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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4795. page

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I got fired from my dream job for making an inappropriate joke.

who here did it worse?
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
>>
I drove her away. Now she's staying at home for awhile to "think."

I fucked up
>>
>>37589845
tell us the joke!
Come on, robot, let me post.
>>
>>37589860
Yeah, I bet Chad came over to really help her probe her noggin.

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Would you have sex with her? Date her?
19 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>37589735
yeah

nah

original
>>
>>37589756
>nah
Why?

origggg
>>
>>37589842
I'm not familiar with sheboons. I wouldn't know what she would be looking for. She also seems very high maintenance.

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It's week 4 of me working a construction job pretending to be a chad.

The chads are beginning to suspect that i am not one of them. Not sure how much longer i can work there and pretend to be a chad.

What do?
41 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>37589723
Get wasted with them after the job and beat your wife.
>>
Just mention lacrosse or college football to get them off your back. Remember to call them bro and you should be good.
>>
>>37589771
Dont have a wife. Don't drink. They are begining to wonder what exactly it is that i do when im not working. I just play my vidya and post on 4chan...

I gotta survive this job until i can find a nice comfy retail job again that's more sutiable for a robot.

I have countless fetishes. Everything humiliating or femdom-related works.
Normie ones like feet, facesitting and bondage. Everything latex (vacuum beds make diamonds). Pegging, feminiziation, crossdressing. Incest, small penis humiliation, cock and balls torture, trampling.
Orgasm denial, urethra insertion (especially stiletto heels). One of my favorite although rather normie tier is shoe fetish. Like just the shoe. Well designed shoes or shoes i associate with something arousing.
For example converse/vans/uggs cause i associate them to the high school girls that used to bully me.
Sometimes I just take my stepmother's shoes (she's in her mid 40s with really cute and petite feet) and hold them in my hands, maybe kiss them and smell them, I rarely lick them because i'm afraid she might notice if her shoes suddenly look cleaner, so i try to be sneaky. Another thing i love is chastity. I try to stay caged as long as i can but the cage i got gets uncomfortable after a while. These are the ones i act on (or want to) irl. Then i jerk it to everything, furry, futa, loli, vore, pretty much anything /d/.
Saddest thing is i can't pinpoint a moment when i started getting more and more fucked up, I clearly remember i was heavily attracted by shoes even when i was like 10 years old and i'd swap shoes with my cousin and i loved how her gold nikes felt so tightened up to my feet, or the thrill of touching them and smelling them when she went out of the room, i knew it was wrong and shameful.
29 posts and 23 images submitted.
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>>37589589
I also have a huge shoe fetish. I primarily have a foot fetish, but shoes can get me really going. I know that there are a lot of people really into heels, and while I'll like them, stuff like converse, vans and running shoes are much better. Pic related, superstars make me hard as diamonds.
>>
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>>37589919
This is gonna sound silly but i thought i was replying to a thread. I got confused with this mobile app
>superstars
My nigga, my sister bought a pair of those and i adore them. When she came home and showed them to me my reactions was so exagerated i think she might be onto me.
Do you have preferences in size?
>>
>>37590081
The smaller the better. I almost forgot that I also had a younger kind-of cousin (we weren't actually related) who shoes were the center of my fascination growing up ( I don't have a sister unfortunately). Eventually convinced her to give me a pair of shoes, she gave a pair of ed hardy converse that she out grew. Pic related were the style, but with a different, mostly gold, design. I used those to masturbate to a million times over. You ever go after your sister's shoes?

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>fall asleep with this
>wake up with.....
13 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>THIS ORC!!
WHAT DO?!?!
>>
nothing, since i'd never be able to fall asleep with anything that has 2 X-chromosomes.
>>
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>>37589520
>a 500 foot tall crustacean from the paleolithic era asking for tree fiddy
That goddamn Loch Ness monster tricked me again.

I know it's over - still I cling
I don't know where else I can go
17 posts and 1 images submitted.
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God bless u Morrissey poster
>>
>>37589508
over oover over up and over
>>
Favourite Smiths song? Right now it's Still Ill for me.

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>tfw got my gf pregnant
15 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>tfw got my practice gf pregnant
>>
push her down the stairs m8
>>
>>37589472
At least you have a fucking gf you fucking bastard check your privilege

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>tfw the janitor hates negresses
What happened?
35 posts and 9 images submitted.
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who is that girl and does she do porn?
>>
>>37589433
aj love. some hot instagram whore
>>
>>37589412
Nobody likes niggers.

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You live in the best time to be a nerd/geek/weeb and still can't get a girlfriend. What's wrong with you all?
22 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>37589340
I'm a Brown Nerd.
>>
im 5"3 and 170 pounds
>>
>>37589340
I'm a nerd but not a attention whore. I actually play games and youre not going to find a relationship while playing games.

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Ok usually robots are the type of people who can't be choosers. At least that's what normies say. But even fucking normies will have to admit, you have to keep some of your standards and at least some modicum of self respect, I mean just because we shouldn't be so choosy, does not mean we have to date unhygienic std ridden 200lb landwhales, I mean shit at least most robots (I assume) take showers and are trying to be fit. I actually exercise everyday, mind you not lifting, but calisthenics and cardio. If we can't expect our future significant others to be atleast slightly healthy(bmi:5'4ft 165lbs, addendum:height 5'4 was chosen because that's average female height in the U.S., 160lbs is considered overweight by 21lbs), and hygienic, why even try at all, especially if we have to degrade ourselves that much.
46 posts and 7 images submitted.
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Good taste in Lovecraftian gods,my nigga.
>>
the ratio is for every year of virginity after 18 that you go, you cannot turn your nose at another 5 pounds of extra weight in your mate 'of choice'
thus, a 40 year old virgin will have to accept 110

as an aside, i saw a landscaping truck on the road the other day that listed "shub trimming" among their capabilities
>>
>>37589372
>110
*extra lbs

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I have a gf but it's nothing like you would think.

She says I'm good looking but she gets the hots for some actors and even people passing by in front of me when we go for a walk.
She barely gives me blowjobs, and they're all half-assed with more obligation than passion and when I don't cum or don't like it for 10 mins she just sighs and blames me.
She doesn't like having sex and never moves an inch during sex, never came without going down on her and once told me she wished my cock was bigger (adding jk right after).
She never hugs me or take care of me, she just kinda let herself fall against me and I'm the one who has to cuddle, caress her hair and take care of her.
She doesn't know how to cook and don't wanna learn.
Lately I got her into the fit meme since I was going to the gym, told everything she needs to know to get the big ass and thin waist she wanted, but she was too lazy to even try doing a few squats with no weight at home so she just went on a diet and her ass is now flat and saggy.
She used to take care of herself but now her unibrow is showing and when I told her she just didn't care.

I could go on for a while but I'm just sick of her, but on the other hand I know I would never get another chance in my life, gfs are just so fucking rare.
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>She finds people other than me attractive!
>She never hugs me or takes care of me!

Wow dude you sound insecure and needy as shit. If you're not happy and she's clearly not happy dump her ass. Otherwise one of you is going to cheat out of resentment toward the other.
>>
>>37589336
sounds like she doesn't even fucking like him

I guess wanting a partner who likes you is considered "needy" these days
>>
>>37589201
leave you fucking idiot
you will regret it if you don't\
fix your life, don't keep each other down

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What was the best decision in your life that didn't turn out to shit?
>travel abroad for a year

Literally the best thing ever

>Having a goal in life now
>Found a new hobby
>Met interesting people
>Awesome experiences
>Had sex with a horny chubby
>Had sex with a slim Spanish teacher
>Made out with a cute jap girl
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37589165
Yeah, my year abroad was the best time of my life too.
>>
if you return from traveling abroad what you must do is enhance your hometown with the best of your travels
turns out cultural appropriation is a good thing
>>
where do you get like 10k to travel? it would take me a decade to save that much

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How do i stop having BPD? This shit is literally ruining my life. I'm a guy btw
36 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Please reply to my thread. ANy other robots with BPD out there? Have you recovered or gone to therapy? What was it like

I need your input brobots
>>
>>37589297
I have bpd too but I can't see a therapist. I have no clue what to fucking do anon, I've ruined so many friendships and I have constant mental breakdowns because of the isolation I've forced myself into.
>>
>>37589157
i think this means were supposed to just kill ourselves anon

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My mom killed herself about a week ago and it's finally starting to hit me. I had already interviewed for a job before it happened and I ended up getting it but now I'm starting to find it a struggle to get out of bed and go to work every single day. Any advice? I guess I just wanted to be able to tell somebody
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>37589149
I wanted to say "I love you anon stay strong" but this is a huge lie
>>
>>37589149
I'd be pretty happy if my mom died desu. I'd get a nice inheritance and a little more freedom. I'd probably use it to buy a nice gun and kill myself with it.

That's probably not what you wanted to hear. But, hey, if you kill yourself you supposedly get to be with the other dead people, right?

I guess basically I'm telling you to kill yourself in the nicest way possible.
>>
>>37589663
I've seriously wanted to kill myself for years but I just don't have the balls, if I could find someone to pull the trigger for me I would do it in a heartbeat

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>no
>I don't know
>I can't recall
>not to my knowledge
>I don't think so
>maybe
>I can't answer that
HOLY SHIT DRUMPF IS FINISHED AND BANKRUPT

(((RUSSIAN HAXXORS))) INTERFERED IN US ELECTIONS CONFIRMED
17 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Fuck Drumpf and his supporters.

mootblox because apparently not original.
>>
OP, what would believe you to believe that?
>>
>>37589049
did he confirm the amount of scoops


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