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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 895. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Would you date Miley Cyrus?
84 posts and 14 images submitted.
I'm only attracted to men so no.
No, but I would engage in sexual relations with her.
sure i'd give it ago

"I've got a friend I want you to meet today, Champ - says he's got plenty of positions available for a young star like you. Whaddya mean working here would be embarrassing? Champ, my first job was sweeping floors for your great-grandparents when I was 16 years old. It was tedious work, but I earned enough on the side to buy me a Mustang and pay my way through the first two years of college. Whaddya mean why don't I help you get a job at the company? Champ, you give a poor man a fish and you feed him for a day. You teach him to fish and you give him an occupation that will feed him for a lifetime. It's all about being independent. Champ."

"Champ, meet Jake. Jake, this is my son I've been telling you about. Go ahead and shake his hand, Champ. But not until after he's had his coffee. You don't wanna disturb a man until he's had his coffee. Anyway, Jake, my boy here needs a job. He's smart but he needs a kick in the butt every now and again to get him goin'. Besides, he's been spending too much time on that damn computer. I'm even thinking of throwing it away. You think he can get a job 'round here, cleaning couches and learning the trade?"
50 posts and 24 images submitted.
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Fuck you faggot I'm not getting a job
>Fuck off dad, im just waiting for you and mom to die so i can live off the inheritance. I dont work, work is for filthy wagies. When are you dying anyway? You already have grey hairs, you should be one foot away from the grave. PS, tell Jake he can suck muh dick.
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Quitters never win, and winners never quit, Champ. I want you to go back into his office right now, give him a firm handshake, an tell him you're the right man for the job.

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omegle thread
tag : r9k
22 posts and 1 images submitted.
yoou guys are gay
if you are black chick f u
its girls here wtf

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creeper discord thread vol.2
previous thread >>39202472

>leave main server and change nickname
>all goes good for a few weeks
>one guy recognises me
>follows me around everywhere telling everyone my original nickname
>becomes super attachted to me
i honeslty dont know how to get rid of him

talk about autistic shit you experienced
31 posts and 10 images submitted.
OP eternally btfo hahahaha
>i honeslty dont know how to get rid of him
>leave main server and change nickname
how about make a new account
he knows my typingstyle and is already in all my favorite servers

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Should I off myself or carry on through another year of barely surviving college and the abuse from my mother? I just don't feel like waking up tomorrow. I don't see the point to any of it anymore. No amount of education can change the fact that I'm alone and will never love anyone.
31 posts and 6 images submitted.
not even joking I should have killed myself about 17 years ago even at that point life was a nightmare (I didn't realize it) but holy shit it's like things just get worse as more time goes by.
i couldnt kms beause of fear of failing and how everyone wpuld cone running quickly, if i lived my parents would feed me mush and wipe my ass and hate me and mock me for trying to die. i just wish i could meet someone irl who would happily dump a box of buckshot in my forehead someplace deep in some woods

im not encouraging you to because i know how hard it would be for me to actually do it and im sorry you feel this way
Maybe I'll just hang myself or slit my wrists in a bathtub. What's the most painless and cheap way to go? I don't want some poor bastard to have to clean up my dead body.

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>go to list of recommended readings for my intro to Economics class
>it's 50 pages long
25 posts and 4 images submitted.
i dont know your feel but i sympathise, anon

stfu you know its original dont try me
Why would you read anything? Just look up shit on wikipedia the day for your exams or whatever.
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>reading crime and punishment
>blow throught 100 pages day
>500 page book

ITT: post your fetishes. It's okay guys, only God can judge us ( and the government )

Me: facefuck / throatfuck
65 posts and 16 images submitted.
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girls putting ice in their underwear
Losing my virginity to my virgin bride on our wedding day.
I want to bang girls between the ages of 12-17

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Going to the gym for the first time. I weigh 350lbs.

What exercise do you guys recommend? Bike? Treadmill?
42 posts and 5 images submitted.
Whatever you do, just make sure you count your calories. Easiest way to lose weight.
A long drop hanging

Walk because it is healthy. Don't bother exercising to lose weight, you should be focusing on not stuffing your fat fuck face full of greasy food.

You probably eat something like 3500-4000 calories a day. You should be eating something like 2000 calories a day. Burning 1500-2000 calories through exercise requires extremely strenuous and lengthy exercise. Just stop eating so much.

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Why do women hate virgins so much? How are you even supposed to lose your virginity when they can all sense you're a virgin and won't want anything to do with you?
79 posts and 8 images submitted.
Cute girl, OP.
You don't. You live through the depression and anxiety until you can't take more of it then kill yourself like I'm going to very soon.
There is no thought out reason, it is just biology. They see handsome Chad they feel good. They see ugly incel they feel bad. The conscious part of them works constantly to bring about satisfaction of their senses, but they likely aren't aware of why they hate virgins. They might even blame it on personality which is simply code for how a person makes them feel.

how different would your life be if this girl decided to fuck you every week.
37 posts and 4 images submitted.
Would be quite different if I got to fuck Enji Night every week.
it would be very different. girls don't even look at me let alone fuck me.
I'd have more motivation to improve life.

But I would also long to sever any tethers of commitment to her.

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>You can't compete with this in a million years.
23 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>now you can
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but can you compete with this?

do u know what happened to him here? is it a disease?

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>tfw fucking your coworker and she tells you her pussy is leaking your cum at work
no feel greater than this
57 posts and 5 images submitted.
pathetic cums
your ropes should be like spiderman's
and cling deeply within her
affording your wicked sperm ample opportunity to invade her egg chambers
i dont know if that's possible
Sure it is. Eat plenty of spinach, it's high in zinc.

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Any other robots drunk as shit and want to talk? I'm drunk as shit, want to talk?
25 posts and 3 images submitted.
I'm not drunk but I'll talk. What's on your mind Anon?
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i really should go to bed
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Not much anon, I'm just miserable as usual, what is going on on your end?

I'm never going to bed. Why would you ever want to go to bed?

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I've never understood why people don't just go for the nuts in a fight.
>be me
>second year in junior high
>get teased by people because I'm 4"5 also black
>they call me niglet
>one guy takes it too far
>he's like 5"7 a fucking giant
>steals my lunchbox
>motherfucker starts taking shit out and eating my food
>grab him by the nuts
>he drops my lunchbox and punches me
>in a fit of autistic rage i receive 0 damage
>"apologize or I'll squeeze them till they pop"
>he keeps hitting me
>i squeeze as hard as my tiny hands can
>screams like a bitch
>attracts the lunch monitor's attention
>i get suspended
>everyone calls me nutcracker when i return
>no one calls me niglet anymore
>name follows to high school and no one fucks with the nutcracker

Seriously, just go for the nuts once and no one will try to fight you again
28 posts and 9 images submitted.
people don't go for the nuts because it is seen as cowardly by others and 9 times out of 10 there will be a few people to witness it
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>giving a shit what people will think of you after a fight over winning said fight and no one fucking with you ever again
>he's like 5"7 a fucking giant
good one nutcracker,laughed wholeheartedly

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Why haven't you nerds gotten laid?

Being a nerd is currently cool at the moment.
25 posts and 6 images submitted.
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That is not a nerd. That is a LARPer seeking unique attention.
bait, but the "nerd" girls like are literrally just chads with a messier haircut and glasses. The real nerds are just guys who never made it in more social events so they turned to individualistic ideas like posting on anime forums

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