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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1482. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>literally have to pretend you like it until you can choke it down without thought

Is alcohol the biggest scam ever pulled on the consumers?
23 posts and 3 images submitted.
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People like you are the worst. I don't like beetroot but I don't post about it on 4chan when my uncle has it with his salad. It's not some big man conspiracy, people just like beer. I love a nice cold beer but when I was younger it tasted vile.
>>
>>38745189
>drinks shit-tier alcohol
>wonders why it doesn't taste good
>>
>>38745189
I like clear citrus flavored beers, I rarely drink beer though, just cheap vodka.

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Thank fuck it's summer so I can shitpost all night edition.
84 posts and 13 images submitted.
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>>38745186
Can't imagine there are many people from Ireland on this board. This thread is going to be very exclusive.
>>
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>>38745186
They're after me lucky charms! Hahaha!
>>
>>38745186
I want to hear OP's voice. Irish accents are the best.

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ITT post greentexts on disappointing or embarrassing situations.
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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bump. big ol bump. big ol bump on my head. big ol bump. big ol bump on my head ha
>>
bumpy boy bumpy boy bumpy boy bumpy boy bump ha
>>
>crush finds out
>hear them talking to a friend about it
>hear more and more kids laughing at me about my crush over the next few days
>overhear stuff about a surprise on Valentine's day
>get tentatively excited
>actually shave my pubic area that morning in hope of sex
>during lunch, talk to old bio teacher about cancer cells
>see everyone who was super excited before get really disappointed
>figure I missed it
>go home and cry
>see a letter on 4chan
>think it may be them
>respond as if it were
>continue seeing posts like that one
>seem to be having a dialogue with this person, though they typically never respond to my posts directly
>everything makes sense that some of the posts are really them (lots of signs)
>things go downhill and more and more to shit
>see a post that I think is theirs that basically was a goodbye and well-wishes
>thread appears to flood with disapproving Anons
>think it's because of what I said
>have been losing weight and not sleeping properly due to paranoia
>be eventually too scared to keep going to school
>get thrown in a long-term loony bin
>write an apology/explanation/love letter to crush
>hear voices there that try to convince me that I was a racist, an asshole, a child molester,
>they say that they were there because crush killed themselves and they wanted to avenge their death
>they say that crush was dead for 7 days and then rose back to life
>voices go on nearly 24/7 for over two months, lying about me and criticizing my thoughts and actions
>mfw I think that the voices are real for the majority of it: :(
>get convinced that they're not real by finally believing someone that they didn't hear the "conference call" (the voices) after so many people kept telling me that the voices weren't real
>get out of loony bin
>eventually ask what crush thought of the letter (I put a lot of work in--9 pages, handwritten)
>they say that they think it was written in a delusional state and that pretty much none of it made sense
(cont.)

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What would you say was the main event that turn you into a robot? For me it was never being allowed to go to school, then having my oneitis break up with me then dating someone and then me turning 18 and still a virgin.
35 posts and 8 images submitted.
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>>38745113
Fuck I thought I'd at least get one reply.
>>
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>>38745113
>be me
>be like 12
>be fat and shy but intelligent
>actually very outgoing and socially smart online even though am a train wreck irl
>have lots of good internet friends
>meet cute gril online
>a year or two older, same country but 400 km apart
>develop oneitis
>become closest friends
>swn love me the same way I love her though
>become depressed for 3-4 years
>after cucking myself and gently guiding chads to her pussy in 3 occassions decide to confess
>get rejected as expected
>she still wants to be friends
>i only want to JUST
>get over it but be mentally and socially fucked up forever despite becoming kinda attractive
>mfw wasted my whole teenies cucking myself and murdering my future

If it weren't for my two true friends I'd fucking neck myself.
>>
finding furry porn/hentai when i was 16. was fucked ever since.

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You could be married.

>Be me
>Wife always upset
>Always something bothering her
>Have to walk on eggshells
>Rarely have sex, and not very sexually compatible anyway
>See neckbeard co-worker
>Lives by himself
>Plays with computers all day
>Hangs out with his friends when he wants, goes to furry conventions, has time to exercise and take care of himself
>Realize he is a free man
>He is the master of his domain
>I am but a slave to my prude wife and my kid and my mortgage

Moral:
The grass isn't greener in normieland
23 posts and 3 images submitted.
>>
true, bro.
being married to a woman is the absolute worst.
their cool on occasion, but having a woman be your fucking warden and boss every day gets old quick. i pray for death daily. it's my only true escape because divorce life would be even worse because she would still be in my life but even more demonic.
>>
>>38745070
Why did you marry her and decide to fuck yourself over even more by having a kid?
>>
>>38745172
I overlooked the warning signs and I didn't have much confidence in myself. She has actually gotten better but it still sucks living with someone who has a negative and depressed outlook with the emotional iq of a teenager.

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who here /skelly/?
>how much do you weight and how tall?
>have you tried gaining weight?

im 5'9 comming at 140
gained like 30 pounds in the last few months
>feels good to be average
46 posts and 10 images submitted.
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>>38745036

six foot 150lbs. here

been gaining weight the past month.

gain shake:

>1/2 cup oats, blitzed
>2 scewps ON whey protein powder
>1 banana
>20 oz. Fage 2% greek yogurt
>ice
>>
>>38745068

oh and whole milk whoops knew i forgot something
>>
6 feet 135 pounds

I can't eat without smoking a little bit of pot. and even then sometimes I'm not hungry.

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What's the matter? You're not intimidated by a strong woman are you?
18 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Nope just lube it up before you stick it up my ass.
>>
>>38744989
>woman
Origin
>>
>>38744989
Strong woman, where?

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I'm posting kakyoin with cool sunglasses every day

day120
9 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>38744988
How is your day kakyoinsunglassesanon ?
>>
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>>38744988
Great.

Keep going. I'm living for these threads now.
>>
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>>38744988
hello kakyoin anon
have a cherry

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Tfw you score a date with your oneitis

>get ghosted by her afterward
>leaves me on all social media she added me on before
>try texting her
>she actually responds once but that's it
>see her snapchat stories every day
>want to forget about her but she's so beautiful
>talk to loads of girls on tinder but none of them compare
>look at porn, it's hard to cum, and only a bit drips out
>text her again over a week later
>no reply this time
>see more of her snapchat stories
>use AZ screen recorder to save her pics for fap material
>fap to her, squirt 6 streams of cum and make a huge mess, dick still rock hard

I'm literally trying to fap my oneitis out of my system.
40 posts and 4 images submitted.
>>
just cut all ties with her. I promise you it will make it easier than fawning over her forever
>>
>>38745192

Trying to, been trying to talk to other girls but i just don't like any of them, and they don't even seem interested like she was before i bombed at our date.
>>
>>38744937
OP you are so pathetic. Just let go

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What are you doing up so late, wage cuckie?
6 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38744926
Fucking my wife.
>>
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>>38744926
Well, in addition to watching Rick and Morty and Game of Thrones and Twin Peaks, I get to watch the absolute despair of NEETs as they desperately try to bolster their rockbottom life position by creating jealousy. They'll create none of course, but that doesn't matter when you just act like every response is jealous.

It'd help if you had something that was actually difficult to acquire to be jealous of, but literally anyone can be unemployed.
>>
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>>38744926

Jokes on you, I'm chronically exhausted at work and my sleep debt Friday evening is so severe I sleep til about 7 PM on Saturday.

But I'll probably call in sick tomorrow because I feel like shit and am seriously considering suicide and I think that's grounds for taking a day off.

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Why haven't you developed a verbal abuse fetish yet?

Being called a pile of vomit by a cute girl makes you feel great.
9 posts and 5 images submitted.
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I have because it fuels my fetish for harming woman.
>>
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>boss screams at me for dropping dishes
>get unbelievably aroused
>>
>woman yell at me
>fantasize about ripping them to shreds and wearing their skin

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Virgin Thread- 25+ only

27 year old here. Never even kissed a girl. Should I kill myself yet?
166 posts and 30 images submitted.
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>>38744869
>27 year old

How many times have you asked this question, why don't you just do it already you pussy
>>
>>38744869
wow, that's a fat sweaty anime butt!
>>
>>38744869
20 year old virgin here, fuck your age restriction. It fucking sucks, i feel like a fucking freak and a loser when I hang around my friends, all of who lost their virginity back in highschool

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>dad is still yelling at the TV about McCain
This is the third day in the row, I'm getting worried
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Baron pls go
>>
Cool dad fuck mccain. Gooks should've done their job.
>>
you know what you have to do, anon, to finally make him proud of you.

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BEN SHAPIRO VS. CENK UYGUR OFFICIAL THREAD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbUDMnFn_-Y
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38744858
cenk got rekt
>>
Whomever wins, we lose
>>
>>38745625
Hello donaldcancer.

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You have just acquired 100 million dollars in your country's currency. It comes in whatever form you wish it to come in (cash, check, wire transfer, etc.). It cannot be stolen from you, and you cannot lose. The 100 million is the amount after taxes.
What will you do with your newfound fortune? What dream would you fulfill?
OP's Dream:
>move to Southern California
>buy a decently sized modern bungalow on the beach
>buy a dual sport motorcycle
>buy a used but good condition sedan and a standard, old style van, possibly one of those old Volkswagen hippy vans
>buy new music gear and instruments
>buy new surfboards and board crafting equipment
>buy new wetsuits
>buy new snowboards for the winter
>buy new kayak
>buy new street bike and new mountain bike
>buy new skateboard and new longboard
>build a nice big shed out back to house my toys
>buy furniture for my bungalow
>let one, maybe two people stay at my house for free at any given point in time because I'd want the same thing from some rich guy
>donate some odd sum of the rest to a good charity
>keep the rest to support myself for the rest of my days
>spend the rest of my life chilling out in California, maybe try and write a book, go big with my music, or do some art as well
30 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38744785
I'd put most of it in savings, invest a generous portion, and live a modest but extremely comfy life. I'd probably just move into a townhouse and get a normie four door sedan.
>>
Buy a subscription to every porn site and wank to death
>>
Buy 100 million dollars worth of steam stocks and wait for the next shitty early access survival game to show up


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