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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 516. page

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>Dad is Jehovah's Witness
>He forbids Christmas
>20 years old right now
>Listening to Christmas music RIGHT NOW
>When I have kids, we're going to set-up Christmas lights and drink egg-nog


Fuck you, dad.
10 posts and 2 images submitted.

Favorite xmas song for my xmas friends!
be happy that you never became sick of christmas music. I can only tolerate two christmas songs at the moment. Halloween is a better holiday anyways.
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>Betraying the traditions your parents raised you in

Entitled shitkid. Careful not to cut yourself on your own edge.

helo butiful how r u show bobs and vagana pic pls
12 posts and 4 images submitted.
Bitch lasagna
daily reminder that india will be wiped out with fire and fury once i'll be president
You can always tell the pajeet posts in /gif/ or /hc/

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>Girl finally likes me
>Its a chubby German with a heavy accent.
11 posts and 3 images submitted.
Sounds good to me
If you're not into BBW in 2017 you're either low test or gay
Ich denke dass ist sehr gut weil ich learn Deutsch
You're lucky, anon. I've always wanted a german belly gf
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>chubby German with a heavy accent

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What are some penis deal breakers?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
Couldn't even wait 3 hours to steal this image huh?
Anything under 7 inches and girth under 6.5
>doesn't shave or trim
>uncut but can't into hygiene
>ugly looking head

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My girlfriend of 4 months went to a club and left me for some guy? She went out in Huston for her bday, I stayed home because I'm not 21 yet and she met some guy in one of the clubs and never came back to me.

I tried calling her and she didn't answer and in the morning I got a call from her phone but it wasn't her, it some guy that said something stupid like "ay got your girl makin them cheese eggs up right now you can have her when I go back to my city" then he laughed and hung up.

I tried calling her after that and it kept going to voicemail like her phone was off. I nessaged her mom on Facebook and her mom said she said she's out of town and doesn't want to talk to me. I didn't hear her until 3 days later at like 2am my gf called me from a number I didn't recognize and she was clearly drunk and said "you aren't acting right, I fly with the plane gang. I like to keep them sparklers coming, my baby just blew 59 racks" and then she going on about "plane gang gang and champagne bottles"

I haven't heard from her since then and that was 2 days ago. What is her fucking problem? I don't even drink, seriously is this what alcohol does to women? Give me one reason besides "muh feels" that it shouldn't be outlawed. I don't even know if I'm single or not anymore. She is just gone and I don't know when she is coming back. I'm going back to UNI soon and I can't study because I'm worried
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
>letting your girlfriend go anywhere unattended
She got blacked in the Houston floods.
> I can't study because I'm worried
Dude, fuck her she's a thot. Don't worry about her. Even if she does come back, don't take her

ITT: comfy habits and activities you engage in

>go to movies
>get into theatre 10 mins before the trailers end
>save my spot by leaving my shit there
>go outside and smoke a few bowls out of sight
>go back in right before the movie starts
>get food afterwards
It's great, it's like going on a date but without an annoying roastie to ruin your time
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
>wake up
>morning coffee
>smoke bowl
>read manga or play vidya while sipping on hot coffee

thats my favorite way to start the day, do that for about 2-3 hours before i do anything else
>take hot shower/bath
>completely roll myself up into my blanket straight out of the shower until I'm burrito'd
>free my arms and shitpost/masturbate the night away
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This is comfy: browsing this board on a dark summer night.

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You don't actually believe this "only Chad gets laid" bullshit right?
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
But Slavoj is fluent in like 4 languages, is an acclaimed philosopher, and almost became the first president of Slovenia back in the early 90's.

He's hardly a robot
in Slovenia, Zizek is a 10/10 by only appearing drunk all the time and not actually being drunk.
Ziz transcended chadhood, he's a miracle of the universe.

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>sister just called the police on me
What do I do /r9k/? They'll throw me into the looney bin
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
Post her feet and maybe we can talk.
start by not posting
gg no re ez wp

I wanna do something different from drinking at my apartment and playing games this year during my traditional 5 day weekend I take on labor day weekend. What would you do robots?
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
Play games, watch youtube, masturbate
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That's already what I traditionally do and with specific games (it's always sims, roller coaster tycoon, and Need For Speed Underground
I like learning about theology, philosophy, psychology and the occult. even tho i'm retarded and know nothing about any of it.

The only game i've enjoyed for the last decade was Wow but i cant play it anymore because I have no gaming pc.

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>tfw you would actually prefer a crazy chick
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
At least a crazy chick would be loyal
loyalty is the best trait a woman can have imo
Too bad not many have that

Anyone else constantly feeling tired, constant headache and feeling stressed out for no reason?

Like I shouldn't have a worry in the world world but I feel stressed and pissed for no reason.
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
>Anyone else constantly feeling tired, constant headache and feeling stressed out for no reason?
Sorry anon, I feel tired, sad, and kind of cloudy all the time. Different feels.
> I feel tired, sad, and kind of cloudy all the time.
Do you have any reason? Or just no reason.
I do. I think it's just that stuff that normies don't give a second thought to, I find stressful. Basically its stressful whenever I have any task that needs to be accomplished.

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What surgery does it take to go from left to right?
16 posts and 2 images submitted.
inb4 people falling for the bait and crying "gym"

here is your free (You) >>39411869
He literally just lost weight a got a haircut. He was a chad in hiding.
Weight loss, better angle, different lighting also finishing puberty.

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Hi fellow robot's,

I really like intelligent humour, but my friends don't get it. There wasn't a thread for it, so I thought my fellow robot's would like one. I'll start:

>It's not easy being a self-made man...
>Unless you have an Oedipus Complex and a time machine.
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
I would really only classify it as 'intellectual' if you are a normie

It's just esoteric humor, no intelligence required except being 'in' on the joke

Also the joke you told you'll end up making your DNA identical to your mothers
what a fucking twat
every 15 y/o learned about oedipus and every 4 y/o knows what a time machine is. and i suppose that in this day and age most 10 y/ods know how a man is made.

delete this thread, you will be cringing about this in no time.
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a pig walks into a bar and unzips pic related

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>likes rock music
>hair cut short
>studying engineering
>interested in musical theatre

Is she a lesbian?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
Maybe, but she also sounds like a giant waste of time.
Not lesbian
>>studying engineering
either a lesbian or a robot

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We highlight our flaws and inability to find a significant other here.

I cannot maintain a relationship due to my poor social skills and lack of spontaneity in humor. I am not outgoing. I do not like people or socializing with more than one person at a time.
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
Fear of intimacy, bitterness towards normies, and an unwillingness to buy into the Le Thrill of The Hunt meme.
I'm just really ugly.
sexual deviancy

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