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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4278. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Thread where you share stories that ocurred to you in clubs, pubs, etc. Also share your autism with us anon it's ok. I'll begin

>Be me
>In a club
>Head to exchange the drink coupons they give with your entrance ticket
>Call cute bartender girl
>Ask for a whisky with cola
>She pours It
>Bartender says "smile, it's free" while giving me a huge, charming smile
>I smile in an awkward as fuck way
>Go again with my colleagues
>After I finished my drink wait till she finishes her turn, so when i get another drink she won't confront me about being an autist.

Why people need to make fun of awkward people? Don't they realise they make It worse?
22 posts and 3 images submitted.
>>
>live with brother because I'm a cripple and can't take care of myself
>he takes me to clubs every few weeks
>pays for my drinks in exchange for me helping him get girls because I guess they're into the idea that he has to help take care of me
>get home after a night of drinking
>he's fucking some new chick in his room
>wheel into mine and lay in the bed staring at the ceiling
I could probably bring girls home too if I tried but it wouldn't matter because I can't feel my dick.
>>
>>37827591
Fuck man, your brother sounds like a dick. Is he nice to you at least?
>>
>>37827712
He's nice to me. He pays for my drinks when we go to the clubs. I'm a heavy drinker so that's usually worth it to me. I might try and find a girl to sit on my face out of pity next time. He also drives me around when I need to go somewhere and stuff like that.

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>Go to eat steak with normalfags
>Ask for it to be well done
>All the normies gets insta mad and start bonbarding me with facts about how well done steak is runing the meat etc
>Mfw I delay everyone's order
Enjoy your meme food (if you can) normalfags.
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>37827478
>not ordering chicken tendies
t. Cuck who doesn't have any good boy points
>>
>>37827478
>Ordering meat
>Ever
Toppest kek
>>
>>37827478
I never ate meat since I moved out of my parent's home because I find it to be a bloody and disgusting mess.

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>be walking my dog in the neighborhood
>some high school age girls drive by in a noisy old convertible and stop right next to me
>one of them leans out of the window and says something to me with a taunting look on her face but I can't hear what it is
>they both laugh and drive away as I cough from the exhaust fumes
fucking hell , I should've just stayed in my room
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37827467
I HATE WHEN NORMIES DO THIIIIIIS
>>
>>37827986
the worst part is when you think there's a chance they might be accepting you or complimenting you. you know it's unlikely but there's still a chance and it eats you inside
>>
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAH
HAHAHA
HAHAH
HAHA
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HA
H

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Post your last text with a female lads.

If you don't have any texts with females then post your last text in general.

If you don't have any texts at all from anyone than I apologize for coming to your board to shitpost robots.
71 posts and 22 images submitted.
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Basically circle jerking that we both have great taste in lewd things.
>>
Well then apologise and leave normie
>>
>>37827452
Cringe desu phamb

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fucking help me guys

i have this dude on snapchat, seems cool, known him for about a year now, we met on a vidya

we make faggot jokes on occasion, but i guess it turned out that he really was gay

he snapped me and said "be my boyfriend" and i just replied "okay" cause i didnt really think much of it

he replies super seriously "Really? Let's do it."

REEEEEEEEEEEE HELP HOW DO I GET THE FAGGOT AWAY FROM ME WITHOUT BEING RUDE REEEE I DIDNT MEAN IT
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>37827449
The only way
let him fuck you in your ass until he is satisfied.
>>
>>37827449
Why do so many of you guys get yourself into situations like this by agreeing?
>>
>>37827535
BUT IM NOT GAY REEEEEE

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>See cute trap picture
>Know I like it
>Mostly just makes me feel bad because I'm not cute or 2D and I'm constantly getting older

I hate that this has become a problem for me. Fuck you, /r9k/.
31 posts and 9 images submitted.
>>
You'll never be a woman.

Not original
>>
>>37827441
I actually experience the same thing. It kinda sucks. Also where is that picture from?
>>
>>37827490
I know I won't, I don't want to be. I want to be a cute small boy that doesn't age.

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> 5'5"
> 4" erect penis BONE-PRESSED
> hideous facial features
> horrible eyesight and eye doctor won't let me get contacts
> zero social skills
> zero friends
> never had any kind of emotional relationship with anyone or anything

AKUMU difficulty life
30 posts and 10 images submitted.
>>
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Honestly it sounds like you should just end it all right here, m8.
>>
Women instantly pass out from all the orgasms when they're with me. Constantly blueballed.
>>
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>>37827432
>Female, blonde, early 20's.
>Brilliant social skills and loads of friends but as Robbie Williams said "The only thing worse than being alone is with people who make you feel alone" so I'm actually pretty lonely.
>Extremely introverted and shy, find it hard to go to clubs and talk to the guys.
>Face misogyny from men through the pay-gap among many other things.
>Not allowed on here because I am a girl even though I have suffered more than you virgins. I can't even get out of the bed sometimes, I put my phone on sleep instead and go back to sleep, that's how depressed I am.

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>come on anon what are you waiting for *giggles* have a taste!
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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I would go for the ass immediately
>>
Where's her nut sack and dick, I ain't tasting vagina
>>
You mean a taste of two years worth of semen? Fuck no, slut.

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Has anyone here encountered a "nice girl", slags who try to get with you by being really submissive? Do they know having zero self-esteem and trying to sympathy bait us into relationships is unattractive?
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>37827427
It's honestly really sexist of women that they think being kind makes them attractive

Men aren't vending machines that you put kindness tokens into and get sex out of

#sorrynotsorry
>>
>>37827427
>somehow get girl on snapchat
>we talk
>she's not 8/10 but I want practice gf
>talk her up
>she gets pretty attached
>meet her irl
>buttfuckugly.jpg
>never talk to her again
Whew, that was a close one.
>>
>>37827493
Yeah and these chicks think it's completely acceptable. Sickening.

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>There's nothing wrong with being a slut!
>There's nothing wrong with being a sex worker anon!
>meanwhile the majority of porn stars were raped or molested as children
Really makes your thinker tinker, dunnit?
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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the ironic part is beta males support the decay of society by liberating women

it's almost like they win in the end
>>
If you want to survive in the current year you must accept all forms of degeneracy. I remember I was watching the daily show with Trevor nigger and they dedicated the show to the poor black actors because less women wanted to be in scenes with them or asked for higher pay. This is the state of our western culture.
>>
Go back to /pol/, faggot
GET OFF MY BOARD REEEEEEEEEE

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>tfw no bf to listen nightcore with
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6HWv8KDh7krsos7-N_GlAh8WFW_avnUl
218 posts and 33 images submitted.
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>tfw no fembot that listens to nightcore to sexually abuse by doing things like strapping her down to my surgical table and ripping off her fat meat curtains then put screwdivers underneath her fingernails and jam them in while fingering her.
>>
>>37827423

What do you want, 'fembot'?
>>
>tfw no bf who turns me into his pet doggy gf

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>have you ever been in a fight anon?
Today i've defeated chad,he tried to choke me and i punched him in his face,that lucky shoot knocked him out
8 posts and 5 images submitted.
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I gave up the only thing I enjoyed in this world

the idea of fighting and winning
>>
>>37827372
no but i'd like to
fist fights don't scare me but the idea of someone pulling out a knife spooks me beyond repair
i don't wanna die having never punched someone
>>
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>>37827372

Next day, Stacies complain about you.
Should he have KO'ed you, they would have talked about how strong he is.
Come tomorrow and report on my Seer's abilities.

> Been there, lived that

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>Flick from 2011
>PARTY ROCKERS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT
17 posts and 5 images submitted.
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Is this /tv/ forcing this shit or is it our very own autists?
>>
>>37827413
It's literally one person. Give it a week and it'll die out. OP needs to go to /s4s/ with this garbage
>>
>>37827368
It's party rock IS IN the house tonight you beta

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Here's a song I just wrote about a night club I used to vist in Edinburgh, Scotland.

Tell me what you think bots
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>37827357
really good anon.
keep it up.
>>
Sounds great, I love the sound of peace and quiet.
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>>37827357
ITS SHITE BEING SCOTTISH
WERE THE LOWEST OF THE LOW
THE SCUM OF THE EARTH

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my boss yelled at me again
13 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>37827332
Did you forget to stroke his balls when you sucked him off?
>>
Hahaha faggot got yelled at by his boss hahaha
>>
>>37827332
That's what you get for being a wagie


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