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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5169. page

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Accepting GF applications.
>Qualifications
Size A tits or smaller

Fat cunts need not apply.
37 posts and 3 images submitted.
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You clearly don't know how bra sizes work. You can be fat and still have an a cup, its the band size you need to watch out for: 30c will skinnier than 36a. He cup letter is just the difference between the band and the bust.
>>
>>37381339
Okay here
>Qualifications
32A or smaller

Fat cunts need not apply.
>>
>>>/soc/25279371
This is a girl-friend application post. Most of them are probably LARPing though.

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Wendy's tendies are the best tendies. I was literally wanting to die but after eating a combo tendies and frosty meal I feel so much better ^.^

I want Wendy to be my mommy. I want her to tie me down and rub barbecue sauce on my nuggets and piggy in a blanket :3

I want her to massage frosty all over my body and top it off with my whipped cream when I've been a good boy /.\

I love Wendy so much she's the perfect waifu <3
33 posts and 7 images submitted.
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every post made in this thread MUST have a Wendy's image attached
>>
>>37380963
>>37380991
you 2 are taking part in a corporate pr marketing scheme


businesses are infiltrating even niche subcultures like this, it's almost orwellian.
>>
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>>37381023
>he doesn't want a bantz queen gf who makes tendies

You're too pathetic even for this board

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CYOA/choice/escapism whatever the fuck you want to call it thread, today is depressing for some reason.
43 posts and 31 images submitted.
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money drug and wish obv
>>
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I've got a bit to dump uh let's see 3/25
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4/25? oregano stop making me select fucking storefronts.

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>elementary school, always the shortest/skinniest kid in class and picked last for every sport, have a few friends who I can bond with over vidya
>middle school, lose what few friends I had because associating with me hurts their chances with the girls who shun me, consider suicide frequently
>high school, escape into virtual world of Everquest to ignore the failure that is my real life, consider suicide frequently
>college, EQ addiction turns to WoW addiction, nothing else changes, still a social outcast with no hope, consider suicide frequently
>my 20s - sit in front of computer in cubicle by day, sit in front of computer in apartment by night, still no social life to speak of, consider suicide frequently
>turn 30, still haven't killed myself
>meet qt3.14, ask her out because I have nothing to lose
>holy shit she said yes
>date is super awkward because I'm aspie and can't hold conversation worth shit
>she agrees to go out with me again anyway
>we've been dating for 2 months now
>I haven't been this happy since before I started puberty

I...I'm actually glad I didn't kill myself lads. I never thought I would make it, but maybe I did. Thanks for always being there for me to complain about society rejecting us together, I love you guys and hope you make it too.
23 posts and 5 images submitted.
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Hopes thing works out for you because you're gonna feel shit if it doesn't
>>
>>37380515
look I'm glad for you, but waiting 20+ years for brief moments of happiness seems absurd to me
>>
>>37380515
i'm you except i'm a girl
>no friends in high school
>no friends in college
>spend all day every day in front of my computer in dim light
>work as much as possible to stifle the unbearable loneliness
>turn 30
>consider wearing a wedding ring and pretending i have a husband and kids so people at work don't make fun of me behind my back
>men only look at me with sheer revulsion
>if i asked someone out they'd fuck me then lose my number

knowing if i was a guy, and girls would be lining up just because i have a job and a car, makes it hurt so much

i'm not miserable thogh, some games make me happy and small things like that. i cant imagine what i'd do if nothing helped take this pain away

IF A GIRL SAID SHE COULD ONLY HAVE ORAL SEX AND NOT VAGINAL SEX WITH YOU, WOULD YOU STILL WANT TO DATE HER?
29 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>37380488
yes but she better suck it good and frequently I'm a fucking man with needs and I will get them elsewhere if she doesn't hold me down
>>
>>37380488
That sounds great. In fact if I were to ever find a potential girlfriend, I might propose the same thing myself, because I'm extremely afraid of risking procreation.
>>
>>37380488
I used to know a girl that would only ever suck my dick and wouldn't let me touch her otherwise. It was pretty good.

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When did you realize you're a lolicon?
149 posts and 61 images submitted.
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You guys made me this way!
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>>37380590
I've never been a lolicon and I've been browsing 4chan since 2006.
>>
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My niece was staying over at my house one weekend and she was sleeping in my room. She would get changed right in front of me and I couldn't help but check her out, she had a very curvy figure for her age and a fat ass. Like she was packing ass and she was a skinny 9 year old. Goddamn it was so fucking sexy watching her put on her cute little panties around that fat ass. I fapped to that shit like 50 times at least.

But yeah that's when I knew I might be into little girls. My niece is the only real little girl I've ever seen in that light though, her naked petite body was so fucking hot to me. I would get off so hard when she'd wrestle with me or sat on my lap and I had contact with dat ass. Man, she is perfection.

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I'm going to die this week because I can't afford my prescription.

It was nice knowing you /r9k/.
21 posts and 7 images submitted.
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Take care. I hope you roll better stats next time around.
>>
>>37380263
Give us a quick rundown on your situation?
>>
>>37380372
I need t buy meatal dilators or my dick will close up and my urethra will burst.

I can't afford said dilators because I already forked out a fuck tonne of money for pain killers and shit and so now the pharmicist is effectively ransoming my dilators. Tomorrow when I wake up I will piss and my penis will be ruptured and I will have to be rushed to the emergency room. I say tomorrow because they will not come out and see me unless I am dying, not destined to die.

The rest is fairly self explanatory.

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General chatting thread, P=NP edition.

Hey /r9k/, resident normie here. If you'd like some advice, have any question you want to ask or just need to vent for a bit and get stuff off your chest, feel free to post here. No such thing as stupid questions here, I'll attempt to answer each and every post wholeheartedly(:

>inb4 OP off my board reeeeeeeee
>inb4 OP can't inb4
>inb4 what are your qualifications for being a normie
34 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>37380245
Why did you pick now to make a thread like this? Why during the summer? Why when we are already getting bombarded with stuff like this?
>>
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>>37380245
Kill yourself

Originally 1243434398
>>
How do I find beta introvert women? Normalfag girls are so fucking boring and have no hobbies or interests. I don't fucking care about what some celebrity retard wore last Thursday.

>tfw tongue too big for mouth so i slur and have to repeat myself a lot
22 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>37380185
Suck a dick I'd say.
>>
>>37380206
i actually think thats really good advice you can please lots of people with a big tongue
>>
>>37380234
yeah and it is a nice platter to catch semen on.

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>a) 10/10 face, full thick hair, huge dick, but 4'11""
>b) Full thick hair, huge dick, 6'3", but 2/10 face
>c) 10/10 face, full thick hair, 6'3", but 1 inch micropenis
>d) 10/10 face, 6'3", huge dick, but weird balding JUST hair (and you're not allowed to shave it)

Choose one.
25 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>37380167
a) so I can become a hung tiny femboi
>>
>>37380167

so it's either:

>Become trap/femboy with big dick
>Be omega leftover
>Kill yourself or be awkwardly gay
>Also be omega leftover
>>
>>37380167
A. Get limb lengthening surgery and shoe lifts, then move to Asia.

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>fell for the trap meme
>eventually wanted to be the trap
>crossdress and post pics online
>get attention from guys
>like said attention
>order some dildos
>like sucking on them and putting them in my ass
>eventually decide to hook up with a dude
>find a guy nearby
>dress up and go to his place
>bit nervous
>he takes off my skirt and pushes me down onto my knees
>welp, time to get to work
>sucking a real dick was no where near as fun as I thought it would be
>and it smelled and I got hair stuck in my teeth
>he picks me up and starts playing with my ass
>tell him i'm not so sure I want to do this anymore
>he tells me to relax, it will feel good
>sticks it in
>I liked how warm it felt
>then he starts pounding
>wow, this is kindof fun
>then I look around and catch a glimpse of us in the mirror
>see me dressed as a girl, bent over a dresser, getting dicked
>oh god what have I done
>close eyes and just wait for him to finish
>he pulls out and puts me on my knees
>cums on my face
>I go to the bathroom to clean up
>look myself in the mirror
>I'm bottomless, my ass hurts, and I have cum on my face
>start to cry
>clean up and go home
>feel digusted with myself

I fucking hate how hard trap shit is pushed on 4chan. You faggots are poisoning the minds of countless young men. You faggots twisted me into having gay sex. Thankfully I broke free but I'll forever have to deal with memory of me getting dicked.
39 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>37380040
>You faggots
The faggot here is you
>>
Where is that sensible chuckle gif when you need it?
>>
>>37380040
this thread is ebin i laughed so fucking hard

i'm bump

hi, i really want to make a cool internet friend who i can just talk to about random shit and vent too and all that, if you fit in that criteria add me up loser(s)

DD#9322

qt femanons preferred
31 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>37379950
>qt femanons preferred
i'll pass
>>
>>37379990
i bet you're a fucking fat butt ugly stuck up delusional whore anyway :)
>>
bump ;-;

i just want friends god damn it, even if it's on the internet

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Being a gay bottom is the ultimate red pill
43 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>37379788
Indeed but it's hard if you're not short. It's like a reverse straight heightism where if you're not short you might as well go top
I'm 5'5" and skinny and I'm overly conscious of my size
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>>37379788
The summer never stops does it?
>>
>>37379788
>sticking dicks in your ass is the path to enlightenment
k, buddy

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why do music taste related discussions bring the worst out of people?
29 posts and 5 images submitted.
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Everyone thinks they're an expert because they have ears and an opinion
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they really are annoying, i don't even bother talking about music anymore.
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You expect me to be nice to people who are objectively wrong and somehow try to justify it? Or worse, just say that it's like their opinion and that they just feel like it. Fuck no

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When people lick their fingers when turning pages

WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE DO THIS!? IT'S DISGUSTING
64 posts and 20 images submitted.
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>>37379707
Gross, you'd prefer they lick your fingers? Weirdo.
>>
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>>37379707
>table etiquette and chivalry
used to get into nasty fights with my conservative mother over this growing up because she was obsessed with them and I always thought they were fucking stupid and make no sense
>mongooses
watched rikki-tikki-tavi when I was nine and cried because I love snakes
>sniffling
pic related
>>
>>37379707
> When people lick their fingers if some food is on them.


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