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>be14
>sleeping
>wake up
>remember weird ass dream
>had sexual relationship with Dick Cheney, but oh my god it felt so good
>He impregnated me
>o shit.jpeg
>wouldn't let me abort
>last thing I remember is being pretty far along
>getting an ultrasound done, but a transvaginal one, idk why it was weird
>especially at that far along
>guess the baby was unhealthy?
>it was a boy
>remember Cheney standing near me in the room... expresionless
>don't know how this story would end
>oh well
>dream turned into some weird ass fanfiction shit
>continue the greentext story with what you think would/want to happen
>obviously greentext it
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>>37613323
>it's a boy
>what?
>you. You are a boy. You can't have kids
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>tfw getting paid 70k to scan ports and update systems
I won at life
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>>37613294
>before tax
do you know how long you'll have to be working? I'd rather have a million dollars right now and not have to worry about retirement
>>
Congratulations. You figured out the half of what makes you valuable at work isn't the retarded job you do, it's showing up to work ready to work on time every day. Those who can't, go work at McDonald's.
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>>37613294
60k to tutor freshman stacies English
Anonymous
Why aren't you dating, anon? 2017-06-10 02:30:50 Post No.37613277
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Why aren't you dating, anon? 2017-06-10 02:30:50 Post No.37613277
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Why aren't you dating, anon?
Anonymous
2017-06-10 02:30:50
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>31 year old wizard
>fly out to visit my mum
>catches me looking at a qt
>"Why aren't you dating, anon? You have to get out there."
How can I explain to my mum why I'm such a failure?
I wish she could help me get a gf, but I'm so helpless.
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>>37613277
>it's a "female middle aged relative/family friend calls you handsome" episode
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>>37613332
I think my family oscillates between thinking I'm gay and thinking I'm just a failure. Not sure what is worse.
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I want to hire a cute maid, how would I go about this?
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>>37613260
>ywn be a cute maid
>>
When my dad hired his maid, he put up ads at the closest college campus. He had a lot of pretty girls apply.
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nervous for wedding next week -- any advice /b/rothers?
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Bravo
Slphzzssh
Djsnsvcccfshhhhheeett
Fucking mods diediedie
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>Feeling like shit right before bed
Why do I keep doing this? It is literally this one moment everyday where I feel like shit for doing nothing productive, and I keep doing it.
How do I stop this?
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Go to sleep drunk.
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her eyes are made of stars
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theyre made of eye goo and blood faggot
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Life is an unending nightmare. People don't see how bad it is because they've lived in it their whole lives, but it's bad. Here is an analogy: Raise a human from birth in a pitch-black cube too small to stand up in and feed them only shit, and they'll still be happy on the days when it has corn in it. That's the definition of a "normie": someone without an immortal soul attached to their body, somebody that can think fucking anything is good and acceptable if they've dealt with it long enough.
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what's good holmes? oh yeah nothing
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>>37613125
whats this guy livin in
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>gf forcing me to play willywars again
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CHAD IS THE ONLY ROBOT(his name is chad but he's a sperg)
DONT LET THE NORMIES TAKE POWER
http://www.strawpoll.me/13126942
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Bumping to take power from normies
Anonymous
Croissants are some of my favorite foods. 2017-06-10 02:13:26 Post No.37613008
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Croissants are some of my favorite foods. 2017-06-10 02:13:26 Post No.37613008
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Croissants are some of my favorite foods.
Anonymous
2017-06-10 02:13:26
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An apple is s food. Do you like apples anon?
Green ones are sour, I'm mainly impartial on the subject.
I like pizza, that is another one of my all time favs.
What does anon like?
Do you want to eat it now?
Would you want a gf who could cook you this food every week? ...
I like wet cereal.
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I am autistic. How do I stop telling the truth automatically?
Often I say unflattering things about myself, not in any self-deprecating or humble way, but just because honesty is default for me.
The result is that I look worse than people who do not mention the ordinary faults they and I both share.
It's as if I'm being punished for talking - as if talking was not a big effort that I make out of a desire to please others. So in sum, my kindness is punished due to my honesty.
I'm using terms like punishment and kindness, which have moral implications, but I don't see the situation morally. I am like a rat in a cage who is electrocuted for walking on all fours, and other times electrocuted for walking on its hind legs, with no indication of why or ability to learn how to avoid being electrocuted. I just want to get through the damn maze and eat at the dispenser, but deceit does not come naturally to me.
How do I navigate this maze?
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>>37612987
Similar feel to yours mate. You ever watch two cats or another pair of animals fighting? Know how they stare each other down for a while, then they sort of look off into space randomly like their operating system doesn't know what to do? That's how I feel in any social situation.
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POST YOUR COMFY SETUP
>2 PC FOR FRIEND GAMING
>1 LAPTOP CONNECTED TO BIG SCREEN TV FOR MOVIES
>RECLINERS TO RECLINE WHILE GAMING AND MOVIE WATCHING
COMFY SET UP THREAD
POST EM
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How come the Soviets were able to take a man into space for the first time, but later have him dead in a test flight failure? I thought they were advanced!
How come Soviets were unable to send a test rocket into orbit that would be used to land on the moon? I thought the Soviets had more scientists!
How come the Buran, the so-called Soviet space shuttle, was able to orbit the Earth two times and land, then be abandoned, and have the original orbiter be crushed when the hangar it was in collapsed in 2001? Weren't the Soviets best at space travel?
How come the Soviets were able to send a dog into space, but end up having it dead while a Chimpanzee was able to go up and back safe and sound? I thought the Soviets were more advanced?
How come Joseph Stalin died from a seizure/hemorrhage in his bed uttering his last words : "dsszzzt" whilst pissing his pants? I thought the Soviets were medically advanced?
How come the Soviets took 1mil lives to regain Stalingrad and to defeat the Nazi's in WWII? I thought they had good guns!
How come the Soviets had famines when they seized all the means of production and were able to feed these people? I thought they were conservative of their food system?
How come Mikhail Gorbachev ordered a plan called Glastnost and wanted to make the USSR a true democracy, only to have the people attempt a coup d'etat, have a drunkard in power, and have the USSR collapse whilst Boris Yeltsin, banished his own party and created a flawed democracy and made Russia lose it's Superpower status? I thought the people were happy and patriotic?
Tell me communists, how come the 'greatest superpower on Earth' only lasted for 69 years while the USA was able to thrive for more than 250 years and make it to the moon, and was able to make atomic bombs faster than you, and were able to detonate them to destroy an imperialist country and bring peace to the world in 1945? I thought communists were powerful! Oh wait, I can still see your Cold War weapons!
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