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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 614. page

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>arrested for nightwalking in a railway

6 posts and 1 images submitted.
Wait... is it illegal?!
Greentext? Tell us about your arrest, Anon
>2 summers ago
>cop is approaching me
>when he's ~50 meters away I just run into the woods
>probably could have gotten in trouble for evading the police at night even though I wasn't doing anything bad except smoking weed
>I guess he was too afraid of the slenderman because he didn't pursue into the woods
>I myself was very afraid of the slenderman in the woods but I didn't die
>strange times

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>Anon, that joke was antisemitic. Apologize.
13 posts and 3 images submitted.
Fuck off, oven-dodger

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>In university with a cold and trying to relax
>Uni is super quiet STEM school that rarely sees any loud partying
>Not today, out of nowhere there begins a loud shouting and clapping close by
>I figure it is just the local normals playing normalball at the nearby sports field but go outside to check because holy fuck is it loud
>It isn't the sports field
>Its a mass of 30-50 indian/arabs crowded around and inside a one person apartment
>They are shouting in their native tongue and in sync
>When they all pause to take a breath one of them screams, I kid you not: "allahu akbar" at the top of his lungs
>Clearly no signs of stopping anytime soon
>Find phone number for campus police
>Tell receptionist the building number and that there is a possibility there is alcohol / underage drinking involved but not 100% sure
>"We'll get some officers out there right away anon!"
>Police show up faster than emergency services when I had a major food allergic reaction
>Hop out of their van all while the screaming gets even louder than before
>They get close to the building and everyone goes dead silent
>Check to see if the police van was still around from time to time and they end up staying there for a solid 60-80 minutes straight.
>arabs/indians dispersing for all that time right outside my window carrying huge fucking religious statues all with really depressed looks
>MFW I probably scared the shit out of some normals and possibly kicked out of the college for underage drinking
What devilish things have you been up to as of late anon?
18 posts and 5 images submitted.
Nothing I smoke pot and nothing pisses me off
I lied like once ir twice this week to avoid awkward conversations, not much.
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Good job anon, you just helped protect your future job security at the same time

ok so. i fed my dogs caffeine pills yesterday to try to kill them and they didn't even die. all they did was shake a bit and lick their lips a lot. should I try chocolate next? they're resilient fucks
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
Just brew up some beer. Dogs love spent hops but just a small amount will kill them through malignant hyperthermia.
i don't have alcohol around
more caffeine then

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Any robots here have a chronic illness?

>tfw hemorrhoids
>have to push my asshole back in after a shit
>sometimes it pokes out after a good fart and it becomes impossible to sit down
>even more insecure with women

Pretty bad desu.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
I probably have cancer in there somewhere
I have every single one you can imagine but weed cures them all I'd rather have weed then a house the whites need to stop being ass holes and let us have weed
>pokes out
like a prolapse?

this is how Harry Potter fan fictions changed my life

>teens years
>4chan and porn everyday
>intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humor :^)
>really a cynical piece of shit
>think all women are retarded whores
>think I'm more clever than almost everybody

>start reading Harry Potter fan fiction
>most are written by women
>some are very good
>impressed by how clever and funny women can be
>understand how women think about relationships
>I don't believe I'm so clever anymore

>far more humble than before
>interested by women for more than sex
>don't believe that women are inferior anymore
>(true) literature everyday
16 posts and 4 images submitted.
Women ARE smart and funny, get over it dude.
it's like a bad south park episode or something
I know it's cringeworthy but life often is

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I'll start:

>defends females
>says bro when white
>says nigga when black
18 posts and 1 images submitted.
sounds like the 2017 /r9k/ starter pack
>implying there's anything wrong with hating SJWs
>Being white while going on /r9k/

>you will never stop having standards warped by porn and loneliness
>you will never stop being attracted to immensely-sized boobs that you have virtually no chance of ever seeing in real life, to think nothing of even meeting a girl with such an attribute
>in the unlikely chance that you ever even managed to get a girlfriend, you would make her hate you when you inevitably have to awkwardly explain that you don't want sex and just want to touch huge boobs
>in all probability she wouldn't have these and would become insecure and angry even if you love her for who she is, or if somehow she even did, she would get frustrated with how obsessed with them you are
>you will always waste so much time and thought every day thinking about and saving media of and masturbating over improbably large fat deposits on the chests of women
>internalized guilt makes you feel even worse for using as material images of girls who have boobs so big that they are a medical condition and girls who aren't even trying to photograph themselves in a sexual way
>after you masturbate all you can think about is how much you really want love instead, and tell yourself each time that you're going to stop
>it never works and you never have the discipline to change
I wish it wasn't so hard to stop being such a stupid animal. Hating myself over this instead of not giving a fuck just makes me seem even more pathetic which in turn makes me hate myself even more.
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
aren't you the guy who encourages others to fap?
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>glad I don't care about boob size and love the insecurity caused by unfeminine traits in women. Tomboys and flat chests are cute as fuck.
What a fucking ape you are. Just stop watching porn. Pathetic.

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>be sober
>wanna destroy the whole world
>laying in bed wanna die so bad I can't move
>tired as fuck pissed off at everything my mind won't stop intrusive angry thoughts
>feeling my eyes get more dark and tired

Take like 5 hits of weed

>start laughing
>not angry or worried about a gf
>just watching dumb shows on tv
>smiling laughing not worrying about anything
>enjoying life clearing my mind minimal stress

Holy shit why is this illegal? I mean I get it it probably distracts people from work and their life and shit and people probably do fucked up shit on it but I literally can't have a bad thought or harm a fly when I'm on this shit. Just make it cheaper please Jesus anyone anyone who can help just make this affordable Jesus Christ
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
In the hours you wasted while high you could've improved your life so that you don't feel like shit when you're sober, but you won't and you'll just keep pushing off actual self improvement for the momentary dullness that drugs give you
>Improve life while high

Life is naturally even more joyous that what you experience when you're stoned. However POWERFUL conditioning is used on children in their formative years to make them selfish and scared in just the correct quantities to make them want to work hard but not rebel (i.e. serve their masters).

Drugs like cannabis and psychedelics are illegal because they have the ability, in some users, to undo this conditioning - if only temporarily.

>tl;dr people are programmed to serve through their own misery

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>act like a different person with everyone
>change myself to fit what I think they expect from me
>feel like I'm nobody
>feel like I have no persona of my own
anyone else know this feel?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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I used to have that problem back in highschool and while in college. Spend a lot of time in isolation and you'll start to know who you are. This is just another part of you. Now go out there and show your true form.
I more or less have one of my own, but I do a lot of the same shit, just badly.
But I have spent lots of time in isolation. I'm still not sure, I'm just completely boring. I even change who I am online when replying to different people.

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Taytay has a new album coming out. Can't wait tbqh
17 posts and 6 images submitted.
That new song sucked. I'm sick of the "anti-chorus" trend. Sounds stupid as fuck. Thought she'd be above that for some reason
I hope its better than the single suggest it will be.
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>Privileged Stacey releases another basic pop album
>Except this time it's not even catchy

Her new song was 4 minutes of her whining and pretending to be a "bad bitch"

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>tfw ignored everywhere in your life
Facebook, school, YouTube, Discord, 4chan, and in real life I'm just irrelevant everywhere no matter how hard I try. I'm going to an hero.
13 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Take this pity (You)
That's sad. Is there something you needed to tell someone?
What are your hobbies man?

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Would you get a 4/10 gf if she has a good enough personality?
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
yeah but girls with amazing personalities are hypothetical creatures at this time
Depends how bad the 4 is
Yes, I only care about personality.

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Fuck this.

I am bored anons. Truly bored. I live alone and don't do drugs or drink. I need stimulus.

There has only ever been one thing to do when I hit this feeling - World of Warcraft.

How is the game atm? I have played since vanilla taking long breaks every now and then. I know its gone casual but is it still active?
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
Its active but its too easy. So easy you will get bored.
The community is dead because it is so easy there is no need for one unless you're like a super hardcore raider.
The new zone is good of course, the music is excellent and always is. Pandaria was a good expansion no matter what they say. WOD was absolutely terrible. Legion is bwtter than WOD but still not great.
Eventually I just torrented legacy servers and started playing for free.
Smoke crack already pussy
>Legion is bwtter than WOD but still not great.
fuck this, legion is the worst the game has been
at least WoD was so stripped down content-wise that you weren't compelled to play more than you had to
with legion the game is garbage but if you want to be competitive you have too play way too fucking much, much more than you've had to in over a decade
and that's just to maintain your best chances of having a character as powerful as you can

got invited to a party thats going to be filled with people i dont know at all. any advice brobots?
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
That's what a party is about, getting to know people.
Don't go OP they are just gonna make fun of you
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Don't fucking go. Literally they'll just waste their time playing GAY NIGGER SHIT like Cards Against Humanity and then fall asleep.


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