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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5595. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

It's that time again /r9k/!
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36896554
dodgeball?
I was good at that game.
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>tfw good at dodging, catching, but not throwing.
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>>36896554
>was actually brutal at dodgeball and baseball
Grew up in a shit school so dodging shit used to mean not getting shanked or suckered let alone a colorful ball from a long distance off

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>TFW YOUR ONEITIS FLIRTS WITH CHADS

WHY IS THIS WORLD SO CRUEL
33 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>36896458
>tfw your oneitis is in a long term relationship with an absolute beta
>tfw she's got the hots for you but won't act on it because she's not a slut
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>tfw you're oneitis is in a relationship with a florist
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>>36896740
Original

lol what

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Why do robots hate "Chad"? Every popular guy I've met is cool, fun to shoot the shit with, is honest to god, and is always trying to build others up. If this is "Chad", who are the people here ridiculing robots?
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36896456
I don't, I've learned a lot from Chads.

I hate Staceys.
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>>36896456
I envy chad since every thing that's good about them (and I'm talking SLAYER) is that it's all effortless. I lose shit trying to talk to people, I have to workout hard everyday for meager gains, take extra care of my hygeine, and study my ass off. And he gets all of this for free. And he gets all the girls.

I don't hate him. I envy him. And I dislike him for not realizing how easy life is for him.
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>>36896456
You sound like a normie beta orbiter. What should become the default name of a normie beta orbiter? How bout "Charlie".

I'm so fucking mad right now. I'm extremely pissed off. My entire fucking day has been ruined. And guess what fucking ruined my day? Surprise surprise, it was a NIGGER.

I was looking forward to going to the skatepark all day. Looking forward to getting to relax, have fun, and try to improve at skateboarding. I get there and place my FULL BOTTLE OF WATER DOWN. I go off and attempt a few tricks, work on my stalls on a coping-less quarter pipe. Come back to drink some water since I'm a little sweaty, thirsty, and after all it's a really hot day. But lo and behold, my bottle of water is missing. Where did it go you ask? Certainly it wasn't stolen! Oh but it was.

One of the black people I see there all the time, and who I had some respect for because he was a good skater, STOLE MY WATER. I noticed that as soon as I had started skating nearly everyone left. That's when the fucking nigger made off with my water. I quickly put two and two together, and I look over and there's the nigger. He's triumphantly come back and he's holding my water in his hands. He's surrounded by all his other nigger friends as well. So I can't say jack shit to him about stealing my water. If I confront him he'll just laugh and say "wut u gon do bout it wite boi" or just claim it's his. Can't smash his fucking skull in with my skateboard since he's with his friends. They'll just beat me up even worse than what I did to the nigger, and then I'll go to jail for attempted murder. And then in jail the nigger would get his nigger buddies in jail to kill me. Seriously fuck niggers fuck them. Ruined my entire fucking day. Let this be a lesson to all you robots out there. NEVER TRUST A FUCKING NIGGER.

I'm seriously contemplating spiking a decoy water bottle with bleach. That way I can trick the nigger into stealing it again, he'll drink it and die. Then that dumb fucking nigger will have learned a lesson. But I'm pretty sure I'd get caught if I did that.
46 posts and 2 images submitted.
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You idiot, you should've fought him anyway. Even if you get the shit beaten out of you, he'll figure that it' too much of a pain in the ass to mess with you ever again. This goes ESPECIALLY true if you try to fight him a SECOND time even if you've already gotten beaten up. Just make sure you have health insurance

Advice on how to survive in dog eat dog environments from black guy to cumskin, take it or leave it. People only mess with people who they're pretty sure won't resist. If they resist, the attacker will "teach them a lesson". If you don't learn from the lesson, you are no longer a viable target as it's too much trouble
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>>36896432
Maybe ipecac stuff would be better? Yeah know, so he doesn't die?
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>>36896589
Thanks for the advice. I'll try that. But would the smell be noticeable?

>Come home
>Enter bedroom
>See this

What do?
32 posts and 5 images submitted.
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Untie that poor girl. Call the police. Ask her what happened. Find out who did this to her on my bed.
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>>36896322
then accuses you for rape because you didn't rape her
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>>36896289
>She MUST eat this.

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im a jewish dude that sits safeli in israel , i always see jew memes on the internet , and i love them ( not getting triggered at all ). but still when i see all this things about antisemitism and the dangers of being a jew outside of israel i get really confused .
so ive desided to ask you , how do you really feel about jews , do you even give a shit , and if U a jew do you really struggle?
IM NOT talking about the political problems of israel and the midlle east , i really dont give a shit .
im talking about pure human interactions .
only from personal pov and situation .
36 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>36896261
Personally i dont give a shit, heck one of my mates is jewis (altough hes the one always to argue with and witty like a fox so others outside of our group can easily hate on him) BUT I hate jews controlling our media and financial status
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>>36896261
I'm a Jew from the southern US. I have never struggled with anything. I was the butt of a couple jokes while I was in high school (e.g. Someone threw a nickel down in front of me and asked if I felt compelled to pick it up), but they were really insignificant events. I didn't cry or tell anyone. I'm not oppressed at all. I come from a pretty wealthy background, and there IS a bit of stealthy pseudo-discrimination at the upper-end of WASPy society-- for example we knew better than to try and join the oldest country club in town, that's not a place for us, but I've never had any real negative impacts on my life because I was Jewish.

There's a night and day difference between a place like this and what you'd encounter IRL in the US. A lot of the shit on 4chan is just jokes. Some of it might be serious, or things people genuinely think are true, but you've just got to let that roll off your back. Can't fight every battle. There's some legitimate criticisms to be made too, of course. Both of Israel and Jews in general. And we are nothing if not prickly, insular and smug as a people, which makes us a great target for shitslinging.
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expected stupid shits , got legit answers , thanks guys love this site

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(Pic is a close approximation of what she looks like, but a bit taller and with darker hair.)

A few days ago I posted this thread: https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/36850353/

Here's what's happened since then:

>I decided to call her
>She asked if I wanted a "date", I said no that I wanted to talk to her
>She gave me her address and told me to come over
>I took a taxi there
>She has a pretty large, well-furnished apartment
>No sign of a boyfriend and / or pimp
>She says that I'm the first guy she's brought there since she trusts me
>I really didn't know what to say, she'd made some coffee and offered me some, I took it
>I was really nervous but finally managed to spit out that I wanted her to be my girlfriend, for real
>"Are you serious?" she said
>"I don't know, I thought at first it was to keep the story going with my parents but I really want you" I said
>It all just came out at once and I didn't stammer or anything
"Look, I like you too but this is really kind of weird, maybe you should go"
>I was ready to leave but I turned around, went up to her and kissed her
>She kissed back
>Before I knew it we were on her bed taking each other's clothes off
>I was looking for a condom but she said she's on the implant, so I grinned and continued
>I had the best sex I've ever had with her or anyone and we took a shower together afterwards
>After we were dried and dressed I asked her if she was my gf now
>"If you don't mind me having "dates" with other guys, then yeah"
>She said she'd been doing it for the past three years and she was stopping at the end of this year
>She wants to save up enough money to open a bakery
>Not the most ideal situation but I accepted it, we spent several more hours together just getting to know each other and then I left
>In time I'm going to move in with her, hopefully help her with her business in the future and then who knows what might happen
>Parents might still get grandkids yet
98 posts and 11 images submitted.
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>>36896243
OP is a cuck
>Parents might still get grandkids yet
Make sure they're your kids OP
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Hey man you should buy a purple felt hat and a zoot suit to celebrate.
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This is bait but nice job OP

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Why is this board so shit? All these stupid ass generals, belly threads, trap threads, like 8 different "wagecuck" threads. Seriously, what the fuck happened here?
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Wagecuck threads are cool
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>>36896260
Not when they're half the fucking catalogue.
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>>36896218
YAWN! what's the matter wagie? ragie after waging all day? what a shame!

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Why am I always tired and shitty feeling? No matter my diet or attitude or how much I sleep or anything.
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36896210

you have clinical depression
>>
you're out of shape. go for a mile run every day. you won't be able to do it in one go at first, but keep at it. you'll get better and better every day and by the time you can do it without stopping you'll feel infinitely better. more energy, more motivation... one negative thing though is that your sex drive will sky rocket. I used to fap only once a day. one and done. but since I started running every day I have to fap like 3-5 times a day to keep my shit under control. but oh well.
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>>36896259
Not op, but I tried that and it just made me more miserable

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I hate going to work.
How do I become a neet?
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Stop going to work.
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>>36896193
YEEZYY
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>>36896226
Thanks Varg
I can always count on you

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What makes them kill?

Did he hate women?

How did it feel to take someone's life away from them?

Are they simply acting out on basic human nature?
20 posts and 8 images submitted.
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He browsed robot boards and became angry over non existent issues. The constant shit posting, race baiting, and woman hate threads finally pushed him over the edge.
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You can have a bump for being a good friend.
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>>36896155

This is a good thread OP.

My personal favourite is Harold Shipman, but John Christie is the new man I'm researching atm

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9mm is a meme
56 posts and 11 images submitted.
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shotguns are not a meme
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.45 and slower heavier bullets are good nigger blasters but 9mm is more practical overall.
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>>36896106

Would a .45 ACP hollow point to the head get the job done, no questions asked?

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Watching people from school doing great at life really sucks.

>upcoming stand up comedy star it the country
>national bike racing champion or something
>traveling the world on a motorbike with his gf
>playing in the national under-21 soccer team
>photographer for a famous magazine

And here I am in my wagecuck job. Without any goals or dreams
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36896091
Same
The lead singer from my a band in my hs class released a solo indie album during his time at college. I taught myself music and am working o my own album but at 25 literally nobody cares anymore. It' not "doing something great" it's just a little hobby you do at the side of your 9-5
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>>36896091
Well, it's not all bad. If when we die consciousness really does cease, we'll all be dead
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>>36896091

are you american or mexican?

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ITT: we remember escortbro, the greatest writer in the history of /r9k/.

He posted his first thread on this day one year ago.

Here are the backups of all the threads:

Thread 01: https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/28427858/
Thread 02: https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/28473632/
Thread 03: https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/28563840/
Thread 04: https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/28588279/
Thread 05: https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/28634920/
Thread 06: https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/28681400/
Thread 07: https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/28745482/
Thread 08: https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/28798775/
Thread 09: https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/28821140/
Thread 10: https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/28912265/
Thread 11: https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/29032733/
Thread 12: https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/29055020/

>tfw no qt ex-escort gf to save
10 posts and 4 images submitted.
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this sounds like a fantasy. how would he remember every detail ?
>first we lied in this position and kissed each other here
>then we went into this position, talked about this thing, and started kissing eachother there
>repeat repeat
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>>36896438
Because he's autistic, duh.
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>it's been a year already

>humans beat the shit out of these with clubs for fun
>older male seals kill and eat them

oh....
16 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36895901
What older male SEALS are doing to seal cubs, does not justify HUMAN filth doing the same. All human filth clubbing anything, to death, for fun or something else, needs to be done the same. And it will be done the same, one day. There's no other way to gain justice.
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>>36896129
i guess the people that club them supposedly eat them, but it's still pretty sad these things will actually waddle up to a human out of curiosity only to get their brains smashed in by ice gooks
>>
I agree. Day of the rake when? We have tolerated those dogfuckers for too long


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