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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3849. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>been browsing 4chan since summer 2006
>mfw it's summer 2017
>tfw used to go on other boards more often, /v/ and /a/ and /tv/
>mfw I've been browsing /r9k/ for 95% of my 4chan sessions for 5 years
>tfw realizing I've spent more than 50% of my life on 4chan
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>>37804829
/r9k/ is a really bad board to have as home board

i was on it when i was more depressed, thankfully the weather got gud again and i'm shooting more and riding my bike and back to marginally better boards

I go to /r9k/ only to feel better about myself now
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>>37804829
I started browsing in 2011, my senior year. Used to only browse /b/, now b is shit. Well shittier...
It's okay Op, we're all gonna be here forever. I'm trying to use discord more though
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>>37804945
>2011 reddit embryo thinks he can tell me anything
>>37804890
I know bro, I used to be way more depressed when /r9k/ became my home board but even though shit's looking up now, I can't escape this board toxic culture.

Autism time robots
>be 15
>freshman at high school
>in study session
>nobody is doing much except for one guy
>he's looking over a textbook
>curious, I decide to see what he's looking at
>I say to him "H-hey whatcha looking at?"
>says he's reviewing drugs and the effects they have on the human body for Health class
>autisticjokemodeengage.exe
>put my face up to his book and sniff vigorously as if I'm sniffing a line of coke or some shit
>start walking/running around and yelling out random shit pretending to be high
>everyone in the room stops what they're doing and turns to look at me
>I realize I'm acting like a fucking retard at this point and consider my options
>do I acknowledge how autistic I was and apologize?
>or do I do something even more autistic?
>I choose the latter option by blurting out "Uh oh guys, it's c-chicken time" and dash out of the room
>slam my knee into the Health guys desk on the way out
>look back to see everyone's face look like pic
>for the rest of high school I was known as that "Chicken Drug Guy"
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>>37804818

>for the rest of high school I was known as that "Chicken Drug Guy"
>I realize I'm acting like a fucking retard at this point and consider my options

Your only option is an hero. underaged_fag.cpp
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>>37804818
>uh oh it's chicken time
Im in tears OP, im just imagining the scene where you've just dropped the spaghetti and everyone is staring at you when you say that before running away
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>>37804818
Oh dude. This is pretty good, you win

>be virgin up to 25, get laid mostly with prostitutes 26-29 after losing virginity to some internet cunt
>be 31, women suddenly want to fuck everywhere but still can't relationshit because they're fucking crazy
>get in a habit of harassing women on Craigslist casual encounters when bored
>18yo w4m on Craigslist selling used panties and socks in my town
>ask her if she'll sell me her pussy instead
>she asks how much
>tell her "$150"
>she gives me her phone number
>exchange pics, fetishes and preferences
>she's incredibly turned on by the whole idea and my pics
>she casually mentions she's a virgin so I have to be slow to start but after that I can pound for hours
>she tells me to buy lots of condoms to show her the ropes
>proceed to fuck an 18yo blonde virgin all over my apartment in every way, showering and cuddling/Netflix with her
>she wants to FWB now dedicated and wants to get ripped apart a few times a week
>she's going to go in birth control to apply my creampie fetish


>life long virginity then this
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Should I leave home?

>19 years old
>dropped out of university
>quit job due to anxiety
>depressed
>no friends/gf
>mother says she regrets having me, wishes she was dead
>father is quietly disappointed in me

While I like living at home because it's all I know and it's a somewhat comfy NEET lifestyle, it's driving me insane at the same time. I have roughly $3000 saved up in cash and access to one of my parents cars. I don't want to live in this major city anymore, I want to drive into the country side. I checked craigslist and there is a bachelor suite available for $500 in a town that seems pretty nice. There are other places I'm also considering, but I feel like I'm just living out hypothetical situations, rather than actively perusing it. I don't know if I'd cut ties with everyone if I left. I always imagined myself running away from it all, but now it seems somewhat necessary. Feel free to tell me I'm a naive spoiled little shit, I know it already.
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bump

Anyone with experience would be lovely, I'm feeling pretty lost right now. Thank you.
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what big city are you in?

But ANON! Didn't you know that we are absolutely REPULSED by short guys? LOL why didn't you choose a taller body? Well, I guess you'll have better luck next time ahahah! See ya Anon :^D
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Hello I am >>37769906 from a couple days ago back to finish my report. I ended up putting the benis in vagina for the first time, seeing naked boobs (that weren't my mom's) for the first time, and sucking on boobs (that weren't my mom's) for the first time. I'll take my leave from /r9k/ after this review is posted.

>benis in vagina
overrated, though i also had trouble with my dick probably due to death grip masturbating every day for the last 10 years. it feels good to slip the benis in there but once i was inside i really didnt feel much. i also hated being on top, the girl was much shorter than me so i couldnt find a comfortable position. her being on top was much better and more comfortable, and having a naked girl sitting on my dick was a good feeling. 4/10 when i was on top 7/10 when she was on top
>seeing/sucking on boobs
actually underrated, definitely the best individual experience i had from this weekend. she pushed my face into her chest and sort of cuddled my head while i sucked on her nipples, like she was breastfeeding a baby. that was the only genuine 10/10 experience.

my final verdict is 7/10 overall, good but not great. and incredibly overrated by normies who make it seem like a 10/10 or even 11/10 experience. the boobs were by far the best part too, the vagina isn't anything special. i will do it again if it ever comes that easily to me again but it isnt a magical thing that i can no longer live without and im not going to chase after it.

since im no longer pure i cant post on /r9k/ anymore. see you space cowboys
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Loser guys become virgins
Loser girls become whores
Why is this?
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Does anyone else get crushes on video game characters? Is that really pathetic?
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>asking this on 4chan

Would you love your gf even if she didn't shave?
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>>37804443
wouldn't know, never had a gf
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>>37804443
yea, i'm not really interested in sex anyway

Who else is good looking enough to attract ugly girls you don't want?
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>TFW good looking dude
>TFW high standards as a result
>TFW spook all the girls greater than or equal to me in attractiveness
>TFW still turning down girls I consider below me ti the point where they must think I'm gay
>TFW I just dont want to settle

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I was thinking about what religion the majority of /r9k/ follows. I'm guessing atheism.
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>>37804336

Hello Sir,
Do you have a minute to Larp about the Allfather?
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>>37804336
I'll give you a hint about my religion: I non ironically wear a fedora
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>>37804336
>atheism
>religion
literally kill yourself my man

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Is he autistic? https://youtu.be/T4EJ9HHFApM
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Hello /r9k/ is there anyway I can link ex-roasties nudes to her new bf after she stole from me without being punished for revenge laws? This from the uk to portugal. Probably have to this over facebook, will provide said nudes for help
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>>37804287
Or you can be the bigger person and not do anything.
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>>37804326
I could be but when 500 euros worth of stuff gets stolen, im a touch salty
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any knowledge, come on guys

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That feel when my milf professor liked my picture on instagram this late at night. I am fucking TRIPPING.

I just added her on Facebook

Hope she doesn't find it creepy
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>>37804266
Maybe you can fuck her and gets AIDS, normalfag!!!!!! GET OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT HIT THE ROOOAAADDDD NORRRRMMMIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

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Should I ask her out or is there not even a point?
>pretty qt but most guys don't look at her
>Me: University kid, dull, nerdy, not overweight tall
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>all he knows about a girl is her looks
>Wants her to devote her life to living with him


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