i don't have anything to lose.
I haven't responded to her texts
32 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>36457728
this is pathetic lol
>>
>>36457728
Maintain a polite facade but never initiate conversation. Slowly cut contact
>>
>>36457728
And the worst part about your situation is that she knows that you want to fuck her and she's telling you these things on purpose. I suggest you dont act too interested but dont completely ignore her.

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It's a "sister wants you to try her baked goods" episode
22 posts and 10 images submitted.
>>
that's really cute, i hope you gave her lots of compliments even if they werent that great because it takes a lot of courage to try things and let others try it <3
>>
>>36457687
as long as there's no fruit in it and it baked propperly
>>
>sister constantly makes sweets and other food
>but she can't cook... At all.
>On top of this she tries weird recipes she finds online and adds her own personal "flair"
Her last endeavor was chocolate cupcakes (she substituted the butter for vegetable oil) and put cream cheese frosting on it which she mixed coffee grounds in

How the fuck do I tell my father that it's literally fucking impossible to get a gf as a young very short (5'3) male?

He's also very short but he's fucking 70 years old so he doesn't understand why his 24 year old son is such a loser.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
I'm an inch shorter than you and I've had girlfriends. You can get laid even if you're short.

Unfortunately for me, I was afraid of sex, turned down all sexual escalations, and now I can't attract anyone because I've become obese.
>>
>>36457625
Have you told him it's your height stopping you from getting a gf? what does he say to argue this?
>>
Considering you think it's your height and not that you think it is good idea to ask for advice on 4chan is kinda indicative of why you do not have a gf. Fag.

What's your sign Anon?
27 posts and 7 images submitted.
>>
>>36457566
im a libra, sorta fits desu, i can gel with it
>>
>>36457566
gemini
fuck you
>>
>>36457566
Thanks mr cohen for your surveys

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Anyone else get a feeling of satisfaction after saying the word "nigger"?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
fuck yo shit, cunt-ass nigga
>>
NIGGER SHIT
NIGGER SHIT
NIGGER SHIT
>>
>>36457551
Yes, I hate it
I feel like a retarded 14 year old
By contrast, saying nigga makes me feel empty and lame.
This is a real problem when I'm out in the real world.
I'm not even a poltard or anything


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