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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6036. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Please help. Its 1AM, I'm addicted to caffeine, I can't fall asleep, and I have work at 6. FUCK!
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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I would smoke some green if I were in your shoes and that were a possibility.
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>>36659630

BUT IT ISN'T! I'M SO FUCKED!
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>>36659610
Stop being such a pussy

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Is your way of jacking off unusual?
>Stick middle finger into foreskin
>Run circles with that finger around the head of my foreskin
>Rub underside of dick up and down with that finger as I cum
It's the only way I've really known. I don't see how moving your hand up and down the shaft is pleasurable at all
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>I don't see how moving your hand up and down the shaft is pleasurable at all

For a lot of guys, it activates the stretch-sensitive corpuscles in the ridged band and frenulum.
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>>36659576

Adding--assuming you weren't circumcised.

There was a cut anon here a few days back who said that since the skin on his penis couldn't move at all (he was tightly circumcised, not loosely) to masturbate, he just rubbed his thumbs against his dick.

I tried it and it didn't feel good at all. It felt really bad.

I'd tried something similar when I was a kid and it didn't feel good then, either.
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I can see the appeal to all of that but I don't do it.
Wouldn't consider it abnormal because I see the appeal.

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>tfw just started my boy period
i guess it's gonna be a rough few days
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Do you have a boi pussy? So you just shit uncontrollably?
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>>36659559
i don't think you know how periods work, anon.
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>>36659559
leaking pre for no reason
being overly emotional
basically like that

Do neurotypicals actually feel warm and welcomed when retail staff say "Hi How are you doing" every time you walk past one of them in the store?
18 posts and 3 images submitted.
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my autism makes me debate ignoring them or muttering a hi how are you back at them
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>>36659514
Short answer, sometimes they do. Most of the time though they don't really care and some flat out ignore you.
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>>36659514

"Hello, how are you?"

>how are you?

What a fucking disingenuous greeting. I hate that this is considered a normal thing to say

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Name? Its for a homework
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36659472
+yo'ur m_u_m(s) [female]+
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>>36659472
Bruce McTuckmaballs
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>>36659545
What kind of shitskin incel actually waste his time making images like this?

tfw you're a black guy stereotypically living in poverty and you feel so sick of relying on others' help and not being able to find a way out of it in a way that is true to yourself

I don't want to be seen as incompetent.
I don't want to work a dead end job.
I don't want to be ostracized or passed over.
I don't want to be unable to help others out who have dealt with what I have lived.

I'm so so sick of it. What can I do? How can I not only survive, but thrive, grow, and be reliable?
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Go check out a youtuber named Bushcraft bear and watch his winter videos. Thats how I want to live.
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>>36659628
his solo 4 day winter video is awesome.
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>>36659628

I'm confused how this is related.

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>penis feeling weird
>penis shedding skin
>went to doctor
>tells me to stop jacking off for a few months
How was I supposed to know you could get a callus on your dick
Should I listen to my doctor or invest in an onahole?
16 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>36659381
use lube dumb ass
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>>36659381
>invest in an onahole
Just do this. It's really not that much money for a decent basic one.
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HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! how often are you masturbating?!!

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I have a dilemma robots,

I started dating this girl a few months ago, she has a great personality, a good job and genuinely cares about me. The problem is that she is kind of chubby and I feel like I could have a more attractive gf, even though she isn't ugly at all. I'm scared to leave her and find a new gf because the thought of getting cheated on terrifies me.

What do?
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Just cut your dick off and start taking HRT, already.
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>>36659421

I mean, I have a pretty nice dick and I'm chad-tier fit. I feel as if being a tranny would be a waste of good genes
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she could exercise and diet. she'll be way more attractive

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>highschool oneitis (white) married a guy who is same race as me and looks like me (Asian)

What did she mean by this?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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it means you're a race-obsessed fuckwit
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>>36659269
Stop browsing /pol/

It means that she likes that guy and she doesn't like you
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>>36659269
All chinks look the same so that doesn't really mean much.

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What do you guys think he meant by this?
37 posts and 5 images submitted.
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It would be more like if those cheerios were in other ppls mouths first.
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I think he confuses Cheerios with people. Because the analogy doesn't make much sense yet he's anthropomorphizing the Cheerios and reflecting the feelings humans would have accurately. Especially that last frame.
>men and women held to different standards
Maybe he should apply anti-sexist idea more. But yes certainly. I do not care as much about my imaginary friends whoring around because I don't hang out with them when they do and they don't put any sort of standard on me in that aspect. For hypothetical potential romantic partners there's some portion of me who does have to care about the sexual portion. Because I'm not asexual. As for the general case with society as a whole it's probably more the case that women care when they're called a whore so other women care when they're called a whore and so on. Men don't. So the chain ends there. Men care a lot about some vague form of success. Calling a man a loser is a very serious insult, they can very often get violent when you call them that. You find that there's lots of blame shifting among losers of society. Xenophobic behavior is more common among losers because they actually are a threat to a loser. A middle class person doesn't have to care. You rarely hear people call women losers to great effect. They don't have the same strong connection to the word.

You'd think a relatively clever guy like John Green would understand this but it's very common among even smart people to lack a great deal of empathy.
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>would I enjoy cheerios any less if they had been gaped by giant Chad cock and filled to the brim with semen?
>of course not! I can't think of anything I would rather consume than dick holster cheerios!

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Master, master, where's the dreams that I've been after?
Master, master, you promised only lies
Laughter, laughter, all I hear or see is laughter
Laughter, laughter, laughing at my cries

FIX ME
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36659206
please don't shoot up ur school
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whats tht yer referencing from anon
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>>36659206
>not quoting superior ...AJFA songs

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Its that time again gents. Apologies for the late post, finally got an appointment booked and was drained.

Anyway for those of us who don't know the drill:
>Johns share tips
>KHVs ask questions
>Eurobros brag how they get it better & cheaper
>Hawaiibro chimes in about local AMPs

Don't level up to Wizard, post in this thread today!

Today's story:
>Contact girl #1 Wednesday, don't hear back
>Contact girl #2 Thursday, don't hear back
>Contact girl #3 Friday, don't hear back
>Saturday dawns
>Go against my better judgment, contact a new girl with a sketchy review, short notice
>Turns out she is super chill, kinky, and a nerd
>Goes above and beyond for my fetish (snowballing)
>Strongly considering seeing her again as soon as my balls recharge
14 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>36659146
How do I go about finding a hot escort to take my 25 year old virginity
I am in London
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disregard escorts acquire sex robots
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>>36660074
Google your local review board
Lurk for awhile and learn the lingo
Don't fall in love with the pics
Some escorts are more newbie friendly than others, just be up front and patient

Also, isn't hookering legal in Britannia? Atleast you don't have to dance on eggshells while negotiating. Or take the train to France.

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Hey!!! My names Ash and I'm desperate and lonely for friends.

My discord username is Lyra#6056
10 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>36659138
/catfish/ origigeneral
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>>36659138
How did this roastie hurt you, op? Did she wrong you in some way? Perhaps she doesn't reciprocate your romantic advances?
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Inb4 this bait blows up. Also hop the fuck off my board

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Any femanon wanna talk to a bedridden failure?

>giving my gf of 1 month a ride home using motorcycle
>as soon as i drop her off she said the relationship isnt going to work but she said "she had fun"
>iwasusedagain.tor
>depressed and suicidal right after
>van tailgates me because i was going slow
>tried to overpass me but in the process hitting my mirror and i panicked and crashed the bike
>van just left the scene
>now in the hospital with a broken femur, clavicle and back spasms

Tell me one reason why life is still worth living
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36659135
that's what you get for having a cute normie gf
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Don't worry, there are guys with bigger problems
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>>36659135
>not using bedridden sob story to land new qt gf

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>arguing with some faggot
>he messes up and says something stupid
>gets btfo by a bunch of other anons
Better than any amount of (You)'s
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>>36659131
>this post with that image
Please be bait
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>We must sterilize humans
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>>36659131
I think you're on a spectrum OP


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