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I'm just looking for a girl to jerk off to on skype, I get off rather easily, you might not even have to take your bra off, so there's not much effort required. Think about this as a way to easily boost self esteem and whatnot.
pls respond
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lol
shoot yourself in the neck
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>>36726097
Lol. Die you asshole.
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lol.
Cease to exist.
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idgi
I'm matching with Chads, Brads and other normies on Tinder, getting messages but I'm like a 4-6/10 BLACK fembot depending on who you ask. I'm not looking for hookups lol this is just for fun, but why are their standards so low?
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>She will never capture you and convert you to islam via BRAPtorture
why even live
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>>36726063
>but why are their standards so low?
it's a numbers game. if they ask every girl if she wants the fuk, eventually one with want sum fuk from him.
now post your thick thighs
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>>36726063
4 in female terms is 6 in male terms. How it happens. Maybe they have a black fetish?
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>meet qt on kik
>she's from Qatar the richest country in the world
>says that most women there are virgins and she's one
>she texts me 24/7
>I have her on snapchat and shit so in pretty sure she's real
>she also wants me to call her on snapchat
>she's sent me cam pics on kik
>she has an iPhone so getting the software to do that would be really fucking hard even if she did know how to jailbreak her phone
>she owns her own business and doesn't even work and goes on island vacations
>she's talking about starting a new 6 figure job that will make her wealthy
>talking about buying an apartment in a trendy area for 3500/mo usd
>talking about buying an Audi R8
>she wants me to come to Qatar to be with her
>I told her I'm a non virgin living in the peasant land of upstate ny on a farm
>she says alcohol is banned from her country and I told her I'm an alcoholic and smoke weed constsbtly and she doesn't care
This is a trap right? It's just isis trying to harvest my organs right?
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>>36725992
Yes goyim- I mean robot. Go to Qatar, with your middle eastern buddies.
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just make her come to you and you're safe anon
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>>36725992
probably a trap, really.
sounds too good to be true.
Would you be a personal Maid-Slut for a spoiled rich girl for 200 thousand dollars a month?
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Yes, without hesitation. Now hire me.
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>>36725942
Kek I would do it for free
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Why not? Depending on attractiveness I might even go lower than that.
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What do you do to eliviate the excrutiating pain of depression?
I sometimes play CS:GO. I also comfort eat.
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>>36725886
Doggo and tf2 here.
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Yoy could just end it all and go for a permanent nap, that's one way to elevate it with the benefit of not realising you probably suck ass at CS:GO
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>>36726113
I do. I really do suck ass. I always get no more than 300+ points at deathmatch rounds, but it keeps me alive.
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Got a scar in a fight with someone. Threw a plastic shit at me and gave a wound 3 months ago.
Since the scar happened I got depressed even though my face is fucked up but I don't know that scar was fucked up 1mm long
Anyhow how to get over it and should I leave it, use creams, see dermatologist or laser treat it.
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a scar that's 1 mm long makes you depressed? actually kekking right now
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>>36725854
is it noticeable by anyone?
if yes dude you can make alpha stories about your scar
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>>36725897
I know. It's just that it happened to me in a time of depression too.
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>Order food from Chinese take out for myself
>Two forks in the bag
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you can easily eat with two forks
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>>36725860
heck you could even just use one
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>>36725840
Sometimes I pig out so bad they put 4 forks in there, thinking all that food is for 4 people.
Nope. It's for me.why am I such a fatass..
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are these guys the ultimate embodiment of reddit?
do you wish you could have a love like theirs?
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I didn't get strong reddit vibes from Jim. Michael's wacky girlfriend on the other hand.
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jim and pam are too good for reddit.
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>>36725863
I don't know, I like jim but don't you guys hate pams passive aggressiveness?
I'm a neet virgin living with my parents. How do I get a girl?
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Buy an escort faggot
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>>36725741
Get a jawb
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>>36725770
not OP but don't they demand references now?
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Who else here /passivelydying/?
I haven't eaten anything in the last three and a half days save for a capful of peanuts yesterday
I haven't slept since Thursday night
I'm seeing shadows and shit out of the corners of my eyes all day today
I'm angry and paranoid
I don't know how long a person can live like this, but I hope it isn't long
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Are you actually trying to kill yourself?
Also keep me posted OP
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>>36725713
Well, like I said, "passively"
I want to die, but I'm a huge coward, also I don't want my mom to think I did it on purpose
I've been feeling really shitty all week because of some shit going on in my life, and I was already having a lot of trouble sleeping, and eating was making me feel sick
So it just sort of worked it's way into, "let's just see what happens"
I figure if I do die, then everything works out fine
And if I don't, then I'm not any worse off than I was before
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>>36725841
Well good luck OP.
Gotta admit seems like a bad way to go, have you tried looking into a helium tank?
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Hi welcome to McDonalds, what can I get for you today?
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don't really eat this but I like their artisan grilled chicken sandwiches
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can I get a whooper with garlic bread.
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>>36725566
For me it would be the mcchicken
Anonymous
2000 was 17 years ago. 2017-05-02 07:18:34 Post No.36725562
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2000 was 17 years ago. 2017-05-02 07:18:34 Post No.36725562
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TO48Cnl66w
share any 2000 era feels you guys have.
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WE HAVE TO GO BACK..........
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1mtXl-uwkQ
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Remember this guy? That was 2,000 year ago. Feel old yet?
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>>36725562
G o r i l l a z
originally
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fucking hate guinea pigs. all they ever do is wheek whenever you rattle a plastic bag but they never show any kind of affection, let alone acknowledge your existence.
there's a reason cats, dogs and fish are the most popular pets in the world. dogs are high maintenance but they're also loyal and will devote their entire lives to loving you. fish aren't anywhere near as affectionate but require almost no maintenance at all, to the point where they're basically living decoration. cats are a nice middle-ground; they can be affectionate when they feel like it and are generally self-sufficient.
but guinea pigs
guinea pigs are messy as hell, which is weird considering the fact that they live in a cage. they fling their shit and bedding all over the place until your living space looks like a barn. they shit and piss wherever they stand with zero warning, so you can't hold them for more than 5 minutes without getting shat on or pissed on. they're insanely high maintenance for a cage pet and will begin to try to kill each other the very second they run out of hay. not only that, but they'll die if they spend too much time alone and they do NOT show ANY affection toward their owners at all. I could be gone for 6 months and when I come back, I doubt they would have even noticed as long as they were taken care of. the ONLY advantage is that they're cute.
fuck guinea pigs. fuck them.
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Those animals look like they have down syndrome
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>>36725550
guinea pigs are some of the dumbest fucking animals
they cannot recognize words like their own names or whatever you use to tell them "food." they have no facial expressions and they just kind of stand there with a stupid fucking gormless look on their fat little faces. they just give you no feedback at all as pets. fuck guinea pigs indeed.
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>>36725550
>he didn't get a mouse
Mice are bro-teir. Their just as messy but less of a douchbag towards their owners.
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>go to community college to get life together
>every class is filled to the brim with obnoxious stacies and their beta orbiters
What the fuck do I do guys
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>>36725546
Just go to class and stop worrying about everyone else faggot. Most of those dumb asses are going to stay in there anyway.
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>never go to class
>mfw I still pass
pretty comfy desu, i'm studying for an english degree.
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>>36726609
>english degree
have fun waging at starbucks, normie
Anonymous
Painful stories from your childhood 2017-05-02 07:17:09 Post No.36725535
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Painful stories from your childhood 2017-05-02 07:17:09 Post No.36725535
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Painful stories from your childhood
Anonymous
2017-05-02 07:17:09
Post No. 36725535
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>be me
>14
>summer camp
>camp educators decide to organize a "Send an anonymous gift" activity
>had spare money so gave 3 random people chocolate tablets (I used human proxies to send them and made sure they haven't told them my name)
>go back in my room and start playing my GBA games on my phone
>one of the educators peeks in my room
>"Anon,you've got a gift!"
>ohrly.jpg
>take a look at it
>it's a paper-made teddy bear holding letters
>I immediately guess that the gift is from a girl
>still wanted to confirm my deduction
>"Mr.Educator,can you tell me if the person that sent me this is a boy or a girl?"
>he grins
>"it's from a girl,Anon."
>what.jpg
>I start taking out the letters out of teddy-bear's hands and start reading them
>they are all normie-tier life advices like "be yourself" or "no one is special like you"
>back then,I haven't started lurking on 4chan so I was genuinely happy about them
Cont. inside the thread
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>>36725535
Cont.
>fast forward to the end of the day
>we are about to find out who were the ones that gave us the gifts
>everyone of us gets up and describes the gift that they have received and the person that gave them the gift stands up
>I also stand up when the 3 people described the chocolate I sent them
>I am the last one to describe his gift
>so far,only 3 people haven't recieved any gifts
>I get up
>"I recieved a paper-made teddy bear full of motivational letters"
>everyone goes silent
>a girl gets up
>9/10 girl,chocolate-like tan
>dickisnowdiamonds.png
>open up my mouth to thank her for the gift
>she cuts me off and tell me the most painful words I have ever heard a girl say to me
>"the gift wasn't for you"
>wtf.gif
>she goes on about how she described the person she wanted to send the gift to but the educator might have fucked up the details and gave the gift to me instead
>I offer to give the gift back and the letters too
>even as a kid,I noticed a disgusted glare out of her eyes
>she refuses
>wanted to insist but felt like I shouldn't push it
>after that,we all go back to our rooms
>while in the dark,I decide to use my phone to read the letters again
>the more I read them,the more I tear up
>the letters show how much of a nice person she is
>remember the glare she gave me
>i have a rage fit and begin ripping every letter in pieces
>I cried myself to sleep that night
>next day,bright red eyes from crying all night
>the educators tried to cheer me up by telling me normie stories from their childhood how "girls would accidentally give them gifts"
>since that day,I have learned to never trust girls for what they are
Pic related in the first post is the teddy-bear. I still kept it as a memo from my childhood.
Sorry for shit quality. I don't own any cutting-edge smartphones with double cameras on the back
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>>36725551
>>36725535
Also,in case mods can't read the subject of the thread,I'm currently 20.
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>>36725551
God damn OP that sounds bad.