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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6096. page

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What ciggies do robots smoke? I've been smoking these and looking for something new.
39 posts and 11 images submitted.
>>
Sometimes newports, sometimes Marlboro 27s
>>
>>36626846
You a blackbot?

Oregano
>>
>Laugh my ass off when I realize that if you are a wagecuck and smoke you are spending nearly half of your paycheck on cancer sticks

Thank goodness I never smoked

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>tfw my oneitis got Puerto Rican'd
16 posts and 7 images submitted.
>>
>the live in Puerto Rico
>my oneitis is my only friend
> no way of getting over her
>>
>my new oneitis likes me, flirts with me, messages me
>she is almost certainly a virgin
>tfw can't get with her because my dignity won't allow it
basically, she is legal where I am from, but still young. Less than two years younger than me, but I am 3 grades ahead, the difference in maturity is just too much. She doesn't understand how wretched and shitty I am, like girls in my grade fully understand. She deserves better but she is too immature to understand that.
>>
>>36626751
You think that's bad? I lost mine to a fucking heroin addict.

>Daddy look! I picked you some flowers! *holds up a bunch of dandelions*
How do you respond?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
"These are..."
>take slow deep breath
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDS"
>snatch the dandelions away
>throw them to the ground
>stomp them into mush
>>
>Blow them into the air

"Thanks honey...did I actually get laid? Is your mother black? Is she hot? Are you adopted? Did you get these from a neighbors yard?"
>>
>>36626723
*take flowers*
*turn around*
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
*breathe in*
BBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
*smack lips*
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

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>"Anon, you have exactly one month to move out."

What do you do?
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
>>36626585
I'm already moved out, it's lonely here
>>
"make me"
also my parents aren't shitty and wouldn't do that to me. I am 24 and I have no intention of leaving soon. not that I can afford it in my expensive as fuck state where whites are a minority, go figure
>>
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>have about $1000 neetbux saved up
>use that to move out
ez

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>tfw depression ruined my life and cost me my friends, job, and education
It's not fair. I was so close to being a normie.
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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no you weren't
it was when not if
>>
nothings fair. normies die normies. maybe one day yoll get lucky but thats worth shit
>>
>>36626505
>It's not fair.
yet you chose to make this thread and waste more time instead of doing something productive with your time.

wah wah everyone feed into each others laziness.

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How do I stop stuttering and stammering and saying the wrong words when I talk?

It makes me sound like an even bigger dumbass than I actually am.
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
There is nothing wrong with stuttering.
>>
>>36626483
Stuttering girls are cute. Ah, wait, you are a boy. Time to become a trap, anon.
>>
>>36626494
It's embarrassing for me. It's very frustrating to not be able to communicate what you're trying to say. My stutter isn't even as bad as it could be, but it's enough to get me flustered.

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This just happened today
>Be me
>In classes, almost time to head to dorm.
>qt 3.14 I sit next to is pretty cool. Kinda normie but alright nonetheless
>Solid 6.5/10
>She starts going on about how she thinks that she annoys me.
>Tell her she doesn't
>She says that "Asperger's can be a blessing and a curse sometimes"
>She has autism, just like me
>We are both shut ins
>We both like anime
Hold me lads, I may be able to ascend from robothood.

I'm a bit of a /pol/ack, I'm nervous to get politcal near her. any tips for not fucking this up? I'm like a 4 or 5
17 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>36626433
>I'm nervous to get politcal near her

Yeah, my best advice is to never go there with her. Don't even think about it. Chances are very good that if you start in with the /pol/ stuff, she'll look at you like you just puked.
>>
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>>36626433
dontevenworryhomie
justbeeurself
>>
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>>36626433
Just pretend your neutral. Or just pretend you haven't heard about whatever she brings up. Then you wont have to make an opinion. Then, down the line (like a serious relationship), you can ease into red pill her if you care a lot about your political stance. Either way, good luck boyo. I'm rooting for ya ^^

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Is depression real?

I just don't know anymore, it all just feels like fake attention whoring.

I don't even know if I'm depressed, I don't find enjoyment in anything any more.
17 posts and 5 images submitted.
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there are always people out there who will make you depression feel illegitimate because they got hooked on cracked and everyone they loved died but your depression is probably real too OP
>>
I'm depressed and I have no idea why, but I have never told anyone except my brother because we're extremely close. Otherwise I pretend to everyone that I'm perfectly fine.
>>
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>>36626445
I don't even understand why people talk about it with other people, it's like a quirky trait to them or something.

I don't believe I'm depressed, but I just haven't been happy. I drink a lot more now too, I'm trying to cut back though.

I don't want to go to some Doctor either, don't think it would help

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>tfw no obdurate bf
8 posts and 4 images submitted.
>>
tfw what is obdurate?
>>
>>36626394
why is the file name Tomoki? it's Tomoko Kuroki not fucking Tomoki you idiot.
>>
>>36626394
stop wasting what little time you have on this earth.

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Does anyone here suffer from the same problem?
Eyes are the windows of the soul, they say... my soul must be quite messed up too.

I look ridiculous with these fucking eyes (pic related, mine are not that gross but yet..)
21 posts and 8 images submitted.
>>
Hey thats me you posted, howd you get my picture and fuck you man. I have a wife, doing better than you ever could
>>
I have a lazy eye, it's nice tho. Cervero should use an eye-patch. He would be cool as fuck
>>
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>>36626383
KEK, Cervero. Get yourself an eye-patch!

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What are you bros.......

>PLAYAN

>WATCHAN

>LISTENAN

>READAN

>EATAN

>DRINKAN

>FAPPAN

>FEELAN
60 posts and 21 images submitted.
>>
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>PLAYAN
Was playing some Stepmania earlier

>WATCHAN
Got caught up on some seasonal anime

>LISTENAN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TFxneI3Br4

>READAN
Nothing atm

>EATAN
Just ate some mini wheats

>DRINKAN
Hot chocolate rn :3

>FAPPAN
Can't fap due to being on Paxil

>FEELAN
Feeling like nothing since Paxil makes me a zombie
>>
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>>36626300
>>PLAYAN
Valkyria Chronicles
>>WATCHAN
New episode of Shingeki no Bahamut
>>LISTENAN
Gorillaz - Humanz, it's shit
>>READAN
One Punch Man
>>EATAN
Protein bar
>>DRINKAN
tea
>>FAPPAN
https://e-hentai.org/g/1004939/b224bbf493/
>>FEELAN
Bored but pretty comfy
>>
>>36626300
im gonna attempt to go out of the house (oh fuck) and go to this cool cozy bar i always been meaning to go to
its notorious for people meeting up and talking
real good vibes apparently
ill come back and update you brobots

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Everyday when you're walking down the street...
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
i think about jumping in front of a truck
>>
Nah, I look at the ground. Get used to it because when in the woods my father as a child he insisted that I had to do it because of snakes and shieet.
>>
>>36626268
*with my father

Did I say anything wrong? She never responded.
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
Nah jokes like that are fine (literally everyone laughs at that shit i have no clue why), she's probably just retarded
>>
>>36626170
She sounds like a normoe brother. And I'm high right now.
>>
>>36626170

>>36626322
This.

She probably doesn't think for herself either.

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hows it feel knowing your testicles are just dead weight?

im 20 and still a virgin, so much sexual frustration i could fucking explode. just kill me already.
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36626160
You do have an alternative OP

*Snip snip*
>>
>>36626160
>tfw can't use benis in its prime time because we must spend 100% of our time in good goy training camps
>>
>>36626160
Only 1 more year until you can drink your frustrations away. Worked very well for me.

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Anybody got any good sperg out stories?
>be 14
>Stacy walks up to me and asks if I want to be her girlfriend
>I've never talked to her before, even though I knew who she was, so I was pretty suspicious
>decide to go along with it and say sure
>she laughs and walks away
>later
>be walking to my next class
>somebody grabs my hand
>itsher.jiff
>she looks at her friend and laughs
>I get to my class and tell her bye
>all the chads laugh when I walk in
>they ask me how my relationship is going
>say good I guess
>they burst into laughter
>when they stop laughing I start laughing hysterically
>it's completely quiet in the room except for my bloodcurdling laughter
>everyone is staring at me even the teacher
>after about a minute my laughter dies down
>Tyrone asks "you good dawg"
> I say yeah I'm good "dawg"
>sit down and wait for the teacher to start teaching like he's fucking supposed to
>later
>walking home from school
>see Stacy
>she says "oh, anon, I hope you know our relationship was just a joke right? Other Stacy dared me to because it would be funny"
>I knew it
>ask why it's so funny
>"haha because you're a loser, anon"
>I start laughing pretty hard
>she just stares at me for a while while I'm laughing
>"well anon, I'm gonna go I'll see yo-
Cont
37 posts and 8 images submitted.
>>
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>>36626152
>suddenly I stop laughing
>no wait I say
>she stops and asks what's going on
>I see a figure in black in the corner of my eye
>it nods as if confirming my thoughts
>I grab Staceys neck and squeeze
>she gasps for air and grabs my hand with both her hands
>shes pretty weak and can't do much to stop me
>tell her to say shes sorry
>you-re doing this-just for that?
>I tighten my grip
>tears start running down her cheek
>then I realize
>I was so caught up in the moment I never realized how soft her skin was
>underneath her shell of an attitude that gives off the impression that she's too cool to care is a girl
>a girl that can feel sorrow and love and happiness
>and pain
>her soft struggling voice interrupts my thoughts
>I-
>I'm sorry she says
I let go of her neck and she falls
>to my surprise she doesn't hit the ground
>something stopped her fall
>I looked down and saw my arms holding her
>she's still weak, but she's not unconscious
>I can feel her soft feminine body heave for air
>I lift her up
>she's breathing pretty heavily
>w-what are you going to do to me she says
>I look in her eyes
>she truly looks terrified
>so I lean in
>and feel her warm lips meet my own
>for just a second, it felt as if nothing existed any more
>it was just me and her in this empty landscape that only existed because of our love
>even if it was just for a moment
>I wanted to be here forever
>all this pleasure, exchanged only through something as simple as a kiss
>I wonder if she feels it too
>we stand there kissing for about a couple seconds
>I finally pull my face away and lay her slim body down
>and I run
>>
>>36626152
>>36626188
What ended up happening? Any concequences?
>>
Continue. Please. I wanna know how it ends.


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