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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3283. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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I have diarrhea AMA
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38079792
do you have diareaaaaa?
>>
>>38079792
Can I lick your ass clean?
>>
Is it the really good kind that doesnt hurt and makes you feel purified or the "hot lava rushing out of my asshole" kind?

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What's the point of being born attractive when you have a 5 inch dick
13 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38079662
If you're attractive then people are generally nicer to you and it sort of gives you a bit of a boost throughout life. It helps with having friends, it helps push your career forward, etc.

You're probably not attractive though.
>>
I don't know, I am unattractive and have a small dick.
>>
>>38079662
What's the point of being born attractive with a 7 inch dick when you have autism

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WHy didnt you guys get doom
it is 1 dollar on steam
you could mod it
the moonman mod lets you kill the liberal sjws that ruin your life
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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but ive had it in my library since 09
>>
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>>38079547
i bought mw2 instead of getting a cheap rip off
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>>38079604
I got mw2 and the only good part of that was shooting up the airport you normie, cod is for normies

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Female friend tells me to hug her properly, wtf does she mean?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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You're probably scared of making contact and hug awkwardly
>>
Wrap your arms thight around her, one arm should go above her shoulder, the other one underneath.
Put your chin in her neck.
That's the "good friend" hug
>>
>>38079462
means that you are a faggot and should kill yourself.

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it turns out that my oneitis grew up without a father figure

how can i capitalize on that
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Women like this are by a big chance feminist cunts but if your lucky shes not
>>
>>38079371
Act assertive and decide what the two of you do together. If it gets serious, have her call you Daddy.
>>
Paint yourself black and walk into her/his house and say I'm back

You'll totally get them like that

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>morrowind is more real for me than real life
Anyone else know this feel?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38079319

Ya, A crab could probably kill you if it wanted to.
>>
It's not more real, I just prefer it to real life

I often think about living in Balmora or Vivec. I'd probably just visit Vivec though, I don't like living in big cities but that's where all the culture is
>>
>>38079353
I'd get lost in Vivec desu

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Just tried pic rel, nearly made me cry in the end.
Can anybody suggest other decent drama anime that makes you feel HURT like this one?
15 posts and 2 images submitted.
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wrong board.
>>>> /a/
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>>38079255
I need anime that creates feels, not a composed list of any garbage with tag "drama" and high ratings on MAL.
>>
>>38079255
fuck off, it's better than BBC thread #32

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https://www.zeemaps.com/map?group=2560398

Zeemaps general, post stories, and other original shit.
37 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>posted marker yesterday
>still no replies
When's a good time to end it all?
>>
>>38079284

This was just posted now and when it was posted yesterday there were plenty of replies.
>>
>>38079346
uhh i think he didnt mean the thread

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tfw I will never be happy in my life, never become a normie or create anything of value and always be a lonely weirdo.

Can somebody help me somehow?
17 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Nope lol. Im in the same boat and even a therapist doesn't help. Doctor doesn't care.

My life is fucked. I wish I had a way to guarantee my death by suicide.
>>
you don't need to make anything of value to other people just make things you like
>>
>>38079254
Hanging yourself pretty much guarantees you death if you do it correctly but it's just nasty.

I'm still too big of a pussy for a suicide.

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>tfw you trust no thotties
1 post in this thread = 1 fembot dies
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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but fembots don't exist, so nobody will be dying as a result of this thread
>>
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Helping the greater good
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>>38079180
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thoth

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>Find high priced escort on Backpage
>Ad says "NO AA SRY"
>Agree to $300 for an hour
>Go to her hotel and call her
>She asks what ethnicity I am
>Tell her I'm white and ask her why she doesn't do black guys
>She says "Okaaaay well I don't usually do black guys because I got robbed at gunpoint for $1,300 last month"
>Tell her in my most professional voice "I'm not like that, you can trust me I'm in the military" (I'm not)
>Proceed to put down $300 on the table and have sex with her
>Afterwards pull out a gun and tell her to give me all her fucking money
>She's crying
>Tell her quit fucking crying and gimme all your money
>She gives me $700
>Get out and haul ass to my car parked 2 blocks away and drive off

Holy FUCK that was a rush. Why aren't you faggots robbing prostitutes? They can't fucking do anything about it and this literally paid my rent for the month
40 posts and 9 images submitted.
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>>38079146
Sounds fun, but dangerous. Be wary of peripheral pimps next time m'anon...
>>
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>>38079146
Sure that happened. Why would anyone lie on the internet, right?
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>>38079379
I went to meet her about 2 hours from where I live and I used a burner number and fake name. There's really no way she or her pimp can track me, and she had an out-of-state number which tells me she was just visiting.

It was honestly one of the biggest rushes I've ever had in my life. All memes aside I'd probably never do it again, but I'd never go to an escort again either.

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how do I get a ugly gf
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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tinde

originay
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>>38079154
thank subdivided Victor
>>
>>38079139
this is harder than you'd think... im currently dating a hot girl and i dont have problem getting hot women.

however, ugly girls dont trust me, so they avoid me... fucking them is harder than ever since they are all too weary of me hitting on them.

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Do you ever finish masturbating and feel like you just raped yourself? Like, you weren't even horny but for whatever reason, you jerked it anyway? You jerked your little half hard penis until you had a weak orgasm to a type of porn that you're not really into, and when you're done, you're lying there feeling violated? But you can't blame anyone else but you.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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I'm warning you, boys. Only masturbate when you want to. Only masturbate to normal porn. The orgasm is still the same, especially if you take breaks between nuts.
>>
>>38079129
I wouldn't go that far but I have jerk ed it when I wasn't 100% feeling it.
It's not satisfying.
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>>38079129
That looks like young Anthony Fantano, before he was forced to turn to meme videos as a way to forget his traumatic past.

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Is 5.5 inches of penor enough? It's the main source of my low self-confidence. It's even worse since I'm a tall, robust guy. do i even have a chance in this world
24 posts and 9 images submitted.
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5.5 is literally the average so yes

regardless, unlike what r9k believes, sex and girls aren't everything there is to life you know
>>
No chick will be satisfied with a dick less than 6.5 inches. That's like bare minimum, unless she's a virgin in high scool. Anything lower and she's faking it. Don't expect her to cum buckets if you're under 7.

t. Femanon (my friends say the same thing)
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>>38079114
>replying to such obvious bait sincerely
???????????

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>tfw the average male in the US loses virginity at 16.8 and the average female in the US loses virginity at 17.2
WHERE DID WE GO WRONG
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>Be Me
>22 and still a HHKV
>>
>>38079060
Back up your research with source, knave, or else I shall refuse to believe your honeyed words. Statistics about virginity are oh so rare to find, and that only makes them fake when you refuse to bring credible evidence.
>>
>>38079220
>knave

Why can't you just talk normally instead of making it painstakingly obvious you're trying to be different? It's pretty cringeworthy


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