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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2756. page

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post your qt hands you autists
32 posts and 14 images submitted.
My hand is fat and black and I bite my nails.
Just shaped my nails to points
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R8 my foot my dudes

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>Parents threatened to kick me out if I don't get a job within the next month

Recommend me some robot friendly jobs stat. I already know of overnight stocking and cart pushing. I just don't wanna be around le normies
53 posts and 10 images submitted.
If you dont want to be around normies stay in your fucking basement.
Get a job in digital marketing anon
Get over it, seriously. I'm not saying that normies aren't insufferable - they are - but money is money and you only have to care enough to keep your job. In fact robots can do really well at work because normies are typically lazy and don't know how to do shit.

Tell me where to go.

I am ready to become a normie.
I have strived for this day for years and years.
I have a good job making six figures in a low cost area.
I drive a $70k car.
I wear nice clothes.
I have excellent hygiene.
I have improved my social skills and confidence.
And finally as of today I have a nice tan.

I am ready.

After living deep in the cave of the basement.
After ruining all friendships.
After dropping out of high school.
After putting 5000 hours into counter strike and starcraft.
After never being hugged.
After never speaking to a girl.
After being severely addicted to pornography.
After being looked at like I was a serial killer.
After retreating from the world and going in years long hiding.

I put it all into energy and I have fixed my problems I believe.

It is my time.

Where do I go to meet them? The normie attractive girls. The cute girls. Tell me where, and for the love of god dont say the bar, club, group, etc. It must be a public place where I can randomly approach them. I think I can do it. Help.
52 posts and 6 images submitted.
Pick up street photography. Take pictures of cute girls. That seems like a decent conversation starter.
also, congrats on getting your shit together.
to fix one's own problems is truly the greatest accomplishment a robot can do, i just hope it's enough

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>start making progress with leaving my room, going outside, being more active
>one small thing goes wrong
>all motivation lost
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
its too hot outside my man

This happens every week to me
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>start learning to drive
>make one tiny mistake
>dwell on it for days and get depressed
This also happens with every mistake I make that is obvious to me

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>thought pic related was a meme
its not. its fucking real. stop while you have the chance.
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
I hit a wall where I'd fuck dudes but would never get anything stuck up my ass.
there is n stop. it's either that or "ascending" to wizardhood.
You're fucking gay quit denying it.

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What kind of woman would you want to start a family with?
22 posts and 5 images submitted.
Probably not a black one, that's for sure.
A black woman obviously


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How do I go up to a random female stranger and talk to them? How is it possible?
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
If you look like a slob, you stand no chance. Clean yourself up first.
>If you don't look like chad, you stand no chance.
you cant get sex by talking to strangers. you have to be friends on facebook first or use a dating app

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Anyone else notice how much things changed during this year? Social media got really big and it feels like technology was coming up with something new every month.
26 posts and 8 images submitted.
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It was the year that the damage became irreversible. I wonder if those imageboard historians are still doing projects, or if they've all moved on by now. If they're still around writing pieces, they'll probably all mark 2007 as the turning point where we entered the dystopian internet we have today.
Early 2007 was GOAT. Late 2007 was shit.
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2007-now just feels like one long year to me.

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Really though the qeustion i seek is why do "i" exist if "I'm" Nothing more then an synapse firing to another inside a lump of flesh known as the brain. Who am "i"? What am "i" who are "you"?
What are "we" are these beings we call humans really "us" or are "we" just a symbiotic parasite living inside another the brain being the control mechanism or "us" in our lesser evolved state taking over the original humans replacing their control organisms i imagine we were likely nothing more then a predatory species or parasite obviously infectious enough and fast enough to spread we must've adapted to the humans body to avoid rejection but maintain a symbiotic relationship.

The "brain" is actually a symbiotic parasite that infected early humans and i've become aware of it I've taken over control from my symbiote
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
I know people will dismiss my theory but it's more then likely clearly with the lack of research into the subject there's a reason for it they don't want the public to become aware they are parasites enslaving an entire species.
The existence "we" have come to accept is nothing more then an illusion from the work of our slaves.
you dumbass. so many animals have brains that it'd difficult to tell just how wrong you are.
But none are as advanced as "us" are. None have split the atom.
They are still mindless creatures following their hosts instincts, we have left earth discovered new worlds and created a great deal of things.

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What is some r9k approved kino?
9 posts and 4 images submitted.
Buffalo 66' is one of my favorite movies and the protagonist is a total loser that I relate to all too well.
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Stop. You need to leave and go back to >>>reddi/tv/
an originally original no

Why do some posters think gay people can't be robots?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
They only hate gay people because the majority of fags here are prison gay without realizing it. And that's the worst kind of gay.
Because the second you turn 18 and go on any hook up app you are connected to thousands of people who want ravage your faggot asshole.

You actually have it easier than %99 of posters if your a gay sub
Well the opinions of these people generally amount to "if you can 'easily' obtain sex, then you do not qualify to be a 'real' robot". It is said that like females, gay males can obtain sex with little to no effort if they debase themselves enough to attract some random horny dude (even if only the very grossest and low quality dudes take on the task). Thusly they have no right to complain about their non-sex-having state, as they technically can have sex without going through the kind of hoops that straight males have to. I get their point, but its only if you define a "real robot" as someone who is practically completly unable to have any sort of relations with anyone ever. I'm not too keen on that definition, but that seems to be the mindset of gay-excluding robots.

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I really want to be a girl. It kills me a little more each and every day.
64 posts and 15 images submitted.
why though? girls are weak and useless, you'd just be a fucktoy for some guy.
>take knife
>remove benis
>stick knife into peepee hole
>have vagina now
>be girl
>be happy
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I know that feel anon, I keep waiting for it to go away, but it never does
when the fuck does it go away

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Are you comfy robots?
Me, well I'm playing guitar in bed, and it's raining outside. So pretty comfy.
28 posts and 16 images submitted.
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Nick Drake makes the best music for melancholic comfy feels
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If you can call sitting in an 80 degree room with two fans blowing air directly on my face an eyes comfy. It's ok tho it will be cooler in about an hour. I'm listening to black metal and browsing the chins.

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Thnx for the bump.
As for black metal, I've only listened to Burzum, what would you recommend?

Unrelated track:

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>Brother asks if Ive made a living will

[Spoiler]after i accidentally said I've made money in the stock market[/spoiler]
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
tell him you lost most of it and only do penny trades before it's too late
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why do spoilers never work for me? it is op that fucked up the spoiler or is it my extension? I'm really missing out on a good feature. I don't know what happened. shit just never works
I think auto correct caps the Spoiler one and the shitty bbcode think it doesn't match the uncap spoiler

>living in poverty with my mom
>sister passes away while in police custody
>involved in lawsuit over her death
>finally coming to a close; about to get settlement
>deadbeat, alcoholic father gets informed that he can request his share of the settlement
>deadbeat, alcoholic father hasn't had any contact with the family in almost two decades; owes over $50,000 in child support
>judge is a known MRA who criticizes child support and alimony laws
>grants my deadbeat, alcoholic father half of the settlement
>we get half, then have to pay the lawers their share
>we end up getting less than him
>mom has spent the past week crying herself to sleep

Jesus fucking Christ.
35 posts and 3 images submitted.
Sometimes there's no justice in the justice system. You shouldn't become bitter over it because it won't do you any good. If you're that pissed off though, do something about it like working towards overhauling the justice system or killing your dad.
Your mom fucked a deadbeat and decided to have the kid.

Literally she had 100% power, and she squandered it.
If we had any other judge, they would have understood and given him the least amount of money possible.

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