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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4146. page

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>stand on top of cardboard box to see what it feels like to be over 6 feet
>life finally feels worth living
>everything just feels right

Why did we have to be born Manlets guys?
Why do we have to be the unlucky ones while some people just get it all?
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37613394
HEIGHT IS A FUCKING MEME, you dumb normie.
Non chad short guys are called manlets, non chad tall guys are called lanklets.

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FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STOP BICKERING AND GET OFF THIS BOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>37613328
stfu senpai lol
>>
lol wtf i hate this board now
>>
>>37613328
When I was doing homework, I would periodically check anti-Trump subreddits to get a poor man's Two Minutes Hate. I honestly think /r9k/ is better for me than that shit.

>be14
>sleeping
>wake up
>remember weird ass dream
>had sexual relationship with Dick Cheney, but oh my god it felt so good
>He impregnated me
>o shit.jpeg
>wouldn't let me abort
>last thing I remember is being pretty far along
>getting an ultrasound done, but a transvaginal one, idk why it was weird
>especially at that far along
>guess the baby was unhealthy?
>it was a boy
>remember Cheney standing near me in the room... expresionless
>don't know how this story would end
>oh well
>dream turned into some weird ass fanfiction shit
>continue the greentext story with what you think would/want to happen
>obviously greentext it
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37613323
>it's a boy
>what?
>you. You are a boy. You can't have kids

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>tfw getting paid 70k to scan ports and update systems

I won at life
4 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37613294
>before tax
do you know how long you'll have to be working? I'd rather have a million dollars right now and not have to worry about retirement
>>
Congratulations. You figured out the half of what makes you valuable at work isn't the retarded job you do, it's showing up to work ready to work on time every day. Those who can't, go work at McDonald's.
>>
>>37613294
60k to tutor freshman stacies English

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>31 year old wizard
>fly out to visit my mum
>catches me looking at a qt
>"Why aren't you dating, anon? You have to get out there."
How can I explain to my mum why I'm such a failure?

I wish she could help me get a gf, but I'm so helpless.
3 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>37613277
>it's a "female middle aged relative/family friend calls you handsome" episode
>>
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>>37613332
I think my family oscillates between thinking I'm gay and thinking I'm just a failure. Not sure what is worse.

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I want to hire a cute maid, how would I go about this?
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>>37613260
>ywn be a cute maid
>>
When my dad hired his maid, he put up ads at the closest college campus. He had a lot of pretty girls apply.

nervous for wedding next week -- any advice /b/rothers?
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Bravo
Slphzzssh
Djsnsvcccfshhhhheeett
Fucking mods diediedie
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>Feeling like shit right before bed
Why do I keep doing this? It is literally this one moment everyday where I feel like shit for doing nothing productive, and I keep doing it.
How do I stop this?
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Go to sleep drunk.

her eyes are made of stars
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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theyre made of eye goo and blood faggot

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Life is an unending nightmare. People don't see how bad it is because they've lived in it their whole lives, but it's bad. Here is an analogy: Raise a human from birth in a pitch-black cube too small to stand up in and feed them only shit, and they'll still be happy on the days when it has corn in it. That's the definition of a "normie": someone without an immortal soul attached to their body, somebody that can think fucking anything is good and acceptable if they've dealt with it long enough.
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what's good holmes? oh yeah nothing
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>>37613125
whats this guy livin in

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>gf forcing me to play willywars again
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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CHAD IS THE ONLY ROBOT(his name is chad but he's a sperg)

DONT LET THE NORMIES TAKE POWER

http://www.strawpoll.me/13126942
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Bumping to take power from normies

An apple is s food. Do you like apples anon?
Green ones are sour, I'm mainly impartial on the subject.
I like pizza, that is another one of my all time favs.
What does anon like?
Do you want to eat it now?
Would you want a gf who could cook you this food every week? ...

I like wet cereal.
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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I am autistic. How do I stop telling the truth automatically?

Often I say unflattering things about myself, not in any self-deprecating or humble way, but just because honesty is default for me.

The result is that I look worse than people who do not mention the ordinary faults they and I both share.

It's as if I'm being punished for talking - as if talking was not a big effort that I make out of a desire to please others. So in sum, my kindness is punished due to my honesty.

I'm using terms like punishment and kindness, which have moral implications, but I don't see the situation morally. I am like a rat in a cage who is electrocuted for walking on all fours, and other times electrocuted for walking on its hind legs, with no indication of why or ability to learn how to avoid being electrocuted. I just want to get through the damn maze and eat at the dispenser, but deceit does not come naturally to me.

How do I navigate this maze?
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37612987
Similar feel to yours mate. You ever watch two cats or another pair of animals fighting? Know how they stare each other down for a while, then they sort of look off into space randomly like their operating system doesn't know what to do? That's how I feel in any social situation.


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