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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6494. page

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This guy slaps your boyfriend's ass. What do you do?
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
>>
>>36409831
Laugh when she breaks his jaw.
>>
>>36409831
Slap their ass right back
>>
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This guy's face is so autistic

I am never gonna buy something from them until they remove him from their site

his expression just unironically disgusts me, I don't know why

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>spend entire childhood wanting to play in a band
>3 childhood friends who sometimes play music with me - drummer, bassist, second guitarist
>spend all of middle school, high school, and first 2 years of college going through unmotivated singers who never want to practice
>3 friends don't really care that much either
>finally meet 10/10 qt singer at college with 10/10 voice
>new oneitis
>she's super into the band, 3 friends get back into it more too after hearing how good she is
>her and I are always practicing and writing songs together
>this goes on for a few weeks, we play our first show
>tfw her and I are playing a song we wrote together in front of 150 people
>looks me in the eyes as she's singing
>that smile
>im in love
>taking her back home after the show
>about to tell her how I feel
>"aw man anon, I wish my boyfriend could have been there tonight!"
>no
>look up her boyfriend later
>literally just a taller, cuter version of me
>they've been dating since high school
>absolutely 100% in love with her
>can never EVER tell her how I feel at the risk of causing trouble for the band
>start writing songs about it
>"wow anon, your songs have been getting a lot sadder recently, but I like them, they're powerful!"
>she's singing songs about herself
>she will never know
>we still hang out have private 1 on 1 rehearsals all the time
>she always gives me that same gorgeous smile while she's singing

I'm not sure how long I can keep living in this nightmare.
97 posts and 12 images submitted.
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>>36409807
quite a beautiful predicament you're in
>>
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>>36409865
my songwriting has never been better actually, not sure I can keep it up though
>>
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she sounds identical to Hope Sandoval. it's becoming hard to keep it together whenever we play this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uJ61jgFCMM

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>trying to get my hot female co-worker to cheat on her boyfriend of 5 years with me

Anyone got any tips to help me. I already flirt pretty hard with her and she responds pretty well. She says that her bf is going away tomorrow for work for a couple of days and I think this is my chance to make a move. Should I see if she wants to come over my place to watch a movie or does that sound lame?
16 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Have you tried crashing your car into a pole?
>>
>>36409777
She's just being nice and you're 'flirting' isn't even remotely noticeable. Sorry OP
>>
>>36409921
>>36409981
what the hell is your problems?

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v65
Some days, some nights
Some live, some die
In the way of the Samurai
Some fight, some bleed
Sun up to sun down
The sons of a battlecry

A battlecry
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
>>36409621
weedly reminder that Jin > mugen
>>
>>36409757
Weekly reminder that you = a faggot
>>
you lads watch any good anime this week?
you did work on that backlog, right?

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>tfw no big strong bear bf to keep me safe
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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if a puny hand is your idea of 'big and strong', you need to wake up.
>>
>>36409613
>tfw no tall bf who princess (male) carries me
>>
>>36409666
post hand then bb

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I don't like being alive.
24 posts and 4 images submitted.
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well you sure like attention whoring
>>
>>36409588
Find the source of the problem and fix it
>>
It's sad, because if you knew how it felt to be dead you would have enough information to decide.
Sadly, that's not the case.

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>run a youtube channel and stream on Twitch
>someone e-mails me about how there's a thread about me on lolcow
>be periodically checking the thread for the past year seeing whatever rumors people are spreading and what actual facts are getting leaked
>people are saying that they can't wait for my boyfriend cheat on me

I don't even express my political beliefs or say anything mean on social media. I hardly ever talk about my personal life. Yeah, I know I"m not very good looking and I do try to hide my insecurities when I'm on camera. A lot of people do and there's nothing wrong with it. They're not wishing me death or physical harm, but knowing that these people would find joy in seeing my friendships/relationships getting ruined is disheartening.

Why are these people wishing harm on someone they don't even know in real life?
147 posts and 21 images submitted.
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>People wrote mean things about me on the INTERNET! Can you believe it!
Where the fuck do you think you're posting right this very second?
>>
>>36409538
>Why are these people wishing harm on someone they don't even know in real life?
They project their views of life onto others. Gives them something to complain about.
>>
>>36409538
Are you really asking this on r9k?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHgM4C3jJig [Embed]

>tfw virgin and in college

Anyone else know this feel?
Vid somewhat related
28 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>36409480

>tfw didn't go to college so didn't have to suffer through it

Being a NEET has its upsides.
>>
>>36409480
>>tfw virgin and in college
I'd say at least 50% of college graduates go through as virgins. The "college culture" is just blown out of proportion.
>>
>>36409480
>tfw just finished last quarter of college as a virgin
>tfw taking a reclusive soul draining office job

at least I have wizardhood to look forward

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>tfw no software engineer bf
14 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
Hi, now you're my gf.
Me = this;
Gf->make_sandwich();
Wait;
Gf->do_sex(amazon, me);
>>
>>36409471
>baitposting this hard

I'm a software engineer and I also lift which, according to r9k, makes me a Chad. Want to be my gf?
>>
>>36409515
>>36409518
>gf
You guys are joking right?

Ever since /pol/ basically stole pepe and made him mainstream things have been different. I have a proposal for a change of board mascot. Another lovable cartoon to corrupt: the original pepe.

>smells bad
>shunned nearly universally
>his affections are not reciprocated by the incompatible female he pines over
>isn't yet corrupted or ruined

We could have the pleasure all to ourselves for months even years before it bleeds into /pol/.
28 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>36409466
please,get off the computer and seek sun light.and more importantly,have sex
>>
>>36409510
No. Get out. Reeeeeee
Also fuck you
>>
Whoa this is a pretty sweet idea nice

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I FUCKED UP BAD
>at college, about to go home for the day
>go to the bathroom before leaving the building
>usually take phone and wallet out of pants and place them on the toilet paper dispenser while I do my business
>finish up, wash hands, leave, start walk home
>halfway home when I realize there isn't anything in my pockets
>left phone and wallet on the toilet paper dispenser
>FUCKFUCKFKCUKUFKUCKFUCKUFKUCKUFUKCKUFUKCKFUKCUFUCKFKUCKUFKUCKUFCKUFKU
>they've been there for more than 7 min at this point, anybody could have gone into that stall
>start panicing really hard
>speed walk fast as I can back to the building I left
>rush to the bathroom
>accidentally go into the wrong bathroom, the one I left my stuff in is two floors up
>FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK
>run up the stairs, get to the bathroom
>my shit's fucking gone

I FUCKING FUCKED R9K
THAT PHONE WAS UNLOCKED AND FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH ABSOLUTE DEGENERATE PORN, INCLUDING LOLI
THEY HAVE MY ID TOO, MY LIFE IS FUCKING OVER

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
29 posts and 6 images submitted.
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Call your phone? Are you dumb?
>>
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This, call it RIGHT NOW and keep us updated
>>
>>36409322
>>36409371

it's a fucking old ass nexus 5, so the battery is usually dead by the end of the day
when I checked it in the bathroom, it was at 5%
it's no doubt dead right now

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>People in 2017 still go to college for fine arts and libshit degrees
Why? Are they seriously that delusional?
16 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>2017
>People are still falling for the college meme
>>
>>36409215
College is for networking. Fine arts degree just qualifies you to either teach or get a bullshit corporate job working on graphs and fliers. To pay off that college debt.
There were artists before there were art schools.
>>
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>2017
>People aren't yet falling for the trade meme
Enjoy your job at McDick's, unicucks

>tfw cute boy in class glances in my direction
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Only matters if you're a dude. Males will scope out females by instinct.
>>
I bet your asshole felt on fire you cock milker
>>
I don't get this.
Do you mean cute as in the picture you posted or cute as in how women refer to chads?
If it is cute as in the picture you posted then why would you feel like your getting fucked anally since you would presumably want to fuck him?

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If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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"Do you think I drink my own piss for my health? No. Because it's sterile and I like the taste."
>>
If OP can dodge a vagina, he can't dodge trap dick.
>>
>>36409129
If you can dodge a ball, you can dodge child support payments.

>ITT FACTS BOUT YOU

>I have unironically been aroused by watching a woman shit
>my dick is at least 6 incjes erect
>people will assume I am cooler than you at a basic visual glance
15 posts and 5 images submitted.
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FACT: OP is a faggot

oregono
>>
I would have killed myself if it wasn't for having internet
>>
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>inb4 notmies brag about their sexual accomplishments ITT


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