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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1262. page

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There are often self-deprecating threads around here so lets be nice about ourselves. What are some good traits about yourself? What are you talented at?
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
The people I usually associate with find me funny.
Gj gaise!
I'm extremely self-important, and despite that I have the good manners to keep myself away from others in quarantine.

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"So anon, why would you like to work here? What was it about our company that attracted you?"
35 posts and 10 images submitted.
the money, definitely the money
I want to work at your company so when you are not ready and looking the other way I can rip your top open and drink your guts.
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because i need money and a job to live and maybe pop bottles on the weekends too.

literally every dude that was like :ooo ur company blah blah" is lying they all just want a job too and its a bullshit kiss ass question

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How do i reply to this? I'm new to tinder im normally the one messaging first and making an effort? What should I say? I going to compliment her back but how do I carry on the conversation?
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
Don't worry it's probably a bot
this is such a sad thread
Just installed tinder 3 hours ago. Is it normal to not have any matches the first time? I have pretty high standards (I swiped left to fat, black, old, and ugly girls). I think I only swiped right 30% of the people there.

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Do you think you'll ever meet a girl who will accept your autism and want to be with you?

Can you actually imagine that back in the day even autistic introverts could have a loving gf?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
No, I've given up and I'm slowly starting to not care anymore. Affection and intimacy are privileges, like hot water. Not everyone gets access to it.
If i ever do what i want to do i will,probably. It is destiny but i am going at destiny's own pace.
Probably not. In the past autistic introverts could get spouses because traditional culture pushed marriage onto everyone, even retarded spergs. Now that traditional culture has been destroyed and we are pretty much have to get by on our own merit, it is indeed hopeless for the robot.

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>wake up
>decide hating roasties is silly and I should stop it
>go online
>come across a forum thread by pure coincidence
>mfw it's a bunch of roasties detailing how they submitted themselves all the weird grotesque fetishes that Chad was into
>mfw some even eat Chad's shit just to keep him

I shouldn't hate roasties right?
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
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What forum? This be comedy in the making!
That's when you realize you should become Chad.
men and women are equally degenerate desu

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ITT: Physical exercise
I simply do not feel the need to exercise. I do not get enjoyment from anything due to depression. I do not enjoy exercising at all, no satisfaction. I have tried to exercise as a robot but I only feel the pain from my weak muscles, no satisfaction, no will to continue. I have no willpower to do anything really. Eventually I gave up completely. There's no way for me to even try to become even slightly acceptable to a woman. I guess I just fell for the women meme.
13 posts and 3 images submitted.
How long did you actually TRY before you gave up?
It takes time to get fit, anon. Time and dedication. You're not gonna see results in a week, or that dramatic a turn in just a month. Hell, when I started jogging, I didn't even enjoy it that much.

What helped was setting goals to break, and the patience that comes with knowing the effort put in will equal results out. When you start, set some simple goals for yourself. Then when you hit those, you'll feel satisfied, and want to go farther with it.
I have been trying for several months, but my problem was motivation and lack of willpower. I have lost my will to exercise in the first month and only continued by forcing myself to do it. There was no satisfaction in trying to get fit, and I certainly didn't feel a bit of enjoyment or happiness when my arms weren't as much of sticks as they used to be.
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There are two types of people in the world.

Those who exercise and those who don't.

>get my first serious gf since like 6 years ago when i was 15
>lose my virginity to her, she didn't know i was a virgin
>don't think she was a virgin but whatever
>she is a somewhat shy girl but pretty nice to talk to, a good listener
>probably like 5ft 4 and 60kg, brunette with 7/10 face
>things move faster than i expect and we are having sex like every other day
>then comes the problem
>every time i make a move to fuck her in the ass she starts making excuses
>'ive not done it before'
>'i dunno its just kind of weird'
>'it might hurt'
>been together three weeks and still not done anal

What am I supposed to do with a girl thats holding out on me? I can tell it bothers her every time she turns me down, should I just slip it in her shitter without saying anything one time? Should I just leave her? Anal is a real turn on for me so it's kind of a disappointment that I've not done it yet.
20 posts and 1 images submitted.
>what all whitegirls want.webm
If it's been like three weeks and you still haven't fucked her ass it's time to move on, she'll never do it, when a woman says "maybe" she means "no". Either rape that bitch and take what you want, or move on quietly.
5'4 and 60kg.

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>tfw so detached from my humanity all I want to do with my life is study and make depressive/atmospheric black metal
10 posts and 6 images submitted.
You have a bandcamp OP? I'll listen to your work.

Not yet, I've started compiling some songs I've made over the years and build on them/make more. I'm not a fan of bm vocals though, so i'll probably just do melancholy vocals + some normal spoken word.
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D-do you think this would be a good bit if I had better production quality?

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When a girl loves you, she wants your attention, time, love, money, status, affection.
When a boy loves you, he wants your dick.

Which one sounds better to you?
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
the first one sounds like a lot of effort
The boy. He knows what he wants and skips the bullshit.
The boy. It sounds a lot more worthwhile to everybody, to be quite honest.

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So I just edged for four days, preparing for a date because edging gives me the balls to go in and make moves. But just a couple of hours before the date I came. Is there any way I can still get really horny?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
please help. bumpo dumpo doodee doo
/r9k/ sure is normieville now.
You have bitten off more than you can chew. Looks like this date is gonna be a dud if you have no sexual charge built up.

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who else here epileptic?
>paramedics had to enter my room again
>they had to wade through 2 feet of cum napkins on the floor
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
I have epilepsy but ya no cum napkins that is fucking disgusting
They gave a shit for sure, maybe the foul and NEET smell did it
Is that Michael Jackson in his coffin?

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>tfw fucked up bite and occlusion give you chinletism

Is there any fix for this shit?
NOT ME mods fuck off but my profile is the same

>be me
>growing up with allergy problems, retard dad told me it was ok to breathe out of my mouth
>did so
>parents never cared to fix my overbite
>profile varies from pic to Ed from Ed Edd n Eddy tier

it truly is a death sentence.
Is the only fix surgery? I'm worried even that won't work with stories of people who had the surgery have their jaws rebound within 2 years.
/-let gen in general, manlets/wristlets/jawlets welcome
74 posts and 13 images submitted.
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Johnny Depp is more attractive than Gaston. Stop posting this shit faggot.
who even

surgery is only fix

post a picture of your favourite r9k femanon that you've saved
27 posts and 22 images submitted.
isn't that a trap op
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Man I love Kiki, does anyone have her contacts or something?
been trying to find her with no dice.
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I think it's the short hair/skinny body/light brown skin/ and the fact she's dominican that gets my blood pumping.

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Any feline experts?

My cat has been pregnant for what seems like forever, she's real big now.
Tonights she's been incredibly clingy, like meowing at me (she's a really quiet cat usually), laying against me, and a weird smell coming from her.
So I'm wondering, does this mean today is the day or is it another waiting thing?
I don't know her due date and I!m getting tired of sign after sign, I just want to know if this is the final stage, is she close, and if so, how much longer?
15 posts and 2 images submitted.
The kittens have died and are now festering inside of her womb
Thanks, mister edgy, for this truly helpful post.

Give her a box in a closet, somewhere kinda closed off so she feels her kittens will be secure.

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>be teenager me
>try to fap for the first time
>think about fucking a girl
>try again, this time thinking that I am some booth babe I saw in a gaming magazine
>cum for the first time
>try to fap later while looking at the pic of a vagina, but with no effect
>start to fap to gender bender hentai and sissy hypnosis
>eventually starts thinking about sucking dick
>be today me, 26
>virgin, never fapped to a vagina, only sissy hypno and gender bender hentai
>when fapping to the picture of a real woman, think about being her instead of fucking her
Am I a faggot? This is not bait, but I'm confused. I still like girls I would like to have a gf, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be like to have sex with her. Did those hypnos messed with my brain?
9 posts and 5 images submitted.
No, you're okay. Just bee yourself.
Dude how come it takes you so long to realise you are just gay and need to have a cock in your mouth

It's OK, live the fantasy and stop sweating
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Maybe I'm not gay? Maybe I need to see the real thing up close, right? Does the boner needs to come naturally after seeing a pussy?

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